Keeping Things Whole
"UGH! I can't believe we are giving this guy his own show!"
"Now, now Caroline, according to all the reviews, Eduardo is next up and coming artist."
Caroline Forbes snorted. "Please, he's the flavor of the moment." She stepped back and looked at the piece she just hung on the wall. "Look at this, its so basic. There is no composition to it. The lack of detail for the style and the whole concept of 'shading' to make it seem dark is trite. It may as well be one of those black velvet posters you colored as a kid." She was also certain his name was really 'Eddie' not Eduardo, it was one of the things they did here, changing their name to appear more exotic and interesting. It drove her nuts.
"Huh?" Caroline froze. She looked at the girl next to her. Connie was in her early 20's and was born about the time Caroline became a vampire. She didn't grow up coloring, unless it was on an Ipad screen.
"It's a retro thing. My mom had them from when she was a kid growing up."
Connie gave her a strange look. "Sounds weird."
Caroline forced a laugh. "It was. And the markers always dried out before you finished the poster." She turned back to the ugly painting and stifled a sigh. "Hey can you go help the guys get the rest of the paintings unpacked for the show tonight? Then you can head out. I'll finish up here."
"Wow, thanks Caroline. You are the best."
Yes, she was the best. She was the one who didn't have a life, friends, a relationship, so she could be here whenever needed. Caroline stared blankly at the painting for a while. She knew it was time to move on soon. She never stayed in one place too long and this place was starting to lose any charm it once might have had.
She straightened the picture a bit more and then shook her head in disgust. Only twenty more of these before the gallery opened tonight and then five to six hours of listening to rich, pretentious art snobs gush about how ground breaking it was.
Once someone told her the world was filled with great cities and art and music and genuine beauty. Well, for the past four decades she had walked the Earth, she found herself on the fringe of the human's world. She had seen the art and listened to the music, but found no magic or wonder in it. A few years ago, she got the bright idea that maybe being in the trenches, seeing the up and coming art in Manhattan would renew a sense of wonder in her, but all it did was make her more jaded. None of it changed the fact that for the past 20 years, she was alone.
"Caroline? Where did you want to put this one?" She forced a smile on her face and turned to get back to work. Just another day. Another day in a long string of useless days….
~.~
"Oh, look at the depth of this." A woman gushed.
"I can feel the pain he's expressing." A man agreed.
"Oh, I know." The woman said. "You can always tell good art, when it makes you feel." The woman whispered, as if that made her words more right.
Caroline stood off to the side with Genevieve the owner of the gallery. She hoped that it wasn't obvious she was gritting her teeth in an effort to keep from pointing out how awful these paintings were. Why couldn't these people see? It was even worse with her vampire hearing listening to them all just going on and on about his genius. She drank down her champagne, wishing it was something much stronger.
Even her boss, Genevieve, who's real name was Jennifer, was just as bad. It was all so fake. All these people, all this art, none of it was real.
Caroline was beginning to wonder if she was real. It was definitely time to move on. The question was, where? What did she want to see? Where did she want to go?
Nothing came to her. Nothing seemed interesting. She sighed, staring at the eye sore in front of her. Maybe she herself was trite and redundant like this artwork. Why was she even still here?
She knew she was going to have to find something soon. Something that would excite her, interest her or sooner rather than later, the apathy and depression would overwhelm her.
"Oh Caroline, he came." Genevieve grabbed her arm in excitement.
"I'm sorry, what?" She realized she her boss was speaking, while she had been lost in her thoughts.
She heard another guest speaking just as her boss answered.
"An artist who isn't ashamed…"
"The art collector…
"….to put his feelings on the…"
"…Nicholas…"
"canvas like this."
"Michaelson."
Suddenly the two conversations came together in her head. "Wait, WHAT?" She turned to look at Genevieve who looked completely star struck. She turned her head in the direction she was looking and met blue eyes.
Everything suddenly fell away and she watched in shock as he crossed the room and came to stand before her. Her mouth felt dry and she knew she had to be gaping at her.
"Hello Caroline."
For a moment she forgot how to speak, she just stared at him. Could he really just appear like this, after 20 years? Now? So many emotions fought inside of her and all she wanted was to sit down.
"You two know each other!" Genevieve exclaimed. "Caroline, my dear girl, you've been keeping secrets from me."
Caroline looked at her, her mouth still hanging open in shock.
She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "Hello." She managed to get out, although it sounded more like a question. A small smirk came across his face at her obvious discomfort and confusion.
"Caroline and I are old acquaintances, aren't we? You are looking well." The smirk turned into a sad smile and she could feel her heart start beating rather quickly.
"Thank you. So are you." He always looked good. Whether he was as he was now, in a suit, fitted perfectly or in her memories where he had taken up residence.
"So," Genevieve cut in. "what do you think of my latest find? Isn't he magnificent." She stepped in between Caroline and Klaus and took his arm. Caroline waited to hear his response.
"Well, if by magnificent you mean passé, overworked, yet extremely simplistic to the point some of it looks like a bad stencil, then yes."
For the first time that night Caroline felt a real smile come to her face.
Genevieve froze and quickly excused herself, insulted beyond measure that he dared to disagree with her, no one in the art world disagreed with her.
It was all Caroline could do not to burst out into delighted laughter.
Klaus turned back to her. "I don't think she likes me anymore."
"I don't think so either, but you've never let anyone's opinions of you phase you."
"I wouldn't say never, love."
Caroline opened her mouth to respond.
"Caroline, Eduardo's here." Genevieve's voice cut urgently across the room.
She sighed, with regret. "I guess I need to get back to work."
"Indeed?" His smile never left his face.
"Are you staying? Would you like to get a drink later?" The words came out quickly so she couldn't lose her courage. She didn't want to go, she was afraid after all this time he'd be gone again.
It was worth it to see the surprise on his face.
"Nick, I'm bored. Can we just go back to your place now?" Her eyes widened at the black haired beauty that came up and grabbed his arm. She was exotic and in a dress that left very little to the imagination.
Klaus opened his mouth to speak, but Caroline spoke before he could. "I'm sorry…I didn't realize…never mind. I'm sorry. It was nice to see you again. Excuse me."
She dashed away as fast as she could without relying on vampire speed.
"Who was that little thing?" She heard the woman ask in a snide voice. Caroline cursed herself over and over again in her mind.
~.~
Hours later, the opening was officially closed. Genevieve had left to go out with some of her more important clients and the only people left were the clean up crew. Normally Caroline stayed to clean up so they would be ready to open, but surrounded by nothing but an almost empty space, the floor littered with discarded cups and trash and the depressingly bad art on the wall, she knew she was done.
Klaus had been here. She stared at the spot he had been in. He had been here and for a moment, just a moment….
She shook her head. She was being silly, the woman he had been with was obviously a super model. No actually, she was too beautiful to be a super model. How could she have thought, all these years, that somehow he would still think about her? The baby vampire that had been nothing more than a challenge. He probably had forgotten her less than a year after leaving Mystic Falls. She had been a fool, about this and so many other things.
Caroline just couldn't do this anymore. She dropped the bag of garbage she had collected on the floor and didn't even bother to grab her coat, just her keys and purse as she walked out the door. One of the janitors yelled her name, but she didn't answer.
She got outside and walked to her car. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. 20 years. 20 years of waiting, hoping and she blew it. Or it wasn't real to begin with. It was just a ridiculous dream. She hit the button to start the engine on her car, not even watching where she was going.
"Well, it's about time. I didn't think you were ever going to get out of there." She looked up in shock and saw him standing there, leaning against her car. For the second time tonight he rendered her speechless. "You were the one who invited me out for a drink." He reminded her, was it her imagination or did his smirk slip and he looked slightly nervous.
She closed her eyes for a minute as she felt tears burning in them again, this time in relief. When she opened them she noticed he did look nervous and uncomfortable. She smiled at him warmly.
"There's a place close to where I'm living."
He smiled back. "That sounds delightful."
~.~
It was what was considered in this time, a retro bar. There were tables and chairs and an actual wooden bar that ran along the far wall with stools in it. There were no conveyers, moving parts, and the music was also retro from back in the days when there were musicians who played instruments instead of computer generated melodies.
Caroline sat there nursing her Manhattan while Klause had a scotch and they spoke of inconsequential things that had happened over the past two decades; changes in politics, climates, and technology. The conversation flowed naturally and easily. Caroline found herself completely relaxed. He was different, he smiled a bit easier, laughed a bit more freely. There was still a darkness to him and she was certain he was still very dangerous, but something seemed to have rounded him out.
There was a break in the conversation and the music changed to an old song from the 1970's Southern Cross, by Crosby, Stills and Nash.
Caroline smiled. "I don't know why, but I love this song."
They were quiet for a few minutes listening to it. Caroline looked over at an older man who was just getting up to leave, when she looked back at Klaus he was looking at her intently as if trying to look inside her.
"Not that this hasn't been pleasant," he stated, "But I feel the need to ask 'why'."
Caroline took a sip of her drink, suddenly feeling nervous. "Why?" She questioned back.
He got a slight smile on his face. "Yes, Caroline, why? Why the sudden interest in catching up? I can't help but wonder if the Salvatores and Elena aren't hiding somewhere with a white oak. Or if you have a friend suffering from a werewolf bite."
"I haven't seen Elena, or Stefan or Damon for over 15 years." Caroline said stiffly, she looked away from him for a second and took a breath. "And I don't have any friends suffering from werewolf bites…or any friends at all, for that matter."
He cocked his head and stared at her. She looked down unable to meet his eyes and continued.
"I tried for a while to fit in with the human crowd, but that always ended quickly. Too much hiding I could never really connect with anyone. I tried making friends with other vampires, but since I'm still on the non human diet, I didn't really fit in there either. The vampires I have met who don't feed on humans, were almost religious about it and I really didn't feel too comfortable around them."
She glanced up at him. "I tried traveling for a while, someone told me there was so much in the world to see." A small smile crossed her face before it faded. "But traveling alone, I felt like a ghost. I found myself watching all these people interact with each other, in different countries, different continents. It just made me feel more alone." She shrugged and picked up her drink. "I finally came back to the states and just got a degree and the job at the gallery and I work and I occasionally come here, and I go home, to an insane cat who is my only company. And that's it." She finished the drink and signaled the bartender to bring her another. If she was going to do this, she needed a little bit more liquid courage. "Did you ever read that poem, by Mark Strand, Keeping Things Whole?"
He smiled sadly and nodded, then began to recite. "In a field, I am the absence, of field. This is, always the case. Wherever I am, I am what is missing. When I walk, I part the air, and always, the air moves in, to fill the spaces, where my body's been. We all have reasons, for moving. I move, to keep things whole."
She swallowed thickly, he recited that beautifully. It made her heart hurt. "That's me." She whispered.
He reached out and took her hand. "Its not easy to feel alone all the time." He said quietly. "I understand."
The bartender, brought them both another drink. She stared at his hand lightly stroking hers. "Its not the same though."
He pulled back quickly and she looked up at him in alarm. His eyes were cold, glaring at her. "Of course not." His voice was clipped, "because evil monsters don't feel, correct? And there is no forgetting that."
"That I wasn't…I didn't mean it like that…." She stuttered. "What I wanted to say…"
"Don't bother." He threw some credits on the table and stood up to leave.
"WAIT!" She jumped up and grabbed his arm. "I meant its not the same because I've only felt like this for a few decades. I can't imagine what it would be like to be alone for a millennia." He stopped and looked down at her, his face was still set in stone, but he didn't leave.
"I'll tell you why I asked you here, but it's hard. Will you come with me? I want to show you something, maybe then you'll understand better."
He watched her carefully. "It's not a trick, it's not a plan, just please." She said desperately.
He nodded. She turned back and grabbed her drink downing it in one long swallow. "Ok, let's go."
They left the bar and turned onto the street. It was late and things were quiet for the city. "After you left, things calmed down in Mystic Falls. Suddenly, all we were left with were ourselves. There weren't any more supernatural dramas. There was just the day to day living, most of which revolved around Elena. Elena with emotions, Elena without emotions, the drama between her and Damon and Stefan, Bonnie quit magic. She didn't want to, but she had to. They had to bind her powers. Everyone started drifting apart. I don't know, I just didn't care so much about all of it. Bonnie and I stayed close for a while, but then she left. It was too hard for her to be around supernaturals and remember what it was like to have magic. Last I heard she was married with kids. She may have passed on now, I don't know." They walked up to a building a few blocks down from where the bar was and she quickly punched in a code to unlock the door. "My mom was killed about five years after I left Mystic Falls and after her funeral I never went back. As time went on, I started seeing things differently. I could understand where we were wrong in the things that happened. How are actions created the problems just as much as yours did." She led him to the elevator and punched the button for the 6th floor. He had been silent this entire time, just watching her. "After a while, though, they why's didn't even matter. So much started to fade, the importance of all of it, the critical nature of it all."
The doors opened and he followed her out. "Other things started to stand out, as more time went on the things I actually remembered and would think about weren't what I expected. " She came to a door and pulled out a key card. "It's a bit disorganized, I wasn't really planning on guests." She opened the door and gestured for him to come inside and then she continued. "There were a few times, that the loneliness I told you got so bad I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand myself or living, but then I would remember." She put her coat down across the back of the kitchen table. There was a wall with a large opening that led to a living room by the view of the sofa, beyond that were windows facing out into the city. She turned to face him nervously; it appeared as if she had run out of words.
"Remember what?" He prompted her.
She turned and walked away into the living room. He followed her. She stood beside the sofa. "I would remember what you told me that night. The first night you saved my life. I remembered what you told me the night of the ball. I remembered the story you told me about the humming bird. I remembered all of our conversations. They gave me hope." She gestured helplessly to the wall. He looked over and then saw it. He looked back at her.
"You kept it?" He all but whispered. Her cheeks burned bright red.
"Yes." He walked up to the picture he had given her, so long ago, the picture he had drawn after the ball. It was obviously worn as if she had carried it with her for a long time, there were permanent crease marks in it, but now it was matted and framed on her wall, directly across from her sofa in her living room.
He turned to look at her stunned. "Caroline…"
She interrupted him before he could go any farther, "Look, I know this probably seems crazy and maybe I just made more into some stupid memories than I should. I know how much time has gone by and I'm not asking you to still feel the same way about me, because I don't really even know you, so it wouldn't be real even if you did." He started moving towards her but stopped as she struggled with what she was going to say. "I just thought that if I ever saw you again, I wanted…well, I was hoping…" She sighed. "Could we be friends?"
He just stared at her. Emotions flickered across his face, but they came and went so fast she couldn't tell what they were. She began to get embarrassed suddenly realizing how much word vomit had just come out of her mouth. She turned away and stared out the windows. God, she must be an idiot. 20 years and she was still acting like a teenager. She had spent so much time clinging to those memories that now he was here, she was trying to cling to him in the same way.
Of course he didn't want anything to do with her anymore. What had he told her once? She was filled with light? Now she was filled with loneliness grasping onto memories from 20 years ago. She was a fool. She had to figure out how to get out of this. The fact that her last dream, her last hope for this life was gone, she would deal with that later, when she was alone, now she just had to….
"Friends then?" His voice sounded hoarse as it cut through her thoughts. She spun around staring at him. He smiled at her, he looked almost shy. She felt her heart skip a beat.
She let out an incredulous laugh, suddenly feeling lighter than she had in years. "Friends." She said, smiling. "Would you like something to drink?" She asked.
"All right." He agreed.
Just then there was a light mew. He looked down to see a feline creature come out.
"What is that?"
"I told you, all I have is a crazy cat for company."
"She has no fur on her legs or stomach."
"She pulls it out, the vet says it's a nervous condition."
"Most cats don't like me too much. They can sense the werewolf." At that the cat walked up to him and started pawing and mewing at his leg.
"She's not most cats." Caroline said with a grin. "Her name is Ophelia."
"How appropriate." He said dryly.
"C'mon, let's see what I have here to drink."
~.~
2 years later….
Caroline got home from work in a miserable mood. She came into her apartment and of course Ophelia came out to greet her. She threw her purse on the chair poured a glass of wine and slumped on her couch.
Just then there was a beeping from her Ipad. A smile lit up her face, as she snatched it up, bad mood completely forgotten. She pushed the button and there he was.
"You're early today."
"I know, luv. I hope its not a bad time."
"NO! No, I mean. I just got home and it was a bad day at work. This is a nice surprise."
"Well, I'm happy I could make your day a bit better."
"You always do."
"What happened today?"
"We got a new sous chef. He's just terrible. Apparently, his uncle is one of the partners, so skill doesn't make a difference."
Caroline had given up the art world and decided to go to culinary school not long after her reunion with Klaus. He teased her mercilessly for studying something that was completely unnecessary for her since she was a vampire. She finally got through school and got a job a great restaurant and it was going good until today.
"Would you like me to come eat him?" She giggled.
"No, we've discussed this, no eating my professors, or classmates, or coworkers."
He gave a large fake sigh. "Compel him?"
"No, no compulsion either." She laughed and settled in on the couch with the Ipad on her lap. "So, what are you up to today? Terrorizing the masses? Torturing innocent children?" She teased.
"Alas, its been a slow day here. No terrorizing or torturing."
"Really? Wow, you must be bored."
"I did put a young werewolf pup in his place last night, but he so young and uncontrolled I let him live. I think killing him would actually have heart my credibility as an evil villain."
"Well, we can't have that, can we?"
"Most definitely not."
Caroline never asked him to change his ways, or who he was, she found that time had done that, what a thousand years before Mystic Falls didn't teach him, somehow he learned in the past twenty years. She knew he still fed off of humans, but he told her that most times he didn't kill them. He told her that after breaking the hybrid curse, there really wasn't anything else that he HAD to do, he'd spent most of his time wandering, occasionally he would get involved in some high risk business deal, enjoying crushing his opponents with wealth and power instead of supernatural strength.
Caroline sensed that wasn't the whole story. She knew him right after he broke the hybrid curse. Something else had to have happened to make him change his ways. He seemed much more at peace with himself. He laughed easier, he smiled more and there was barely any sign of the tight control and underlying anger that once was his constant companion.
"So, what's on the agenda for this evening for you, luv?" He asked.
"Well, I'm thinking Ophelia and I are gonna curl up with some movies."
"You spend too much time with that cat."
"Hey," She protested. "I let you take her to the witch, she isn't possessed, or evil."
"She's not supernatural. I still maintain she's evil."
As if she knew she was being discussed, Ophelia jumped up on Caroline's chest.
"And there she is."
"She misses you."
"Really? Misses terrorizing me, you mean?"
"Oh, c'mon the most powerful being on the planet isn't scared of a little kitty cat, is he?"
"Quite honestly, yes."
She laughed.
Their relationship, even after two years was still firmly in the realm of friendship. There were a few times, where Caroline felt that it would be so easy to take it farther, but she still wasn't sure. After their reunion, they started slow. Klaus didn't live in the city, he had only been visiting for few days. They had spent every day he was in town together getting to know each other. It had been so refreshing. Caroline had been happier than she could remember. She didn't have to hide who she was, she was with someone who knew and accepted her. Even though in the past they hadn't exactly sat down and had many long conversations, the history they shared led to a level of comfort with each other. It made conversations now so much easier. It even made silence comfortable.
They had exchanged numbers after that first visit. But after he left Caroline wasn't certain she would hear from him. She felt the loneliness creep back in the night he left, her apartment suddenly seemed very. Then, the day after he left, he called her, just to let her know he had returned to his current home safe. He seemed a bit hesitant on the call and she was probably a bit too effusive in her enthusiasm, but after that initial awkward call, they spoke daily. Some conversations were a few moments, checking in, other lasted hours. Caroline felt as though she was coming back to herself. The smile she had lost so long ago, began to reappear and instead of wandering the city like a ghost, she wandered with Klaus, suddenly fascinated with the sights, smells and the people.
At first, he came in to the city every few months, then once a month and now lately he was here about every other week. He always claimed it was to take care of some business deal, but Caroline noticed he rarely left her side except when she was in class, so she thought, just maybe he was coming to see her. The last few times had stayed with her, in her spare room, instead of heading back to his hotel for a few hours of sleep before they met up again. The last time he stayed, he woke up in the middle of the night with Ophelia on his chest, he swore she had her paw in his mouth and was looking down at him making chomping noises.
Yes, things were firmly in the realm of friendship, but Caroline was starting to want more. Unfortunately, she didn't know how he felt. She knew once upon a time he had been in love with her, but now, there was never a sign that those feelings still lingered. Occasionally, she'd see something in his eyes that gave her a spark of hope, but he never acted on it or gave any indication it was still there.
"There is another reason I'm calling this early." Klaus' voice interrupted her musings.
"Ok?" Caroline said.
"It seems Rebekah has gotten herself into a bit of trouble and I need to go help her out."
"Oh, ok."
"I may not be in touch for a few days."
"Oh." Caroline felt a pang, but pushed it down quickly. "Well, if Rebekah needs you, I'm sure it's important."
"I'm sure it's not important, but she is my sister. I just didn't want you to worry, if you didn't hear from me."
"You don't owe me any explanations for what you do. I mean we're just friends." The words came automatically to her, but she noticed they tasted like ash in her mouth.
"Right, friends." Did his voice sound extra dry when he said that? "Well, I'll let you get to your movies with the cat then."
"Ok. Have a good night."
"You too." Was he being curt with her?
He went to hang up.
"So wait!" He stopped at her voice.
"Yes?"
"A day or two, you think?"
She saw his eyes soften. "It shouldn't be more than that. I'll call you as soon as I can."
"Ok." She looked down at the cat. "You know how much Ophelia would miss you."
"Well, we can't have that can we? Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Goodnight, and Klaus, be careful."
"Always."
They hung and she sat on the couch for a while just thinking. "I miss you too." She whispered.
~.~
4 days later
Caroline came home and threw her things. That stupid kid at work was getting worse. It was pouring down rain and she had decided to take public transportation to work today which meant she got soaked on the way home and she STILL hadn't heard from Klaus.
Four days. FOUR! He said it would only take a day or two and it was well over that. She was angry at him for making her worry like this. She was terrified something had happened to him. She had no way to track him down and even if she could, what chance would she have against something that could stop two Originals.
What if he just got sick of her and this was his way of an exit strategy?
She swallowed. She wasn't going to think like that. If she hadn't heard from him by tomorrow evening she was going to go find him. Even if she had to call Damon or Stefan or one of her old friends and make them help her.
Because that would go over so well after decades.
Caroline sat on her sofa and hugged her knees, while staring up at the drawing him made. He had to be ok, he just had to be. Tears came out of nowhere, overwhelming her and she broke down crying.
The beeping of her Ipad woke her up. She had fallen asleep, crying, at some point. She felt headachey and disoriented, from the crying fit she had. She picked up the pad and didn't recognize the number. The time said it was about 3:30am.
She turned on the sound, but not the video. "Hello?" Her voice sounded scratchy and tired.
"Hello, love."
"Klaus." She quickly turned on the video forgetting she was just woken up after crying for hours.
She gasped when she saw him, his face was bruised and cut up.
"Oh my god, are you ok?"
"Its nothing to worry about. I'll heal soon enough." He looked at her. "Are you ok? You look upset? Has something happened?"
Suddenly she realized how she must look. She blushed bright red. "I'm fine."
"You are obviously not fine. What's happened? Do you want me to come there?" He looked like he just went ten rounds with a bear and was worried about her because she had been crying. She felt her heart beat a little faster. Maybe she should finally let him know how her feelings had changed.
"No, its nothing. I was just …" her voice trailed off, she didn't know what to say. The words seemed stuck in her throat.
"Caroline?" He prodded. "Tell me what's going on!"
She shook her head. "I was worried ok. You said you'd be gone a day or two, it was four. Five now!"
A strange look came over his face, he looked regretful and almost pleased at once. "I'm sorry I made you worry, luv. Things got a bit out of hand, my sister managed to eat the brother of a very powerful witch and brought down a whole coven of witches. I had to call in Elijah to get her out. I called you as soon as I could. I'm sorry I woke you up and I'm sorry I made you worry."
"I'm glad you called me. I was getting ready to come try and track you down if I didn't hear from you by tomorrow."
"I'm ok. You know I'm invincible." He joked.
She smiled. It felt so good to talk to him, to see him, but…it wasn't enough. The past few days made her realize how important he was to her. She wanted to see him in person. In the past year, they had started actually sharing a quick hug when he arrived or when he left. Now, she wanted to see him just to feel his arms wrapped around her.
"Do you think you'll be coming to town soon?" She asked, with hope.
He hesitated. "There's still some things we have to tie up here. I probably won't be able to get away until the end of the month. Unless you need me…"
"Take care of what you have to, I'm fine." She said, trying not to let her disappointment show. Then she brightened. "The end of the month? The Solstice Ball is on the 21st. It's a like a big open air ball in the park. Everyone dresses up, the restaurants set up booths with food and drink and there's dancing all night. My restaurant has a booth."
"So you'll be busy with work then?"
"No, they actually gave me tickets to go since we are donating food." She paused, she could do this. The worst that could happen is he'd say no. "Would you like to go with me?"
He froze for moment. "Caroline, let me be clear here, are you asking me to go with you, as your date?"
She blushed, but refused to back down. "I am."
A huge smile lit up his face, she felt her heart stop beating for a moment, and her insides warm up. "I will be there."
"Really?"
"After all this time, do you still not realize?" He whispered.
She reached out and touched the screen lightly with her finger tips. "I think I'm starting to." He closed his eyes briefly.
"I could kill Rebekah myself for creating this mess and making me stay here." He said, his voice sounded thick.
"Well, hurry up and take care of it, so we can go on our date."
He looked away from the screen. "Where we're at in South America, the remainder of the coven has run off into the jungle. One of the last frontiers without technology. I'm afraid I'm going to be out of touch for a bit again."
"You can't just let them go?" She asked.
"If I could, I would, just so I could get there that much sooner, but it doesn't seem like a good idea, they've sworn revenge. It would only be a matter of time."
She felt tears burning her eyes and looked down so he wouldn't see them.
"Caroline, I'm so sorry. I promise, if there was a way, I'd leave it and come straight to you, but Rebekah fell for this idiot and then he had the nerve to try and bleed her. She had no choice but to kill him and now the coven is coming after all of us. I doubt very much they could do anything with the blood they collected from her, but it isn't a chance I can take."
"I understand. I do. I just don't have to like it." She said sadly.
"I'll call as often as I can. I'll be there as soon as I can and we will be having that date on the 21st if I have to burn this jungle to the ground to finish this."
"All right. Just promise you'll be careful."
"I will."
"You said that the last time and look at you."
"You've given me even more reason, I have to make sure I'm looking pretty for our date."
She smiled. "I'll let you go, get on with your revenge then so you can get back here sooner."
"All right, I'll be in touch as soon as possible."
"I miss you."
"I'll be there before you know it."
With that he signed off. She hugged the Ipad to her, as if that could keep him close for moment longer. Just two weeks. That's all, then he would be here and finally, she was ready and they could get their start.
~.~
It was the slowest two weeks of her existence and it had only been 10 days. He called when he could, he was completely healed up, but so far they had no luck tracking down the missing coven. It seemed they were getting help in the form of a werewolf pack that lived there, deep in the jungle. Elijah and Rebekah were still with him. He called whenever he could find time and a signal. It seemed that his feelings for her were still there and no their conversations were loaded with flirtations and innuendos. Rebekah had started teasing them both mercilessly during these calls. It was annoying to say the least, but Caroline was just happy to see him and hear him. Since she had made up her mind, he was all she thought about. She was nervous and excited all rolled into one. She spent a small fortune on the dress to wear for their date. Only a few more days and he'd be here.
Her Ipad beeped at her, he was calling in.
"Please tell me its over and you are heading this way." She said with a bright smile. It faded immediately at the look on his face.
"Its over." He affirmed.
"What's happened? Are Rebekah and Elijah ok?"
"They're fine." He smiled at her concern for his siblings, but it faded quickly.
"I have to tell you something." He said seriously.
"Klaus, what is it?" She had a horrible feeling, something was about to fall apart.
"The pack hiding the coven, we managed to declare peace, but their leader, it was Tyler."
"What?"
"It was Tyler, Caroline." He watched her while she stared at him, like she didn't understand. Tyler, her ex boyfriend. Her last real boyfriend. She had only engaged in brief flings since leaving Mystic Falls. Klaus had killed his mother and drove him out of town promising to kill him. All this time later he had still been hiding, living in fear?
Wait, did Klaus kill him?
She stared at him, not knowing what to say or do. She wasn't going to ask. She wouldn't ask. She couldn't face the answer.
"When will you be here?" Her voice came out wooden.
"I'll be there by the 21st, if you still want me to?" His voice sounded so hesitant.
"Ok, good. I got a really great dress." She could hear the words coming out, they sounded so stiff, she didn't know what she was doing. Did he kill Tyler?
"Caroline…"
"No." She said firmly, looking up to meet his eyes. "We'll talk about it when you get here."
He sighed, he looked so sad. She was certain she knew he was going to tell her he murdered Tyler.
"All right, love. I'll be there soon."
"Ok."
"Goodbye Caroline."
She looked up at the sound of his voice, it sounded so final.
"I'll see you soon."
But he was already gone and she felt so alone again.
~.~
The night of the ball had come and Caroline stood looking at herself in the mirror. She hadn't heard from Klaus since that night, but she was still determined to figure out a way to make this work. Maybe he had killed Tyler in self defense. He wouldn't really kill him for revenge after all this time? What would she do if he had killed Tyler out of revenge? Could she be with him? Could she really let him go?
So many thoughts, and no answers. She had barely slept in the past few days, just running things over and over in her mind. She felt slightly ashamed that even with all this going on, she just wanted to see him, to talk to him. She was distinctly NOT thinking about the fact that he was late or that the last time they talked it sounded so final. He wouldn't let her down.
There was a knock at her door and her face lit up. In that moment, she knew, no matter what had happened they would work it out. It wouldn't be instant and it wouldn't be easy, but she had worked too hard at this and he meant too much to her. They would work through this.
She almost ran to the door in her excitement to see him. She threw it open. "You're late…" The words died off her lips and she stood there in shock.
"About 23 years late, I think." Tyler Lockwood stood there in a tuxedo smiling at her.
"Tyler, what are you doing here?"
"Can I come in?"
"Um, sure." She stood back and let him enter. She scanned the hallway to see if there was anyone else out there, but it appeared Tyler was alone. When she turned around, he pulled her into a tight hug.
"Its so good to see you Care." He whispered to her. "You are so beautiful."
"Its good to see you too, Tyler." She pulled away after a few seconds. "What are you doing here, after all this time?"
"You are never going to believe this, Klaus finally told me I was free."
"He did?" She couldn't stop the smile on her face.
"Yup. He found me in the jungle down in South America, he was hunting down some witches. I thought he was going to kill me, but he didn't. He told me that enough time had passed, that I was free."
"That's wonderful."
"Yeah, but apparently he's still got that creepy obsession with you. He told me right where to find you and even to dress up for tonight, so I could surprise you."
"Wait, what?"
"Yah, creepy. Don't worry, now that I'm back, I'll show you how to live off the radar so he won't be able to stalk you like that."
"He sent you here? He told you to come take me out tonight?"
"Yeah, he said he wanted to make things right. I guess parenthood must have mellowed him."
"WHAT?! Parenthood? Tyler, what are you talking about?"
"Yeah, you didn't hear? Even I heard about it on the run. Klaus had a baby about 20 years ago, that's why he left Mystic Falls for New Orleans."
"That can't be true. How would that even be possible."
"Apparently, the werewolf side can mate with other werewolves." Tyler chuckled evilly, but then just looked at her.
Caroline walked away blankly, towards her living room. He never told her. They had talked almost every day for two years and he had never told her. It made sense though, the changes she had sensed in him. He was a father. He was a father and he never told her.
"I don't want to talk about Klaus though." Tyler continued, following her oblivious to her despair. "I know this is a lot to take Caroline, but its all going to be ok again. I'm free, we can pick up where we left off and I'll make sure he can't keep tabs on you like this. We can go anywhere. Where would you like to go? I have a pack we can stay with in Alaska, one in Montana, I know some folks in Eastern Europe."
She forced herself to turn around and smile at him, hiding her heartache. "Tyler, I'm so happy you are free, I am, but I'm not the same person you knew 20 years ago. So much has changed, I don't even know you anymore, I'm not going to pick up my life and leave with you."
"But its our second chance to be together…"
"No, its your chance to live your life. Its not our chance. Besides, its so naïve to think you can pick up with someone after 20 years right where you left off." A bitter smile twisted her face. "You can take years trying to get to know them again, to be certain of how you feel and how they feel about you and still get it wrong."
She looked at something over his shoulder, before bringing her eyes back to his. "I'm sorry Tyler, I moved on a long time ago and I'm really not ready to go backwards. We can always be friends, but that's it."
"Is there someone else?" He gave a bitter chuckle. "That would make sense. A last joke from him, to make me a fool."
Again her eyes flicked to the wall. "There was someone else, but that was joke too." She turned back to the window. Tyler glanced behind him to see what she kept looking at.
"What the hell?" He asked, immediately recognizing the picture Klaus had drawn for her. "Seriously, Caroline, what the HELL?"
"Its really none of your business." She snapped.
"None of my business? The guy who murdered my mother and forced me to live on the run for decades is involved with my girlfriend and its none of my business?"
"No and it hasn't been your business since you left, but I'm not his girlfriend. And while we're blaming everything on Klaus, who tried to kill him? Who sat there and taunted him while he was staring at his brother's remains. Yes, Klaus did some horrible and unforgiveable things, but so did you."
"I don't believe this, you want to defend Klaus to me? Have you lost your mind?"
"You could have just left it alone. You broke the sire bond, instead you believed that lying whore and got all the others killed in attempt to prove you were alpha!"
Tyler laughed, "Oh that lying whore, you mean the mother of his child?" He gave her a twisted smile and Caroline grabbed a hold of a chair to keep from falling. "You never meant anything to him, Caroline. Especially if you didn't know about that!"
"Tyler, I think you need to leave now."
"Really? Still going to stand by him?" He grabbed the picture off the wall. "Klaus and his romantic drawings?" He mocked.
"Just get out." She hissed. He threw the picture against the wall, shattering the glass and breaking the frame.
"I'll go. You're right, you aren't the same person, not if you can have feelings for Klaus. I can't stand to look at you anymore." With that he left, slamming the door behind him. Caroline looked at broken frame on the wall. Ophelia came out and mewed piteously, upset over the raised voices.
Caroline walked to her Ipad and quickly punched in Klaus. A low beep came across then the message. "I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach is no longer on this network." She looked at the tablet and tried again. Once again the same message came across. She threw the tablet across the room at the same wall the picture had shattered against, the broken pieces landing on the floor together.
She walked into her bedroom and pulled out her suitcase. It was time to leave.
~.~
Klaus knew it was stupid. He knew he was torturing himself, but he just had to see her one last time. She told him she bought an amazing dress, he wanted to see her in it. He just wanted to have that memory. He gave her Tyler back, she could be reunited with her first love, but he wanted the memory of seeing her in the dress she bought with him in mind.
He hoped this and the memories of the time they had together would be enough. He honestly wasn't sure what he was going to do without her.
Two years ago when he walked into that gallery and saw her again, he wasn't prepared for the consequences of that night. His feelings for her had never faded, but he believed that despite what he told her at graduation she would never come to care about him, especially not if she found out about Haley and the baby. When he saw her standing there surrounded by those pretentious snobs and that horrible artwork, he truly believed she was a mirage. At first, he had a drink with her out of curiosity, and maybe a little bit of a thought of revenge for the way she had used him in the past. He had noticed immediately, she was not as carefree and light hearted as she had been, there was a sadness to her now, he thought that would have killed his interest in her. Instead he found himself staring at her, wanting to bring the light back to her eyes. He never hoped to imagine what she was going to say that night, that she kept his picture, but even more she kept his words to her. She thought about him.
Granted he was disappointed when she asked to be his friend, but it was the chance he had been waiting for and he wouldn't turn it down. The past two years were the best of his existence. He loved her beyond anything he ever imagined he could feel. He wanted to tell her about his son, but he didn't know how. The boy was in his 20's now and was out on his own. His relationship with Hayley was barely tolerable. They finally agreed to stay as far away from each other as possible to avoid actually killing each other. He had planned on telling Caroline tonight, he didn't want any lies or secrets tainting the beginning they were going to have. The chance they were finally going to get. He loved her so much, he just was worried about hurting her.
That was also why he had to tell her when he found Tyler. That was why he had to step back and let the two of them be together. If he let her go and let them be together, he would never have to worry about when she would decide to leave him for the boy. He was going to do the right thing and put them back together on his own.
He'd sort the rest out later. He'd figure out how to keep going on in this world without her light and beauty. He'd find a way to keep going through this existence without her by his side. Truthfully, he never really had her, so how could the possibility of not being with her cut so deep? Maybe he'd ask Elijah to dagger him for a century or two just until the pain wore off.
He was contemplating this when he saw the door to her apartment building slam open, from his spot across the street he watched as Tyler stormed out angrily and ripped off his tie and jacket, throwing them in the gutter. He watched as he moved out of sight down the road.
What had happened? Did they fight? Was something wrong?
He was torn, he had vowed to leave her alone. He wasn't going to interfere with their reunion, but what if something went wrong?
What if the boy bit her?
He wasn't even thinking as he moved, he was across the street and up the stairs in a flash. Her door was shut and he knocked loudly.
No answer.
He knocked again.
No answer.
Panic in his chest, he pushed against the door forcing it to open under his vampire strength and was in the living room.
"Caroline?" He called, looking around. He saw his picture and her Ipad in pieces on the ground.
"Caroline?" He called again rushing to her bedroom; he stopped in the doorway at the sight of her. Her suitcase was out, she was there in an old Tshirt and leggings, methodically packing some things. There was something shiny in rags on the ground.
"Caroline, sweetheart, are you ok?" He grabbed her arm to turn her to look at him, since she seemed to not even notice he was here.
She jerked her arm back and looked up at him, he could see tear marks on her face, causing the make up she had not yet removed to run. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes.
"No, I'm not ok. I want you to leave." She turned back and resumed her packing.
"What? What's happened? Did he hurt you? I'll kill him if he did." The slap across his face rocked his face more from the surprise of it than the actual force.
"Did he hurt me? The only one who hurt me was you. Now get out of my house." Caroline growled and resumed her packing.
He stared at her stunned. "But I tried to put you back together with your first love."
She turned to look at him. "And who asked you to do that?" She demanded. "Because it sure as hell wasn't me. I think I was pretty clear in what I wanted, from pretty much the beginning, I was pretty clear. I asked you to be my friend and then when I realized how I felt I asked you to go out with me. I don't know how I could have been more clear about what I wanted." She threw something in the suitcase and turned to him with tears spilling over her cheeks.
"Exactly why did you agree to go out with me and then pull this? Was it fear? You weren't interested? You could have just said you just wanted to be friends? Or was Tyler right was this some game of revenge? "
He opened his mouth to answer, but she cut him off.
"You have a child with Hayley." She yelled. "How could you not tell me that? How could you keep something like this from me?"
"I wanted to tell you…"
"You know what? I don't care anymore. I don't care about you. I don't care that I made a fool of myself and thousands of dollars on a dress so I would look perfect for you. I don't care about any of it. The only thing I want is for you to leave and to never, NEVER, come near me again."
"Caroline…" He tried again.
"LEAVE!" She ordered and he obeyed her turning and walking to the bedroom door.
Then he stopped and growled.
"No, you are going to hear me out and what I have to say." He turned yelling at her.
"Oh, really? Is that why you disconnected your network account so I couldn't reach you? Because you were so anxious for me to hear what you had to say?" She screamed right back at him.
"I thought I would make it easier for your reunion with Tyler. I could see it in your face the night I told you he was alive, that you wanted to be with him."
"The only thing in my mind that night was wanting to know if you actually killed him and how I was going to deal with that, because even though I didn't want him back in my life, I didn't know if I was going to be ok with you killing him." She shook her head. "This doesn't matter. All that matters is I have been nothing but open and honest with you and you don't even know how to do that with me. How do you not tell me you had a child?" A sob escaped her and she turned away for a moment before getting herself back under control and turning back. "If you thought I wanted to be with Tyler why didn't you just ask me instead of setting all this up and then planning on disappearing?" She stared at him at him waiting for an answer, he looked confused like he had never even considered this. She shook her head in disgust. "Just leave. Go find someone else to play with."
That brought him out of his stupor. "I never played with you. I have always cared about you, I waited on your signals, waited to see how you wanted to do this…."
"You do not lie about things like children with skanky whores to people you care about. You do not run away from people you care about!" She interrupted again, he growled at her.
"What was I supposed to do, come back here with my heart on my sleeve, desperately in love with you, and tell you that I happened to father a child with one of the people you hate most in the world. And then just wait for you to tell me you wanted Tyler now that he was back? Was I supposed to just go back to being your friend then? Well, I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to be able to do that, not after all this, I'd rather just disappear from your life completely."
"Oh please, I spent two years making sure I knew what I wanted. Two years, getting to know you and falling in love with you and making sure it was real before I asked you to take me out on a date. I knew what I wanted and WHO SAID I WANTED TYLER! I told you the first night we saw each other again, that I couldn't even remember my first kiss with Tyler, so how could you think I wanted to rush right to him again? But again, why would you make this about Tyler?" She picked up a vase on the table and threw it at him, he moved out of the way but it crashed into the wall. "YOU LIED TO ME! You lied to me about something like a child! How dare you stand there and question MY feelings." She grabbed a lamp this time and threw it at him. Again he managed to duck out of the way. "You wanted to disappear from my life completely? Well, why don't you? Just go." She yelled.
"You fell in love with me?" He asked.
"What do you think we've been doing the past two years?!" She screamed. "I've been falling in love with someone who didn't even care about me enough to tell me about the important things in his life."
"You said you wanted to be friends." He said.
"How many friends do you know talk every single day? I told you everything. You were the first one I wanted to talk to when something good happened, the first one I wanted to talk to when I had a bad day, I let you be here when I first woke up in the morning and see me in my grumpy pre caffeine glory. I…" Her words were cut off and she found herself suddenly pressed against the wall. She was aware of being encased in warmth and felt his lips insistent upon hers. After so much time and so much wanting to be with him, she couldn't help but to wrap her arms around him and kiss him back with everything she had. One of his hands wound up buried in her hair, while the other wrapped around her waist until they were pressed together.
He left her lips briefly to stare into her eyes. "Caroline, I'm sorry. Please forgive me." He whispered. "Please stay with me, I promise I won't leave like that again. I'll share everything with you. I love you."
Tears filled her eyes. "How can I trust you, when you didn't trust me?" She cried. "I love you, but I know that if we are just going to keep hurting each other its not going to work."
"Please, this is my first try at this, I'll get better, just be patient with me." He begged, wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"What about Hayley? What about your child?" She whispered.
"The honest truth is, I slept with her before I left Mystic Falls. I found her when I went to New Orleans and found out she was pregnant. I stayed to raise him. I hate the bitch and she hates me. The only reason she's still alive is because my son demands it. And he's wonderful, he's in his 20's, I've told him about you. I told him everything about you. Hayley never meant anything to me. I thought about every day for the past 20 years, I still do."
She stood there crying, her entire body shook with her sobs. He pulled her away from the wall and sat down on the small spot on her bed that didn't have luggage on it. He held her in his arms while she sobbed. He whispered to her over and over again. "I'm so sorry, Caroline. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I left. I love you." He had no idea how long they stayed like that while she cried and he whispered over and over to her. He crying finally slowed to slight whimpers. She took a deep breath and then stood up. He looked up at her waiting.
She didn't look at him, but began opening drawers and taking out her clothes to put in the bag.
"Caroline…" he almost begged.
"I need to go. I need…time. I just don't know." She said quietly.
"Don't do this."
"I spent two years making sure, getting to know you." She repeated again.
"You did get to know me. You know more about me than anyone."
She just shook her head. "I was a fool." She whispered.
In desperation he pulled his mini pad out of his coat. "No, I'll show you." He quickly punched the screen and she could hear the tones of an outgoing call.
"You promised you weren't going to check up on me." A young voice said disapprovingly.
"I'm not checking up on you. Should I be?" Klaus answered, she could hear the smile in his voice, but she didn't look at him.
"No, we're just getting ready to hit the beach."
"Well, before you do, there is someone I want you to meet."
"Really? Do I finally get to me the legendary Caroline?"
"I'd like you to. She's actually a bit upset with me at the moment. She's standing right here, but she's not talking to me."
There was a sigh. "I told you that keeping a 22 year old son a secret was never the way to a woman's heart."
"You sound just like your Uncle Elijah."
"We weren't wrong though, were we?"
"Well, I've managed to make things even worse and as we speak she's standing here packing."
"I don't even want to know, do I?"
Klaus let out a dry chuckle. "Probably not."
"You and Aunt Bekah have a skill at making things go from bad to worse, I swear."
"I was hoping you would be able to talk to her for me. At least let her know that I've told you about her."
"So she can hear us."
"Oh yes, she's standing right here staring at her suitcase because she won't look at me." Caroline glared over at him. "Which is actually preferable than her looking at me with hate."
"Yeah, you can get that from mom…"
Caroline turned around and opened another drawer.
"Not helping…"
"Hello Caroline." He spoke directly to her.
"Hello." She said after a moment, trying to get her voice under control.
"You are a bastard, Dad. You made her cry."
"Something I regret more than anything else I've ever done." Klaus answered.
"Caroline, I don't know what else my father has done, but I do want you to know that he is hopelessly in love with you and if he hasn't done something truly atrocious, you have to forgive him." Caroline didn't say anything, she just stared off into space.
Klaus stood up and offered the ipad to her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and the running make up and took it. The face she saw on the screen reminded her of Hayley. The boy had the same dark hair and facial structure. Then he smiled and she could see Klaus' dimples and the eyes were his.
"You are just as beautiful as Dad said." The boy told her.
She swallowed. "Thank you."
"I'm Henry." He introduced himself. "I want you to know, that I was raised with tales of you for many years. I've seen your face in paintings and drawings he's done over the years, I would know you anywhere."
Caroline cut her eyes to where Klaus stood staring at her.
"I'm sure I'm a mess right now."
"You are still beautiful." Father and son both answered at the same time. A small smile crossed her face.
Henry laughed. "We told him, when he found you, that he needed to tell you everything, but the truth is he was afraid. I know you and my Mom don't get along so well." The snort left Caroline before she could stop it. "I can't defend my mom's past actions, but I can tell you she was a good mom. And I think I was the only thing she and dad ever agreed on."
"Both of my parents were great parents, but I have to tell you, I never saw my dad as happy as he's been the past two years. If you have any feelings for him at all, please give him another chance. I can't promise he won't screw it up, but I do know that you are so very important to him."
Caroline didn't answer, she truthfully didn't know what to say.
Henry laughed again. "You are as stubborn as he is." He said. "I'm going to leave you two to sort this out. The waves are calling to me. Caroline, it was a pleasure to meet you. I hope I get to meet you soon in person."
"It was nice to meet you to." Caroline said automatically, but found the words were actually a lie. She smiled at him and then handed the Ipad back to Klaus. She walked out into her living room and stared out the window while she heard them say their goodbyes.
Klaus entered the living room and stood behind her waiting.
"I take it he's a surfer." She commented.
"He finds the waves very soothing, he says. Although I have a feeling he finds the bikini clad women in New Zealand just as soothing." Klaus said with a smile and a hint of pride.
She turned to face him. "I just need some time. Time to get my head together and make sense of all this."
"I can't give you that time." He answered.
"What?"
He grasped her shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Caroline, I love you. I know I messed up, but I can't give you time. I can't take the chance that you'll wall up your heart against me. I'm not going anywhere until you forgive me. I don't care if it takes another 20 years, because being around you, even if you are angry with me is preferable to being without you."
She could feel her resolve weakening.
"Is there anything else I need to know?" She asked. "Any other secrets you've kept from me?"
"None." He swore.
She closed her eyes. She did love him. He made her feel whole, complete. She didn't really want to be without him. She took a deep breath. She could understand his fear in telling her about his son, however that didn't make it right.
"Its going to take a while for me to trust you again." She stated when she opened her eyes. She saw the way his lit up.
"I promise I will earn your trust."
She stared at him. "I love you, Caroline." He whispered.
"I love you too." She whispered back. He smiled and then pulled her close. As soon as his lips touched hers she melted against him. He cradled her in his arms and she felt his love surrounding her. She knew that she would never again have to worry about the loneliness and depression that had been haunting her for years.
A strange chirping noise interrupted their kiss. They turned and saw Ophelia sitting on the back of the couch with paw in the air like she was reaching out to them, making a strange chirping, meowing noise.
Caroline giggled. "Looks like someone is jealous." She teased.
"Good." Klaus answered and just kissed her again.
A/N: So this was something I wrote a while ago, but never posted. For anyone still waiting for the Epilogue for Selective Memory, I am still working on that. I just felt like I boxed myself in with a few plot points I created and I'm still really unhappy with it. Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoyed this, if you did, let me know. At this point it is just a one shot, but you never know. The poem Keeping Things Whole has always been one of my favorites, but Mark Strand is a wonderful poet and many of his pieces are great and worth a read. I hope everyone has had a great summer!