A/N: I know, I know. Where have I been? And, more importantly, why am I starting a new story? Well you see, the last four months have royally stressed me out. I won't go into gory details, but let just say that I am just hoping next year is better. With everything going on with my family, I really haven't had time to think about writing. Everything going on around me was and is just so more important and for that I apologize.
I am struggling to write Unsteady, but I have started writing the next chapter. I have the perfect song for it that actually hearing it is what gave me the inspiration to start writing.
This is something short—but not really sweet.
I have already written twelve chapter because it was originally a 30 page one shot that I decided to change into short chapters because I love pairing music with my stories (if you haven't noticed).
I hope everyone has had a splendid holiday season! I celebrate Christmas and it was nice. My husband got me a computer which was much needed and his brother has finished treatments and was home for Christmas morning!
So once again, I know it seems like I drop off the face of the earth a lot and honestly I do. I write for fun, and when I am struggling or my husband is struggling, I find it hard to sit down in front of a computer and write.
My family comes before everything and they have needed me more than my fan fiction has. I am deeply sorry for that and I hope you all will continue to read my stories because I am very excited to continue writing Unsteady. I already know how it is going to end and I really don't think people will expect it. At least I hope not.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The timeline jumps around a lot in this and it is just small moments that lead to something much bigger if that makes sense.
Also, the grade in the chapter title is the grade that Brooke is in. The POV's jump around a lot, but the grade will be hers.
Chapter 1: Just So You Know — Seventh Grade
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
It had started when they were early teens. They had known each practically their whole lives (their dads were best friends growing up), but other than the casual "pass the potatoes," they hadn't really spoken much. Brooke assumed they had nothing in common and Lucas believed himself too cool to sully himself with his little sister's best friend. Even when they passed each other in school, Lucas stared at the ground not wanting people to think he associated himself with a seventh grader.
It was by chance they both happened to be up late and wandering into the kitchen. Brooke had come over as she did every few weeks to hang out with Peyton seeing as they didn't have a cheer competition that weekend. Nathan's friend Haley had been introduced to Peyton and Brooke only a few weeks prior and had instantly hit off and they had planned a slumber party to celebrate.
Peyton and Haley were both passed out in the living room when Lucas sauntered in to grab himself some aspirin to help with a lingering head ache caused by hours of staring at his computer screen.
If she was frightened by his sudden appearance, she didn't show it. She continued to stir her ice cream, mashing it down to soften it and mix the flavors of chocolate and vanilla together. It wasn't the first time he had watched her odd way of eating ice cream, but as always, he found it so weird.
He had found himself entranced the first time he had noticed it. It was during one of Peyton's birthday parties and they had made ice cream sundaes. He and Nathan had come down for something he now can't remember and they sat down with Peyton while she blew out the candles on the tip top of her monstrous sundae.
As all of the girls ate their ice cream, he noticed Brooke. It was the first time he had ever taken the time to notice the brunette who just always seemed to be around. She was eating a mixture of cookie dough and chocolate Oreo ice cream—no whip cream, no sprinkles—just the ice cream . She mashed the frozen treat until the flavors were mixed together and the ice cream was no longer a frozen ice cream, but more resembled soft serve.
It was weird, but she did it every time and tonight was no different.
"What are you doing up?" He asked awkwardly trying to find some way to fill the tense silence.
"I don't sleep very well." She shrugged rubbing her eyes tiredly.
Lucas might have only been fourteen, but anyone with a brain could see dark bags formed under her eyes, and the redness crusting around them.
Lucas knew from listening in on conversations between Peyton and his parents that Brooke was going through a rough time. Her dad had recently been diagnosed with cancer and had been in and out of the hospital the past few weeks.
His dad was taking it especially hard, always finding a reason to go to the car shop even at the most random times. He could only imagine what it must be like for your best friend to be sick. He wasn't sure what he would do if put in the situation.
It was partially why Brooke had been around so much, sometimes even during the school week. His mom had insisted that when Brooke needed to be away from all the hospitals and stress that they would take care of her.
"Oh."
Brooke couldn't stand the sympathy radiating off the word, but she knew it wasn't his fault. They didn't know each other well enough to talk about deep, personal stuff.
She hated silence. She felt the need to fill it, so she whispered: "Hospitals are noisy."
Lucas stilled, not quite sure how to respond to her. This was the longest conversation they had ever had and it had gotten real very fast.
"Yeah, I bet."
She was sitting in the same seat she always sat in when she came over. It was part of the breakfast bar and she had dubbed it her seat many years ago. Lucas hopped on the counter next to sink adjacent to her and stared at the fridge.
"But I have gotten used to the noises. So it is really quiet here—too quiet."
Lucas hadn't even noticed his headache had ebbed away as she spoke, he was too nervous that he was about to deal with a crying girl. At that point, he would get Peyton to deal with the hysterics.
"Why don't you listen to music?"
Brooke had finished her ice cream and pushed it away from her. Lucas didn't question the fact Brooke was so comfortable in his house she got herself ice cream like it was her own home. He wouldn't even do that at Jake's and they were best friends.
"I don't have an iPod."
Lucas nodded. He didn't pride himself on being the greatest person in the world. He cared about his friends and himself. When it came to outsiders, he looked at it in the way that he was sure they had someone looking out for them and it was all a cycle. He wasn't going to give his jacket and be cold when someone else will probably do it.
But as he watched Brooke look more and more tired and agitated, he felt the need to help her out. Just this once.
"Hang on."
Brooke watched Lucas leave the room and she rolled her eyes at him. She felt proud of herself for the five minute conversation they just had. She didn't stutter and she definitely didn't feel a blush on her cheeks. She didn't even know Lucas and what she did know was that he was usually cold to anyone that wasn't Nathan and his mom, but something about him always made butterflies come to life in her stomach.
She was sure Peyton had no idea because she kept a pretty good façade whenever Lucas was concerned, but it didn't make the crush go away.
She went to wash her bowl and had just closed the dishwasher when the floor creaked and Lucas was once again in her vicinity.
"You can use this tonight."
He thrust a silver iPod in her general direction and she looked at it in confusion.
"You don't have to let me borrow it."
"I don't need it. Seriously, just take it." His voice came out gruff and awkward, obviously not used to doing something nice for someone.
"Thanks."
He nodded roughly and stalked out of the room, and Brooke sighed heavily.
Well that didn't help her crush at all.
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
[Chorus]