Daryl whirled around with his crossbow pointed at Carl's chest. 'Jesus, kid! I nearly shot ya! What ya doin' followin' us again?'
'Yeah, son. Why ya trailin' behind us all the time like a bad smell?' Merle had heard Daryl's shout of surprise and come running. He had been quite a way ahead, looking for prey and tracking scat but he thought Daryl might have been in trouble.
'Sorry.' The teenager hunched his shoulders and looked down at the ground, kicking at a stick, then he looked back towards the camp. Of course, they couldn't see it from here...it was a long away beyond the trees. The brothers realised he must have been tracking them and he must have got better at it because they hadn't noticed. Then again, they had been intent on filling the camp's bellies.
'Ya can't creep up on us like that. Shouldn't ya be with ya Dad and Judith?' Daryl asked more gently this time.
Carl evaded the question. 'Can I come with you and Merle? I wanna learn.'
The archer looked at his older brother questioningly.
Merle shrugged and then hissed at him. 'Come on, then. Can't exactly leave ya behind but ya better pray ya ain't scared dinner away otherwise I'll make ya regret taggin' along.'
Daryl scowled at him and put his finger to his lips. The meaning clear. Don't make any more noise.
The boy gave a small smile and tugged behind. He wasn't scared of the older Dixon despite his harsh words. He knew he was safe with them no matter how much Merle grouched and threatened.
They went along in silence but the leader's son's fourteen year old thoughts were whirling around his head. He was determined to ingratiate himself with the Dixons even though his mother wouldn't have approved. When she was alive, she'd always tried to keep him away from them – particularly Merle.
'They ain't our people, Carl. They don't follow the same rules as we do.'
'What's that supposed to mean?' He'd asked.
'It means just stay away from them, sweetheart.'
'But why? I wanna learn to shoot a crossbow like Daryl!'
She had sighed then and tucked him in, her big belly looming over him while the rest of her was so skinny. He remembered worrying about that – his Dad did too. Always telling her to eat more. Some impulse drove him to put his arms around her neck and pull her down to him. She had laughed at that. Next thing he did was put his ear to her stomach, trying to listen to his sister. Lori had told him it was a girl – she was sure. They had all been so happy and excited about the baby...it was like sticking their fingers up at what was wondering out there, rotting and devouring everything in sight.
His mother grew silent then and a frown crossed her features as if at a grim premonition and she grabbed his shoulders.
'Listen, baby. If anythin' happens to me, I want ya to promise me somethin'.'
A chill seized him then at her serious expression.
'What do ya mean? Ya and the baby's gonna be alright...'
'I hope so. But we don't have hospitals or even a proper doctor, somethin' could happen.'
He pushed her away then and turned his back to her. 'Why ya sayin' that?'
She grabbed him then and pulled him to her, grabbing his head fiercely and forcing him to look at her. 'I need ya to promise to look after ya sister and ya Dad if...if somethin' happens to me. And to take care of me if ya Dad isn't there to do it.'
He stared at her, his eyes growing wide with fear and his lips trembled. He knew what she meant by 'take care of her'. She meant stop her coming back as one of them. It was too much responsibility for a thirteen year old boy and felt that he was being slowly crushed by the burden she'd put on him. But he couldn't blame her, she would never have asked him if things had been the way they used to be.
The world had changed and 13 was a man now. Or as good as.
'Please, baby.' She was begging him now and he could never refuse – not her. Never her.
He nodded.
'Good boy.' She rewarded him by a kiss on the cheek.
Still, he was would never have imagined what he'd be called upon to do...had she known? Had she meant he do that?
'Mom.' She turned around before she went out of their tent. 'I love you.'
'I love you, too, baby.'
He held onto that memory. At least he'd known her which Judith never would. But he would tell her about their Mom, how she had sacrificed herself to save her. Give her life. How much she had loved the both of them.
Lost in his bitter-sweet memories, he nearly crashed into the hard back of the younger Dixon when he stopped suddenly, following the lead of his brother.
Daryl turned around and steadied him with one hand, silently put his finger on his lips again to warn him to be quiet. Merle had sighted prey.
Just then a big buck bounded into the little glade they'd come to. He shot it down with his gun and grinned triumphantly at his brother, who clapped him on the shoulder and rubbing his hands.
Carl tried to get into the joyful mood and look forward to the feast tonight but he couldn't rouse the enthusiasm in him. Daryl whooped and did a victory dance, also blushing with excitement and enjoying his brother's success. His brace of half a dozen dead squirrels seemed to dance with him.
Merle grabbed his brother and planted a loud smacker on his lips.
'Come on, boy.' Merle grabbed him by the arm and shoved him none-too-gently in front of them. 'We're gonna fill our bellies tonight. Move.' But he could only drag his feet, dreading going back. He didn't give a shit about the food, he wasn't hungry. In fact, his empty belly seemed to feel more bloated as they got nearer home and his feeling of nausea grew.
Daryl ruffled his hair behind him. 'Ya OK?' They could talk now that the job was done.
'Course he ain't.' Merle snapped behind him.
'Yeah, sorry. Stupid question. I only meant – spoke out of habit, didn't think. I'm sorry, kid.'
Carl shrugged. 'It's OK. I'm OK.' To be honest, one of the reasons he liked spending time with them was they gave him room to think and treated him like normal. Not like they were embarrassed and didn't know what to say to a boy who had just lost his mother in childbirth a few days ago. Not that most people hadn't lost someone, it's just their family had thought they were lucky because they'd been reunited as if by a miracle.
'How's ya Dad holdin' up?' Daryl had a arm wrapped around his shoulders as they walked two abreast on the narrow path but dropped it when he felt the boy stiffen suddenly. For someone who didn't like being touched except by his brother, he touched him a lot lately. But Carl didn't mind. The hunter's heavy grip of him was comforting in a way. Made him feel safe and he wished he hadn't scared Daryl off.
'Uh...he's gettin' better.' He lied when this couldn't be further from the truth. Rick had lost it when Lori died. At least he held and fed Judith now.
His Dad was waiting for him and scooped him up in his arms as soon as he saw them after they gave Carol and the others on dinner duty their spoils. Rick ooked questioningly at the Dixons although he did trust Daryl with his son. They were best friends after all and the archer was unofficially his second-in-command.
Daryl shrugged while Carl looked up at him from under the scoop of his father's arms. 'He went off with you two again?'
Merle shrugged. 'Kid says he wants to learn to hunt but we don't encourage him, if that's what ya mean.'
'That true, Carl?' He let his son go and tilted up his chin. Only Merle noticed the teenager's almost imperciptible flinch at his father's touch and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
'Yeah, Dad. I guess I want to help the camp by learning how to hunt and shoot.'
'Son, ya know ya ain't old enough for that...Judith needs ya and I need ya. Stop bothering 'em when they're workin'.'
Daryl butted in. 'Oh, he ain't no bother. We kinda like havin' him along really.'
'Still, I don't want to lose ya too.' Rick wrapped his arms around his son protectively.
Carl flushed and struggled out of his hold. 'I'm OK, Dad! Can take care of myself!' He stomped off back into the tent he shared with his father and baby sister.
Rick shrugged a little sheepishly and sighed. 'Teenagers.'
'Yeah.' Merle agreed but there was something hard in his voice that seemed to challenge him, making his brother look at him with a little look of surprise.
'Come on, bro.' Merle turned to go ungraciously, tugging Daryl with him. 'Let's help get that meat skinned and cookin' on the fire. Gonna have us a real good feast tonight.'
'We'll be out in a minute to help ya.' Rick offered.
'We can manage by ourselves.' Merle snapped and Rick drew back.
'Sorry, my brother's an ass.' Daryl apologised. 'Come on.' He practically dragged him with him.
When they were out of earshot, he made a 'What the fuck?' gesture at him.
'Well, fuck, that was weird.' Merle only said in explanation.
'What was?' Daryl looked at him with raised eyebrows.
'Didn't ya feel it? The weird father and son vibe?'
'No.' His brother effectively closed off the conversation and grabbed a squirrel from the skinning pile. Fathers and sons were always a touchy subject with him and for good reason. He looked over
at others already working on the buck and the younger kids of the group excitedly gathering wood fire.
'But still...' Merle followed his lead and started on his own squirrel.
'Well, of course it's gonna be weird between them. Rick just lost his wife and went loco for a while. Carl lost his Mom and they got a new baby to look after.
'Hmpf.' His brother snorted, clearly unconvinced.
Later, warm and sated, they went back to their tent on the edge of the camp, near the forest.
'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, baby brother.' Merle called over to him after they got snuggled in their sleeping-bags.
'You too, brother.' He answered and turned his back to him.
Soon they were snoring.
….