Tumnus was sitting on the beach, staring out at the ocean. His hooves had sunk into the sand and his arms were folded over his knees.
Everyone inside the castle had been eating breakfast when Tumnus had left. Being too absorbed in their meal, no-one had noticed when he had slipped out.
He hadn't been outside long, just long enough to walk down to the beach and then get comfortable on the sand. He had been about to join the Kings and Queens of Narnia for breakfast when he had felt a sudden, over-whelming surge of emotions. Emotions that he couldn't just pack up and shove away in front of everyone. He had needed a moment to himself and that was when he had decided to walk down to the beach. He thought if he saw her face once more he would break down into tears, unable to help himself. Lucy. He muttered her name, tasting it's sweetness on his tongue. Did he dare to tell her how he felt? No, Tumnus didn't think he had the courage. He feared, upon telling her, that she would laugh in his face.
Leaning back against the sand, Tumnus cushioned his head with his hands and watched he clouds pass by overhead. He didn't bother to pick out shapes in the clouds, his mind was too heavy with thoughts. He thought about the memories he wanted to make with Lucy, holding hands as they walked through the garden, sitting together on the beach, watching the sun rise early in the morning. So many memories to be made, and yet Tumnus feared he might not make them with anyone.
Closing his eyes, Tumnus tried to push the thoughts from his mind, but didn't succeed, for the insisted on staying there. Giving up, the fawn let the thoughts wander on their own through his mind, mingling with others and causing chaos and confusion. Sitting back up, Tumnus sighed, for a new thought had popped into his head.
If Tumnus did work up the courage to tell Lucy how he felt, what if she become angry and kicked him out of the castle. That was something he couldn't bear, being away from her. Seeing her and knowing she could never love him was far easier than not seeing her at all. It was a risk he couldn't take.
Tumnus turned his head when he saw a seagull land on the ground a short ways off. Tumnus watched as the bird hopped around, and then stopped and tilted it's head toward the fawn. It was as if he was asking, "What are you doing on my beach?" His arrogant attitude apparent as he strutted around vainly. Tumnus chuckled at the bird, watching as he stopped when his foot caught on a shell. Glaring down at the shell angrily, the bird leaned down and pecked at it fiercely. Then, when the shell made no move to fight back, the bird walked away, chest puffed out like he had won a tough fight. Tumnus's eyes followed the bird as it flew off, heading up and over the cliffs surrounding the beach.
"Tumnus?"
Tumnus heard his name being called by Lucy. He hesitated a split second before looking in her direction, afraid his earlier emotions would surge through his body again. As soon as he saw her walking across the sand toward him, he felt every single emotion, but this time stronger than before.
"Lucy." He whispered her name, knowing she was too far away to hear him.
He could see she was carrying a small picnic basket, and after a short trek across the sand, she was standing beside him. He started to stand up but she shook her head, saying, "No, don't stand." She set down the picnic basket and joined Tumnus. Pulling at the skirt of her dress until she was in a more comfortable position, Lucy asked, "What are you doing out here by yourself?"
Tumnus sighed quietly and replied, "I just came out here to think."
"And miss breakfast?"
Tumnus shrugged. "I wasn't very hungry."
"Well that's a shame." Lucy said as placed her hand briefly on the picnic basket. "I brought some breakfast. I thought you and I could eat it out here."
Tumnus felt guilty for the trip Lucy had taken, carrying the basket when he wasn't even hungry.
After a few minutes of silence, Lucy spoke again, this time her voice held a hint of concern.
"Did you really think you could slip out without anybody seeing you?"
"I thought I could get away with it."
"Well, you couldn't. Everyone noticed." Lucy's tone went from teasing to worried."What's got you so down Tumnus?"
Tumnus didn't look at her, avoiding her eyes. "Nothing. I'm fine."
"No you're not. Tumnus, I can tell when somethings not right with you. Please, talk to me. You know you can tell me anything."
Tumnus didn't say anything, but instead, remained silent. Lucy knew he wasn't going to say anything but didn't want to push the matter.
Changing the subject, she said, "It's a beautiful morning."
Tumnus just nodded, not trusting what words might come out of his mouth.
Lucy suddenly stood up and picked up the picnic basket. Looking down at the fawn, she said,"I'm going to go back to the castle." Her words came out harsh, and a bit irritated, but it was just what Tumnus needed. Gazing up at her, he caught her delicate hand in his own, large one and said, "No, please don't go."
The pleading look in his eyes kicked all irritated thoughts out of Lucy's mind as she sat back down.
"I suppose I could eat something."
"Good, I was hoping you would." Lucy replied, now smiling. She began to pull out food from the basket, handing Tumnus a plate covered in bread and fruit.
"Thank you." Tumnus said as he started to eat a apple. He still wasn't particularly hungry, but he didn't want to upset Lucy again.
Lucy too, began to eat, enjoying the fruit more than her friend.
After they were done eating, and their dirty dishes had been placed back inside the basket, Lucy asked once again, "Are you sure you're alright Tumnus?"
Tumnus looked her in the eyes, and forced himself to lie. It was in that split second that he saw the life he couldn't have with her, and he didn't want to hurt her, so instead, he just said, "I'm fine, really."
Minutes passed by in silence, and even when Lucy turned to look at Tumnus, she didn't say anything. Instead, with a smile on her face, but fear in her eyes, she leaned forward and kissed Tumnus gingerly. He started to pull back in surprise, but then he reached up and cupped her face between his hands, having dropped his apple. For a short moment he wondered if he was daydreaming and suddenly he would snap out of it and it would never have happened. But then he quickly pushed that thought out of his head and just enjoyed the kiss.
All to soon, it was over and Lucy had pulled away. One of Tumnus's hands remained on her face, the other had settled on her hand, which was nestled in the sand.
The look on Lucy's face was that of uncertainty. Her eyebrows were pushed together and her lips stayed in a straight line.
"Why did you do that?" Tumnus asked.
"Well, because I wanted to...I guess."
"But I thought-" Tumnus trailed off.
"You thought what?"
"I thought this day would never come."
Lucy gave a sort of half smile and said, "Are you saying you've wanted this day to come."
"Oh yes Lucy, I have wished for this day for so long."
Lucy allowed a large smile overtake her face as she reached up and brushed her fingers through the fawn's hair.
Tumnus stroked Lucy's cheek with his thumb and grinned.
"Happy thought?" Lucy asked.
"Yes. I just realized you kissed me."
Lucy giggled. "You just realized that?"
"Yes, I'm shamefully slow."
Pulling her hand out from underneath Tumnus's, Lucy turned and opened the picnic basket again.
"Do you think you could force some more food down, I brought desert."
Tumnus winced, understanding that Lucy had noticed his lack of appetite.
"I think I could eat something. What did you bring?"
Lucy smiled and replied, "Berry pie."
"Mmm, my favourite."
"I know, I made it with you in mind. Although I didn't think we would be eating it on the beach."
"What did you have in mind."
"I don't know, I suppose I was going to pull it out sometime after dinner but I think this is a bit more romantic."
"It certainly is."
Lucy pulled out a plate with pie on it and a couple forks. Handing one of the forks to Tumnus, she set the plate on the sand between them and dug in. Tumnus took a bite of the pie and murmured, "This is good."
"MmmHmm." Lucy agreed with him.
When they were full from the pie, they put what remained of it away, and closed the picnic basket back up. Lucy giggled before saying, "We should probably save some for Peter. I know he'll want some."
"You know something?" Tumnus asked as he pulled Lucy closer to him.
"No, what?"
"I love you Lucy Pevensie."
"I love you too Tumnus. More than I've ever loved any of those princes who come and visit. You've always been the one for me."
Tumnus kissed Lucy on the corner of her mouth and then said, "Should we take Peter the rest of the pie?"
