Neon Genesis Evangelion: Divine Intervention

by Eisenstein

Angels, EVAs, Shinji as usual... And a Meddler in 'Godmode? Not quite, for 'Godmoding' gets boring fast... and how do the main characters like being messed with? Especially Gendo? Guest-starring Q as Pen Pen... just kidding. Or am I?

Obligatory Disclaimer: I do NOT claim to own anything mentioned below that is already trademarked or copyrighted by anyone else at the time of this writing.

Anyone intending to get any money from me that way is out of luck anyways.

Ooo

Author's Note:

Originally this was supposed to be just a little romp into insanity, a comedy piece without any deeper meaning.

Somehow it turned into more... but you'll actually see how that comes to be.

It wasn't intentional, it just happened.

The tendencies of characters to run over the author's plans once again are confirmed.

Ooo ooO

God is supposedly defined by being omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and above all omnibenevolent.

Look around. Think about it. Check the news.

Notice a few teensy-weensy little contradictions in that definition?

Ooo

Sanity is an illusion. Reality is a crutch.

Ooo

Everything Happens. Everything. Literally.

Not "for a reason" or something like that. It just does.

Ooo ooO

Location: NERV, during the Third Angel's attack. EVA-01's storage pool.

...

"Don't run away, Don't run away, Don't run away, Don't run away, Don't run away...

... I'll do it. I'll get into it."

[Blinding Flash]

"GOOOD MOOORNING TOOOKYOOO-THREEE!"

Ooo

Everyone who was familiar with this scene – or rather, how it was supposed to play out - would have either screamed in outrage, been completely flabbergasted, or rolled on the floor laughing.

Maybe two or all three, in sequence or simultaneously.

The people actually present, however, were mostly shocked and completely baffled by the sudden appearance of a large, bearded human shape, apparently wrapped only in a sheet, loudly announcing his presence in a very... unconventional... way.

Simply seeing NERV Commander Gendo Ikari stunned and open-mouthed, his orange glasses out of alignment, would have had that effect on most of them, actually.

"HELLO GENDO, YOU UNSCRUPULOUS TOERAG OF A MISANTHROPIC BASTARD!" the newcomer bellowed, unconstrained amusement visible in his face and posture.

"Security breach! Fire! Shoot that... thing," yelled the named man, trying to regain his composure.

Giving in to trained reflexes, security forces swarmed in and started to fill the air – and, as ordered, the white-wrapped stranger – with teflon-coated metal, while everyone who realized themselves in the way ducked and went for cover, leaving the bandaged girl on the stretcher and the boy beside her protected only by a purple-haired woman, who also tried to draw a gun but, according to her expression, had forgotten to keep one on her body.

They were quite shocked when the bullets stopped in mid-air with a distorted, vibrating, metallic buzzing, stuck in two-dimensional, multicolored hexagonal wave patterns.

"An AT-Field!" The thought shot through Ritsuko Akagi's mind, as she desperately dove towards the pool. "But how...? An Angel? Here? Now? And as a man?"

No one, not even Gendo Ikari himself, noticed in all the chaos when the large stranger gave a quick wink to the young boy present, and same young boy, while just as surprised as all others, silently mouthed: "... sensei...?"

Ooo ooO

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Divine Intervention

Chapter 1:

- Angel Of Chaos -

or

- Limitations and Restraint (Yahright...) -

Ooo ooO

"Ah, going to Tokyo-3 too, Ikari-kun?"

The sudden question penetrating the music from his small SDAT-player, Shinji flinched, but raised his head to face the door. A slight, if rarely-seen, smile forming at the sight of the large (and wide) man squeezing through the compartment's door.

"Too? I mean, you're going there too, Yoh-sensei?" he asked, taking the earphones off.

"Well, Ninomiya-sensei is coming back from sick leave, so my short stint as a substitute teacher is over, and I do have some business there," smiled the man as he pulled his bags in and sat down, claiming an almost impolite amount of room while barely not crowding Shinji. If it had been a complete stranger, Shinji might have shrunk into himself and done his best to silently ignore the towering gaijin, but Yoh-sensei was, at least somewhat, familiar to the young boy, as the man had just spent the last few weeks as a substitute foreign languages teacher at the school Shinji was just leaving behind, just like he did with the rest of his former life... the thought threatened to trigger a new bout of slight depression. Still, Yoh-sensei had made no excuses for his stature and openly admitted to the class his slight unfamiliarity with the nuances of japanese culture and apologized in advance for any unintended offenses ("... but not intended offenses, of course." That had actually earned a few laughs.).

Somehow the big, fat gaijin had just leaned on the invisible cultural wall and bent it almost to the ground without visible effort, at least partially.

("Well, I won't force you to practice pronounciation on my name, so let's just shorten it to... say... Yoh Wei. Or Wei Yoh, it doesn't matter any way. You can call me Yoh-sensei or Wei-sensei. Kami-sama, while flattering, isn't necessary, either. (some gasps and irritated expressions) It's just that some people say 'Oh My God' on meeting me for the first time. Just don't expect me to answer to baka-sensei." The first, tentative, laughs.)

Even withdrawn, slightly mopey Shinji had found a few laughs with the foreign teacher. Something had clicked with him and a few others, and instead of closing up they accepted him, at least more than they had expected.

Shinji was shaken out of his remininscing when the gaijin's question rose.

"Excuse me, sensei?"

"I said, actually I've heard about you. You're going to see your father, right?"

"Oh... that. Yes, I think so," the boy mumbled.

"You don't seem very pleased about that... Are there any problems between you? Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to pry, but if you want to talk about it... It often helps, even if only temporarily," the big german apologized. "Especially if it's a stranger you talk to. Why do you think psychologists and barkeeps are so much in demand?" he grinned. Shinji couldn't help but to expel a half-laugh at that.

Then he sighed. "Well, it's mostly... I've seen my father maybe three or four times since he left me with uncle and aunt, and have spoken with him not much more. - And now he just tells me to come," he added under his breath. No reason, no explanation, no apologies. Just "come".

His ex-teacher nodded, a tiny frown on his face. Before the boy noticed, he forced a neutral expression back on. "I guess he's your only parent left then?"

Reluctantly he admitted it. "Yeah, mom died years ago... I can't even remember her face anymore, I think..."

"Oh? No pictures?"

"No." I think something big happened, not even uncle had anything to show, Shinji thought.

The large man pulled out an unworn wristwatch, took a quick look and said: "Well, if you're willing to trust me, I might be able to help you with that a bit... we have just enough time, I think."

"WHAT?" Shinji was shocked. Was his sensei – no, ex-sensei now – serious?

"Whoa! Sorry, didn't want to agitate you. It's just... you've heard of hypnosis, I believe? I don't mean the parlor tricks, where people are made to act like animals, but the real thing. It's used in medicine too, you know." Yoh-sensei fluttered his hands. "A mild state of hypnosis can enable people to focus on things they normally can't. Memories are a typical case."

Shinji was apprehensive. While he liked Yoh-sensei, he didn't know whether he trusted him on such a weird thing. Yoh seemed to notice.

"Actually, hypnosis is not at all like what you usually see in movies or read in fiction. The work is all yours, it depends on your own will and ability to concentrate. I couldn't make you do anything you don't want. Heck, no one can force you to even enter a trance by hypnosis. The trust issue is mostly about you relaxing enough to focus. Think about Zen, if you will... it's close to that kind of thinking. All I'll do is give you something to focus on and help you to enter the right state of mind."

He explained a few more details about hypnosis – mixing in a bit of history and a few jokes about right and wrong concepts – and finally Shinji agreed to try it.

Shinji leant comfortably back in the compartment's seat, his big sensei now sitting right in front of him, bent forward to hold up a gleaming spoon just the right distance from the boy's face, moving slowly while calmly talking him towards total relaxation...

Ooo

"Focus on the reflection... as if you looked behind it... listen to my voice..."

"Try to remember the last time you were happy with your mother..."

A brown mop of hair, a smile...

"Look up in her face..."

Warm brown eyes, a laugh of pleasure...

"Think about the last time you have seen her..."

Ooo

"NOO! AAHH!" No! NO! Not that... what was that... thing?

"Calm down Shinji! Calm, calm, breathe slowly and deeply... don't think about it... it's gone..."

"What was that? What happened? I... I can't remember..." Shinji gasped.

"That's all right, don't worry, nothing happened, everything is all right, we still are on the train..." Yoh smoothly talked to Shinji, trying to calm him, while outside the window the discolored scenery slowly, very slowly, slid along, as it had since Shinji first had entered the trance state.

"Forget all about that, only remember your mother's face, remember she loved you and wherever Yui is now she will always... and it was not evil, it's what your mother made, it was only fear and confusion... nah, better forget that again, too..."

Shinji did forget that last part, as requested, or the rest of the drive would have been somewhat different... but Yoh-sensei couldn't have had that, could he?

Ooo

"Wow," Shinji breathed, finally coming out of the light trance.

"Did it work? Do you remember your mother's face now?" his trusted sensei friendly asked.

"Yeah... I remember a day playing in a garden, and mom picking me up... and a picnic..." Shinji happily whispered, a few tears running unnoticed down his face.

"Good, and it was even easier than I expected. We still have more than half the drive before us," Yoh smiled, leaning back. "You do have quite a talent for focusing. I think autosuggestion could be quite a good aid to your learning."

"Mom... Huh? What do you mean, sensei?" Shinji was still unexpectedly happy, but started to listen again to Yoh-sensei.

"It's actually quite simple. You know the usual motivational slogans? Work hard, do the right thing, always take care and so on? Well, if you manage to put yourself into a light trance, you can focus on such an idea and practically burn it in your mind and make acting upon it almost an reflex. You hypnotize yourself, that's what autosuggestion means. Focus, trance, think 'REMEMBER', and think of an event, and you might recall previously unnoticed details, like a car's license number. Or focus on reading a book while in trance, and you might remember more of it later. Very useful if it's a school text," Yoh-sensei grinned mischievously. "And that's probably just why you'll be so good at piloting – and driving yourself halfways into autism and despair, I always suspected," he didn't say out loud.

Instead he said "With talent and practice, it can be the next best thing to an actual eidetic memory – what people call photographic."

"Wow..." Shinji breathed again.

"Well, judging by how fast that worked just now, the remaining time might be actually enough to give you a few lessons how to do that yourself," Yoh-sensei said optimistically. "And if it isn't, I'll make it so!" he thought with a glance at the scenery outside whistling by.

Ooo

Some time went by, just like the scenery outside the window. If Shinji had focused on that, he might have noticed periods in which the train seemed to stand still, but since 'Yoh-sensei' had focused Shinji's full attention on him during these times, he didn't.

"Well, that worked almost perfectly. You do have a talent for this," Sensei proudly stated.

"Really? I never thought..." Shinji still couldn't quite accept there was something useful (and actually somewhat cool) he could be good at.

While 'Yoh-sensei' had given Shinji a few pointers and awoke a few good memories, he didn't want to actually change the boy's self-image and behaviour – at least, not yet. "Time for that later, for now a starting point is more than enough. He trusts me, that's a good start, if I don't ruin that. He'll be confused enough later, even if I don't do the full act," he chuckled to himself. "It's Gendo and the other headcases I want to really mess with. Now for the harder part... the fun part."

Ooo

"Well, that was a refreshingly fulfilling journey, if I may say so, Shinji-kun," Yoh-sensei exclaimed, satisfied.

"Eh he he he," Shinji chuckled, slightly embarrassed.

"Well, I guess that's it for now... and unfortunately for the forseeable future," Yoh-sensei said. "I don't think Tokyo-3 needs a substitute teacher for English and German at the moment, but who knows... we'll see whether we'll meet again. Now I've got to get going – the people I'm going to meet are the kind who either trample you in the ground you'll have to run roughshod all over them yourself," he added darkly, hiding a grim smile.

"Oh," Shinji said in a small voice. "Yes, I can imagine."

"Oh well, anyone who steps on me will regret it, I think... High probability of slipping on all that lard and falling right on their face." Yoh Wei grimly but self-deprecatingly joked, slapping his own vast body. "And that's the true secret, Shinji-kun," he added, seeing the boy torn between chuckling and horrified at the darkly humorous image.

"If anyone tries to stomp all over you, find a way to slip them up – or stand between the toes, unconcerned."

Shinji had to admit the idea had some merit, even if he never would have expressed it that way.

Yoh-sensei took his luggage and went toward the cab stand, while Shinji walked the other direction and tried to identify the location where he was to meet his 'native guide'.

Ooo ooO

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. What's wrong with this picture, Miss Katsuragi?"

Misato was terrified to hear the Stranger – A human? An Angel? But how did he - know her name. With a neglicient gesture all the bullets dropped from the air – no, not all – why didn't – the HELL?

The sheet-clad – was that supposed to be a toga or what? – man – was he? – patiently smiled at the terrified woman. As she finally looked at the hovering bullets, the wheels in her head actually seemed to audibly rattle...

Unbelieving, she looked around, saw the position of the security forces, the still hovering bullets, Rei and Shinji's position...

"ARE YOU EFFING* INSANE?" she screamed, rage instantly overriding fear, as an audible 'Ping' accompanied her conclusion, itself accompanied (caused?) by a confirming gesture (a kind of 'yup, you're it' finger-pointing-gun move) of the stranger.

"YOU WOULD HAVE PERFORATED ALL OF US TOO, YOU STUPID SHITHEADS!"

*) While I fully believe Misato wouldn't hold back her opinions in such a situation, I'm personally not comfortable with that kind of strong language in some cases, so I'm taking the liberty of slightly censoring such situations. Why? Well, as you have read this far, the answer should be obvious: because I can. (Grins)

Ooo

When Shinji realized what Miss Katsuragi meant, he almost lost it – if the Stranger (could it actually be Yoh-sensei? He looked and sounded similar, but not quite – actually, only half the weight his sensei carried around, but almost the same face, the same kind of short, mouth-surrounding beard... and he had winked at him, hadn't he?) had not somehow stopped the bullets, not only he, but Miss Katsuragi, the girl on the stretcher – Rei was her name? – and himself would have been hit by dozens of shots and killed. KILLED! By order of his own father!

Ooo

Meanwhile, the Stranger nodded at the raging Misato, golf-clapping soundlessly, and raised his attention back towards a silently – and unbelievably impotently foaming – Gendo Ikari.

"AND WOULDN'T THAT HAVE ROYALLY MUCKED UP YOUR PRECIOUS 'SCENARIO', GENDO-KUN?"

the stranger bellowed at him.

"WELL, I DON'T THINK YOU COULD HAVE PULLED A NEW PILOT," Gendo blanched, almost making a shushing gesture, "OUT OF YOUR STICK-FILLED ASS," almost. "THAT FAST, COULD YOU HAVE?"

With visible effort – visible only to those who knew him, of course – Gendo Ikari composed himself instantly. "That doesn't matter," he stated coldly.

"Ice-cold bastard, isn't he?" the stranger muttered, raising an eyebrow in the direction of a certain Doctor Akagi, hanging half on the rim of Unit 01's liquid storage pool and looking somewhat like a drowned poodle. She probably would have preferred a feline comparison, but well...

"OH WELL," the sheeted man yelled, "let's face the facts." He suddenly continued in a relaxed voice of normal volume.

"In more privacy, though, I think. Can't have you have them simply shot for knowing too much, can't we?" With a snap of his fingers, the security forces were – literally – thrown out of the hall, just as the few technicians and other helpers, by an invisible force.

They seemed to slow down on landing, fortunately.

Another quick gesture apparently caused all doors to shut, lock and seal.

Suddenly a loud cracking sound filled the air, and the stranger's head twitched backwards, to the shock of everyone on the lower level – except for Rei, who still was barely conscious.

A cold smile on his face as the sheet-covered man slumped, Gendo Ikari lowered the small pistol he just had fired. But when the man didn't complete falling down dead, the smile froze.

Slowly the stranger started shaking his head, raising his face to his wannabe assassin, a still smoking blemish marking his temple. He rubbed the hit and examined a slightly deformed bullet.

"Okay, that was slightly surprising. I haven't kept the knowledge you had that kind of bullets made, I guess. Can we now stop with these childish tantrums please, you borderline-functioning sociopath?"

Ooo

Misato Katsuragi was – to put it mildly – confused. Whatever the man was, he was not human. Normal humans can't stop bullets with light, or survive a headshot from less than ten meters, they couldn't appear from thin air with just a flash – okay, unless one was a good stage magician – stop, that doesn't help, focus, Misato, focus – hell, normal people didn't even run around with just a bedsheet, and that guy wasn't good-looking enough to make her curious enough to - oh god I need a drink...

Okay, stop, facts. Looks gaijin, north middle european, maybe british or german rather than spanish or norse – or italian or greek, for that matter, even with that robe. Some blemishes on pale skin, somewhat flabby, definitely not the physique of a greek god, fleshy face, too... Early middle age, high forehead, slightly stubby nose, dark hair with a few white strands, smallish brown eyes, towering about 1.90 meters and approximately one hundred kilos, give or take. Heck, except for his entry and his actions, he looked stomach-wrenchingly normal for a gaijin. Would she have seen him on the street, especially in Europe, she probably wouldn't have given him any attention.

But he just had displayed inhuman powers, did know her – and the Commander's – name, and – and had just saved her (still hot) behind (and the kids) from being thoroughly (and lethally) ventilated. Okay, he had caused the danger, too, but he obviously hadn't needed to save her – save them, had he?

Was he an Angel? And – if he was – why hadn't he killed them all... yet?

Ooo

"Oh, and just to expand on that matter – no, you won't kill anyone of those left present, either. Neither Miss Katsuragi nor Doctor Akagi." The stranger calmly added.

"Oh? And why shouldn't I?" Gendo asked sardonically, adjusting his glasses.

"Do you need a reason beyond the obvious?"

With another finger snap, both Gendo Ikari and Kozo Fuyutsuki stood on the same level as the others, stumbling a bit to keep standing. Doctor Ikagi also suddenly stood beside Misato, instantly dried and cleaned, if a bit frazzled around the edges (and, for some reason, her blonde hair standing up to the sides in an approximation af furry ears, earning a slight smile from the apparently omnipotent figure). In a much more serious tone than displayed before, he said:

"You know Power, Gendo Ikari. Know mine, and respect it. If you do, I'll give you the chance to earn my respect."

Then he broke into a jovial tone again and added, "even if it's probably an uphill battle. Heck, as far as I can tell, you'll need to learn moral free-climbing fast."

Trying his best to stay apparently unfazed, Fuyutsuki spoke. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, Mr. Sidekick speaks," the stranger smiled tightly. "Don't worry, Fuyutsuki-san, you might have the same... task... before you. Depending on your actions and intentions from now on, of course."

"Father gets rudely called by his given name, but he's somewhat polite to all the others... what's up with that? If he is Yoh-sensei, why... what the heck did he hypnotize me for? Did he find out something weird?" Shinji thought, putting all of his limited composure in watching, listening, but keeping silent.

Suddenly the bandaged girl moaned in pain.

"Oh. Ouch. Sorry, didn't want to forget you, dear. Rest. Heal. (And learn)," the stranger added under his breath. With a soft wave of his hand, Rei's stretcher... well, stretched out straight, the padding seemed to expand, and the pale girl stopped gasping. While causing a short moment of panic in some of the others, she had just fallen into a relaxed sleep. Or so it seemed...

Ooo

"Ookay, let's see... darn, originally I intended to just pop in and mess all this up beyond recognition. But that wouldn't be more than a moment of fun, wouldn't it? And now I'm investing actual thought in the matter. Drat, self-restraint is hard," the pseudo-robed man muttered, apparently thinking aloud.

"But whom am I telling this, eh?" He raised his face toward Gendo Ikari, who still had an impenetrable look on his face.

"You see, that is the only – the only! – reason I'm willing to give you a chance, Gendo. Your powers of self-control – while not perfect by any means," he gave a hidden, but meaningful look in the directions of Ritsuko Akagi and Rei Ayanami, "are considerable. You have impressed me." He raised a hand and put thumb and finger close together. "Even if only a leeetle bit."

"Ummm... sorry to interrupt, but..." Looking up, Misato suddenly spurted, her eyes wide open in panic. "Don't we still have a rampaging Angel up there?"

"No." Drily.

"No?" Insecure.

"No." Confident.

Ooo

Unbelieving, the support crew in the NERV command and control room stared at the screens where the lumbering Third Angel, barely a mile or two away, found his way blocked by a translucent, shimmering barrier.

"An AT field! But why?" someone of the crew asked loudly.

"Unknown, but - the Angel is NOT the source! Repeat, source of the field is not the Angel!"

"Where does it come from?"

"Unknown! The instruments can't pick up anything except – holy sh...!"

Abandoning its slow but until now unstoppable – ultimately, even the N2-mine had only impeded it for a time – advance, it hesitated, slowly raised a huge, but lanky looking arm and – rather unexpected – softly laid its three-fingered hand against the barrier instead of trying to break through. Only for a few seconds it held contact, the comparatively tiny eyeholes of his doubled mask-faces, both melted and regenerated one, randomly blinking in concert; then it dropped the limb, swayed a half-step backwards and simply stopped.

Final steps for the area's evacuation were rushed, almost the last a couple of kids getting hurried towards the next hopefully safe shelter.

Baffled but desperate for leadership, a tech tried to contact the Commander in the EVA holding area:

"Commander? Anyone? We don't understand it, but the Angel has stopped moving! He seems to be surrounded by an AT field our instruments can't measure! But it's... pattern... registers as - green!"

Ooo

"But..." waffled Misato.

"No. While I'm... thinking... about this situation, Sachiel has been given a... time-out of sorts. I won't be rushed by the big lug. (Enough that he stepped on me before...)," added the stranger under his breath after elaborating.

Misato and Ritsuko looked thunderstruck. "WHAT?" ("Sachiel?")

The stranger threw up his arms. "I thought it actually funny at the time, okay? I wanted to go all Impossible Man on your world. I wanted to turn this sorry excuse of an apocalypse into a kind of slapstick comedy just for kicks, okay? But the longer I spend in this limited form the less fun the thought becomes, okay? If you have to comment on it, better be just thankful for that. I could have done just that, you know?" with a spreading gesture, a globe of light appeared.

Within that globe was a ridiculous scene displaying a decrepit Fuyutsuki wearing a grandmother's shmock in a rocking chair, knitting; a tied up Gendo Ikari hanging feet-up in a tree, plumed in brilliant colors, while a pint-sized and blindfolded Ritsuko Akagi, Misato Katsuragi, a black-haired girl – Maya Ibuki - and a red haired girl – "Asuka?" breathed Misato – were running around, adorned with cute animal ears and tails, swinging huge clubs covered with impressively pointy nails, obviously happily playing pinata with Gendo; while Shinji and Rei, also reduced in age, were sitting on a checkered blanket eating a huge chocolate cake and wearing a good part of it on their faces; in the background a few monstrous shapes seemed to be playing patty-cake. Even Gendo got large eyes at this view. Or maybe he recognized the visored shape being used as a hacky sack footbag by Sachiel and another shape*...

Suddenly, just for a split second, they all were in the scene, being a part of it – and knowing it.

But only for a split second.

"Who – or what – the HELL are you?"

Later no one could remember who had asked, or if it even had been in chorus.

*)Israfel, but no one knows yet

Ooo

Half a world away, about eight timezones westwards, the original red-haired hellion violently started, rudely waking from a comfortable daze.

Unfortunately, after a highly taxing but productive morning acing challenging tests, Asuka Langley Soryu had been napping in the bathtub.

Thus, when she jerked, her feet and backside lost friction and slid along the smooth enameled bathtub, losing contact and gained considerable impulse upwards, out of the nicely scented water, laced with aromatic bathing oils, said feet and shapely legs launching into the - colder - air with considerable velocity.

Unfortunately, Newton's Law being just as cranky as ever, in opposite reaction her other end moved downwards with equivalent speed, resulting in a formidable splash, a thoroughly soaked coiffure and a noticeable impression from the forceful contact between head and enamel, followed by half-drowned sputtering, a long string of choice expletives, the desire for an ice pack (or, preferably, a soothing kiss from a certain someone for her aching boo-boo?) and, ultimately (fortunately?), no conscious recollection of her accident's original cause.

The 'certain someone' implied above, having safely chosen a comfortable chair for his nap, just awoke with a start, blinked, rubbed his stubbled chin and developed a slight craving for fresh watermelon. Junk food apparently caused very weird dreams in some cases, Ryoji Kaji mused.

In the NERV command center, Maya Ibuki, still nervous about the unexpected communications blackout to the EVA Unit's hangar, especially with her mentor on- site, flinched, blinked, giggled and made a mental note to look for a (work-safe) catgirl screensaver. Or something similarly cute. Maybe, if she survived the day, she would take the time to design her own?

And Lorenz Kihl doubled his Aspirin consumption after a moment of precognitive dread, while in an LCL tank on a monitor he wasn't watching a few bubbles rose.

Ooo

"That's a – actually a very good question. I'll try to give you an answer you can understand, later. For now... this body I'm using, with just a few minimal adjustments, has spent some time here under the name 'Yoh Wei'. I. If you like, you can call me that for now. For a certain reason, I find the name extremely fitting. Just apply a little pronounciation shift and some of you should quickly comprehend why," the finally (re-)named Yoh Wei said with a meaningful glance to Gendo and Kozo, who with only a moment's thought catching the implication, visibly blanched.

Shinji, on the other hand, upon hearing that statement, made a face as if someone had given him a little pet for his birthday, only to have it skinned alive and put into a blender (or even worse) right before his eyes only a few hours later, just when he had become attached to it.

"The body he's using... using... a body... NOO!"

In short, a look of such pain not even his father could have caused him.

"(Oh crap. I'm bluffing, I'm bluffing, Shinji! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, don't panic, everything is good, I'll explain later, it's only a kind of bluff!)" suddenly a voice sounded in his hea- heart? A familiar, if almost panicked, voice, but as he felt the definite impression of someone caring he calmed down. Maybe even that was caused by this strange version of – maybe – Yoh-sensei, but still...

He had the 'fact' that someone cared hammered into him, so he calmed down.

But, subconsciously aided by the freshly-learned quick lessons on mental focus, he started to actually think, unknowingly and surprisingly tapping his parentage for the first time in that way. And he was not liking his conclusions.

No one else seemed to have noticed the little interplay – at least not the adults, who now included Ritsuko Akagi among the pale faces.

"Erhem. Well, I'll try to be frank with you. Drat, that stupid joke is almost impossible to resist. Almost. Sorry, feeling a little frazzled myself. I'm sort of pulsing my consciousness right now do stretch the Limits. AH, that's better. Okay, becoming serious again. Sorry for the inconsistency," Yoh Wei blabbed.

Then he took a deep breath, focusing again.

"Okay, first thing: Everything happens. And I don't mean the cliché 'for a reason', I mean it literally. Everything anyone can imagine, somewhere, somehow, somewhen, in some way it happens. Parallel world theory, anyone?"

A probing look to Dr. Akagi, who, while still a bit pale, nodded.

"Now follow the concept to its logical extension. E V E R Y T H I N G happens. Think about it. Try to think of the magnitudes involved. No, really. Try to put a few zeroes more into it. And now try to imagine that. Nice try. Now keep that image in mind and try to imagine you can imagine even more. No, not directly, just imagine you could imagine that, just to get a slight feel for it. Good enough for now." He took another deep breath.

"And now imagine this more-than-infinite magnitude of a concept being aware. Can you do that?"

"That would be... God?" Misato breathlessly whispered.

"Almost. I see the cross you wear is not completely for show only," Yoh Wei smirked, feeling the need for a bit of levity to break the tension.

"There's just a teeny weeny little conceptual problem left. I guess the easiest way to explain is this: When did you last converse with the nail on your left pinky toe?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Shinji splurted, suddenly making himself known again to people who had almost forgotten his presence.

Yoh Wei turned towards him, face serious. "It means omnipotence, omniscience, omnipresence and omni-benevolence are, in a way, mutually exclusive."

"I knew it!" Gendo burst out, uncharacteristically.

"No, you didn't. You believed it. That's a HUGE difference. Now shut up, I haven't even begun with YOU." Yoh Wei coldly stated.

"The point is, the farther your consciousness expands – I'm still trying to simplify here, but I have been told I have a knack for that – the less aware you become of the details. Once your perception passes a certain limit, you, simply said, stop caring. Omnibenevolence becomes a meaningless concept - from that viewpoint, at least." He stopped for a moment.

"But just to put your mind to ease, Katsuragi-san, if there is something out there that is all the things that define THE God, I'm simply not aware of it – or, to be as honest as I can, just now I'm not aware whether I've ever been aware of it." Misato had gotten a strange look in her eyes, but the addition by Yoh seemed to calm her a bit, even if it also confused her a bit more, trying to decode that statement.

"BUT, before everyone here starts with an atheist's march of pride," a sharp look to the main instigators of the Human Instrumentality Project present, "there are beings who transcend your normal perceptions of space and time. I'm living – so to say – proof of that. But I mean besides me. I'm just the one guy who decided to limit himself enough to meaningfully interact with you – okay, as I said before, who intended to mess with you and meddle with your little speck of a world and its Apocalypse-in-Progress. And I never said I intended not to do that at all, in fact, just now I'm doing that still," Yoh Wei smirked again.

That brought the audience back to so-called reality – hard.

"Urhm," Gendo coughed, "and what is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, he dares to ask. Very well, Gendo. Know this: Your world, your plans, your situation here – it is all known to me. I have seen your little scenario play out in an infinity of variations. And most are an abomination to me!" Yoh Wei thundered, his eyes suddenly glowing in spectral light.

"You have taken something positive and twisted it into something unrecognizable. In almost all variations there are you became the most hated and disgusting thing left in the end. And even when you succeed, you fail, for in your single-minded obsession you forget the one thing that would have made it all worthwile, that would allow one to understand and forgive you. I'll tell you later, but think about it. I have heard Fuyutsuki here sometimes try to remind you – when the roles haven't been reversed and he was the instigator, of course. Yes, a few times that has happened, too... or will have happened," Yoh Wei turned and gazed upon them all.

"Even you, Shinji... in the fullness of possibilities, there have been variations in which you, as you are now, instinctively knew more about what your father here is planning than he did there. Variations in which you grasp at straws and succeed, variations in which you plan and scheme, variations in which you trust your heart and let it guide you, variations in which you despair but still succeed in the end, no thanks to him. But yes, also variations in which you all ultimately fail."

He paused.

"I have decided."

Everyone held their breath.

"I could just go, leave you with what I just told you, and watch you muddle through, succeeding or failing. I could do what I have shown you, or something similar, and just take over. But that would be neither fun nor fair. Fairness is, just like honor, about living with your choices. That applies to me, too.

"Choices are what defines being, what describes consciousness, choices are what creates the Everything. You get to keep your choices, or rather, your ability to choose.

"But. I will meddle. I will limit myself. I won't just wave my hand and destroy the Angels, because your struggle defines you. But I also won't just destroy your world. You will have what almost all variations in space, time and relative dimensions have, had and will have. Choice and Chance.

"I want to see whether you can grow beyond your current roles enough and in time to make a difference.

"I will try to nudge things according to my whim, I'll freely admit to that. But I won't force any one of you to just 'do' something. I will," Yoh Wei grinned – no, smirked, once more, "advise."

"WHAT?"

No one remembered later who had or hadn't asked, either.

"I will appear to any of you whenever I wish, wherever I wish. I may appear openly, or in disguise, maybe invisibly. I will know whatever I want to know, but I may just simply ask, too. Which probably will mean the question itself is supposed to make you think. You won't be able to harm me unless I accept it – and even if you could, I'd just come back unless I bore of it. I'll just talk to you. I'll try to show you your choices and their consequences a little more clearly, but I won't insist... too much. Mmmaybe I'll bend or even break my own rules, but I'll try not to.

"But the heart of the matter is I'll test you. Even if you think I have told you the opposite I do care for you. Yes, in some way even for you, Gendo. Let me just say some of you will have it harder than others. Oh, and I may include more people than you present here. I guess I might even check if some of the 'old men' are salvageable.

"In some way it will be a test of morals, but let me say this: so-called good or evil is not what I'll be looking for. It may well be what you now think evil results in a passing grade from me. Or it may not. We'll see. Heck, you probably will think of me heartless and cruel, and you may well be right.

"But I will not indiscriminately save or destroy, that will be your Job.

"Oh, as long as I think you can 'win', I will care; and should anyone of you die, I will tell them their 'grade' just in time. I hope that is something you can look forwards to."

Yoh Wei took a break to breathe – whether he actually needed to, was anyone's guess, but probably not - but before anyone could interrupt, he continued.

"If you want to honestly ask me a serious question, I will try to answer it and clearly state if I won't – or can't, it is possible to construct unanswerable questions – and may well tell you why, too.

"Oh, and I do play favorites, and the opposite of course, Gendo. Just keep that in mind. You have, hmmm... three minutes before I release Sachiel from his time-out, once I leave here. I'll give each of you something to start, but if anyone gets greedy, I'll count it against your three minutes of grace.

"Let's call it Project Evangelion: Divine Intervention!"

Yoh Wei's final grin was positively fiendish.

Ooo

Suddenly, everybody was in the same position they were in before Yoh Wei appeared for the first time. The only difference was that everybody seemed frozen in position, except for...

"Hello, Gendo. I guess I'll start with you, since I think you'll have the most need for it." Yoh stood behind the Commander of NERV, in a mirror pose to Fuyutsuki's usual position.

"You have picked on me the whole time, I must say," Gendo Ikari drily commented, staring stiffly forward.

"Ah, at least I seem to have shaken your sense of humor loose. I'll chalk that up as a success, if you can keep it up. Well, after hearing my tirade, do you have a definite question or shall I just tell you something?"

"Actually... yes. You said, several times I believe, that there is a serious flaw in my scenario I blinded myself to. What is that supposed to be?"

Yoh actually nodded with a spark of respect at that.

"You are sharp, in spite of all your other failings. Well, let me put it this way: Your scenario is targeted towards ultimately reuniting you with your 'dead' wife, Yui, isn't it?"

"Yes," Gendo admitted through clenched teeth.

"You loved her, love her still, and your joint project originally was aimed to destroy the Angels and either prevent Third Impact or use it to gain some kind of immortality for mankind, am I right?"

"Basically, yes, you can sum it up that way," Commander Ikari admitted, clenching his gloved hands on the railing.

"Close enough for government work, as they say. I'm just happy I didn't keep the wrong world's history with me. Back to the point.

"While Yui was physically alive, you three were a happy family, weren't you? You a – more or less - caring father, Yui a doting mother, and little Shinji made it all complete. I didn't miss something?"

"No. We had our... idiosyncrasies... but we were mostly happy, yes." Unbelievably, the stone-cold bastard actually had a tear escape his clenched shut eyes.

Yoh, having forgone most omniscience already, was surprised to sense it real, not an act. "Maybe it really isn't too late for him," he thought.

"In that case – and here, finally, I present to you the whopper you were asking for – can you already guess what I'm getting at?

"Yui was – is – a mother.

"If you do succeed and rejoin with your wife, what do you expect her to think about what you have done to her son and are – or were – prepared to do to him?"

Ooo

"Hello, Dr. Akagi."

"I'm surprised to hear you being so polite now, even if I can't see you now. You meant 'invisibly' literally... But you were... different just a moment ago. Even if you seemed to have stopped that moment, as it seems..."

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. More what you expected? Heh, don't try to sugarcoat it. You think I sounded deranged, insane, bonkers. And, in a way, you are completely right."

"Wha-?"

"Dr. Akagi, I am a pandimensional being. In a way, the Angels have more in common with me than you, even if I remember starting as a single human, on a single earth, as normal as you can imagine."

"Wha-?"

"Heh, sorry, I actually did not intend to confuse you. What I meant is I was still reducing my focus, altering my perceptions, to perceive all of you as you deserve it. Which can be indistinguishable to an outsider from a delirium or psychotic episode."

"Deserve-?"

"Okay, now you are just being silly. I told you I wanted to meaningfully interact with you all, and that requires me to adapt my mentality, my perception to the level humans experience as 'normal'. Mostly. And don't insult yourself by calling that process 'dumbing it down'. Omniscience doesn't equal super-intelligence, in fact, it practically precludes it."

"Now that I would like to have explained."

"It's incredibly simple, you'll probably want to chew your cigarette up once you understand. What is intelligence, as you understand it?"

"... I say: the ability to recognize and understand problems and coming up with a solution."

"Good, just the kind of definition I expected from you. Now think. Omniscience. You know everything about everything. Where is the problem there?"

"What, there isn't one."

"Exactly."

"Wha-?"

"Think, Dr. Akagi. There is no problem. Literally. How can one learn to solve a problem if the solution is already known?"

"oh," she said in a small voice.

"Just so."

"Then how..."

"Heh. As I said, I remember starting out as a more or less 'normal' human being. Learning to think and all as normal. The pandimensionality came later."

"But how..."

"Ah, ah, ah. That falls into the area of 'can't or won't answer'. But it is connected with the principle of 'Everything Happens'. Let's keep it at that."

"I guess I'll have to live with that."

"As long as you do live."

"Wha- You are enjoying making me stumble over my own questions, aren't you?"

"I'd be lying if I would deny a certain amount of amusement," the voice commented drily.

"So happy to amuse you."

"Ah, that's still something I always liked about you, you usually do display a certain sense of humor. At least before the darkness rises."

"... That refers to Everything Happens again, right?"

"Unfortunately. I told you I intend to advise. If you are willing to listen, I could tell you a bit about this."

"... I think I can see where that is going."

"And you are not ready yet to listen."

"... No, I don't think so."

"I'm sorry. We'll talk later... I hope."

Ooo

Shinji found himself in a classroom, facing the blackboard. Just beside him on a desk sat the massive shape of 'Yoh-sensei', just as Shinji had been familiar with, all sumo-sized, wrinkled suit and short-bearded. But not as jolly as often before. Not the same. Never again.

"Hello, Shinji-kun," he said, his voice warm but without levity.

"You lied to me." Shinji tonelessly said.

"Yes, I guess so. Sorry, but I had not yet set the rules you just heard."

"You made me like you. And then you made me think you were killed. And that is supposed to help me?" Shinji's voice quivered.

"I tried to apologize. I never wanted to hurt you. I simply did not realize in time what you would hear from what I said."

"You just played with me. With my mind too, I think." Shinji had worked it over and over in his mind during the last few minutes.

"No, far less than you think. I admit I... tweaked things a bit, but everything I told you was... technically... true, in a way."

"And that is supposed to be advice? Hah. Was there anything genuine about 'Yoh-sensei' at all?" Shinji actually sounded bitter, accusing, almost angry.

"More than you think, Shinji. More than you think," the big man mused, gazing beyond the classroom walls.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Turning toward Shinji again, he offered: "I'll tell you, if you want. I didn't tell Dr. Akagi, if that means anything to you."

"Why should it?"

"(Sigh) Because she is a brilliant scientist, and I refused to tell her?" he rolled his eyes.

"You're just confusing me."

"Not my intention."

"And...? Come on, you said you wanted to tell each one of us something, just tell me and get it over with."

"No."

"So you lied again."

"No. I want to tell you, but right now you don't want to listen."

"Does it matter?"

"You betcha."

The incongruous comment broke up the clipped flow of the exchange.

Shinji blinked, uncomprehending.

"Shinji, please. Try to forget the scare I gave you, it really was just a mistake. Yes, I can make mistakes, and I did. Please, try to see me as 'Yoh-sensei' again, even for just a minute," Yoh Wei practically pleaded.

"How can I? Not only did you say that stuff about 'that body you're using', no, you also had to joke about that Angel-thing stepping on you... and you even left with having told just that other stupid joke about getting stepped upon, and then the first thing about that Angel-monster were when it stepped on a cab right when Katsuragi-san picked me up... Hell, I don't even know what happened after that anymore! It HURT, damnit!" Shinji almost raved.

"(Sigh) Okay, that was a bit much, but, well...," 'Yoh-sensei' grinned suddenly, "At least now I know what you should know what you have to look out for."

"What-?"

"The right angle for pratfalls."

Taken aback by the sudden shift in tone, once more breaking up the expected conversational cadence, the boy could only come up with one reply.

"That's not funny."

"Yes it is. Believe me. Unless you are very careful, you'll understand soon."

"What is that now supposed to mean?"

"You'll see, I expect. You'll see. Probably several times, even. Now you only have to decide whether you're going through with it," Yoh-sensei dropped the implication of an inside joke and turned serious again.

"Fighting the Angel," Shinji stated tonelessly.

"Yes."

"So you do want me to just do what my father wants me to," he accused.

"Not quite. I want you to decide whether you want to do what he should have asked, not told, you to."

"Just let that girl do it. He cares about her more, and you healed her anyway."

"No, I didn't."

"But..." Shinji was shocked. Even with the relevation of his former teacher's true identity, he had not really expected such a callous-sounding comment.

"I only took her pain away, and even that only for a while. I said I won't indiscriminately save anyone."

"But..."

"When the effect wears off, she will be in the same pain as before. Possibly worse, since I did relieve it for a while. If the pain suddenly returns, she might well feel worse than before."

"Can't you just..."

"I could make your father love and respect you. Would you want that?" Yoh Wei fixed a sharp gaze on Shinji.

"... no."

"Why?"

"It would be fake."

"So?"

"I have already given in, haven't I?"

"Well, you had agreed to pilot just before I plopped in. You saw what the Evangelion did, it protected you. If you try, you will be able to pilot it, I'm certain. You just have to decide."

"... I guess I will do it, then."

"Very well. In that case, there are a few things I can say to you now."

"What?"

"First, think about fear. Whether you want to or not, fear is natural. Do you remember our little discussion last week?"

"... the Fight or Flight Instinct, right?" Shinji asked, remembering a short digression during an optional lesson in German from that time.

"Yes. Instinct. If the fear overwhelms you, trust in this: you can not flee. If you flee, you lose. You can still lose, and die. Go with the fear and ride it like... no, you don't surf. A crescendo. If the fear makes you lose your rhythm, play so fast you don't have time anymore to think about the rhythm."

"You don't actually play music, do you," Shinji drily asked.

"Eheheh... guilty," Yoh-sensei admitted, embarassedly scratching the back of his head.

"Well, I do understand what you meant, at least. Anything else?"

"Second, ... no, actually not. Okay, let me just say I meant what I said earlier. Third, I do like you going into this upset with me more than just being bullied into it."

"There's a difference?"

"And it's a big one. And lastly: why do you think your father would care more about Ayanami than about you? No, don't answer that now. Just watch her, watch your father, think about it. Visit her. Try to talk to her. Don't force it, but don't give up too fast either. And once she gets rid of all these bandages, maybe you will see something you can't see now."

"I don't know..."

"Just be observant. And watch your feet."

Ooo

White emptiness.

"Hi Misato. Or shall I keep calling you Katsuragi-san?"

"Where are you? What do you want from me?" Misato whirled around, wildly looking around, her arms wrapped protectively around her chest.

"Oh, sorry, apparently I tried to be... too clever."

Slowly the former background began to fade in, just as the robed Yoh Wei; the background stayed slightly translucent, only the man becoming fully solid and animated.

"Better?" he asked.

"Why do you care anyway? You're just playing with us, aren't you?"

"Well... yes and no," the man - or monster? – replied.

"Oh great, riddles too," Misato bit out.

"Nope, no riddles. I play with you in the sense that I'm here now and decided to meddle. I'm not playing with you in the sense that I set rules I intend to keep, and that I do care. I'm playing with you now, not playing with you. Believe it or not, it's the truth. Besides, you are one of the people here I respect."

"Now I know you're joking. You? Respect me? And I'm supposed to believe that? Hell, not even command actually respects me, they just needed a pretty window dressing with connections to the..." she trailed off.

"Second Impact. I know."

"Yeah, how could you not?"

"I could... no. No jokes about that. Sorry."

"What would you be sorry for?"

"I could be just sorry for confusing you. Or for the pain you have lived through, and might still. I didn't cause it, but I did nothing to stop it, either. And I won't, too."

"Now that is something to be sorry for," Misato said, somewhat bitterly.

"Think about it. Would you want me too? Seriously?"

"Why not? My father would have been alive, billions of other people..."

"But you might as well be dead."

"WHAT?"

"If I would change that, everything changes. Yeah, Misato Katsuragi would have her father. Who might have forgotten his daughter completely over his work. You have seen Gendo relating – or better said, not – to Shinji. I don't say he would have become like that, but I see the possibility.

"Yeah, you wouldn't have been in hospital, not for that reason at least, but you also might have never become the person you are now. It might have been that you would be now happily married, with children. You also might be an early college dropout, trapped in a loveless, static marriage with an abusive husband. You might have been a traveler, a sports star, a celebrity... but just as well a drifter, a starving artist, a streetwalker... or just dead.

"The possibilities are endless. Literally. In any case, you would never be the Misato Katsuragi standing before me right now."

"But billions of people..."

"Instead of Second Impact, there could as well have been a World War Three. Who is to say that would have cost fewer lives?"

"Or not."

"Or not. But it also wouldn't actually change anything anyways."

"... Again, what?"

"I told you. Everything happens. If I changed your world, make Second Impact not happen, somewhere, somewhen it still would have happened, everything would be just like here and now, the only difference being the Misato Katsuragi there would never have met me, and you would live the fate you would have shaped without Second Impact, blissfully unaware of ever having met me, because you would never have been here at this moment in time, because NERV wouldn't exist either."

"My head hurts," Misato said wryly.

"Heh, mine feels as if it should."

"But..."

"Misato, I. am. here. and. now. I have become a part of your world for now and left almost all of that omnipower stuff 'outside'. And at least as long as I am here, I do care. And I do care about you. And that. is. not. a. lie." Yoh Wei the Incomprehensible practically hammered his sincerity into his words.

"Wow."

"Heh. That's more like what I expected of you, I think," the pseudo-god grinned.

"Still, it's a lot to take..."

"Yeah, but you can take it, I believe."

"What did you mean by respect, by the way? What do I have to offer that a pandamoniac being from beyond can respect? Don't you have women out there?"

God laughed. Loud. And heartily.

"Misato, just that question is a fine example for what I always treasured about you. You do care. You have heart. As long as you don't completely lose your heart or drown your zest for life in darkness, you'll always have at least a little of my respect, no matter what you do."

"... Thanks a lot."

"Heh, I just try to be precise. If you were some kind of corrupting hellbitch, but still able to see some joy in your and others' life, I'd still respect you for that (and I do). More than if you were a nurse, if said nurse had lost all heart and just mechanically fulfilled her duty, no matter how precisely, with no empathy left for others."

"... That was weird."

"Heh, ask me about it. Better, don't."

Misato opened her mouth to ask or complain, but after a half second or so she just closed her mouth again and shut up, but she did look a bit contemplative.

"Feeling better now?" the man who might as well be a god asked softly.

"Actually, yes. I'm not certain whether I got all that right, but I'll try to think about it."

"I don't expect more than that for now."

Ooo

"Wark"

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted to take a break."

"Wark"

"Yeah. I'm not certain, actually. But maybe you could be a little less annoying to them this time?"

"Wark"

"I guessed so. Okay, not even if someone actually asks, promised."

"Wark"

Ooo

Hello ([acknowledgement]), Sachiel ([identity]).

Is ([query]) it ([curiosity]) time ([expectation])?

Yeah (affirmation), I ([identity]) guess ([insecurity]) so.

I ([identity]) am ([presence]) here ([position]) now ([confirmation]), waiting ([expectation]).

You ([identity]) already ([expectation]) know ([information]) what ([concern]) will ([expectation]) happen ([event]), don't ([doubt]) you([identity])?

It([event]) is ([presence]) expected ([confirmation]). Someone ([identity]) has ([duty]) to be ([event]) it([identity]).

I ([identity]) see ([acknowledgement]).

"Just once, I'd like to see a scenario when the big lug isn't unavoidably the first pilot's teething toy and the world still stands afterwards... I do feel a bit sorry for him."

Ooo

"Hello, Rei."

Her one visible eye closed, she just acknowledged the voice, able to focus without being distracted by the pain. "You took your time."

"You could tell? I'm impressed."

"Is that not the purpose of this exercise?"

"Not quite."

"I see. I need clarification then," she stated.

"No."

"How am I supposed to act without..." her eye opened in confusion, only seeing a towering shadow at her side.

"On your own initiative."

"But..."

"This is beyond Gendo's orders and his pretty convoluted scenario. Maybe, if he got it, he's already changing the scenario. If not, you have to decide. No, I guess first you have to learn how to decide. Rei, I enabled you to listen. Did you understand?"

"I am... uncertain... of what is expected of me," Rei admitted haltingly.

"(Sigh) He really did a number on you, didn't he..." the shadow murmured.

"I do not understand your meaning."

"It's not yet that important. Rei, you know what initiative is, don't you?" he queried in a no-nonsense voice, prompting her typical reaction to the impersonal tone.

"Deciding on a course of action to fulfill the objective," she cited the textbook definition she had been given.

"Well, it's a start... Rei, you are aware I'm already fully informed about all aspects of the scenario as it stands now?"

"I inferred as much from the conversations I was able to follow."

"Good. You are aware of your ultimate role in that plan?"

"I am supposed to enable Commander Ikari to select the time and manner in which the scenario concludes."

"Interesting choice of words. Do you want to do that?"

"... I do not understand."

"Rei, you are able to experience pain and discomfort," he stated, tone not questioning, but clear in that he expected confirmation or denial.

"Affirmative."

"Do you like pain?"

"... I do not understand." While the question was of simple structure, the key concept was unclear.

"Not experiencing pain is preferable to experiencing pain, is it not?" he clarified, guiding her to a path of argumentation she should be able to follow.

"Pain impairs my effectiveness." Simple truth, undeniable fact.

"So?" He prodded.

"Not experiencing pain is preferable." Rei was forced to admit.

"So?"

"I... do not... like... pain." Rei hesitatingly concluded.

"Rei, fulfilling the scenario will most probably lead to a large amount of pain and discomfort," Wei argued.

"But concluding the scenario will end all pain."

"Will it? Are you certain?" He still poked at her resolve.

"The Commander has planned it so."

"And you trust Commander Ikari."

"Yes."

"But Commander Ikari as he is now causes unnecessary pain."

"But..."

"Rei, I can't make you learn, but you can learn. Think about what Commander Ikari has done until now. Watch the reaction of others to his behavior, in word and action, and evaluate them. You have confirmed pain is not a preferable state compared to no pain. Keep that fact in mind and evaluate on that basis. Learn to recognize emotional and mental pain. I do acknowledge pain may be necessary in some cases, but it should be obvious that, when in doubt, a solution that causes less pain overall is the better result. That calculation includes your own pain! If necessary, ask for information, but be cautious when and who you ask until you learn to better evaluate subtle clues, especially nonverbal ones."

Rei was still confused, but tried to focus on a key concept put to her.

"Nonverbal clues... I am unfamiliar with making use of that concept."

"I know. That's why I advise you to learn about it. If you want to improve yourself, try also referencing the keyword 'body language'. The school library should have a few books regarding that topic. Take special care to comprehend references to 'embarassment', 'privacy' and 'tact'. Will you do that?"

"The Commander... seems to have... acknowledged your... superior position. So I will take... your advice... under consideration," she haltingly pushed herself to conclude, following the argumentation forced on her.

"Good. I recommend using persons familiar with you, but outside of your direct chain of command, for referential questions. I expect Captain Katsuragi and Commander Ikari's son to be... adequate... as long as you ask pertinent questions in relative privacy. Once you have more... experience... in evaluating social situations, you will be able to better judge social situations, which is the purpose of this exercise. And remember, especially in the beginning, it will be difficult to get meaningful answers, because you won't yet know how to ask the right questions. Take that into consideration, too. Do you understand the advice I'm giving you?"

"I believe so. I am to gain training in recognizing and evaluating nonverbal clues, learn body language, embarrassment, privacy and tact. I need to gain experience to recognize and evaluate social situations, and questions for clarification should be adressed in relative privacy – I shall need to reference that concept first – to persons familiar with me, but not overburdened with duties. Captain Katsuragi and Shinji Ikari are recommended sources. Am I correct?"

Finally able to categorize the conversational elements into the familiar areas of 'briefing', 'orders' and 'training' she tried to summarize her comprehension.

"Yes, I think you've got it. Oh, I need to elaborate on recommending Shinji: Since he has similar limited experience in social interactions, he is not necessarily a source for detailed information, but a good object for reaction testing and comparison as well as, if necessary, partner in practice. When necessary, he most probably can recommend a type of person questions can be directed to. I think that is all for now. If necessary, you can also direct questions to me, but I would prefer you to minimize the necessity, since you are supposed to learn to evaluate normal humans. Asking me would be kind of using a cheatsheet in school."

The elaborations on the purpose of the Commander's son not fully understood, Rei still recognized the last item mentioned.

"I do not use a cheatsheet," she stated.

She didn't actually learn much in school, either, but that seemed irrelevant to the purpose of her new mission.

"But you understand the concept of a shorthand reference. You can learn from it, but shouldn't use it in actual tests.

"Asking me will often lead to very detailed information, but might hinder you in the practical application of your training."

"I understand," she claimed.

"Good. Now I am sorry, but I have to remove the pain blockade I set up in you to enable natural healing. If you can, return to sleep to accommodate that. Prepare yourself."

Sleep would be... preferable. The pain... not so much.

Ooo

"Kozo Fuyutsuki. What am I going to do with you?"

Smoothly finding himself in the position he had been before all this started, the gaunt man turned around to face the mysterious Yoh Wei, now clad in rugged clothes, civilian on first impression – boots, jeans, aviator-styled leather jacket - but his experienced eye noted a somewhat military cut to them. For now deciding to ignore the translucent and unmoving state of the other people visible, he decided to go with the flow the strange being had offered before.

"Ah, forgoing the dodekathonic look, I see?"

"Yeah," the man chuckled, "it was a spur of the moment idea anyway, including an almost Rube-Goldberg-like contrived event to justify. I can't say why I thought that an amusing idea, now."

"Now?" Fuyutsuki queried. He thought he had an idea what Wei meant, but confirmation might be helpful.

"You are sharp, too, I see. I'm happy to see you're not propagating the cliches about old university professors going senile, I like to say," Wei nodded, partially deflecting the implied query.

"I'm not that old," the former educator and researcher stated drily.

"But you want me to elaborate, I can tell," the massive, but still deceptively harmless looking man conceded.

"I do want to understand better, yes. Now?" Fuyutsuki cautiously prodded.

"As I said before, I had to limit certain aspects of my being to enable me to interact meaningfully with all of you. Unfortunately, maybe, that includes losing certain... ways of perception and thinking, let's say."

"Shouldn't that be an... unpleasant experience?" the older man asked, genuinely curious.

"Not as much as you'd probably expect. In a way it is like donning an environmental suit, or passing an airlock. The limitations are compensated for by previously inaccessible options. And since my focus now is... tightened, so to say, the previous state loses importance.

"In other words, now that I am here, there is no... unpleasantness... left to complain about," Yoh Wei explained.

Fuyutsuki thought about it. "I think I do understand. Unless you focus on what you have lost, you don't miss it much."

"I guess you do understand the basic idea. Especially if I consider your choice of words, Fuyutsuki-san."

Now the tone of that threw the former Professor a bit off. Then he nodded.

"I guess you are referring to the past. You said you had seen our situation here multiple – no, infinite times, so you are already familiar with all our old regrets and mistakes; that is what you allude to, isn't it?" he asked, a hint of old bitterness creeping up his throat.

Yoh Wei nodded. "In a way. Remember, infinite variations. There were times and worlds where you never met Yui or Gendo, for example. Not all of these were noticeably worse or better than this, by the way, Second Impact or not.

"To be honest, a particular sequence of events I found very... amusing, in which Gendo still married Yui, you all worked on the Evangelion project and its various offshoots... but almost no one of your and their peers had to die for the project, and to several hyperactive little children you became godfather and/or favorite babysitter – and favorite play toy, I'll admit," Wei grinned.

"Amusing. Heh. Did I enjoy it?"

"You were a bit... overtaxed."

"Ah."

"I understand you and Gendo don't actually... like... each other," Wei appeared to be changing the topic.

"... No, not really. I respect him for his dedication, and he seems to respect me as his former teacher and confides most of his plans to me, but like... no. We're more like associates out of necessity," Fuyutsuki reluctantly admitted.

"SEELE."

"Yes. It's weird being able to talk so openly to a complete stranger about secrets we would kill to keep, you know?"

Passing that over for now, Wei instead asked: "And you don't know whether to be elated or scared about it, is that it?"

"... I guess so," NERV's second-in-command confirmed.

"I recommend you compare the situation to a confessional. It's supposed to be good for the soul," Wei drily joked.

"Thanks for reminding me that for all intents and purposes I'm talking to... an all-knowing divine messenger walking the earth," the professor replied in a similar tone.

"Let's put that aside again. We're losing focus. I'm losing focus. And that doesn't help," Yoh Wei cut the pleasant banter off with a gesture.

"I intended to advise, remember? The problem now is I'm not certain what I can offer to you in that regard."

"I thought you knew whatever you wanted to know about us?" Fuyutsuki asked, slightly taken aback.

"Within limits. My main problem now is that from all you people I have my focus on you are, in this iteration, the one with the least number of serious problems that need to be adressed. Compared with the others, practically zero," Wei elaborated, still a bit agitated.

"... Should I be flattered or concerned about that?"

"Neither. That's the other side of the problem," Wei just stated, offering no elaboration this time, but fixing Fuyutsuki with a measuring look.

"Oh."

"Yes."

Fuyutsuki pondered that for a while before slowly, but decidedly stating:

"So I'm not messed up enough to need your help, but neither am I enough of a driving force in this to need advice in dealing with my problems. I sit between the factions. As in the tales, not evil enough for hell, not good enough for heaven." He found some humor again, choosing his closing sentence.

"Heh. Nice comparison. That's just as I see it," Wei drawled.

A few moments passed in thought.

"I see what you meant with focusing problems. You overdid it."

Now it was Yoh Wei's turn to look surprised.

"It may well be that at the moment I don't need your... help... for the kind of problems you referred to previously." Fuyutsuki carefully said.

"At the moment. I guess so."

"And you don't want to hint too much to problems that might come up later, because you want to keep to your stated limits and rules," he added.

"It may well be so, yes," Wei cautiously stated.

"And neither can I come up now with a question that fills your requirements."

"You could ask, but..." the previously omnipotent being actually waffled a bit.

"Then forget it for now. I'll take a rain check on the big things," Fuyutsuki decided, going for a bit of levity by himself. "But if you want, you might give me a hint how I can present the upcoming reconstruction costs to the comittees, provided we survive."

"Heh. I might just do that," Wei chuckled.

Still, Kozo Fuyutsuki started to doubt his deductions a bit, when he saw Wei nodding to himself with a somewhat satisfied smirk.

Ooo

(Hello, Mrs. Ikari. Yui.)

(?)

(Well, you were present, kind of, so I'm taking the liberty of including you in the deal, even if you are not actually present in a certain sense.)

(!)

(Yeah, I know. How much did you actually comprehend?)

(. 3 . ! . ?)

(Ah. I'll admit, that is the heart of the matter. You are ready and willing?)

(! ! !)

(Good luck then. I'll do my best on his side, too.)

(.)

Ooo ooO

Previously virtually stopped time moved again, the short grace period eaten up by more last-second preparations and a NERV command staff locked in moments of unexpected contemplation and stirred-up emotions.

"Don't worry. After your lungs fill with LCL, it'll directly supply you with oxygen. You'll get used to it soon," Dr. Akagi explained.

"Fuah, guhah... I feel sick."

"Stand it! You – you can deal with it, it isn't that bad, is it?"

For some reason Misato decided not to egg on the boy as much as she would have done before. Heck, Shinji's role as savior of Tokyo-3 had been confirmed just a few minutes earlier by Word Of God, almost literally. She still didn't know what she was supposed to do – or even think – about that, but whatever, the crisis was on and she would do her very best to support him now.

"Connect to the main power supply."

"Transmit power to all circuits."

"Yes, sir."

The chatter of the support staff and technicians filled the air, as the startup sequence of the titanic machine continued.

"Slow, deep breaths... I have it now, thanks Misato-san. It doesn't feel pleasant, but I can deal with it, I think" Shinji commented from the entry plug, having focused a little more on breathing the liquid he was immersed in.

More chatter filled the operations center, but Misato only listened to potential danger messages. "Great." She cheered with a tight smile.

Maya Ibuki read the displays: "Connect the mutual lines. The rate of synchronization is 47.6%."

"Great!" Ritsuko joined the sporadic cheering.

"The strange AT-Field is dissolving. Angel resuming his movement!" someone sounded off.

"OK. EVA Unit One to the launching pad." Another joined in, as the huge machine, a fourteen-year-old boy on board, locked in place.

"The course is clear. All green."

"It's ready for launching," Ritsuko confirmed.

"OK," Misato acknowledged.

Turning towards the Commander's place, she enquired: "Are you OK with all this?"

Gendo answered, tightly: "Of course. We have no future unless we beat the Angels."

Fuyutsuki cautiously enquired, not too loud: "Ikari, are you really satisfied with it?"

Gendo remained silent, but the muscles of his jaw tensed as he grit his teeth.

"Launch!" Misato exclaimed, giving the final order.

Ooo

With a powerful jolt, the Evangelion came to a halt, the holding array risen out of the road like another skyscraper. Shinji in the entry plug actually noticed the buffering effect the LCL had on him. The Angel was not yet in sight, but it would be only a few moments before...

"Are you ready, Shinji-kun?" Misato inquired.

Shinji confirmed with an "Ah, yes."

Misato called out the last command: "Remove the final safety lock! Evangelion Unit One, lift off!"

With a lurch, the technological giant slackened, going from the straight held position to a slight slouch, no longer held upright by clamps and brackets, but by its own muscles and bones.

Shinji tried to separate his own sense of balance from what the machine sent him, just when Dr. Akagi tried to guide him.

"Shinji-kun, think about only walking now," she advised.

"Walking..." Shinji concentrated. One foot – right foot – up and forward – keep the balance – down and done...

"It's walking!" Ritsuko cheered, still deep down not quite expecting success.

"I'm walking," Shinji cheered internally. "I can do this... next step."

Unnoticed, the umbilical cable had had just enough slack to, unnoticed, have intruded on the position of his other foot.

The result was familiar and unavoidable, Unit 01 stumbling over its own cable and planting its face full force on the ground.

"I actually felt that... Ouch."

Shinji, inside, raised his head and rubbed his face. "Wait a moment..."

Then he broke out in almost hysterical laughter.

"Shinji? Are you OK?" came the panicked question through the radio. "Are you injured? What's happening?"

With conscious effort, Shinji tried to contain himself. Laughing with liquid-filled lungs hurt.

"(Gasp) Eheh-he... sorry about that... Hehe-hah... (Choke) Sensei warned me about p- p- 'pratfalls', I thought he wa–hha- was joking... and he-h was –hahh – was, but –huhh- wasn't..."

In NERV Control, Misato had to fight a smile in spite of the danger ahead, Ritsuko slumped, Maya decided to ask later, and Gendo and Kozo shuddered, both dreading – and quite well remembering the threat of - slapstick comedy.

Then the Angel came around the corner.

"SHINJI-KUN!"

Ooo ooO

Shinji awoke with a start. He sat up, confused, a radio programme somewhere contending with the sound of the crickets or cicadas outside. Staring ahead with unfocused eyes, he finally collected his thoughts, gazing around the hospital room and finally dropping back again. He focused on the ceiling's light fixture.

"Even the ceiling is unfamiliar... what am I doing here, really?" he mused.

"And what happened after..."

He flinched, as the first bits and pieces of memory returned.

Ooo

"We need to talk, sensei," Gendo Ikari said as the door to his office closed, the cabalistic designs all around shimmering. With the push of a button the slight shimmer changed to a soft, constant glow surrounding the room.

Fuyutsuki nodded, pulling over a chair and sitting down bonelessly. "I think so, too. You expect this to be enough?" he asked tiredly, with one hand splayed trying to massage his temples, the other vaguely waving around.

"If it isn't, then there is no chance at all. That... THING... he broke me. In minutes, if not seconds. It was like... he just knew how to push buttons I never even realized might be there. He manipulated me, made us all dance to his little game!" Gendo seethed, still standing behind his chair, gloved hands practically biting into its leathery-upholstered backrest.

"And the worst is that there was truth in what he said to you, am I right, Ikari?" the former professor dared to ask.

"Yes, damn it. Yes. But I know, even then, I would never have lost control so easily and deeply unless he did something... more."

"Well, he did announce his intent to... meddle," Fuyutsuki commented.

"That isn't the point! I don't care what he is or why he did it, but I will not accept this... travesty! How can you be so calm about it? You have just as much invested in this as I have," NERV's Commander raved.

"Maybe because he didn't even try to break me," the older man stated.

His younger superior sent him an incredulous look.

"He apparently did not feel the need to. Neither did he delve as deep into my mind as he seems to have done to you. As far as I can tell, of course.

"But you are behaving extremely out of character. Whatever he did to you must have been seriously traumatizing, whether naturally or artificially enhanced. I recommend you try to fight his influence and regain your composure." Fuyutsuki advised. "I have made some... deductions and want to discuss them with you, but I need you to be as clear-headed as possible if you want to counter this."

With visible effort, Ikari tried to do so. He swung his chair around and sat, assuming his habitual pose.

"If we could contol him, he would be a valuable asset." He mused. "But that seems to be highly unlikely... even assuming he isn't what he claims to be, he is undeniably powerful. We know the Angels can influence human minds and manipulate matter... but ony one was prophesied to talk to us, and it was supposed to be the last, or next to last. Thus, in any case, the scenario is broken by this event alone. We have to adapt."

"Better, Ikari. Now, let's analyze the facts. Excluding demonstrated powers, what did you notice about the actual event?"

Ikari thought about it, then listed:

"Childish. Headstrong and immature, but pretending wisdom, like a kid that believes he knows it all already. While that might be literally true, technically, he was inconsistent and whimsical, focused on a crude sense of humor, much less sophisticated than he seems to think of himself. Puns, bah. Hungry for entertainment, certainly. Chaotic and impulsive."

"Also, during the individual conversations he had with me and Doctor Akagi he confessed to increasing limitations. Also, if I may paraphrase: 'omniscience practically precludes super-intelligence'. He may be the living proof of that thesis."

"Akagi?"

"Yes, I had her write up her impressions and what she was able to recall from her 'lecture' immediately as soon as the Angel was confirmed as neutralized.

She seems to have held a few personal details back, but nothing important in my judgement. Unfortunately, I have not yet been able to get reports or transcripts from Katsuragi – but I don't expect something advantageous from her anyway - or your s- the Third Child. The First Child also has not yet naturally regained consciousness. I doubt she would be able to add something of practical use either, so I decided to let her sleep to aid her recovery. The medical staff predicts her being able to walk again within 14 to 16 days."

"While I have been unbalanced enough to spend the time brooding and agonizing, I see. It is good to see I still can rely on you, Professor. But you may refer to the Thir- my SON as such. Even taking the external influence in account, as you said, there was truth in it. I'll have to accept that part. Which does not preclude his probable role in the new scenario we'll have to build."

"I have to confess mixed feelings about that statement, but we shall see how it develops. The more important part is our intruder seems to display a rapid decrease either in his manipulative powers or his power in general. Neither Akagi nor myself were obviously manipulated, and he also either didn't try or was unable to probe our minds in the way he did during the general event," Fuyutsuki continued.

"And during my turn, you avoid saying," Gendo commented in an impersonal tone.

"Admitted. From a few subtle clues I infer you were his first target..."

"He actually told me so, right at the start," Gendo confirmed.

"Hrm. So he might have used up a certain type or amount of power not available to him later on you. If his so-called limitations include a power limit."

"Unfortunately, we can only speculate there." Gendo tapped his finger, thinking.

"Well, since he hasn't yet shown up and tried to berate us, we can assume either the qabalatic shielding works or he doesn't think our plans worthy of his interference. I hope it is the former. He seems to be able to teleport without major effort, read at least surface thoughts and can turn invisible and create illusions. He either can alter temporal perception or actually dilate time. He can project an AT field powerful enough to discourage an Angel from trying to break it, though that was possibly an one-off occasion. And even without an AT field, he seems impervious to at least small-caliber handguns," Fuyutsuki listed in no particular order.

"He seems unaffected by the Lance."

"What?"

"The bullet I fired at him. Either he was too arrogant to raise it, could not do so in time or it just went through his AT field without resistance. It should have been the latter.

"It was a bullet tipped with a fleck of metal claimed to be from the Lance of Longinus. I had a few tests and samples made in case we ever lost control over a First Child with awakening powers. The expense was considerable, but justified I believe. According to expectations the material should practically ignore an AT field, 'for the point of the Lance shall pierce the shield of the soul itself', as it is written. It seems to have done that, and while his physical body, as it were, seemed bullet-proof, he actually seemed to have felt it. If I had had a bigger caliber available, it might have worked. We could prepare such and try it if necessary," Gendo coldly elaborated.

"Unless you have tipped your hand with this first try. Still, let us keep this option in mind. Also, after Shinji referred to him as 'sensei', I had requested information from your son's old school. Just now I have received a report about a teacher going by the handle of 'Yoh Wei'. The similarities are notable."

Fuyutsuki offered a thin folder.

"A picture and some professional data. For about a month he was employed as a substitute teacher in English and German, and the last two weeks he tended to shinji's class. In spite of everything – physique, social disparities - he appears to have entrenched himself thoroughly, all references are improbably positive. He left town on the same train as the boy, it seems."

"So he spent the last two weeks, at least, and the full train ride to Tokyo-3 stalking and influencing my – son. Hm. And his original name is – ah, I can see why he called himself Yoh Wei, or rather Wei Yoh, going by local order. Heh, that stupid pun he tried to impress us with only works in western name order. German? Do you think that explains why he included the Second Child in the... 'vision' he created? Or was he just thorough?" Ikari speculated.

"He may just have been thorough, there were several other 'participants'. One of them, it appeared from the clothing, one of our techs. We should look into that and try to identify the woman. It might give us... options," the older man mused. "Still, we have yet to find applicable weaknesses. What we have is not enough."

"A few are obvious," Gendo stated.

"Emotional. He claims to care. A weakness. His desire for entertainment. Boredom could force him into action or make him leave. Arrogance. Always usable. Morals. We have to decipher whether he was faking or actually tries to follow some kind of code. The rules he spoke of may be a start, but it could also have been an act. We seem to have quite a bit of work ahead of us, sensei."

"And you have to face the committee soon. Don't forget to prepare for them."

"That at least is mostly unchanged from my previous plans. I just have to prepare a response in case news about this Wei incident has reached them already. How is the status of their moles on site?" Commander Ikari enquired.

"All known to us have been outside the area. The most they should be able to relay is a communications gap of a few minutes, which we already have classified as a electrical breakdown. The onset of the incident seems to have been missed recording, and the security forces onsite are being questioned under highest confidentiality and have been... persuaded to witnessing a minor incident only, if at all. More thorough steps have been... dropped, in case our intruder has prepared something in case of our being... ruthless." The second-in-command listed a few more details, as his former student nodded.

"Very well, we'll go with that for now. Unless we find a way to regain control of the situation, we can not presume any of our key players will act as they are supposed to, not even SEELE - or... Ayanami, as much as it pains me to admit. Even she might be compromised, and we can't even rely on the next unless we can reliably discount any contamination. We'll have to tread exceedingly careful."

"Yes. How do you want to handle this?" Fuyutsuki queried.

"Under highest secrecy, of course, but we will need documentation, even if only for our own reference," Gendo decided.

"Let's classify this 'Yoh Wei' as one of the Angels then. We'll declare him... Angel Zero. The Angel of Chaos. Codename... 'Azazel'."

Ooo ooO

Author's Afterword:

I broke Gendo! Wheeee! And Codename Azazel... I can live with that.

(grins madly)

Erhem.

Writing this, I once more have discovered my tendency to use so much dialogue this could just as well have been a script, but since large parts of NGE are practically talking heads, I guess it fits. I tried to add a few describing elements, but you have to judge for yourself whether it works or not, and whether I should have left the dialogue scenes bare speech. I think it would have worked standing alone, but opinions... vary. If you like, you can tell me yours in a review or PM.

Also, in some places I am hinting at various other fanfics and sources without having asked permission, so if the respective creators object to that, tell me and I'll remove the offending reference.

Since I'm writing only when the author-bug bites me, I can't promise when I'll continue this (or if at all), but that's life.

Still, thanks in advance for any comments coming in, and if I do continue:

Ooo ooO

Next Time on 'Neon Genesis Evangelion: Divine Intervention'

Chapter 2:

- The Storm before the Typhoon -

or

- Roads and Choices -

Ooo ooO

"Get up, Shinji! Quick!"

Still fighting the urge for hysterical laughter, dread crept up through Shinji's innards as the titanic, monstrous shape drew closer. "And sensei talked about these... THINGS as if he were talking about pets... No. Not sensei. Whatever he is..."

Fighting the panic, Shinji brought his – no, the Evangelion's – arms under and pushed, trying to get up in time.

"... he was right – I must not, can not run away. Not from this thing. I can not flee. If I flee I lose. Everyone dies. Everyone loses. I mustn't run away. If I do I lose. I flee, I lose. I don't run, I can't... lose.

"I dare not run, I must not lose.

"I flee - I die. I die - all die. I can't lose. Can't run.

"Can't run. Can't lose.

"Can't run. Can't lose.

"Can't run. Can't lose."