"Here, Captain, Commander." Metal, a relatively older member of the 501st, handed his datapad to Rex, who was showing Ahsoka how to whittle. "Found this on the Net, thought you two might be interested."

"Oh, My Beating Heart?" Rex read aloud. Ahsoka peered over his shoulder.

"What do they mean, Rex-slash-Ahsoka?" she queried.

Metal smirked. "Just read it."

~~~five minutes later~~~

Rex made a sound somewhere between a groan and a strangled gasp. Ahsoka was unhealthily pale. "This is terrible," she exclaimed. "I'm not like this at all!"

"What do they think I am, some child-consuming pervert?" Rex demanded, livid.

"I may be reckless, but I'm not a twit!" Ahsoka ranted. "Nor am I obsessed with boys!"

"I mean, I am younger by Standard, but I've got more experience, I've been raised to fight, I'm a man!" Rex seethed. "I'm a clone, a soldier - not a pedophile!"

"Maybe it's Seppie propaganda, sir," Coric suggested.

"No," Metal corrected, trying - albeit not very hard - to hide his sniggers. "It's honest fan fiction."

"It's trash," Rex declared vehemently.

"It's slander!" fumed Ahsoka.

"Oh, come on," Anakin laughed, coming up. "It's just harmless fun - nothing's wrong with having fans."

"You're quite right, sir," Rex responded, deadpan, and handed the 'pad to his commanding officer. "I think you'd like this story."

Anakin read the summary with a frown of bemusement. "What do they mean, Anakin-slash-Obi-Wan?" he queried.

Ahsoka gave him a pointed glare. "The same thing they mean with Rex-slash-Ahsoka."

Anakin blanched. "WHAT?!"

Cody peered over Anakin's shoulder and grinned diabolically. "Just wait until General Kenobi hears about this," he exclaimed gleefully.

Ahsoka smiled predatorily, showing the tips of her teeth. "I wouldn't get too excited, Cody," she warned. "There's probably some Cobi-Wan stuff out there somewhere."

Rextress may be a toxic relationship, but at least it's not mutual pedophilia - Rex was what, five? -but with the mind and body of a man, and Ahsoka was a young teenager. So whichever way you slice it, Rexsoka is just wrong.