Disclaimer: All characters and events related to The Spiderwick Chronicles are owned by Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi and Simon & Schuster. Rubik's Cube is owned by Ernő Rubik and Rubik's Brand Ltd.
Warning: This story contains mentions of rape, sexual assault, coercion, female ailments, underage pregnancy, and miscarriage. Please read cautiously if you are sensitive to these types of content.
Currently looking for Cover Art Commissions.
Testimonials for Jittery:
Thank you to Mr. Shadows (formerly Doctor DW Who) and yellow 14 for the reviews! Thank you to Mr. Shadows and Twighlightgirl105 for adding to your list of Favorite Stories! Thank you to Mr. Shadows for adding to your Story Alert! Thank you to Mr. Shadows for adding my pen name to your Favorite Authors, as a result of this story! I genuinely appreciate all of your support.
Still
In the following two weeks after Mulgarath's defeat, the disturbance residing in Spiderwick Estate and the mystical world around it had calmed down quite notably. A fact that Jared was not so sure yet whether or not he liked. On the one hand, the changes to Jared's life had improved his family's lives quite dramatically. The Grace children, their mother, and Aunt Lucinda (not to mention their own personal brownie, Thimbletack) were becoming content with themselves. He never wanted to look back.
On the other hand, while Jared thought that he and his family would be living their happy ever after, he started to notice some behavioral differences in themselves... and what he saw was not always positive ones. Over the course of a week following their goblin battle, Mallory had been acting extremely distant and impassive.
First, she appeared a lot less around the house, spending most of her time occupying her bedroom. The few times she would come out would be for necessary reasons such as for the bathroom or for dinner. Even then, Mallory didn't eat as much as she did before the day she was abducted by the dwarves.
Jared wondered how on earth would Mallory rather spend her free time on the weekends other than practicing fencing, which was what she basically did all the time. He doubted that she would practice in her bedroom. No, their mother would have a fit if she did that. Although imagining his sister pull such a stunt would have been hilarious. It would have, at least, lightened up the mood of the whole estate's dim atmosphere.
Mallory instead had shrunken herself into a hermit, rarely seen and barely heard. And on those obscure times when she would appear, her emotions were detached from whatever else was going on. There was no upturn of contentment on her lips, no twinkle of determination in her eyes, not even the occasional snide remark thrown in Jared's way anymore. Having her usual quirks- positive or negative as they may come- extracted from her was a little disconcerting. She was just so still now.
During the following weekdays, she'd come home from school looking absolutely fatigued. On the rather draining days, she'd complain about headaches that caused her to lie in bed for the rest of the night. She had been acting like that all week long.
Then came the morning when Jared and Simon went to start their new school. They were busy getting dressed when they overheard Mallory moaning nauseously into her pillow. She begged her mother to stay home from school. Of course, it didn't take much to convince her mother; her ailing symptoms were too authentic to be feigning illness. Besides, Mallory wasn't the kind to skip school for no apparent reason. She was too academically competitive with her peers to play hooky.
Jared overheard his sister listing all the indicators of her illness to their mother. That she was bleeding "down there" and experiencing abdominal pains. She also added that her breasts were severely tender, which she said was not a symptom she normally had.
Ew, Jared thought. It was his sister's "time-of-the-month", as his mother once explained to him and Simon two years prior, back when Mallory had her first period. But he did feel terribly sorry for Mallory. She usually didn't suffer this much from menstruating. I'm so glad I'm not a girl, he added to himself.
His mother treated Mallory with a heating pad and couple of pain killers, along with a glass of water and a light breakfast consisting of toast (which she later ended up throwing up the toast into her bedside's wastebasket, anyway).
After that morning, Mallory seemed a lot better, but she hadn't returned to the way she usually was. She still come home from school all tired, complaining about the headaches again, but now she was also complaining about backaches as well. Their mother insisted to schedule a doctor appointment for her daughter, but Mallory somehow manage to sway her not to.
"Please let me go to fencing practice tomorrow!" she pleaded. "I don't want to get cut from the team if I skip out!"
"Fine," their mother complied. "But if you're still feeling unwell after practice, then I'm scheduling that doctor's appointment."
Mallory agreed to their mother's terms, but Jared wondered if she only said she would to buy her some time to break that promise. He only thought so because he had overheard Mallory ask Aunt Lucinda something really strange (and, from his point of view, kind of gross) earlier that evening. She had gone to their elderly aunt's bedroom before dinner. Jared was making his way down the hall, en route to the kitchen, when he heard Mallory's distressed whispers.
"Aunt Lucy? Um, I was wondering... I-I mean, I only had my period for a day, and then the bleeding just stopped..."
Aunt Lucinda patted her on her hand reassuringly.
"You've been under a lot of stress lately..." she said apathetically. Of course, Jared knew Aunt Lucinda was referring to the whole ordeal with Mallory's kidnapping by the dwarves, the battle against the goblins, and being held prisoner by Mulgarath. The white-haired lady gave the young girl a hug. Then, realizing something startling, Aunt Lucinda stepped back and observed the girl's appearance.
"Oh, and you've lost some weight too! Poor child... Come, follow me."
Aunt Lucinda has a point, Jared mused. During his mother's embarrassing discussion about the women's reproductive organ from a couple years back, she explained that sometimes severe stress may alter or cease the menstruation cycle (he blamed Simon on learning that bit of information, since he had asked about it). But if being kidnapped had been the reason for her stress, then why would Mallory be trying to hide secrets that the Grace family were all aware of?
The next afternoon, Jared sat in the station wagon's passenger seat as he tiredly waited with his mother for Mallory to finish practice. Parked on the far end of the lot, his mother asked him to meet his older sister so that she wouldn't get lost trying to find them. As any excuse to shake off his boredom, Jared listened to his mother and jumped out of the car.
Once arriving at the gym, Jared poked his head through one of the double doors. The team was still in practice, so he exited as quietly as he could and waited on a bench in the hallway, right outside the gym's entrance. He scuffled his feet against the tiled surface, as his eyes trailed up and down the corridor. It was just a couple of weeks ago since he roamed these halls.
It might have appeared he was reminiscing, but truthfully he didn't really miss it at all. His life was already starting to shape up at his new school, and Simon was happy there too. Though Mallory's reason to stay at J. Waterhouse Middle School made perfect sense. In a few months, she'd be starting high school, anyway. So what was the point of transferring out to a different middle school when she would only be there for a couple of months?
His head snapped up when he heard the gym's doors swung open. Mallory's teammates began to spill out of the room.
"-what is up with her today?" Jared overheard one of the male players utter. "We usually depend on her to win!"
"Everyone has their off-days," defended the girl with the long brown hair. She was the one Jared recognized. Emma, if he recalled correctly, was her name. "Give her a break," she continued. "She's had a rough semester."
Once the remaining fencers left the building, Jared slowly approached the gymnasium and carefully opened one of the doors. He saw Mallory grab her bag and intended on making her way out of the room when a hand roughly caught her by the elbow. Chris-the-captain, who had been standing just two feet away from her, jerked her close to him.
"If you tell anyone what happened-" he started sharply in a low, dark voice.
Jared had slowly walked through the doors, unnoticed, until he spoke, "Mallory."
The pair had turned to see the younger boy, and Chris-the-captain had dropped the girl's arm. Jared took a breath to hide his uneasiness. "Mom's waiting for you in the car," he finished nonchalant, though he wondered if the two teenagers knew he suspected foul play.
Of course they would never let him know for sure, as the both of them pretended that nothing had occurred. Chris-the-captain had dropped Mallory's arm the moment his glare landed on Jared, and Mallory promptly followed Jared to the parking lot. The nine-year-old let the moment slide until Mallory made an announcement during dinner.
"I want to quit fencing," Mallory stated unexpectedly, staring intently at her pasta.
"Well, why do you say that, honey?" her concerned mother asked as she finished putting Jared's bowl in front of him, before sitting down at her own spot at the dinner table. Mallory forced her vision upward to look at her mother.
"I'm just so burnt out," she explained. "I want to take a break. Once I start high school, I'll join the team there. A few months of recovery is all I need right now." She sounded so convinced, but Jared was not so sure. He kept a suspicious eye on her, but said nothing.
"Well, if you're sure..." their mother said, extending her arm out to pat Mallory's hand across the table.
But she isn't, Jared thought bitterly. But there wasn't anything he could do about it. Not without a confession from Mallory, at least, and he knew that wouldn't be easy to come by.
Jared rubbed his tired eyes as he slowly traveled down the hall. He had dozed off while sketching in his companion journal to the guidebook in Arthur's study late into the night, and ended up waking up at two in the morning. Deciding to return to his own bed, the nine-year-old quietly slipped out of the study and tip-toed his way back to the bedroom he shared with Simon.
His advances slowed once he noticed the bathroom door wide open and light on. He continued to walk until the bathroom was in full view. Jared found his sister huddled over the toilet, with her left elbow resting on the lid.
Her ponytail came loose, causing stray strands of long black hair become matted to the sides of her face with sweat and tears. Hands continuously ran over her face as a poor attempt to soothe her aching head and to wipe away the stream of tears that flooded her face. Face redden with her feverish sobs.
His eyes traveled down to see the large puddle of blood that swam on the floor around his sister's bare legs, staining the crotch of her nightshirt. At first, he didn't think Mallory even noticed him as he took one step closer to the bathroom. But then she tried to strike him with her arm, despite he was far out of her reach to be scathed. A small, strained scream escaped through her gritted teeth as she lashed out at him, continuing to sob merciless.
A figure coming from the opposite end of the hall emerged from the darkness. Simon dazedly looked into the bathroom, turning to his brother with confusion once he had taken one moment to absorb the scene.
Go get Mom, Jared mouthed. His twin nodded in confirmation, walking back in the direction he came from. Soon enough, their mother came rushing to her daughter's side, whispering soothing words to the distraught teenager.
Half an hour later, Jared found himself in the lobby of the emergency room. He sunk into his chair, legs outstretched and thumbs twiddling together. He was past feeling silly wearing his pajamas to the hospital, with nothing more than his jacket and sneakers (sans socks). Simon stood on his knees in the chair, trying to peer in the row of windows behind them.
"What do you think happened?" Simon asked curiously.
Jared dug his heels in deeper into the floor. "I don't know," he murmured.
Though he truthfully answered his brother, he knew that he wasn't being completely honest with him either. He knew that his brother was smart, that he would be able to figure it out if he had observed all the details like he had: Mallory's sick day from a week ago, Chris-the-captain's threat at fencing practice from the previous afternoon, Mallory's proclamation of quitting the team at dinner, and the pool of blood she was drenched in just this morning. Jared knew it all connected somehow; he just didn't have all the evidence to officially claim his accusation.
Jared thought it was better to keep his brother in the dark for now. Simon couldn't read people as well as Jared could; he was too trusting of people. With that said, Jared had a tendency to judge people too quickly. But even though Jared may very well be right about his intuition this time, he felt the need to shelter the truth from his brother for the time being.
Simon dropped down in his seat. "Looks like we might be around here for a bit longer," he mused. He pulled out a few dollar bills from his jacket's pocket. "Want me to get you some hot chocolate?" he offered.
"Thanks, Simon," Jared said sullenly. As his brother took off to the coffee room, Jared got up on his knees and peered out the windows, just like Simon had just done. He sat back down, and quickly stood up from his seat. Swiftly walking through the narrow hallway, undetected by any doctor or nurse, Jared came upon Mallory's room. The door was open just a crack, enough for him to peek in.
Mallory sat stiffly on the edge of a patient examination table, wrapped up in a paper gown, her hands limp in her lap and head slightly bowed. Her expression was hard. With her eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched in a frown, and her eyes glassy with unshed tears.
The ponytail was still messed up, but no longer clung to her face as it once had. In fact, she was dry from the tears and sweat. Her face had calmed from the redness of crying, but her cheeks were pink... like when a person is embarrassed, Jared pondered. The characteristics he evaluated on her all added up to one emotion he could identify: shame.
A female nurse with a clipboard in hand came up beside her, partially blocking Jared's view from his sister. The lady appeared to be talking to her, possibly asking Mallory some questions. Because then suddenly, Mallory started to cry again. Her eyes were shut tight, and her frown deepened. Tears fell from her lashes, staining her paper gown.
Jared stepped away from the door just a bit, enough for another voice in a little office right next to Mallory's room to catch his attention.
"Did you know she was pregnant?" the deep, feminine voice asked of someone who was in the room with her. Jared pressed his ear against the crease of the door, hoping to hear the conversation more clearly.
"No," the other voice finally answered, quietly. It was his mother's voice.
Jared backed away steadily, before hurriedly returning to the waiting room.
"Hey, where'd you go?" Simon asked, holding two white styrofoam cups of steaming hot chocolate.
"I..." he started, taking one of the cups from the other boy's hand. "... went to check on Mallory," he polished off his sentence, staring into the swirling foam.
"Oh, yeah?" Simon remarked enthusiastically. "How is she?"
Jared sighed. How he wished he could remain as optimistic as his brother was. He wouldn't dare tell him what he had just heard. He'll wait for his mother or Mallory to tell him when they're ready. Beside, he probably wasn't suppose to know himself; he just figured it out, and what he heard had just confirmed his theory.
"I wasn't able to talk to her," he answered. "But she was crying."
Simon fell silent for a moment. "You don't think she's sick, do you?" There was another moment of silence before he quickly added on, "I mean, really sick. She's not going to..." Simon was being very delicate with his words now. "...die, is she?"
"I don't know," Jared said truthfully, trying to sip his drink through the thin red straw with care. His tongue numbed against the bit of scaling hot liquid; he swirled the tip on the roof of his mouth to try to soothe the burning. "I don't think so," he finished.
"You don't think she won't, or you hope she won't?" Simon went to seek clarification. Jared blew on his hot beverage and took another sip before answering.
"Is there a difference?" he pondered. Simon slumped in his seat.
"I guess not."
Another half hour went by and the sky just barely getting some light, Jared found himself in the family station wagon as his mother had pulled on the parking break. Taking the keys out of the ignition, she handed them to Simon.
"Go ahead and let yourselves in the house, boys," she said faintly.
The two boys obeyed without a word. Simon took the keys, climbed out of the car, and shut the door firmly. Jared followed the same motions as Simon, out of sync by a second. As he walked up the steps leading up to the house, he looked over his shoulder to see Mallory's head rested on their mother's shoulder, crying again. Their mother's hand ran through the girl's long hair sympathetically. She was saying something comforting to her as she held her in a supportive embrace.
Simon had already unlocked the front door, and hurried in. Jared turned away and reluctantly followed. Both boys went straight up to their bedroom and into bed, though neither of them got back underneath the covers or tried to fall asleep. They were too freaked out about Mallory's ordeal to do anything other than to lie across Jared's bed together. Simon eventually got up to pace around the room.
As the hour rolled by, the sky grew gradually lighter. Simon ended up on the side of his bed, looking out the window. "They've been in there a long time," he finally voiced out-loud.
"Mm-hmm," Jared mumbled in response, fiddling with a Rubik's Cube that had been left on his bedside table. Simon broke his gaze from the window to turn his attention to his brother.
"You know what happened," Simon stated simply. "Don't you?"
"I..." Jared started, "figured it out."
Simon lurched forward on Jared's bed. "Please, Jared, tell me. What's been going on?"
Jared bit his lip, breaking eye contact with his twin. Once he recomposed himself, he turned back to Simon to say quietly, "I can't."
Simon nodded understandingly, then crawled back to his own bed. Jared was grateful that his brother didn't pry. Then again, he knew the other boy was bright enough to interpret why he didn't have the right to tell anyone.
Jared must have dozed off, because the next thing he knew, he lifted his head off of his pillow, and glanced over to Simon, who was also asleep in his bed. He glanced at his alarm clock to check the time, but paid no mind to what it actually read. Even with the overcast skies, it was much brighter out than it had been when they first came back home from the emergency room.
Grabbing his robe from where it hung on the corner of his bed's headboard, Jared quickly put it on and hurried downstairs. He came to a halt at the base of the stairs, when he saw the silhouette of his sister sitting in the grass through the door glass. With a moderate pace, Jared walked to the door. Opening and shutting it lightly, he continued his stride until he kneeled down in the dirt, next to Mallory.
Her hair was clean and dry now, tied up in her usual ponytail. She wore a tee-shirt and pajamas, all underneath her cozy robe. In her hand was her fencing medal, which she was staring at intently, as if she were considering what she should do with it. There was a calming silence between them for a short period of time.
"You hear stories," she said, turning the medal over in her hand. "You don't think it'll happen to you..." She breathed in, then out with her concluding thought, "Until it does."
More silence was exchanged between the two siblings until Mallory's soft, shaky voice broke through.
"I was going to have a baby," she said finally.
There was a pause of silence before Jared outwardly reacted.
"I know," he responded.
"But now I'm not," she continued.
"I know," he repeated.
"Chris was going to be the father," she added, as mutually as she could. It still left a bitter taste on her tongue.
Mallory turned her head to her brother after he didn't respond right away. Rather than giving the same reply, this time he only nodded his head. Breaking eye contact, she looked back down at the medal in her hand.
"I wasn't going to tell anyone," Mallory revealed, her voice even shakier than during her first confession. As soon as the words were spoken, a rage boiled inside of Jared.
"Why, so he could hurt someone else? Hurt you again?" Jared yelled, eyes brimming with tears. "How'd you expect to hide a baby growing inside you from us? How would you have explained that to Mom?"
Mallory recoiled from the boy's eruption, but all she could muster up was a weak whisper, "Jared..."
After he had calmed down a bit, Mallory let out a light chuckle.
"What?" Jared dismayed.
"You've really grown up, have you?" Mallory observed thoughtfully, putting an arm around him and giving him a hug and rub on the arm.
Jared shrugged, still feeling indifferent from his outburst. Mallory stared out into the woods as she began to explain.
"I couldn't remember much at first," she admitted. "And when I started to remember," she began to sniffle, the tears pricking her eyes. "I was scared," her voice quivered. "What would everyone think of me if they knew what happened?"
Mallory sounded very unsteady, like she could break down any moment. "I thought it was my fault. I thought everything was my fault." She managed to regain her composure. "I didn't think anyone would believe me, so I never told anyone. I thought this was something I could hide from everyone and move on like nothing had happened..." Her stare soften in a daze, when she added, "... I didn't know I was pregnant."
Mallory fell silent, and Jared left the still air alone for a bit before letting out a sigh. Then he spoke again, "So what happens now?"
"I'm pressing charges. We'll need to go to court to testify against him. But if nothing comes of it, then I'm leaving J. Waterhouse. I just don't feel safe knowing that he's there."
Jared frowned. "But that's not going to happen, will it?"
"If there's a lack of evidence, it might," Mallory explained. "I know it's not fair, but it might." She could tell that Jared was displeased with her answer. So she offered him a soft smile. "I don't think it will."
Jared looked up at her, surprised. He had forgotten what his sister's smile looked like. He didn't realize how much he missed it. Then he remembered one last thing he needed to ask her. "Are you going to tell Simon?"
"I will," she answered. She was now looking straight ahead again, the medal clutched close to her chest. "Next time I can catch him alone."
Jared stood up and walked back towards the house. Mallory watched him as he did. She couldn't help but smile a bit. The burden she carried for the past several weeks had been finally lifted. There was no reason to run and hide anymore. Her family would love and trust her no matter what the consequences. And that was all she needed to know.
Turning her attention to the medal clutched in her hand, Mallory lowered it to the ground, letting the ribbon rippling down in front of it. Mallory stood back to take in the sight of her fencing medal placed exquisitely on the rich soil. For a moment, she contemplated whether or not this was what she wanted to do. Closing her eyes and taking a calming breath, Mallory then reached forward and raked her fingers through the earth until the glimmering gold was completely covered with the brown particles. Then, she smiled.
Still (adjective) - not moving or making a sound ; (noun) - deep silence and calm; (adverb) - up to and including the present or the time mention.
The End
Author's Note: As stated in "Jittery", I had wanted to write on a subject that I felt was strongly important to raise awareness on. If you or someone you know have been sexually assaulted, please contact organizations such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) - at rainn org, or their hotline number 1-800-656-HOPE. (However, I am not a member affiliated with these networks; my individual opinions are not directly reflective of the facilities).
It's interesting that I decided to write this sequel, since "Jittery" got nearly no recognition at first. Not that I blame the readers- it's a heavy subject to talk about, and I too would shy away from reviewing. A question I had for the longest time was, "Is that why I didn't get any reviews, or is it because my writing failed to achieve its purpose?"
I decided to make this a separate story because I really wanted the first one to maintain the tragic ending; this story is for those who wanted a resolution. And I don't mean to portray Chris as a bad guy. It's just one interpretation. I hope to write a story where he does have a good heart.
29 July 2012