As Bill was ejected out of his body, crying "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" like it was a ride he hadn't signed up for, Dipper rushed back to take control.
Only to have his body remain non-responsive.
"What?" He wasn't even back in his original body, merely floating in its spot with the lower half of his body hidden inside it. He kneeled and then plunged his arms inside of it, hoping that some force would suck him back in. "No, no, no, no," he muttered before standing back up. "Ugh, what is wrong here?!"
He didn't register the high-pitched demonic laughter coming from all around him, omnipresent now with Bill Cipher's return to the mindscape. The colors around him began to grey slightly, but Dipper shook his head and they returned to normal.
"Dipper…" Mabel ventured cautiously, as the audience began to whisper among themselves and ask what was happening, what should we do, did we leave the stove on? Grunkle Stan was putting his video camera away, experience telling him he was about to receive a sucker punch.
"Dipper?" Mabel tried again as she walked over, kneeling next to his body. "Bro bro? Are you asleep?" She shook his shoulder, but he didn't respond.
"Come on, Dipper, we won." She shook him harder. "You need to get up so I can tell you how stupid I was, like it's news to you." She stopped shaking him as the chill from Dipper's body penetrated through his clothes. Something was seriously wrong here.
She didn't even get out the first syllable of "Grunkle Stan!" before he was up on the stage beside her, fingering Dipper's wrist. Even if she had got the full sentence out, it's doubtful he would have heard, broken as her voice suddenly was.
Dipper could only watch unseen as his Grunkle's face paled before setting into grim determination. Stan handed Mabel the car keys. "Mabel, go get the car running. Now!"
"Is that really the best idea?" Dipper asked as his sister ran off, trying to drown out thoughts of This isn't happening, this happening, this isn't happening by picturing the damage Mabel could do with a car.
The demonic laughter had stopped by now, not out of compassion but curiosity as to what would happen next.
Stan carefully picked Dipper's body up, cradling it. Seeing the theater was still packed with gawking audience members, he snapped at them, "Well, what are you waiting for? Show's over, everybody can go home!"
There were disgruntled mutterings as patrons filed out, Wendy and Soos making their way to Stan, who was speed-walking to avoid jostling Dipper's body unnecessarily.
When the three reached the car, Stan handed Dipper off to Soos. "Hold onto him tightly. I'm about to break road laws that haven't even been invented."
"Dude, that doesn't even make sense." But Soos got into the back with Dipper with surprising care, not even hitting Dipper's head on the doorframe like might be expected. Wendy got in on the other side, Mabel having already taken shotgun as Stan took the driver's seat. Dipper floated in, taking a seat between Wendy and Soos.
"Everybody buckle up!" Mabel cried as Stan took off at speeds that would certainly inspire new road laws, if not break any that weren't in existence.
Dipper's spirit phased out of the car, watching it speed off without him. Sighing, he floated off in the general direction they were headed. He found the car at Gravity Falls General Hospital, parked lengthwise so it took up three parking spaces.
"Good old Grunkle Stan," he muttered, unaware of the added presence following him.
With no way to ask the receptionist for help, Dipper had to float through each room individually. Eventually, he found them in the critical ward. A doctor was pulling a sheet over his body, which was resting on an examination table. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do."
"What?!" Dipper yelled. But no one answered.
"No!" Mabel gasped, throwing herself on what was now officially his corpse. Silent tears leaked out of Wendy's eyes while Soos bawled without shame.
Stan glared at the doctor. "What are you, some kind of quack? I demand to see a real doctor! So get out of here and don't come back until you find someone who can save my nephew!" The last part was said with a hitch in his voice.
The doctor was clearly unruffled, well-used to irrational family members. "I will give you a few minutes alone. I apologize for your loss."
"Yeah, beat it! And get that real doctor up here!" Stan cried after him. Then he sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose.
Soos' cries intensified, joined now by Mabel's sobs. Wendy had collapsed into a chair by the bedside, and Grunkle Stan… well, he looked lost for the first time that Dipper had known him, his features soft. Previously, there had always been a trace of acerbic wit that kept his face sharp, but that was gone now.
Dipper held his nonexistent face in his hands. "No, no, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening. I can't be dead!"
A voice came from behind him. "Sheesh, Pine Tree. You would think your body could take a little bit of internal bleeding and strange fluids filling your lungs."
The world washed out once more to grays, the cries of his loved ones muted, as Dipper whipped his entire being around to meet the eye of Bill Cipher, floating before him unconcernedly.
"You! What are you doing here?" Dipper had tried for threatening anger, but his voice came out as squeaky and indignant at best.
Bill rolled his eye. "Is your memory that poor, kid? You saw me leave your body."
"I meant here, as in the hospital. And you didn't leave, you were kicked out."
Bill waved a hand. "Details. And I'm here because all of you are."
"What." Dipper said flatly, growing of tired of saying that word so much tonight. But this crazy triangle wasn't making any sense.
"Well, I was going to do the whole you-haven't-seen-the-last-of-me-slash-we'll-meet-again speech. Then maybe terrorize you a bit. But all of you just left the theater, so what was I supposed to do?" he finished with a whine.
Dipper didn't answer, a trace of color leeching back into his view as he watched the people closest to him struggle to accept what had happened,. Even Grunkle Stan's eyes were looking shiny.
Bill hummed. "Hey, Pine Tree? Why did they put a tablecloth on you? Are they going to use your bones for a table now?"
Dipper wasn't paying attention. He glared at Bill with eyes of hatred. "You. This is all your fault," he hissed. Stressed beyond rational thought, Dipper lunged for the dream demon.
But Bill raised a hand, stopping him in midair. Dipper wriggled, but couldn't get out of the invisible hold.
"Oh, Pine Tree, you must still be catching up to what's happening. Because I know you can't be trying to start something with me, RIGHT?" On the last word Bill expanded to where his eye dwarfed Dipper, his body briefly turning red. Then he shrank back down to his preferred size and color, and with another wave of his hand released Dipper.
Instead of falling down and smacking the floor like he expected, Dipper remained floating where he was. He swallowed what remained of his self-preservation, screaming away in his head. "And what is the worst you can do to me? I'm already dead."
"You're not quite dead, Pine Tree."
A spark of hope flared within him. "Really?"
Gleeful laughter met his ears. "Oh, your body's kaput, and there's no way of fixing that." Dipper's face fell. "But see, you didn't actually die properly."
"What do you mean," he began cautiously, but Bill ignored him.
"As for what I could do to you, the possibilities are endless. But perhaps the absolute worst is…" Here Bill trailed off and turned his back on Dipper.
Dipper once more became aware of the sobs filling the room, all the color crashing back into his view. The cries were dying down slightly as Soos and Mabel began to tire themselves out.
"Bill?" Bill hummed, not answering. But Dipper was persistent. "What did you mean I haven't died properly?"
Still no answer, Bill examining his hands as he debated the merits of nails. On the one hand, they broke easily, but on the other hand they were made of dead things and easily hammerable!
Stan was gathering everybody else together, herding Soos and Mabel out as Wendy managed enough sense of self to follow on her own.
"No, guys, wait!" Dipper called out automatically, forgetting himself enough to be disappointed when they didn't listen.
"Bill!" he cried hysterically, barely noticing as color once more wilted from the world. Bill tried to side-eye him discreetly without completely turning, but the effect was ruined by the fact that he had to twist his body into a taper because of his single eye.
"Bill," he repeated now that he had the demon's attention. "What did you mean I didn't die properly?"
Bill cleared his throat before speaking, simply for the satisfying sound of doing so. "Now see, that's the worst I can do to you."
Dipper stared in confusion at the non-sequitur. Before he could repeat his question, Bill's eye crinkled up into a smile before continuing. "I can just not talk to you."
"See, Pine Tree, you weren't in your feeble body when it gave out, so you didn't die with it. You were here, so now you're stuck here without a way to leave. You're not even a real ghost, kid. And what's left of your body is apparently doomed to become a table."
With this, Dipper had just been pushed beyond screaming, his mouth hanging open. Bill laughed at his expression, but Dipper didn't care.
Eventually, Dipper found his voice. "I'm as trapped here as you are." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yep!" said Bill in a voice far too chipper for someone just reminded that they were trapped in a grey world forever. "More so, actually."
Bill slung an arm around Dipper's shoulder, only holding on tighter when Dipper tried to shrug it off. "Pine Tree, welcome to eternity. Hey, cool, that rhymed!"