Calypso, a pirates of the caribbean fanfic

A little fanfic I wrote after watching PotC3.
Big thanks for Kaja for the idea for Barbossa'a past.
And even bigger thanks for Fidelio for beta-reading the English version.

PotC (c) Disney, I'm only borrowing the characters for a while.

C a l y p s o

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday
I will be there, I will be there

I'll fight, babe, I'll fight
To win back your love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, only love
Can break down the wall someday
I will be there, I will be there

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Your pride has built a wall, so strong
That I can't get through
Is there really no chance
To start once again
I'm loving you

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again
I will be there, I will be there
Love, our love
Just shouldn't be thrown away
I will be there, I will be there

If we'd go again
All the way from the start
I would try to change
The things that killed our love
Yes, I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end
I'm still loving you
I'm still loving you, I need your love
I'm still loving you

Scorpions, Still Loving You

Playing the organ. As always, when there are too many thoughts. The Brethren Court, Sparrow's debt, all the duties, the agreement, the heart... Away! I deserve a moment of solitude. Even I, Davy Jones.

Playing... Again! I can't free myself from this damned melody!

The music box... Oh yes, laying right here. I forgot. Forgot to throw it away. But, not even knowing why... I can't.

It's still playing... Why I am so surprised? It was... It was just yesterday. Yesterday... A tear? No. No! You won't get a single tear, Calypso! It's you who should be crying. It's you who has betrayed me.

It was your duty, Davy Jones, that you were charged with by Calypso. Your duty, your task – to lead those who died at sea to the other side. I watch the bodies, floating on the surface... Up until now, I had hope... Or maybe it was just a desperate cry for peace of conscience?

So it happened, Davy Jones. You're no longer a man...

I knew they'd come. Boats... and in them souls of those who had died at sea. They can't get to the other side... Straying through the sea of World's End, until someone would lead them to the beyond. What have you done! What... what I have done with you?

I knew we had to free Calypso. We had little chance, but without Calypso – no chance at all. I was perplexed that she so easily let us lock her up. She hold sway over my life and death, 'cause she'd summoned me from the world of the dead. She'd summoned me to find Sparrow... And to have all the nine pirate lords to free her. Aye, Calypso, that's why you have summoned me. 'Cause among all those who can free you, I'm the only one who knows how. 'Cause I'm the only one who's been there with Davy Jones. You will be set free, I'll see to it. In our common interest.

It used to be a different place, the world... But it was long, very long ago.

How can it be, damn it, that Beckett knows about Calypso?! Anyway, doesn't matter! You even don't know how much mistaken you are, boy. She's not a person. Nor a goddess. She's an evil spirit, enchanting men, just to show them later how unworthy they are of her care, unworthy even to be the dust under her feet. I thought the Brethren Court managed to get rid of her once and for all. But maybe she, like me, cannot die. So she's still alive. And they're going to free her. That's not what the agreement was! I didn't tell the first Court how to bind her for that! It can't happen!

Oh, so it's you, Turner. I wonder how you got to know it. I'll get even with you for that someday, Turner. Someday... For if she knows it was I who betrayed her, she'll find a way to kill me...

I have to go there. Yes, I used to loved her. Used to... Who am I trying to deceive? Myself? Too much happened between us and nothing can change it. But... No. Impossible. We're too proud. Pride is the only thing left...

She was surprised I came. Maybe she forgot, that I'm one with the sea now. As she once was. With the sea and the beyond... And yet somehow she knew I'd come. Maybe even in her human form she still has some of her powers.

I almost believed her when she said 'Beloved'. When she said that it was a torture – life without the sea... and without me. Almost. For ten years I had obeyed the duties she charged me with. I'd been leading those who died at sea to the other side. Ten years! And after those years, when I could finally come ashore, when we could've been together again, for one day – one day! – she'd dissapeared. She hadn't come. I'll never believe you again, Calypso. Back then you said it, too. 'Beloved'. And that you'd be waiting.

Yes, you're right... I'd have never loved you if you weren't what you are. Unboundable, like freedom, like wind, like the sea. I forgot that the only constancy of the sea is it's changeability.

Yes, I abandoned my duty! To carry out duties one needs to have an aim, and you've taken mine from me! What was to be my aim? Ten-years-long waiting for a day of loneliness?!

I don't know how she did this, but for a while it was like it used to be. None of us looks as in the past any longer, but for a moment it happened. I was young again, and she was the spirit of the seas. For a while I felt how it could have been... And all the time I knew that it's not the past, but now, and that much has changed, too much for those days to ever come back. She promised we'd be together again. I didn't believe her this time. What a pity... Some lies are so sweet that with your whole heart you want them to be true. Hah, heart! I don't have a heart any more.
She doesn't know... Doesn't, or has she just pretended? I couldn't figure out. I lied to her, too. I told her my heart would always belong to her. Her smile... She couldn't have been pretending. So she still...

No, it's too late. I don't love her anymore, and she'll never have my heart, it's safe in its chest.

Stings of remorse... I'm not sure if she was telling the truth, I'll never know it, but I feel remorse. I'll feel it for the rest of my life... The whole damned eternity... For I don't know if, lying to her, I haven't told the truth.

He came... He surprised me. I hoped he'd come, but I hadn't really expected him to do so. When I've heard his music box, for a moment it was like it used to be. Two music boxes, playing the same melody...

I knew he'd reproach me for all these years, and for not being there. I lied. I told him a lie he believed. That he'd never love me if I wasn't what I am. No, I didn't lie... I just didn't tell the whole truth.

He said he didn't love me anymore. I have no reason not to believe him. After what I've done to him, I'd hate me. I didn't want to reproach him, and yet I did. I told him he abandoned his duties, twisted the role of the 'Flying Dutchman', twisted his soul. I didn't confess it was my fault. Cursed be my pride!

I laid my hand on his chest, where his heart was... had been. I wanted just for a while to see him again in his human form. He was no longer so young... But somewhere in the depth of his eyes still was the old-days Davy Jones, and for a short while it was how it used to be, and even I was again that light and pure ocean spirit. He must have felt it, too, for he whispered my name, just like in the old days, and not with hatred...

I promised him my heart, when I'd be free, but he didn't believe. He had a reason not to, a good reason... He came only to find out what would happen when I'd be free. Don't worry, Davy Jones. I won't hurt you. I won't.

He promised me his heart. I know he lied. He doesn't have it anymore...

We made it! We set Calypso free! Wipe that smile off your face, Beckett, you won't defeat us so easily!

When she returned to her previous form, and we were kneeling on the deck, at her feet, we were afraid. I felt their fear, as I felt my own. She could help us, she could kill us. She was unpredictable.

But when I asked her to turn her rage against those who claim themselves her masters... 'Til the end of my days I'll remember her gaze...She wasn't tall enough to reach the clouds, and yet her face was surrounded by mist. Through that mist she looked at me and then she smiled, a strange, sad smile. It was hardly possible, but I had a feeling as if, looking at me, she saw that young boy with the music boxes whom I was so long ago. When the world was a better place...

Thank goodness young Turner told her about Davy Jones. I couldn't. Despite all I've done in my life, I couldn't. The battle is about to begin, and I have time for memories! Hector, man, pull yourself together! I can't stop this, these memories. Damn. I feel rotten, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm that boy again, handing miraculously saved music boxes to my captain, and Calypso the sorceress smiles at them. I want to believe again that everyhing will be all right.

It won't,. Not everything, not for everyone... See you in hell, my captain! And you, Calypso the sorceress!

So that's how they made it! I should have figured it out! So it was you who separated me from the sea, Davy Jones! It was you who took my freedom away! I'll never forgive you this! I could forgive you if you stopped loving me, but I won't forgive you that you separated me from the sea for so many years!

Let the hell raise!!

... Why do we have to choose between what we love?...

So that's how death looks like... A moment of pain, which will soon be gone... I do not fear pain... Maybe somewhere beyond there's a place without any pain. Maybe someone will lead me to the other side. Maybe there's a place somewhere where we will have a chance to live it all again, differently. Maybe there is hope for the damned...

Farewell, Calypso... Beloved...

It wasn't supposed to be like this... Not like this... I didn't want you to die... I only wanted to punish you, I wanted you to know how much you've hurted me... And I wanted you to live... I wanted you to be again the man you were before... I wanted it to be as it used to be... I know it was impossible. Our pride has built a wall that couldn't have been taken down or crossed. We would have needed time for this. What a paradox... In our eternity, we ran out of time...

I was never a goddess, even though a goddess from an ancient mythology was given my name. I was... No, I am.

I am the spirit of the seas. And you were as close to the sea as only a mortal man could be. You were like that when I saw you for the first time. A young sailor. You became a pirate, because you loved the sea and freedom above all. Your name became widely-known. And feared. But I knew that you never, even being a pirate, never had been cruel. I don't know how you managed to do so. But I admired that in you. After all, I could always watch you. And the sea told me everything.

And then, when your ship wrecked, the sea left you at the shore of my island. I took care of you, I brought you back to life. No, I didn't use magic. You loved the sea, so you fell in love with me, too. It was a wonderful time, probably that's why it was gone so quickly, too quickly. I knew you had to go. But I was afraid you wouldn't come back. That I wouldn't notice how years pass for you, that someday the sea would tell me it found your body. I was afraid of that.

I could give you immortality, I could give you your crew back. As the captain of the 'Flying Dutchman' you were to lead the souls of those who died at sea to the beyond. And you agreed. You agreed to stay on the deck of the 'Dutchman' for ten years, because every ten years you could come ashore to meet me. Every ten years, but for eternity. I prayed that you'd agree. And you did. I gave you immortality. I hid you heart safely. For ten years you'd been the best captain the 'Dutchman' ever had. Before you went away, you gave me a music box. I remember as if it happened yesterday... Your crew was back, and one of them had these two music boxes. He died trying to save them, knowing it was the only heirloom your parents had left you. They said he'd been a poet once. You gave me one music box – simple, silver music box – and I wouldn't have been happier if it had been a star from the sky. Every day, for ten years, we've been listening to the same melody, so far from each other, and yet together.

And after ten years... I didn't come. I hesitated. You were a pirate, I thought I was just a passing romance, maybe more important that the others, but passing. I hesitated. If one learned the taste of disappointment, then there's fear. I didn't notice the flow of time, it didn't matter to me. And when I decided to go... it was too late. Soon after I knew I wasn't a romance. I was love. The waves told me tales of your sadness and anger. I knew you wouldn't fogive me easily, if ever, but I had to try. I couldn't come to you, even the spirit of the ocean has to obey the law of the 'Dutchman', the law of World's End. I couldn't wait on the island, I had to find you. I get to the Shipwreck Island...

And just before another ten years went by, when I arrived at the Island... Suddenly I was a human being. The Brethren Court imprisoned me, bounding me to a human form. And I knew you wouldn't come to the Island, that as long as I was in that form I wouldn't see you. I couldn't free myself. There was a part of my power left, big enough that I was known as a witch among people, but too small to return to my old form, to be free.

I waited... Waited... I don't know how many years passed... A few? A dozen? A century? More? And then Sparrow and Barobossa appearedd. I remembered Hector, and somehow he remembered me. I had a chance of returning. They were a part of my plan, I – a part of theirs. We had to act together. Moreless, at least. I helped them to save Sparrow.

And then, at World's End, we came across the boats. Boats, and wandering souls in them. And the bodies in the sea. And suddenly, irreversibly I knew what had happened to you, how hard I must had hurted you that something like that was possible. And I knew that even in this life I would suffer eternal damnation for what I had done with you, for what you became... Eternal damanation by my conscience, and the conscience can be the most ruthless judge.

Then, for a while, I though we could – by a miracle – start again. For a short while it was like it used to be when we were together, but I knew it wouldn't be back, that past couldn't be revived. You turned down my love, for you had a reason, and you pride became a barrier that couldn't have been crossed. So the only thing left to me was also pride. I couldn't confess that back then, I was afraid. Of you, that you would hurt me, and for you, that someday I would wake up and you wouldn't be there, you'd be dead. And, maybe most of all, I feared I would hurt you.

And then I learned it was you who gave me away to the first Court... Yes, it did hurt. I wanted to punish you... And yet, it didn't change anything. I loved you still. More than the sea you've taken away from me for so many years. More than freedom. More than anything.

Everything I feared came into life. I hurt you, I took your humanity, I took your heart. I poisoned your soul. And you separated me from the sea.

And now the sea brought me your body... Death gave you back you human shape. And as you're laying here, your eyes closed and your face so peaceful, looking as if you were asleep, and it seems in a while you'll be awake and call my name silently. But I know you won't wake up again, never, and I know the sun will never rise for me anymore, and only a distant adamant star will divide day from night.

I listen to the sounds of two music boxes, playing together, and I'm trying to remember your voice. I want to remember your face, before the sea blurs it.

And as I'm looking at your closed eyes, almost seeing a shadow of a smile on your lips, I feel hope rising in me, hope that maybe somewhere there is a second chance for those damned in their earthly life, for those, who sentenced themselves. That maybe there's a paradise for such damned, when we could start everything again, where I could try to change everything, where everything will go the other way. Where maybe I won't give you immortality, or where after ten years I'll be faithfully waiting, where I won't let our love die so senselessly. I can't believe there will be no second chance, can't believe we won't be given this moment we hadn't time for in our eternity... I can't... We've already gone through our damnation once...

Sea and rain told me you died with my name on your lips... Wherever you are now, I know you're waiting for me. Wait for me, beloved. I'll come. Spirits don't die... But legends do, legends die when they aren't told any longer. I, Calypso, am a legend.

Wait. I'll come. And none of us will ever go away again.