I do not own the characters.

Anger, betrayal, disbelief, humiliation and pain were some of the emotions experienced by Admiral Helena Cain when Gina confessed. Gina had come clean and volunteered her identity after the Cylon attacks. Though the mountain home was spared from direct attacks and the aftermath of the nuclear fallout, they were isolated.

No word and no communication of human existence could be detected when Cain monitored her military radios at different frequencies. She could not get hold of her command ship, Pegasus or any other command. Even her satellite phones did not work. Now she had a Cylon in her underground safe house. Gina sat silently in corner of the safe house while Cain was trying to bring up a computer.

"You said you're trying to reach perfection. Then why would you even want to be human, let alone experience emotions such as love, hate, pain, and pleasure? Why go through all of that when you can avoid the heartache? For you to be human is beyond me," said Cain.

"What's wrong with that, if humans seek to improve their lives and increase their longevity? How is that any different than Cylons attaining human-like qualities?" asserted Gina. "You have doctors and scientists, prolonging and improving human lives with pills and prosthetics, and artificial organs."

Gina was huddled at the corner; she was emotionally wrought.

Cain could not believe she had been frakking with a Cylon. Now everyone she knew was gone. She felt the bile rise to her throat.

"I don't get you. This is like the story of the wooden puppet seeking to be a real boy."

Gina looked puzzled.

"You mean you don't know or don't have memories of this story?" asked Cain in disbelief.

Gina nodded no. Earlier, she had explained to Cain that most of her memories were preprogrammed. Any new experiences could be mapped to her consciousness if the others allowed it.

"How does the story end?" Does he become human?" asked Gina

"Of course he does. A blue fairy grants him his wish, he becomes human."

Cain started to curse at the computer, it was having a hard time booting up on the network. Gina could see her frustration and got up, and offered to help.

"So I was a joke to you and now you and the Cylons must be laughing. Was I a toy to you? Why didn't you kill me when you had chance?"

Gina shook her head no. "Helena, I fell in love with you."

"Love? When did this happen? How can you even feel love when you're a machine?"

"This morning, when I thought I would lose you," said Gina. "I don't to want lose what I have and what's in me and I can't bear to go through that the download process again. I don't want to die a stupid death. Helena, I do feel love."

Gina had also told Cain this was her third iteration.

Cain looked at Gina. "What will they do you since you disobeyed orders?"

Gina hesitated. "What do you do to soldiers who are AWOL?"

Cain was furious. "Answer me, what will happen to you?"

"If I should die they could disperse my stream of consciousness into a pool or they could keep my consciousness intact as a distinct unit where it could be downloaded to a new body."

"They could dilute your consciousness stream because you disobeyed?"

Gina nodded and shuddered at the thought of the pool. It was made of vast disparate drops of information swirling aimlessly.

"Haven't you ever had thoughts or wondered what it would be like to keep living. To seek perfection?" said Gina.

Cain ignored Gina while she was trying to reboot her computer again.

"These past weeks have been so real to me, especially these past days. The sand between my toes, the mountain lake, and the roses you gave me, the restaurants and sunset we shared. I don't want to forget any of this. I want this and more."

"Is that so, well frak you. You need to get your head out God's ass and look what you did," said Cain, as she pointed to CCTV monitor. A TV camera was hooked up outside of Cain's home with a view of the mountainside.

"Dammit Look!" yelled Cain.

"Right now it should be late spring. Sunny with a few wispy clouds with a green valley," said Cain as she grabbed Gina's hand and forced her to look at the TV monitor. "You can pretty much forget about romantic sunsets and fancy meals."

Instead of a green valley and alpine trees dotting the mountainside below Cain's mountain home there was a thick layer of clouds. After the nuclear detonations the Tauron atmosphere became saturated with radioactive particles resulting in overcast skies.

Cain pulled out her sidearm and foisted the gun to Gina. "Go ahead, why don't you just finish what you started."

Gina shrunk back.

"Here take it, do it already."

Gina refused.

"Stop it Helena, I can't kill you, I can't and I won't," cried Gina.

"So it was not a problem to do this," said Cain as she pointed to the monitor."

"Why don't you kill me," retorted Gina.

Cain was silent and finally spoke. "I leave that to you."

Gina looked away.

"I wish I could but I can't," wavered Gina. "I can't kill myself and neither can you."

"Why do you have to look the way you are? Why can't you look like a mechanical, a robot?" lamented Cain, as she got up.

"Helena, I love you, I don't want any harm to happen to you," said Gina as she approached Cain.

Cain turned her back to Gina.

"Don't touch me," faltered Cain. "Don't, just stay away."

"Helena, please look at me, I never asked to be a Cylon."

"Let me be," wept Cain, as she went to another room.