This obviously was meant to be earlier in the story but it didn't fit. Just a short blurb for those that have a girl-crush on Esme. Although Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight, she would probably want to distance herself from this...
Bella POV
Alice once again returned and managed to not make any rude comments about my so-called Mom jeans and my baggy Pooh bear t-shirt. She merely picked me up and carried me down into the kitchen. It was still disconcerting to have someone so tiny hauling me around like I was light as a feather.
As I was eating, Emmett and Esme came in and I had to do a double-take when I saw how Esme was dressed. She and Emmett looked like twins and MTV had thrown up all over them. They both had baseball caps on their heads turned sideways and jeans that were so low, their boxers were showing. Emmett's had blue stripes on his and Esme's were covered with golden stars. Emmett was wearing a black NWA t-shirt and Esme's was grey and had 'Thug Life' on the front of hers, though it was hard to make out because she had apparently taken the antique wall clock off the wall and, with a length of chain, put it around her neck.
I was sitting there with my mouth wide open and then Esme bopped her head at me and said, "What up?"
I was caught in that moment where your body isn't sure if it should break out in hysterical laughter or pass out when Carlisle and Rosalie walked in.
"Oh dear Lord," Carlisle muttered and Rosalie walked up to Emmett, smacked him on the back of the head and walked out.
"Sorry I didn't warn you Carlisle," Alice grinned. "But I knew this was going to be hilarious, so I let Emmett go with it."
Carlisle managed to take his eyes off of his wife long enough to stare incredulously at Alice. "Care to tell me what's going on?"
At that moment, Esme turned and bent down to put the toaster away and as Carlisle's eyes widened as he got a look at her boxers, Alice started laughing uncontrollably, so Emmett answered. "Esme was worried about keeping up with hep-cat Bella's crazy speak so we spent the night watching educational programming."
Alice managed to choke out between giggles, "Tell him what you watched."
"Well," Emmett said. "We actually got really lucky because there was a Flavor of Love marathon on and then we caught MTV cribs and Snoop Dog was on. The best though was a Behind the Music on 2Pac. That one had the best clothes. I was a little worried about Esme though. After Snoop Dog, she kept adding heezy and chilleezy onto every word she said. It was starting to freak me out a little."
Esme smiled brightly and started whipping her hands around, I'm assuming in an attempt to flash some kind of signs, but she looked like she was having a seizure. "Don't hate on my speak cuz," her melodic voice trilled out. "You gots to give me my props!"