Their love, if Gaara could even call it that, was very cold. When they touched, there was no heat. Yes, there was a spark, but whenever they moved away from each other, that spark disappeared, leaving them colder than before.
Neji was almost silent as a lover, not whispering words of passion or everlasting love. In fact, they rarely had much time to themselves, despite the fact that Naruto sent him to Suna often and invited Gaara to his village as often as was deemed appropriate. Even with the time, they spent all of it having sex, and they had nothing else in common. Even after such a long time, Gaara had trouble thinking about what brought them together in the first place. Some diplomacy meeting, he thought, with Naruto and Hinata. Hinata had introduced him to her cousin, nearly falling back into her old stuttering self in front of the intimidating redhead.
It was like two forces clashing, and Naruto had moved Hinata away from them, making several excuses and waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Gaara. The sand ninja regretted opening his mind to Naruto, even though the happy-go-lucky man had always been there for him. Since finding out that he had never been in love, he had been matching him with as many women as he could find. When Gaara finally broke and told him that he wasn't interested in women, then the blond started introducing him to eligible men. The final straw had been the last one, some Chuunin from the Leaf who was so eager to meet the man that Gaara could almost see an invisible tail wagging behind him. He figured he would put an effort into the next one, and sure enough it was Neji.
Gaara looked over at his lover sleeping on the other edge of the bed. His face was still calm, disturbingly so, and his hair hung in strands over his forehead markings. Gaara felt his scar pulling across his head, wondering if it had hurt more for him. Neji hadn't done it because he wanted to, after all. He was branded, like a guard dog. Gaara had marked himself, trying to understand the meaning of the character, unable to feel it in his heart.
Very slowly, Gaara laid back into the sheets. He still had little understanding of what Naruto meant when he sat down and tried to explain the mysterious 'love' he meant. He was certain he wasn't in 'love' with Neji. But what did he call this? People insisted on labels for everything, and he wanted to know.
Neji stirred, rolling towards Gaara and opening his eyes. Gaara knew from overhearing gossip that such a look was supposed to be one of the most intimate gestures between lovers. It could pass a message between them, reassuring or comforting. When Gaara looked over at Neji, he saw only the pale lavender orbs that reflected his face back at him.
"Why are you awake?" Gaara felt he needed to ask, turning to look out at the night sky. Even though it was summer, in the desert the nights were cold, and he considered closing the curtain to try and keep out the heat.
"I couldn't sleep," Neji replied sarcastically. "Have you even had a nap yet?"
Gaara looked back at him with mild confusion. Was that concern that colored the man's voice? Normally, they parted soon after their consummation, with Gaara heading to his chambers while Neji stayed in bed. This time, however, there was a party in his home, and he could not leave. Neji's invitation could not have come at a better time. If he had not come over here, he would be listening to the louder emissaries all night. Their sleeping arrangement was still awkward, but both men were very clear about how little they wanted to touch.
"I don't usually sleep," Gaara replied, looking out at the room before meeting Neji's unconcerned eyes. He was almost smirking, those eyes looking at him like he was some interesting experiment. Gaara almost felt a twinge of hurt, but then remembered that he cared about this man about as much as Neji did for him.
A normal lover would have said something nice, or invited him back to the warmth of the sheets. His other lovers, both men and women, liked to stay wrapped together to keep the heat in the room. He could even remember one man who had crawled over to his side of the bed, pressing his face into the crook of Gaara's neck and nearly begging for him to feel the warmth. Gaara had not understood then what the man had meant, only that shortly after they had broken up.
"I think that we should stop doing this," Gaara told Neji, seeing the man's form shift slightly as he got more comfortable.
"Suit yourself," Neji replied, closing his eyes.
Gaara turned his attention to the window, getting up and watching the shadows shift under the curtain. When he opened them, the moonlight flooded the room, and a cold breeze assaulted his naked form. Yes, it really was a cold night.
Gaara got back into bed, pulling the covers up to his chest, and waited for dawn to approach. Perhaps it would be warmer then.