"What the hell, Fatass!?"
Kyle glared daggers at Cartman, hands curling into firsts around the costume he had been putting on.
"Kyle's right, Cartman," Stan offered, "I think the game should focus on the elves this time. The humans always get the spotlight. Let's change it up a little."
"Kahl's wite Cahtman." Eric repeated Stan's words in a mocking falsetto. "Can't you do anything other than kiss your boyfriend's ass? Look, let me explain this to you as simply as possible; when have stupid elves ever been the main characters of a fantasy story? The answer is never. Not in Lord of the Rings, or in the Hobbit, or in Game of Thrones."
"There aren't any elves in Game of Thrones at all, Cartman!" Kyle snapped
"What are you talking about, of course there are! What about all those weird tree people, and that one really short guy?"
"Cartman, that short guy is Tyrion Lannister! He's a central character and also a human!"
"Exactly my point!" Cartman said in a smug tone that made Kyle want to throttle him.
"You're not making any sense." Stan said, a hand on Kyle's shoulder.
"It doesn't matter! I'm the grand wizard: leader of the humans and therefore, I'm the leader of the game, too! So you can't do anything about it."
"No you're not." Stan said, frowning. Cartman blinked, the smile on his face trading places with a look of bewilderment.
"Not what?"
"Not the leader of the humans."
"Dude, what are you saying? Of course I am."
"No you're not," Kyle joined in, "Kenny is." He pointed to the fourth boy who had up until then kept silent, making sure his wig was placed securely on his head. "He's Princess Kenny, remember? That makes him royalty. So by the logic you used earlier, Kenny's in charge."
"Woohoo!" Kenny vocalized, grinning between the three of them.
"What? No! Kenny can't be the leader! Kenny's poor! What does he know about being leader of anything!"
"Fuck you, Cartman!" The blond boy said, now also glaring at the other.
"Yeah! So Kenny what do you think? Can we be the main characters this time?" Kyle asked. But before he could get an answer, Cartman had given Kyle a shove. The jewish boy went tumbling into Stan, sending both of them onto the pavement on their asses.
"Wait! Kenny, don't answer him yet! I have five dollars! If you pick my side of this, all of it's yours."
"Five dollars? Hell yeah! Humans rule!"
"HAH! Suck it, you elven fuck!" Cartman sneered, victorious as his two foes picked themselves up off the dirt.
"Damn it, Cartman!" Kyle howled, cheeks flushing red enough in his fury to match his curly hair. "Fuck this! Fuck you! We don't have to play with you! We'll play out our own story without you! "
"Yeah, screw you, Cartman." Together, Stan and Kyle retreated, determined to have all the fun they could without the others.
"Hey! Where do you two think you're going!? You can't just walk out like that! … FINE! ENJOY YOUR STUPID ELF STORY!" Cartman shouted, then, voice dropping to a quiet mutter, added, "while you can…"