Mike Stan Lee the Last Chapter 1: Exposing the Mikester, a hannah montana fanfic

In depth plot summary: Being granted sexual freedom from Miley, Oliver manages to get another girlfriend besides Miley, who is a Hannah Montana fan. As Oliver's new girlfriend watches Hannah Montana and her posse on T.V., she starts to notice that Mike Stan Lee III looks and sounds an awful lot like Oliver! She then starts stalking and spying on Oliver. If this girl finds out that Oliver really is Mike Stan Lee III, she'll be one step towards finding out that Miley is Hannah Montana! Jordan Pruit guest stars.

Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!

Chapter 1: "Exposing the Mikester"

Miley was walking in the hallway in between classes at school, along side Joanie. It was nice that Miley had some one else to talk to besides Lily and Oliver, and just to think Miley and Lily used to hate Joanie! "Seriously, Miley," said Joanie friendly. "I don't blame you for dating Oliver. Hell, I used to date him myself! Personally, I think he's exactly what he claims himself to be. He's smokin' Oakin'!"

Miley smiled. "I don't think you know Oliver like I know Oliver" said Miley.

"Are you saying he's a dork?" asked Joanie.

"Yeah," said Miley. "But then again, that's exactly why I love him."

"Awwww!" said Joanie putting her hands over her heart.

Miley was surprised. "Joanie?" said Miley.

"What?" said Joanie.

"I just heard you say 'awww'" said Miley.

"So?" said Joanie. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing," said Miley. "It's just...I always thought you were so insensitive. I have never heard anything like that come out of your mouth!"

"Hey!" said Joanie in a pouty tone. "Us bad girls need love too, ya' know!"

Miley wasn't sure what Joanie was thinking. "Are you being sarcastic?" asked Miley skeptically.

"Stop picking on me!" pouted Joanie.

Miley smiled and put her hand on Joanie's shoulder. "OK, Joanie," said Miley half gently. "I just wanted to be sure." With that, Miley and Joanie hugged. "How's this for love, Joanie?" said Miley during the hug.

"Well," said Joanie with a smile. "You may not be a guy, but I'll give you an eight."

"Awwww" purred Miley. When the hug parted, they were still holding onto each other. "Yeah," said Miley. "See now, if you said that to Lily, she'd probably try to kiss you!" Joanie laughed.

Miley and Joanie continued walking down the hall. "Anyway," said Joanie. "You may have seen a lot of Oliver's dorky side, but I think he's pretty good in social situations." At that moment, Miley and Joanie witnessed Oliver getting literally kicked in the butt by another guy! Oliver made a sissy squeak. A few other guys laughed as Oliver turned around and yelled at the guy who kicked him. Then the guy behind Oliver kicked him the same way! Oliver made another sissy squeak. Oliver confronted the other guy, then a third guy dumped a can of soda on him. Oliver was clearly out numbered.

Miley and Joanie's jaws dropped shockingly. "Joanie!" said Miley. "Do something!"

Joanie made a furious expression then approached the situation. Joanie grappled one of the guys who kicked Oliver, swung him around, and slammed him and pinned him up against the lockers. "You've got some attitude attacking someone you physically out class!" yelled Joanie. "You're upset about not making the fuckin' football team, so you're taking your anger out on Oliver! Is that the only thing that makes you feel like a big man? If I see you tormenting him again, I'll pull down your pants and tie your dic around your balls!" Miley was impressed. Joanie turned to the other two guys. "And as for the rest of you," yelled Joanie. "If I even hear about you tormenting Oliver, I'll dunk your heads in the toilet so long, you'll drown! And if you all decide to come after me at once, that'll only show what big wusses you are! You all have to team up to fight a girl!"

With that, the three guys scattered. Miley came up to Oliver with a concerned expression. "Are you OK, Ollie pop?" said Miley as she put her arms around Oliver and gave him a kiss on each cheek. Joanie hugged Oliver from behind.

"Oh yeah!" said Oliver as he returned Miley's hug. "I'm definitely OK now! Hoh!" Oliver's last word was said in a high pitched, blissful tone.

"I hope you're not embarrassed by a girl standing up for you, Oliver" said Joanie.

"Oh no," said Oliver. "My reaction to this...Ollie pop sandwich, just shows that...I'm a lover, not a fighter."

The "Ollie pop sandwich" parted after a while. Just then, two different guys came up to Oliver, Miley, and Joanie. "You're such a pussy, Oliver" said one of the guys. "You get your ass kicked, and you're like..." the guy mimicked Oliver's sissy squeaking. The other guy laughed. "And you wonder why you were rejected by the entire girl's softball team!" said the same guy. "Even they're more manly than you!"

Joanie raised her fist as if she were about to punch the mean guy, but then Miley restrained her and said "No, Joanie! They're not stooping to the physical level. This is a battle Oliver has to fight himself."

"Besides," said the other guy. "You're probably gay anyway!"

"Now what the hell ever gave you that idea?" said Oliver angry but intimidated.

"Oh, I don't know," said the second guy. "Maybe because in the 7th grade you brought a dildo to school?" The first guy laughed.

Oliver sighed angrily. "Look, that wasn't mine!" said Oliver. "Somebody else planted it on me!"

"Oh sure," said the first guy sarcastically. "I'll bet you shoved it up your ass in the bathroom!" The second guy laughed. With that, both guys walked away laughing.

"They sell those things in adult stores!" called Oliver to the guys in anger. "I wasn't even old enough to get into an adult store! Hell, I didn't even have a car at the time!" Oliver thought for a moment. "You know," said Oliver in a normal tone. "Come to think of it, I still don't have a car."

Just then, one more person came up to Oliver, Miley, and Joanie. This time, it was a girl, a pretty brunette girl with a partial tan and really smooth skin. "Oliver," said the girl. "I heard what those guys said to you."

Oliver made a sheepish expression with his hands up. "Uh, listen," said Oliver with a nervous laugh. "I don't know what they're talking about."

"Well, if it helps," said the girl in a tender, timid voice. "I believe you."

There was a brief pause, then the girl made a nervous smile and walked away. Joanie stepped in front of Oliver. "Ooooooo! Sounds like somebody else likes smokin' Oakin'!" said Joanie as she tugged on Oliver's jacket.

Oliver laughed timidly as he briefly glanced at Miley. "Joanie," said Oliver. "Just because she believes my story doesn't mean-..."

"It's OK, Oliver" interupted Miley. Oliver turned to Miley. "Our relationship is about not being tied down to one person," said Miley with a smile. "So I'm not going to get upset at you if you go after another girl."

"Really?" asked Oliver. Miley nodded. "I'm free?" said Oliver.

Miley put her arms around Oliver's neck. "You're free as long as you still spend time with your Miley muffin" said Miley romantically.

Oliver smiled and put his arms around Miley's waist. "It makes me really happy to hear you say that, Miley," said Oliver. "And don't you worry, Miley muffin, no matter what happens, you are one of the most important people in my life." Joanie suddenly pretended to cough several times. Oliver and Miley broke off their embrace as Oliver turned to Joanie. "Oh, Joanie," said Oliver. "Don't be jealous. It's not that I like Miley better, I've just liked her longer. Besides, you have an idea of what it's like to be with me!"

"But..." said Joanie in a pathetic voice. "We never made out..."

Miley burst into laughter. Oliver looked at Joanie shocked and offended. Oliver was embarrassed that Joanie said that in front of Miley. Miley wasn't a guy, but for her to know that Oliver didn't make out with Joanie, Oliver felt he lost a little dignity. Miley stopped laughing briefly, put her hand on Oliver's shoulder, and said "Not you, her!" Miley went back to laughing. Oliver regained his composure when he realized Miley was laughing at Joanie for complaining about never having made out with Oliver!

Oliver closed in on Joanie. "Do you...want to make out?" flirted Oliver.

"THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!" yelled Joanie exited. "And then how about we go play football with the guys?"

Oliver put his hand in front of Joanie, looked away from her, and said "Never mind."

Oliver managed to ask out the girl who appeared to like him. Sure enough, she liked him! Her name was Megan, and she was definitely nicer than most of the people at Oliver's school. Oliver was on a date with Megan, walking down the beach. "Oliver," said Megan. "You were so quick to figure out that I like you! I admire that in a guy."

"Well," said Oliver. "You know what they say..." Oliver then started rapping.

When ya' like someone

But you can't say

Give 'em lotsa' hints

And make their day!

You like them

But do they like you?

How do they find out?

I'll tell ya' what they do

They read minds

Read minds

Say what? Say what?

Say freaky freaky

Fresh word!

Megan laughed a while. "You're very entertaining, Oliver" said Megan. "But I don't like a guy just because he can rap, because I personally think that's kind of shallow."

Oliver's expression turned sensitive. "Oh no!" said Oliver frantically. "You think I'm shallow? Do you think I asked you out just because you have perfect skin?" Oliver turned his back to Megan. "I knew it," said Oliver. "You must think I'm the most insensitive person in the world."

Megan put one arm around Oliver with both her hands on his shoulders. "Actually," said Megan with a smile. "I'm even more charmed by what you just said. Not to mention the way you said it."

Oliver turned his head to Megan with a weak smile. "You mean...you like me showing signs of weakness?" said Oliver. "And being a dork?" Oliver turned his front to Megan.

Megan put her hands on her hips. "You think you're a dork, huh?" said Megan nodding her head with a smile. There was a brief pause. Megan put her hands on the sides of Oliver's face and rubbed her hands back and forth a few times. "I love you, you cute, snuggly wuggly, little dorky worky poo!" said Megan in baby talk. Oliver started laughing blissfully as Megan began to touch him in more romantic ways. She brushed her index finger down his nose a few times, rubbed his head, tugged on the sides of his collar back and forth, scratched him under the chin, then kissed her own finger tips and pressed them against Oliver's face. It all happened so fast!

Just when Oliver thought he couldn't take any more, he held his hands up in front of Megan to gesture for her to stop. "Whatever you do, don't tickle me" said Oliver.

"Why not?" said Megan flirtatiously.

"Well, not in front of all these people" said Oliver. "No one likes a giggly guy."

"I do" flirted Megan. Oliver blushed.

Later that day, it was raining, and Megan had driven Oliver all the way to her house. They got out of Megan's car, both standing underneath an umbrella that Megan had brought, and walked up to the front door. "Megan," said Oliver. "Do you really think it's a good idea for you to bring me to your home? Aren't you worried about your parents?"

"Oh, just my dad," said Megan as she closed the umbrella. "But he's at work right now. He's working an extra shift because one of his co workers got hit by an ice cream truck!"

Oliver was surprised. "How did that happen?" asked Oliver.

Megan inserted her key into the lock and looked back at Oliver. "Grand theft auto, don'tcha' know" said Megan. Megan turned the key, took it out, and opened the door. "After all, this is L.A." said Megan. Megan and Oliver went inside. The front door led straight to the living room. "OK, Oliver," said Megan. "They main reason why I brought you home is so that I can both watch my favorite show and go on a date with you."

"So..." said Oliver. "T.V. is my competition?" Oliver looked to the side. "Damn, I'm pathetic!"

Megan grabbed Oliver's chin and pulled his head towards her. "But it's so much more special if we get to watch it together!" flirted Megan in baby talk as she ran her finger down Oliver's nose a few times. Oliver giggled.

"I'm a little afraid to ask what your favorite show is" said Oliver. "What is it, 'The Real World'? 'Wild Boys'? 'Jakass'?" Megan turned on the T.V., changed the channel, and Oliver was surprised to see Hannah Montana singing "Life's What You Make it"! "Oooohhhhh!" said Oliver feeling relieved. "You watch MTV2! Not MTV1! I was way off!"

"Yep!" said Megan. "It's the best source of alternative music and alternative blissful entertainment!"

There was a brief pause as the song continued. "So," said Oliver. "You're a Hannah Montana fan!"

"Yeah," said Megan. "I totally have a girl crush on her!"

Oliver made a grim look, hesitated, then forced himself to say "WOOOOOO! YOU GO GIRL!" Oliver gave Megan a high five. When Megan returned her attention to the T.V., Oliver thought to himself, Uh oh... That kind of worried Oliver. If Megan had a girl crush on Hannah Montana, who Oliver actually knew personally (very personally), since Oliver was now dating Megan, he was afraid that may endanger Miley's secret.

The show they were watching was a reality show, a documentary about Hannah Montana behind the scenes, which was a show Oliver, as Mike Stan Lee III, had been on many times. The concert on the T.V. ended, then the next thing it showed was Hannah Montana dancing on a bed, barefoot, in her underwear. She was singing "Life's What You Make it" a little less lively. "OH!" Megan exclaimed in a high pitched tone. "She's in her underwear!" With that, Megan started laughing. Oliver laughed along with her.

"Yeah!" said Oliver. "And she's got such sexy feet, doesn't she?"

On the T.V., Lola Luftnangle suddenly came into the room. She was wearing as skimpy pink top, pink pants, sandals, and her hair was died orange. "Wow," said Lola on the T.V. "You look like you're having fun. Can I join in?"

"Sure!" said Hannah. "Just take off your sandals and hop on!" Megan and Oliver laughed. Lola took off her sandals and hopped onto the bed, standing on it. "You're forgetting one thing, Lola," said Hannah.

"What's that?" asked Lola. Hannah quickly pulled Lola's pants down! Lola made a brief, goofy shriek. Megan and Oliver laughed. Lola giggled and slipped out of her pants, leaving her in nothing but her casual top and panties. Hannah and Lola then joined hands and started moving their arms back and forth while moving their feet. Then they both started singing.

"Oeemaah

Oeemaah

In the jungle

The mighty jungle

The lion sleeps tonight"

Megan and Oliver laughed quite a bit as Hannah and Lola sung and danced in a sexy, provocative way.

"See, Oliver," said Megan as she stopped laughing briefly. "Don't you think this is how real girls are supposed to act? Not just in real life, but also on T.V.!"

"Definitely!" said Oliver. "That's what makes female celebrities so lovable!"

Soon, on the T.V., Mike Stan Lee came into the room. Hannah and Lola stopped singing and dancing. "Oh," said Hannah. "Hey there, Mikey!" Mike then started rapping.

"So you're havin' a private partay'

But now I'm getting' all smartay'

'Cuz' I was just with mah' friend Martay'

And I caught you actin' all tartay!"

"Tartay'!" said Hannah followed by laughter. All three people on the T.V. were laughing a bit as Megan and Oliver laughed as well.

On the T.V., Mike added one last part to the rap.

"Say what? Say what?

Say freaky freaky

Fresh word!"

This time, Megan didn't laugh. Instead, she stared at the T.V. in shock. Then she stared at Oliver in shock, with a hint of skeptisism. Oliver started to get nervous. Megan looked at Oliver long and hard. She ran her hand down the side of his face, then did the same thing with her other hand on the other side of his face. Megan turned her head in different positions as if she were trying to look at Oliver from different angles. She ran her fingers slowly through Oliver's hair. Uh oh, this was bad. Oliver knew Megan sensed there was something very familiar about Mike Stan Lee III. Now she was examining Oliver as if she were trying to figure out who he was. Megan looked at Oliver the same way Lois Lane would look at Clark Kent! "Uh, heh heh..." said Oliver sheepishly. "You know what the most clever thing about that is? He really does have a friend named Marty!"

Megan's skeptical expression vanished as it turned flirty. "Hey, Oliver," said Megan. "You know how on the beach you told me not to tickle you in front of all those people?"

"Yeah, why?" said Oliver nervously.

"We're alone now..." flirted Megan.

"Oh no..." said Oliver playfully. "Oh no no no no no no..." With that, Megan started tickling Oliver, and Oliver started giggling in a sissy tone.

A/N: For those of you who don't understand Mike Stan Lee's rap, back in ancient times, "tart" was another word for "slut."

The next day, Oliver was taking a shower. There was a window right on his bath tub wall. Little did Oliver know that someone was watching him. Outside, in the back yard, just behind some bushes, there was...Megan. She had a pair of binoculars that she was using to peer into the window right where Oliver was showering! "Oh!" complained Megan. "I can't get a good enough view! This would be much easier if I were spying on a girl!" She could only see the upper half of Oliver's body. Megan watched a little. "But it's sexy nonetheless..." said Megan provocatively. With that, she slid her hand into her pants and started rubbing herself.

The day after that, Oliver and Megan were at a spring festival in the park. There were a lot of people eating at picnic tables. There were a bunch of chefs and vendors giving out a lot of food. There were a couple of people playing with firecrackers. There was also a clown, a man on stilts, and a person dressed as a crocodile. It was a bright, sunny day. Oliver and Megan were sitting at a table together, with no one else. Oliver was putting together a sandwich, and somehow, he was enjoying putting it together. "Turkey," said Oliver in a somewhat macho voice. "Ham, lettuce, and mustard! YEAH!" Megan looked at him as if she didn't know what to say. Oliver looked back at her. "I'm a guy, it's food, do the math!"

Megan laughed. "That's what I love about you, Oliver," said Megan. "You're sensitive, but you have a tough side too, and it's charming!"

"Well, at least somebody finds it charming!" said Oliver. "Because Miley and Lily sure as hell don't."

Oliver and Megan took some time to eat their food. "Oliver, be honest with me," said Megan. "You're friends with Miley Stewart and Lily Truscot. Are you dating either of them?"

"Oh, no way, we're just friends" lied Oliver. "They've always thought I was kind of a...dork."

"But do you like them in that way?" asked Megan.

"Not really," lied Oliver. "They've done some pretty embarrassing things in front of me. The feeling is mutual." Oliver and Megan took some time to eat their food. "Pretty much all the times I've tried to charm the girls in the past," said Oliver a little sensitively. "Either they were turned off, or I made an ass out of myself. I mean, ya' try to be cool, and it blows up in your face."

Megan smiled. "Let me tell you something, Oliver," said Megan flirtatiously. "You don't have to act cool around me." Oliver sighed blissfully and put his hand on the table. Megan put her hand on top of Oliver's. They looked into each others eyes. Oliver loved what he saw. The prettiest face he saw since he dated Miley and Lily. Megan started to lean across the table, Oliver did the same, then...THEY KISSED! The kiss lasted about 12 seconds.

"Was that your idea or my idea?" asked Oliver with a smile after the kiss parted.

"I'm not sure" flirted Megan. "Maybe we were both thinking the same thing!" They both laughed.

Oliver then picked up a bottle of ketchup and squeezed it over his sandwich, but no ketchup came out. He squeezed it harder, no ketchup came out. "Argh!" grunted Oliver as he hit the bottle's bottom. Still, nothing came out. Oliver then raised the top of the bottle above his eyes, then, it blasted out at him! "Aagghh! Aagghh!" screamed Oliver in a sissy tone. "Ketchup in my eyes! Ketchup in my eyes!" Megan made a disgusted look. Oliver felt around for a napkin, then wiped his eyes with it.

When Oliver got all the ketchup out of his eyes, Megan was looking at him disgustedly. "Why did you hold it above your eyes?" criticized Megan. "That was a dumb thing to do!"

"What?" said Oliver. "I thought you said I didn't have to act cool around you!"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you would do something that stupid!" said Megan.

"Stupid?" said Oliver feeling hurt. "Oh god, Megan, you hurt my feelings!"

"So..." said Megan. "Somehow I'm insensitive?"

"Look," said Oliver. "I'm going to go get a drink refill. While I'm gone, you think about this."

Oliver got up and left the table, but then Megan spoke up "Oh come on! I'm a bashful child beginning to grow! Cut me some slack, Mike Stan Lee!"

Oliver suddenly stopped in his tracks with his eyes widened, shocked at what Megan just said. He slowly turned around. Oliver walked back up to Megan. "What did you call me?" asked Oliver.

"Mike Stan Lee" said Megan with a suspicious smile and nod.

There was a brief pause. "Why did you call me that?" asked Oliver.

"Come on," said Megan. "You have the same voice as him, you have the same pretty face, and you're both very good at rapping!"

This was not good. Oliver knew Megan was onto him the minute she looked into his eyes while they were watching T.V. together, and now, she was letting him know. "You don't think I'm really Mike Stan Lee, do you?" asked Oliver.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't" said Megan still smiling.

There was another brief pause. "Megan," said Oliver. "Me? Mike Stan Lee? That's crazy."

"Well, gee," said Megan still with a skeptical smile. "Why don't you just take it as a compliment? You know, you're getting awfully nervous for someone who has nothing to hide!"

There was another brief pause. Oliver looked behind himself briefly, then back at Megan. He got the feeling the only thing he could was create a distraction. Oliver closed in on Megan and smiled. "Say, you know how Mike Stan Lee says 'sittin' pritay' in the citay'?" said Oliver.

"Yeah?" said Megan smiling right back.

"Well," said Oliver. "How about we sit pritay' in the countray'?"

"What do you mean?" asked Megan. Suddenly, Oliver picked up a french fry, and playfully threw it at Megan! Megan winced with a high pitched sound. Then Megan threw a pickle at Oliver. Next, Oliver picked up the ketchup, and Megan picked up the mustard, and they both started squirting each other! They were both giggling as they did this.

Then, from behind them, the sprinklers came on. "Hey! Let's run through the sprinklers!" suggested Oliver.

"WOOOO!" cheered Megan. Oliver and Megan got up from the picnic table, Megan took off her sandals, and they both ran through the sprinklers back and forth, laughing blissfully as they held onto each other, and washing off the ketchup and mustard in the process. Before too long, Oliver pulled Megan into the grass, and they were rolling on and off of each other, still laughing. Oliver loved this! This was so romantic! This was a lot like what he did with Miley and Lily once in the ocean! After they rolled for a while, Megan pinned Oliver below her and started kissing him. They made out in the wet grass for about an hour. Finally, Oliver was having some more female success! It was definitely a curse not having any guy friends, but Oliver found a lot of comfort in girls. In a way, he was girl crazy! One time when Oliver failed to get guy friends, Miley suggested he was more charming to the opposite sex than to the same sex. Oliver had failed a lot of attempts to get girlfriends before, but maybe Miley was right. He had no one to talk about guy stuff with, but, it was a blessing and a curse.

This was all a very awesome experience, but Oliver was concerned about Megan getting wise to him being Mike Stan Lee III. He had to tell Miley, to warn her to be wary of Megan. Wait...no, he couldn't tell Miley! If Miley found out about Megan's suspicion, she would be terrified that Megan might find out she was Hannah Montana! And then she would make Oliver break up with her! No, Oliver couldn't let that happen. It was the first girlfriend he had since Miley and Lily, and he wanted to keep her.

But he may not be able to keep this a secret for long.

It was Sunday night. Hannah Montana, Lola Luftnangle, and Mike Stan Lee III arrived in a limo at a celebrity dinner party. There were a bunch of fans and paparazzis crowded around the entrance behind the velvet ropes, and boy were they making noise! Hannah stepped out of the limo, wearing a light blue dress showing cleavage. The fans cheered and the paparazzis took pictures. Lola stepped out in a white dress, with her hair dyed pink, and the fans cheered again! The fans cheered one more time as Mike stepped out of the limo, dressed as a 1940's gangster, all dressed in orange. Hannah and Mike put their arms around each other, with each of their opposite hands in the air, smiling at the people. Then they hugged. Then Hannah gave Mike a kiss on the cheek. Next, Hannah and Lola put their arms around each other in a romantic way, still facing the fans. They let the paparazzis take a few pictures, just like with the last few posses, then they kissed on the lips! "WOOOOOOOOOOO!" the fans cheered. "Hannah! Lola! Will you have a threesome with me?" shouted one of the fans.

A little later, the three of them were inside, and they were sitting at a round table with Traci Vanhorn. "So, Traci," said Hannah. "What are we having tonight?"

"One of the most exotic meals in the world," said Traci. "Lobster!"

"Ooooo!" said Hannah. "Pinchy pinchy pinchy!" Hannah started pretending her hands were pinchers and started gently pinching Traci all over. Traci giggled. Pretty soon, Hannah even pinched Traci's boobs! That made Traci laugh even louder!

"Oh, stop it!" said Traci playfully. Mike laughed, and Lola only laughed weakly, because since she really didn't like Traci, she was actually kind of jealous. Just keep telling yourself, Lily, Lola thought. Hannah licks your pussy, Hannah licks your pussy!

Suddenly, Mike's cell phone rang. Unfortunately, it wasn't his "Mike" phone. It was his "Oliver" phone. Oh no, he forgot to turn it off! "Uh, Traci," said Mike as he got up. "Please excuse me while I take this private call."

"Oh please!" said Traci playfully. "We're celebrities! Nothing is private!"

"Yeah, well I watch porn, but ya' don't see me doin' that in public, do ya'?" said Mike.

"Fair enough," said Traci with a smile. "Go right ahead."

Mike moved far away from the table and rounded a corner. He checked the caller I.D. It was Megan! "Uh...hi, Megan!" said Mike nervously.

"Hi, Oliver!" said Megan. "So, what are you doing right now?"

"Um, I'm kind of out with Miley and Lily right now" said Mike truthfully.

Meanwhile, over at Mike's table, Hannah was squeezing Traci's boobs while giving her a hickie! "OH HANNAH!" shouted Traci. "YOU'RE SO DIRTY!" Traci said that awfully loud.

"What was that?" asked Megan.

Whoa boy, Megan heard Traci! "Uh...I'm guessing that was Miley" lied Mike.

"Gee, that's funny," said Megan. "That voice sounded very familiar. It sounded like...Traci Vanhorn."

ULP! She hit the nail on the head! "Traci who?" said Mike.

"You know," said Megan skeptically. "Hannah Montana's friend."

"Oh!" said Mike. "Well, see, Miley was probably impersonating Traci-...uh, Vanhorn. Miley does very good voice impersonations." And part of that wasn't a lie.

There was a brief pause in the call. "I kind of think you're up to something," said Megan sweetly. "But I guess I'll just get back to you some other time, kay'? Bye, sweet cheeks!" Megan made a kissy noise just before she hung up.

"Bye, Megan..." said Mike in a panicky, sissy tone. She said that so sweetly, and most of what she said was sweet, but the first couple of words were kind of threatening! Traci almost blew his cover! Mike was mad at Traci, but he couldn't bitch at her about it, because that would spill the beans. Megan wasn't the only one he was keeping a secret from. In fact, he, Hannah, and Lola were keeping a secret from the whole world!

Mike put away his phone and went back to his table and approached Hannah. When he got back, Lola was playing with her lobster, pretending it was dancing. She was singing a little song while she was doing it.

"We're doin' the claw dance

Right below the ocean

So we can rock away the waves

We're doin' the claw dance-..."

"Um, Hannah, can I talk to you in private?" asked Mike.

"Uh, sure" said Hannah.

"Hannah, wait!" said Traci. "You're not going to leave me all alone with..." Traci gave Lola a grim look.

"Come on!" said Hannah. "She's not that bad!"

Hannah and Mike left the table. Traci and Lola looked at each other coldly, then looked away from each other. "Well, looks like I'm stuck with pinky whitehead" said Traci. "Why do you always dye your hair anyway? Are you really that desperate to get the guys to come to you?"

"For your information, I happen to be a lesbian" said Lola.

Traci made a quick gasp and then said "EWWWWWWW! You're not attracted to me, are you?"

"Believe me, sister," said Lola. "There are some girls I could do without!"

"Oh, that's a relief" said Traci. "Just don't tell Hannah I said 'ew.' She would never forgive me."

"For what," said Lola. "Your sexuality, or those fake boobs?" Traci gasped offendedly.

Further down the room and around the corner, Mike was talking to Hannah. "Hannah, you and Traci were being way too loud!" Mike said quietly. "That was Megan on the phone!"

Hannah gasped, then lifted Mike by the collar. "How much did she hear?" demanded Hannah.

"Agh!" Mike exclaimed in a sissy tone. "Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!"

"How...much...did...she...hear?" snarled Hannah.

"Uh...she didn't hear your name, but she recognized Traci's voice!" said Mike.

"Agh!" Hannah exclaimed as her jaw dropped in dismay. "What did you say back to her?" said Hannah in an angry tone.

"Whoa! Easy! Easy!" Mike groveled. "I told her it was just Miley impersonating Traci!"

Hannah put Mike down. "Mike, you're supposed to turn your Oliver phone off when you're Mike Stan Lee III!" said Hannah.

"I know," said Mike calming down. "And I'm sorry."

"How could you be so irresponsible?" said Hannah. "I will not lose my normal life just because you're an idiot! Turn off your cell phone, now!" Mike looked back at Hannah as if he were hurt. Hannah smiled. "Ollie pop!" said Hannah sheepishly adding a word onto her last sentence.

Miley, Lily, and Oliver were on the beach the day after the celebrity dinner. They were sitting at a picnic table. Over at Rico's, Rico had hired some steel drum players for entertainment. "I think it was a good idea for Rico to hire some steel drum players," said Lily. "It's pretty relaxing."

"Yeah, relaxing enough to make people not think about how much money they're spending on Rico's shack" said Miley sarcastically.

"It's still not anything like the party last night" said Oliver.

"PARTY?" said a familiar voice nearby. Miley, Lily, and Oliver turned in the direction of the voice and saw Megan come out of the bushes! "What party?" said Megan loudly. "You mean to tell me there was a party and I wasn't invited?"

The other three hesitated with a bunch of stuttering words briefly. "Um, Oliver...went to a party, but it wasn't a very big party" lied Miley. "There were only, like, five people."

"Y-yeah," said Lily. "It turned out to be a geek party Oliver was obligated to go to."

Oliver made a grim, nervous look at Megan, then he closed in on Lily and whispered "Don't over sell it!"

"Well, it's like I call Oliver," said Megan as she kneeled down at Oliver. "My cute, snuggly wuggly, dorky worky poo!" said Megan as she ran her hands on the sides of Oliver's face. Oliver giggled. Then Megan and Oliver started to kiss. Miley and Lily looked at them uncomfortably, then they looked at each other with their teeth showing and their eyebrows slanted. Miley didn't like this. Not because Oliver was kissing someone else, but because Megan was eavesdropping on their conversation. Miley was lucky they didn't go into too much detail about the party, or say anything about...Hannah. Something gave Miley the feeling her life just got a little more dangerous.

And she knew exactly who to blame.

"YOU MORON!" shouted Miley on her front porch two hours later.

"Look, Miley," said Oliver. "I can explain!"

"Because of your dumb ass mistake, Megan thinks you know Traci Vanhorn!" yelled Miley. Miley's next several sentences were said with strong sarcasm. "Oliver knows Traci? Ooo! Maybe he knows Hannah too! Can I hang out with you and Hannah? Of course you can, Megan! Gee, Hannah, you're acting awfully suspicious. Maybe because YOU'RE SECRETLY MILEY STEWART!" When the sarcasm ended, Miley said "Megan is now stalking and spying on you! And if you're being watched, I'm being watched! Which will eventually draw her to the conclusion that I'M-..."

"MILEY, PLEASE!" interrupted Oliver as he stood up to Miley for the first time. "JUST LISTEN!"

Miley suddenly made a shocked, sad, goofy facial expression as if she were hurt. "You yelled at me..." said Miley in a sad puppy voice. "I'm your Miley muffin."

There was a brief pause. "It wasn't my fault" said Oliver firmly. "Last week...Megan and I were watching T.V. over at her house. We were watching our reality show, 'Hannah Montana—Livin' the Rockstar Life.' Megan started to notice...that I look and sound an awful lot like Mike Stan Lee. Two days later, she even called me Mike Stan Lee."

"What?" asked Miley surprised.

"She figured it out, Miley" said Oliver with an assertive shrug. There was another pause. "She kept making hints that she thought I was hiding something from her" said Oliver. "It was my fault for leaving my phone on, but...that...is what started all this."

There was a moment of silence. "OK," said Miley. "It wasn't your fault. But why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Because," said Oliver with a hint of anxiety. "I was afraid you'd get so scared about your secret getting out that you'd-..." Oliver's voice trailed off.

"What?" said Miley. "Force you to break up with her?" Oliver lowered his head slightly and gave Miley a fat lip frown with his eyebrows widened. "Well, I'm sorry, Oliver," said Miley. "But she can't be trusted! If she finds out you're Mike Stan Lee, she'll eventually find out that I'm Hannah Montana!"

"Or if she finds out I'm Lola Luftnangle!" said Lily with a smile who had been quiet the whole time.

Miley looked at Lily. "Don't be jealous, Lola," said Miley. "You're already more popular than Mike."

"Miley, please," said Oliver firmly. "Let me stay with her. I really like this girl. I promise I'll be more careful to keep our secret, and now that we all know, we can all be more careful."

Miley thought for a moment, then sighed. "All right" said Miley. "You can stay with her. But if this gets any worse, you're going to have to break up with her."

"Um, Miley," said Oliver. "As long as we're on the subject, there's a little something else I should tell you..."

"What?" asked Miley.

"Megan...kind of has a girl crush on Hannah Montana."

Miley's eyes widened in dismay. "Double agent boyfriend say what?"

Stay tuned for chapter 2 "The Cover Up"