Disclaimer: I wish I had the rights, because I'd fix the gaping plot holes. Also, Revan would be a woman. And you'd be able to redeem Malak, so I wouldn't have to cry over it.
Also, title means "I had lost."
Navre raged against herself, trapped in the stasis Malak had put her in. She was mad at herself, mad at him, mad at Bastilla, mad at Carth, mad at the galaxy and the Jedi, all for different reasons. Mostly; many rang of lies, lies of the deepest kind, including her own to herself. Reeling from the revelations and emotions, she had been stupid enough to follow the Sith lord by herself, and now she'd pay the price for poor judgement. Malak would kill her. Even now he stalked around her, waiting, letting her over-active mind torture itself. He leaned in closer to her and as best she could she braced herself.
"Still Auva berry."
His words went right through her, cold as ice and heavy as lead. That was the scent of the shampoo she used, had used for what she remembered as years. He recognised it. Of course he did, that was another stupid mistake; once, in a blank past, they'd been friends, they'd been close, they'd been… she didn't know.
"You might not remember, Revan, but I do. I remember the nights we spent as Padawans watching the traffic on Coruscant after we were supposed to be in bed. I remember everything about your life that you don't; I was there for all of it.
I remember everything: how much you hate mushrooms, what time you wake up." He touched the bare skin of her neck and the sick feeling already in her stomach grew stronger. She wanted to get away from the dark power of truth in his words, the echo of a cruel reality that was impossible to deny. She wanted him to shut up, she wanted to yell at him to shut up, but she couldn't.
"I remember what your skin feels like, what your lips taste like, what your hair smells like. I know everything about you, Revan, and you know nothing."
He was gone then, as the stasis field wore off. For a moment she just stood there, dumbstruck. Words wouldn't have helped her anyway. She knew so many languages- Mando'a, Huttese, Corelian, Trandoshan…- but none of them had the right word for this. Too many things were swirling around inside her, too many open ends, too many questions spawned from answers. She ran after him own her own again, starting it all over, raging against herself.
AN: Yeah, so I made up Auva berries. All I know is they're subtly fruity and probably make you sick if you eat them. Yes, Navre is an anagram of Revan; sick, isn't it? She thinks so too. Jedi are jerks.
This came from me wondering why Malak puts you in stasis and runs. I mean, couldn't he gloat, kill you, something? So here he calls her out and reveals something rather disturbing- there was once a man beneath a monster. A man that loved her very much. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some sobbing to do.