A nice bit of untitled Howard/Vince, from Howard's POV.
A little bit angsty, but by far the fluffiest story I've ever written in my life. Seriously, it's so cute it's almost painful. But don't let that put you off.

I wish I had a title for this, but I totally fail at titles. I'm open to suggestions though :)

I don't own The Mighty Boosh. All that sheer liquid wonderment came out of the mindtanks of Noel Fielding and Julien Barrett. And I love them for it :D

Oh yeah, and pretty please could you review the pants off of this? I'll love you forever... *puppy dog eyes*

First Attempt at Boosh Fanfiction by GeniaWontStopBelievin'

Howard just didn't understand it. He didn't understand what Vince saw in him. Vince was cool and popular, the self-appointed Mayor of Camden, androgynously beautiful in a pointy kind of way ('The Confuser', he called himself). He could have whoever he wanted. So why did he want Howard?

Howard had always been shoved into the background. It was Vince who was the main focus; the Sunshine Person that everybody seemed to love. Everything always went right for Vince. He got all the silver linings and Howard was left with the clouds (ooh, that was a good metaphor. Howard thought he should probably write that down for future reference).

Howard really didn't get it. They were both so different, polar opposites, always insulting each other and he could really hate Vince sometimes. Well, okay, maybe not hate exactly. 'Hate' was a bit of a strong word... y'see, this is what he meant! He couldn't even stay made at him in his head!

Howard and Vince had been best friends since, well... forever. He couldn't remember a time when they weren't together, and he couldn't imagine his life without the electro ponce by his side. No one had really been that surprised when their friendship became something more and the 'Don't Touch Me' rule disappeared. No one was surprised, that is, except for Howard himself.

He didn't even know why Vince fancied him. Vince always, even now, made fun of him for his small eyes (it wasn't his fault, and they were not like belt holes!) and his bad dress sense (there was nothing wrong with a nice, simple bit of corduroy...). Not that Howard really cared about such trivial matters. He was Howard TJ Moon. He had poise and dignity. He didn't flounder about in the Seas of Fashion. But, at the same time, he didn't exactly enjoy being insulted either.

Vince was all about appearances. He was... well, shallow, to put it bluntly. He was so easily distracted, dropping everything when he saw something shiny. Howard was terrified – more terrified than he cared to admit – that someone cooler and better looking would come along and Vince would leave him to his sombre isolation with nothing more than a casual "see ya later, Howard!" for his troubles.

Howard was dragged out of his insecure musing by the sound of Vince himself entering the flat, is cowboy boots clip-clopping on the stairs.

"Alrigh', Howard," he said, throwing off his tight leather jacket.

Howard nodded in response, attempting to smile and failing. Vince sat down next to him, snuggling up close and resting his head on the older man's shoulder.

"Are you sure you're okay, Howard?" he asked. "You seem sadder than usual. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," said Howard. "I'm fine."

"Y'know I don't like seeing you upset," Vince frowned. "Do you want anything? Do you want a cup of tea? Do you want to sort out Stationary Village again? That always cheers you up. Or we can put on one of your jazz records, if you like?"

"No, it's alright. Don't you worry about me, little man," Howard sighed. "And anyway, I don't want you're allergies to flare up."

Vince looked up at him, with his big blue puppy dog eyes full of sincerity. "I don't mind."

"Yeah, well I mind." Howard looked at his hands. He could never think straight when Vince was looking at him like that. "Seriously, Vince, I'm fine."

"Then how come you were just sitting here, staring moodily into space?" the younger man asked pryingly. "Usually you're watching telly or reading your Global Explorer magazine or in a Jazz Trance or something." He sounded really worried.

"I was just... thinking."

"About what?" Vince's childish curiosity could be adorable sometimes. Annoyingly adorable. Howard really didn't want to say anything, but the cuteness radiating off of Vince was overpowering.

"Vince..." he began in a small voice. "Why... why do you fancy me?"

"'Cause you're gorgeous, obviously," Vince laughed.

Howard gave the younger man a 'yeah right, pull the other one' look that was practically dripping in sarcasm.

Vince suddenly became quite serious. It didn't happen very often, so when it did it was doubly alarming. He lifted his head off of the older man's shoulder and looked him square in the face.

"I mean it, Howard," he said without a smidget of dishonesty. "You're well gorgeous. I know that I take the piss sometimes, but that's just out of habit. Y'know I love you really."

"Yeah, I know you do," Howard said sadly. "I'm just confused as to why, that's all."

Neither of them expected the other to become all sappy and romantic when their relationship first started. It would have been weird if suddenly everything was all hearts and flowers and they spent all their time holding hands and reciting poetry to each other. Well, Howard had written one poem, maybe. Okay, okay, two! But sometimes, quite randomly, one of them could suddenly have a burst of sickeningly gushy sentimentality, which the other would never admit to enjoying, even though they kind of did. This seemed like one of those times, and today it was apparently Vince turn to be the soppy one.

"I don't understand what's bought all this on," Vince said. "How can you ask me why I love you? It's not like there some kind of One and Only Reason. I just love you, okay? My life would probably be well boring without you."

Howard sighed despondently. "You say that now, Vince, but what I someone better comes along?"

"Someone better?" Vince said incredulously. "Don't be ridiculous, Howard. There's no one in the whole world I'd rather be with."

It was all so nauseatingly lovely, so revoltingly sweet, but Howard just couldn't believe any of it. Vince took hold of the depressed older man's hand and kissed the back of it softly.

"I know you think I'm dead shallow," Vince said quietly. "And, I'll admit, I've given you loads of reasons to think that. But, out of all the stuff in the world that I couldn't possibly live without, you're top of the list."

"What, even more than your Nicky Clarke straighteners?" Howard asked with a hint of resentment in his voice.

"Yeah, way more," said Vince, resting his head on the jazz maverick's shoulder again. "Even more than my straighteners, and my Joan Jet jumpsuit, and my Root Booster sponsorship, and my Gary Numan back-catalogue, and my Cheekbone Magazine subscription, and my Mirror-Ball suit, and my Jagger shrine. I'd give up all that stuff just for you, y'know. If it was a choice between having all that stuff and being with you forever, I'd pick you, hands down."

Howard smiled to himself. It wasn't everyday that Vince Noir said he was willing to part ways with his most valued belongings. Or any of his belongings, for that matter. Howard could feel happiness welling up inside him as Vince's words echoed in his head. I'd give up all that stuff just for you, 'y'know... I'd pick you, hands down... forever.

"Do you really mean it?" he found himself whispering before he could stop himself.

Vince let out a strained, annoyed groan, lifting his head up from Howard's shoulder once again.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, sounding slightly exhausted. "Of course I mean it, Howard. Now for God's sake, can you please cheer up and stop being so insecure? Honestly, shrimp eyes, you're a bloody nightmare sometimes!"

Howard just laughed, he couldn't help it, and soon Vince was chuckling along with him, snuggling back up against his shoulder and tightly wrapping an arms around him. Howard shifted so he could curve his arm around the younger man's slender shoulders.

"So does this mean you've cheered up then?" Vince asked as his laughter died down.

"I certainly have, sir," Howard replied with a smile. "Thanks, in no small part, to you."

He gently kissed the top of Vince's head, causes the other man to sigh contently.

"Well, us Sunshine People are very good and cheering you dreary normal folks up, y'know," said Vince, kissing Howard's cheek.

"That's certainly a remarkable gift you've got there, little man."

Howard would never question why Vince was with him ever again. Or, at least, not for a very, very, very long time. Sometime in the future, maybe. Because the two of them, as completely mismatched as they were, were made for each other. They had a future, no doubt about it. And even though Howard's vision of the future was shrouded in bleak realism, and Vince's just contained a lot of silver, their futures would undoubtedly be intertwined. Because once Howard Moon made that leap across the physical boundary, it was forever, sir.

Hope you liked it!
Ridiculously fluffy, right? I was the one that wrote it and even I said "Awww!" at the end. That's how fluffy it is.
So glad that I got to use the word 'smidget' too, in context and everything. It's a cross between a smidgen... and a midget. You've got to love Bob Fossil :D

Review, my pretties!

xxx