preface:
My name is Alice Brandon I am 17 years old, My life is fucked up im wasted away into nothing im so numb, and i love it but fear it at the same time. I love it because it keeps the pain away and it keeps my mind blank but i fear it because im not living in a real world it's just me. So here i am spacing out on the living room couch looking at the only picture left hanging on the wall, it's of sebastians family. They look happy and it causes my heart so much pain because i will never have that again, i think the only reason i was created for is to be alone. I look away from the picture not wanting to feel the pain any longer and pick up the needle thats already has my savior in it and poke it in my arm and injects that sweet heroin so i can go back to being numb the only good feeling i will forever experience.
They say memories will fade in time, They said my memories will fade quickly because i was so young when it happened but they were terribly wrong. I remember every detail of that night, that night when my family was killed. I was 10 years old when they died.
My mother was beauitful, people said i looked exactly like her, she had long black silky hair with crystal blue eyes and had a natural tan people would kill for. My father was so in love with her, but no couple is perfect they owed alot of money to powerfull people. They were drug addicts i knew that but i didn't care as long as they were with me.
One evening when i was getting home from school i walked into my house and everything was trashed it looked like a bomb hit it. When i finally got my mind together after i heard the shooting of a gun. I ran up the stairs as fast as i could to see my father dead on the floor with a puddle of blood around him. I remember trying to shake him awake but when i looked into his lifeless eyes i knew he was gone forever. I cryed with what seem was forever but i didn't realize i wasn't alone untill a pair of arms ripped my off my father and threw me in my parents room thats when i noticed my mother in the corner crying holding her hand to her stomach that was gushing of blood.
Three men entered the room and started to kick her everywhere i screamed untill I too was getting kicked. The pain was horrible but it was nothing compared to what i saw next. They threw my mother on the other side of the room, tore off her clothes and made me watch them rape her. I will never forget the way my mothers eyes connected to mine pleading to not doing anything that will get myself killed. They killed her, my beauitful loving Mother! When the finished with her the placed the gun to her head and shot her, It will forever scar me witnissing all of this but what happened next made my forever broken.
Chapter 1 : Aspen
Life sucks, thats my motto. I've been living in my own personal hell for 7 years. My life is not so ordinary to any normal teenager and it seems to get worse and worse each passing year. I wouldn't of even made it this far if it wasn't for my friend Aspen she was my light in some sort of non lesbian way. I met her 6 years ago in Broklynns orphange by that time i was already there for a little over a year. The first time i saw aspen she had a dirt potato sack over her head and was getting the shit kicked out of her in the bathroom. 5 girls were just giving it to her but even though she couldnt see she wouldn't go down so easily. I didn't pity her though it happened to everyone who was "fresh meat" and wasn't as damage as the rest of us.
When i got my welcome beating i was so numb after everything that happened i didn't feel the pain untill it was over. The girls weren't satisfied though since i didnt scream or fight back so they kept coming after me untill i cracked and got my revenge. I got my revenge by pouring bleach into the leader's shampoo bottle when she was taking a shower. I remember sitting in the corner waiting until she used her shampoo, when she finally did all i heard was ear peircing scream. When i heard the scream i couldn't stop the grin that began to spread over my lips.
Aspen and I were the same we were both damaged beyond repair. When I helped her off the floor she took the sack off her head you could see the bruises already starting to form on her face and blood was coming from her nose and lip, she didn't look scared just angry she asked me what my name was, i told her and from that day on we were basically attatched to the hip . Her father died of an overdose and her mother killed herself when she was just a baby. Aspen was a couple months younger than me but taller, she was beauitful she had a lean figure, legs that ran for miles and a simple smile than got everyones attention. She was fearce and strong and turned out to by my only true friend. We ended up running away from the orphange on my 14th birthday we didn't have anywhere to go but we didn't care as long as we were free. We lived on the streets for almost 2 months. We stole what we needed and slept where ever it was dry. We met a couple people around are age and evantully started apartment hopping around. There was one guy though named Sebastian that looked and me like i was a piece of meat, but made me a deal i couldn't refuse- sex for a place to live. When we first got to his place I was speechless there was people everywhere but thats not what made me speechless. There was this one guy, he was black and bulk and had amazing green eyes I couldn't help but stare he was amazing. When Sebastian came back holding out a beer for me thats when the guy noticed me staring he smiled a little and said "Hey little lady why dont you come sit by me" right after he said that i couldn't control my feet and next thing you knew i was sitting right beside him.
"I haven't seen you around before, Im Liam" he said ,I was to busy undressing him with my eyes to acknowledge he was speaking to me.
"im Alice" was all i could muster out. He laughed and started to roll up a bill, he stuck it in his nose and started leaning towards the table he snorted a line of that white powder , i was extremly curious as to what it was. "do you want a line?" "what is it?" and then he said the word that changed my world "Heroin"
From that night on all i've been doing with my life was partying me and aspen still lived with Sebastian we were his sluts as he would like to say. As long as i got my heroin i was content, Aspen though was more into cocaine and speed. I tryed them but heroin was still my choice of drug. Heroin was my superhero i guess you could say it took all the bad memories in my head and destroyed them untill i was sober, but i didn't stay sober long enough before they got the chance to come haunt me once again.