It was 2 o'clock in the morning. House was laying on his couch and watching TV. He had taken half a box of Vicodin; now he was on the border of hallucinating. But he didn't feel any better. The man was going to grab the medicine again when suddenly the bell rang.

"Wilson go away!" House shouted and poured some pills into his hand.

"Dr Gregory House? It's the police! Open the door!"

"What the hell?" House thought. "What is the police doing here?"

He stood up, limped to the door and opened it. A young policeman was standing on the corridor; but he wasn't alone.

"Dr Gregory House?" the man asked.

"Right in front of you." House answered.

"I'm officer Juan Fernandez." he started talking. House nodded. "The mother of your children died two days ago in lung cancer. I was asked to take them to you. I'm sorry for your loss..."

"You don't have to be. I don't have children." House said and closed the door. Okay, maybe the Vicodin he had taken was more than enough. The hallucinations must have started.

"Gregory House open the door or I'll break it in!" officer Fernandez shouted.

House opened it; he didn't want the policeman to see his pills.

"We can make a DNA test if you want." Fernandez said.

"Yes, that's something I definitely need." House answered. There was a chance of having a kid; he banged thousands of hookers since he was 18.

"Good. I'll see you tomorrow in my office." the policeman said. "The children are going to stay with you until we find out if they are yours."

"Wh-What? No, no one is staying with me!" House was shocked.

"I'm sorry Dr House. That's the rule."

"But what if I'm a murderer? What if I'd kill my child?"

"Just try to." an unknown voice whispered.

"Dr House, you're not a murderer. Now, I have to go. Goodbye!" the officer said. "But before I leave; Dr House, these are your children, Michael and Rebecca House." After he finished his sentence he walked to the stairs.

House looked at the children; actually they were not as young as he thought they were. They were at least 15. And definitely twins. House had seen the boy before. Years ago. In the mirror. The girl was very much like him as well.

"Fernandez?" he shouted.

"Yes?" the man asked.

"There's no DNA test needed." House said. Fernandez nodded and went down the stairs.

"So, do you have food?" the boy asked. "I'm Mike, by the way. But I think that it was easy to figure out. I'm definitely not Becky." House didn't say a word. "What, are you mute?" Mike looked at him. He was definitely a House.

"No, I'm not mute. And yes, I have food."

"Good, where's the kitchen?" Becky asked.

"That way." House pointed to the direction of the kitchen.

The two teenagers went to eat. House rushed into the living room, put his Vicodin into his pocket and walked to the kids.

"You said that you had food." Becky seemed to be angry. But maybe she was just hungry.

"I have food. Look, cheese, nougat cream, Froot Loops and-and... Okay, I don't know what this is but it must be something to eat. It's in the kitchen." House said. Mike started laughing.

"Are there any restaurants we could order from?" Becky asked.

"Yes. What do you want? Chinese, Italian or Thai food?"

"I think I'd like Italian. Mike?"

"Good for me too. I could easily eat a pizza."

"So could I." Becky looked at her father. "Do you want something?" House shook his head. "And one more question. How should we call you?"

"You can call me whatever you want. Usually everyone calls me House but if you want you can say Old Bastard to me." Becky and Mike started laughing.

"I know that we just met, but could-could I call you Dad?" Becky asked.

"If you want to. Gosh, I still don't believe that I have children. How did this happen?"

"Well Dad, if a man and a woman really love each other or a woman needs some money they get naked and-" Mike started explaining but House interrupted him.

"Thank you, I know exactly how procreation works." he said and started grinning. So did Mike and Becky.

"Well, maybe this is not gonna be as bad as I thought it would be." House told the others.

"I hope so." Mike said.

After the pizza arrived they started getting to know each other.

"So guys, how old are you?" House asked.

"Sixteen."

"And when's your birthday?

"December 12."

"And what do you do in your free time?"

"Well, we have a band; I play the drums, the piano and the guitar and Becky plays the piano, the guitar and the trumpet and she sings." Mike said.

"Wow, so you two are some kind of musical geniuses?" House looked admiringly at his children.

"Yeah, kinda. But I don't know where that came from." Becky admitted. She already finished her pizza and just like Mike did before she wiped her mouth into her shirt.

"I think I know it. What do you have in mind for tomorrow?"

"Well, I think that we should pick up our things from our old place and take them over here." Mike said.

House nodded.

"I'm not going to go to work tomorrow. I'll help you."

"Okay, if you want to. I'm sorry but I really need to get some sleep now." Becky yawned.

"So do I." Mike said. "Where can we sleep?"

"You two can sleep in my bed. I'll stay on the couch."

"You don't have to. Becky's gonna take the couch and... Do you have a mattress?" Mike asked. House nodded.

"I'll take that. G'night!"

House walked into his room. He was thinking for about an hour before he finally slept in. He liked his kids. They were pretty much like him.

-the following day-

"House, aren't you coming to work? Open the door!" Wilson was standing on the corridor since more than half an hour. Becky and Mike heard him but they didn't want to let the stranger in. And they didn't want to wake House up.

"Becky, please open the door!" Mike said. He wanted to go back to sleep.

"No way! He's gonna think that I'm a slut!" his sister answered.

"Wanna bet? Twenty dollars."

"Prepare your money Mike!" Becky said and stood up.

"Hey, you slept in underwear? He's definitely gonna think you're a slut." Mike grinned at his sister.

"Fuck off!" she said and walked to the door.

"Hello Cutie!" Becky said and opened the door. Mike started laughing but he stopped immediately.

"Khm, hi!" The man said. "Where's House?" He seemed to be used to find prostitutes in his friend's apartment. "I told him not to bring his... His female friends here. But of course he never listens to me. Why would he? Wait, are you even 18?" Becky started grinning.

"Becks, I think you should put on your clothes!" Mike said and threw the shirt of her sister to her.

"Wait are you burglars?" Wilson asked. "Oh God, is House alive?"

Becky and Mike both started laughing.

"Dad, I think your mother arrived!" Mike shouted.

"What the fuck?" House nearly fainted when he heard what his son was saying. Why would his mother be here? How's he gonna explain this? He walked to the living room. It was not his mother. It was worse; Wilson.

"Wait, did you just say Dad? Is this some kind of roleplay? And a threesome? House what do you think you're doing?! I'm sure that these kids are not 18!" Wilson was really angry.

"Hey Wilson, calm down! This isn't any kind of roleplay. They are my kids." Wilson started laughing.

"Good joke House. You don't have kids!"

Mike walked to his father. He pointed at his own face and then at House's.

"You see?" Mike looked at Wilson. "Hey Becks, come here let's show him that we're twins." He turned to his sister.

"What? How-How is this even possible?"

"Oh hell, do I really have to explain this to everyone? When a man and a woman get naked-" Mike started explaining but his sister cut his words.

"Thank you Mike!" she smiled at him.

"House?" Wilson asked.

"Hmm?"

"What should I say Cuddy? Why didn't you come to work? She's gonna think it's because of her."

"I caught a cold. Bye Wilson!"

"I'll come back after work. You guys have to tell me how this happened. Bye!"