She stood there, away from the others, being caressed by the wind, and observed by the flowers, she stood there and her mind made her remember that mech, his secret smile…secret for everyone, a kind smile, a sincere one that he jealously kept only for her. She remembered how he showed his love in so many ways, his lover caresses, always shy, always wanted, always sincere, she remembered…he was perfect in all his ways, he was all for her…or at least he used to be.

Now she knew it, but she hid it behind a small, weird and hypocrite smile that she kept on her lips for what it seemed to her an eternity, but not any longer, no more, she couldn't hide it anymore, she didn't want to feel that weight over her soul eating her spark, tearing apart her dreams…she didn't want that pain anymore…if she could she would rip apart her spark, if she could she would get lost on her tears, if only she could…

But the cruel destiny or her cruel brother had put her in that space base, for her safety, but she wasn't feeling alive anymore, Megatron…her Megatron was dead , her love, her spark, her soul and her dreams they were gone along with him, they had disappeared from her body leaving her there, alone and broken…without a reason to live for, she was an empty shell, a body without soul, she simply existed but she was nothing, nothing without him, nothing 'till the day she meet him again… but for now she was nothing.

She stood there and longed for his arms, his warm arms, the beating of his spark, always slow rhythmical and beautiful just like him, she remembered his perfume, his optics, everything…and it was painful. She could live without him, accept his death, but she will always remembered how he was, she will remembered what he represented for her: the love of her life, and it would make her feel miserable.

Her sorrow was for that huge love that they had for each other, it was a different love, she was sure about that, it was a special durable and huge love, the kind of love that only exists in dreams, fairy tails or drama novels, the kind of love that everybody look for, that everyone wish secretly, that everyone hate when it disappears, it was a love that lasted fights, wiles, lies, tears, laughs, broken dreams and broken hopes…

And for all this she was crying, she was giving up on life, she was forgetting her obligations as a mother, as a friend, as a fembot, as a commander, she was pathetic, tiny, disagreeable surely for the rest of the team, for all those fembots that were capable to live without the love of their lives, for those other fembots that were stronger than her…but she didn't care, she didn't care about anything now…

She stood there and remembered , remembered everything that she loved from that mech, she remembered all and each one of their happy moments together, she remembered when she met him, when she hated him, when his face caused her repulsion 'cause he was their enemy, he was the Unicron itself, he was the murder and when he went away she was happy 'cause she wouldn't have to walk the same path that he was walking, she wouldn't have to see again that evil decepticon… suddenly she stopped the train of her memories, that thought made her shiver, that idea caused her a kind of pleasure…"what if I hadn't seen him again?" She thought. Well then that pain and sorrow wouldn't exist, maybe she would have been killed by one of Unicron's toys, but that miserable life wouldn't exist and so that she didn't have to face it, she tasted that idea for a moment and then tears started to run down her face, it was impossible, it was so horrible and painful just think about it.

Even if that pain was burning her soul, she couldn't imagine a life without those happy moments that she shared with her lover.

She stood there and let her pain come over, she tried to feel it, get used to it, become its friend and that way get used to its presence, she felt that it was the only way to learn to live without him, if only she had said a last goodbye to him, one last "I love you", one last shy, warm and wonderful kiss to let him know her true feelings, a kiss that let her spark talk to his, a kiss to let him heard her wishes and hopes, if only she had given it to him, if only she had stopped him, kept him by her side, didn't let him go to that stupid sun, but she didn't and now he was gone.

-"Eriel!"- She heard a voice calling her, but she didn't care, she didn't want to let her tears go away, she didn't want to fake her happiness again: -"Eriel!"- said again the voice that was coming from behind, this time she wiped away her tears and turned to meet him, StormJet was looking at her with a gesture of deep sorrow, like when someone is looking a half death person , and again she felt sorry for herself, for her weakness.

-"What's wrong Stormy?"- The young commander asked without making optic contact, she didn't want to see in his optics how she looked.

-"I just wanted you to know that… I'm leaving"- His words were soft and kind, as if he was talking to a little boy:-"Are you going to be 'kay right?"- He asked trying to hide that he was terribly worried for her.

She finally looked up and fixed her optics on his, she slowly smiled and nodded, but that smile made the combiner felt a great sadness instead of making him feel better.

Without saying a word StormJet hugged her tightly , staying like this for a long time:-"You don't have to smile if you don't want to, you don't have to be happy if you don't wish that, be yourself, don't stop feeling what you feel"- He begged her still embracing his friend, she let out a couple of silent tears. She would have never guessed that, she wouldn't even imagine it, that combiner hid inside the ability to read her feelings.

-"Why did he left me? Why?"- She asked him as the pain slowly burned her spark again:–"Why does it have to hurt so much?"

-"I don't know!"- He answered. –"That's why you have to cry…to get along with the pain, without suffering there is no happiness, without pain there is no life, if you don't fight you don't win…you should be strong, please promise me that you will be strong!"- There was a moment of silence, 5 minutes before the answer would have been 'no'…but now she wasn't sure about that, in the arms of that combiner jet, that one who she considered a dear friend she felt that she could make it, that she would be able to face a life without Megs.

-"I will…I'll be strong"- She finally said: -"But just for today…just today let me cry, just for today let me be one of those that get lost on the shame, just today I beg you to let me get lost in my pain, please!"- New tears crossed her cheeks, tears that came out for a renewed pain, tears that came out for those memories that crossed her mind, tears that were coming out for the painful beg she has just asked to him, StormJet didn't answer, instead of that he smiled, and hugged her tightly again, then he hugged her a little bit harder, and they stayed like that for a long time…

4

- "I will be strong…but just for today let me cry!"-

-"Without suffering there is no life…"-