A World of Punishment for Fangirls(and the occasional fanboy)
My hand hovered over the cell phone. I debated whether to call/text her or not. I knew she was probably going through the same thing as me. I winced as my fingers twitched towards the phone. Ugh…Even the slightest move sent shots of pain up my arm. My whole body ached. I tried to sit up but quickly slid back down. My heart throbbed and raced off. It felt like my bones were melting…All of my muscles contracted and relaxed by themselves. The pain was horrible. Then, everything went black.
HETALIA UNIVERSE
England said, "The spell is working!"
"Dude, Iggy, I still don't understand what the spell does!" America whined.
"Pipe down, imbecile, and maybe if you spent more time watching and less time stuffing your face and whining, you'd know by now!", England scolded.
"Maybe after this, they'll learn…" Russia said, smiling and giving off some evil aura.
REAL WORLD
I slowly opened my eyes. Then quickly shielded them because the sun was in my face and blinding me.
What…happened last night?
"Ow…" I said. My head was throbbing. Slowly, I got to my feet. Something felt different. I ran my hand through my short hair.
Wait! Short hair? Since when did I have short hair? My hair has always been up to my waist…Did someone cut my hair in the night? No, dumb idea.
I shrugged it off temporarily, and then began walking to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face, still achy from last night. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, and then started to walk away.
"Wait, what?" I whispered. Cautiously, I checked my reflection in the mirror again. "AAAHHHHHHHH!" I screamed. "Oh my God, I'm a man…" I said, shakily. And not just any man… "Mein Gott, I'm Germany!" I exclaimed.
It can't be…but it is…The blonde hair, blue eyes, amazing body build…it's all there!
"How…how is this even possible?" I wondered aloud. "Oh My God, everyone else!" I exclaimed, "They all showed similar signs to me and I know Rose was going through the same thing as me!" "Shit!" I picked up my cell and dialed Rose. She picked up the phone and a shaky, Italy-sounding voice said, "H-hello?"
"Rose?" I asked.
God, this is weird…
"Ve…Yes, it's me..." she whimpered.
"How….how did this…?" I trailed off.
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it's starting to freak me out!" She cried out, "It's weird…no matter what I do or see, everything reminds me of pasta!"
This made me laugh. "Well, that's one way to know you've turned into Italy without looking into a mirror," I said, still chuckling. "But seriously," I said, smile gone, "What should we do? What if someone sees us?"
"That's the funny part…ve…,"she softly said. "When my mom came into my room, she acted indifferent, like she didn't notice anything…ve". "Really?" I asked, incredulous.
"Really…and my brother acted the same way," she said.
"OH GOD…I HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!" I ran out of the bathroom and into my kitchen, where my mom was making breakfast. "Mom, MOM!" I cried out. "What? Is something wrong?" she asked, eyes wide with fear. I took two steps back.
"Y-you mean…you don't see anything wrong?" I was taking deep breaths. "No…should I?" she asked, worry still in her eyes.
"N-no never mind…it was just a stomach cramp…Ahahahahahaha!" I laughed weakly.
"Ok…" she looked confused but didn't question me further. "Don't forget! You have that big Global test today!" she reminded me.
Ugh…that's right…school…Oh boy…
"Y-yeah, sure" I raced back upstairs to my phone, where hopefully Rose was still waiting. "HELLO?" I shouted into the phone.
"OW, ve, that hurt Alex!" she complained. I felt very annoyed all of the sudden, like I wanted to scream at her…
What is this? Ohh right…I guess I'll be having Germany's constant angry mood and annoyance at Italy…great…just great…I sighed.
"So yeah…my mom didn't notice anything either...She still thinks I look like my normal self".
"Ve! This is great! Then no one at school will notice a difference too, and the problem will be solved and we can all have PASTA!" she sounded giddy. She sighed contentedly in her own fantasy of everything being pasta…I sighed again "Rose…the problem WILL NOT be solved and this is no time for pasta!"
"No…pasta?" she shuddered. "Aggh!" I heard her make a sound like a growl. Then Rose went silent. A moment later, I was beginning to wonder if she was still there. "Rose? You there?" I asked.
"Shut up, you potato bastard!" was the reply. "…won't even let me have pasta…" I heard her grumble.
What the hell? What's with the sudden change?
"R-rose?" I asked, confused.
"You heard me, you potato-sucking freak! Shut up and go away!" she snarled at me. What was this? Then it hit me.
OH! Right, she cosplayed as both North AND South Italy! Whatever changed us must be making her change back and forth. "Great…" I moaned. Another perfect feature added to this already perfect day…
Oh crap! I forgot! I have school today! What am I supposed to do?
Then I remembered. "Rose…it's 6:30 A.M….why are you even up so early?" I asked, "Your school doesn't even start until 8:45…"
"What do you think, you moronic bastard? You think I was able to sleep soundly through all that torture shit I was put through last night?" she yelled into my ear, causing me to pull away my cell to save myself from going deaf. Ouch…Annoying as he is, I think I prefer N. Italy over this piece of work… "Um…Rose…I have to go to school" I told her.
"WHAT?" she yelped. "D-don't leave me here like this, y-you bastard!"
"I have to! I have to go…see and check out everyone!" I explained.
"A-alright. I'll let you go now, just don't forget we have chorus today, moron!" she hung up on me.
I exhaled, trying not to lose my temper. "Now…what shall I do about my uniform? I can hardly wear a skirt to school like this…" I muttered to myself. I went to my closet, grumbling. But when I opened it, instead of finding a couple of skirts, I found the boy's uniform pants, with dress shoes below. "Huh…" I wondered.
Well…at least those trottels that did this to me had the consideration to do this… I quickly got dressed, grabbed a granola bar, and then headed off to school.
Oh boy…this'll be interesting…
A FEW DAYS EARLIER…
MONDAY
The morning before classes:
"Hey America!"
"Oh, hey Germany!"
English:
"Hey, what's up Japan? Did you get the vocab homework?"
"Yeah…but it was a little hard…why, do you need any help, Germany?"
Computer:
"Hungary! Did you see that episode of Hetalia where France does the Olympics? It's SO wrong…"
"Yes, unfortunately Germany, my mind was permanently scarred by that…"
In the Hallway:
"Doitsu! I can't talk right now, but I'll talk to you later on AIM, ok?"
"Yep, sure Russia…"
At Chorus; Later on in the Day:
"Italy! England! Ew, France…"
"Heyyy doitsudoitsudoitsudoitsu!"
"Cheerio, Germany!"
"HEY what was the 'ew' for? By the way…hey beautiful…" ;)
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"God, I am SO tired of these…kids acting like us!" England said while sipping his Earl Grey tea.
"Ja, I don't like the idea of girls acting like us men…" Germany exclaimed.
"Ve, I don't think it's bad at all! After all, they're very cute girls! ;)" Italy giggled. "You moronic idiot! How could you like a bunch of girly-girls acting like you, and squealing like a bunch of idiots?" Romano growled.
"Ve…everything is wonderful! As long as there's pasta in the end…" Italy exclaimed gleefully.
"Ah…I agree with Romano, da?" Russia said while emitting some evil aura. "Don't you, Lithuania and Latvia?" "O-oh y-yes Mr. Russia" they replied nervously. Russia's ever-present smile widened, and his evil aura grew stronger. Latvia started whimpering.
"ALRIGHT you fools, it's time to get back on track!" an obnoxiously loud voice exclaimed. "As we know, these cosplayers are annoying us all to no end! Well…almost all of us…" America paused to stare at Italy for a second, who was mesmerized in twirling the pasta in his bowl with a fork, then spoke again "Yeah, so I have come up with a brilliantly awesome plan to put an end to this once and for all!" "I think we should gather up all of Tony's alien friends and have them beam up the kids and take them to a new planet, never to be seen again!" he exclaimed excitedly, looking at each person's face expectantly for a reaction.
"I agree with America-san" Japan said quietly. America's grin widened.
"Gott! WHY CAN'T YOU EVER THINK FOR YOURSELF, JAPAN?" Switzerland scolded him. Japan winced, but said nothing.
"I think America's idea is totally absurd. It'll never work…" England shook his head. America's face fell. "Well maybe England should just use one of his little magic tricks to do something about it!" America mocked him.
"Da, I think that would work." Russia said seriously.
"Seriously, or are you just making fun of me, like THIS ONE over there?" England said, pointing to America.
"Niet, I think this is good idea, da?" he smiled.
"OK, it's settled! I will do a spell, no matter how many fools dare to question my abilities!" he shot a scathing glance at America. "I know just the thing…" he said, with a bit of an evil twinkle in his eye.
REAL WORLD
TUESDAY
Band: 7:15 A.M.
"UGH, it's too early to live" I said groggily.
"Tell me about it" said Lucy.
"Russia- Did you practice the songs over the weekend?" I asked.
"Nope…Ahahaha! Did you, Germany?"
"Nah…" I said, laughing a bit.
"Om, vy mozhete dat mnepapki? (*Can you give me the folders?)" She asked me.
What the hell was that?
"Skazal ya, vy mozhete dat mnepapki?" she repeated.
OK, so apparently I said that out loud…
"What…are you saying?" I asked, confused.
"Ugh, never mind, I'll just get them myself…" she heaved a sigh, and then walked over to the cabinet where the folders were.
"You could've just asked me to get them for you!" I told her.
"I did!" she retorted.
"Whatever you said before, it was certainly not English..." I sniffed.
"B-but I asked you if you could give me the folders…?" she said, confused and unsure of herself now.
"Okay...but…" I muttered. Whatever I had heard, I was sure it wasn't English now.
I let it go, though, as we were putting our clarinets together.
English:
We started chatting as soon as I sat down.
"Germany…Germany! Check out this drawing my friend made for me!" Holden said, pulling out a drawing of Japan with his sword out.
"Wow, Japan…that's certainly…very up close…" I said. Japan's face was very up closed in the drawing. Ugh…very articulate, Alex… I mentally face-palmed myself.
"Mondai wa nani desu ka? Anata wa sore o sukide wa nai? (*What's the matter? Don't you like it?)" He asked me, frowning.
It happened…again…surely, this time I wasn't imagining things?
I took a deep breath. "C-can you say that again?"
He repeated the (Japanese?) I heard before.
"Yeah…by the way...the drawing's really good" I turned red, then turned forward in my seat. Thankfully, my teacher decided that moment to begin class.
It-it happened…again?
Computer:
I walked into the very hot classroom. Even though I was usually the first one there, thankfully Lizzie had beaten me this time.
"Heyyyyyy Germany" she said as I walked by her seat, making my way to the front to put my bag down.
"My God!" I exclaimed, "It's so hot in here, Hungary!"
She looked confused.
"What did you just say?" she asked me, cocking her right eyebrow, "It sounded like 'Mine Got, es eest heiss here oongarn' (*Mein Gott! Es ist heiß hier, Ungarn)".
"What? No…" I looked at her as if she was crazy, "I just said it was hot in here…"
"Really?" she met eye contact with me, "Actually, it sounded like you were speaking German to me…Are you taking German lessons or something?"
I froze.
"G-German?" I stuttered.
Could this be…? Could this be related to the strange occurrences earlier? This is weird…it was as though I was speaking English…
What is going on?
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"It's funny how distressed that one is…" England said, that evil twinkle back in his eye.
"Gah! Iggy, you're freaking me out!" America whined.
"I agree with England, da?" Russia smiled creepily, "There is nothing more I like to see than faces in distress and pain…" the room seemed to darken, and Russia's evil aura seemed to fill it. Latvia began to tremble.
"Uh…right" England said awkwardly.
"So, dude, can you tell us what this spell is supposed to be doing, 'cause not much is happening and I'm getting pretty bored…" America yawned.
"You bloody idiot! Why can't you just wait and see like everyone else?" England turned red and started muttering unintelligible curses under his breath.
"Ahonhonhonhonhon! Angleterre! You must love, not hate!" France pushed himself in between America and England, putting his arms around their shoulders. "While you two are relieving sexual tensions, you are wasting time you should be using to watch the little brats, non?" France stated, blue eyes twinkling.
"That's odd, the bloody frog actually made a rational point!" England said, pushing France's arm off of his shoulder with disgust.
America sighed. "Well, I guess we'd better get back to it…" he pulled at hamburger out of seemingly nowhere and started to eat it. They looked into the real world, England with a smug expression on his face, France, well, gazing longingly at England, and America with his eyes glazed over with boredom, already on his fourth hamburger.
REAL WORLD
The freakish language occurrences started happening more and more often, along with, er, some other…strange incidents.
English (During group work)
We had 10 minutes left to finish answering the questions for our group class work. This wasn't going too well, as everyone in the group of 6 people (minus me and Holden) were too busy chatting to do any work at all. Normally, I too would have been chatting it up with the others, but that day I just wanted to get the work DONE. Holden was just sitting there quietly, looking like he wanted to say something but refraining from doing so for some reason. But with every un-work related word the others said, my anger and annoyance levels soared. The noise levels seemed to get louder and louder. Finally, the moment came where I just snapped.
"Can everyone just SHUT UP?" I yelled. I didn't know whether to laugh or scoff at their looks of incredulity and shock. "In case you haven't noticed, we have 5 minutes left to put this together!" I continued, words spilling out, "Since I'm the one who seems to care about getting a good grade, I will be leading this from now on!" I was out of breath. "Mein Gott…dummkopfs…" I muttered.
"A-Alex…" there was a collective murmur around the classroom. Shame and embarrassment washed over me.
What- what was that? I'm not usually that foul tempered…
The group meeting went on for the (very short) amount of time we had left, with everyone (except for Holden, who seemed surprisingly calm) shooting nervous glances in my direction.
Lunch
I walked into the cafeteria, and sat across from Lizzie (our usual spot, right smack in the middle of the room). We started chatting about our days, as per usual (including my embarrassing moment in English). About 8 minutes later, Brian walked up to us, and shouted "HEY DUDES!" then walked away to get food. Lizzie and I shared the same look of confusion, but quickly shrugged it off, as we were used to his daily weirdness. 5 minutes later, Brian came back…with about 15 hamburgers on his tray.
"Um, Brian, I think the slaughterhouses just called and said they were running out of cows" I joked.
"Whaddya mean? You weren't on the phone just now Alex…" he looked confused.
"Ugh…never mind…" I groaned.
What's with him? That was pretty dumb…even for him... ;)
Then he started to eat. I think he was trying to speak to us, but through all his chewing, only a few words were able to be picked up.
"Mmmph…Grace….mmph….so cute…mmmph want to…mmphmmph….heh…mmphEnglish….mmph….homework…mmmmmmph"
I couldn't take any more of this.
"WILL YOU JUST STOP EATING?" Lizzie and I screamed.
"I see…my superior verbiage must be intimidating to you…I'll speak REALLY slowly so you can understand" he said obnoxiously. Just then, he took a HUMONGOUS cup of soda and started slurping through the straw as he started speaking YET AGAIN.
"As I was…SLURP…girls…SLURRP…knight in shining…SLURRP…SLURRRRP…so cute…SLURP"
I face-palmed.
Is it just me, or does he sound like America? I must be watching too much Hetalia…
Chorus
As I stepped out of the subway and started walking the 4-block distance to chorus, I thought about the strange (some hilarious) things that had been going on for the past few days.
I wonder if anything will happen today in chorus…like when Rose started speaking in rapid Italian…or Maggie bringing in a portable tea-making set…
My thoughts were interrupted as I walked onto the street where chorus was. There was yelling…from what I heard there were a lot of "French bastard!"s being shouted.
Jeez…why do I have a bad feeling about this?
I ran to the two figures that were standing in front of chorus's door.
"…AND IF YOU EVER PUT ONE OF THOSE FUCKING FRENCH FINGERS NEAR ME ONE MORE TIME, I SWEAR THEY WILL ALL BE RIPPED OFF!" It was Rose. And the person she was talking to…Oh, Lord…Tyler.
"All right, what the HELL were you doing to her, Tyler?" I confronted him, preparing myself for the worst.
"Ahonhonhonhon…nothing, mon cher…just telling mademoiselle how beautifully curly her hair is…" he winked at me.
I sighed. So Tyler…is acting like France apparently, and Rose like Romano. That's just wonderful.
"Aaahh, protect me from him, potato bastard!" Rose darted behind me.
"Right…" I opened the door, pushed Tyler inside, and turned to face Rose.
"You OK?" I asked her. She was shaking like a leaf.
"Yeah…ugh" she said.
"Is this the only time…?"
"No, it was happening in school a lot" she told me, "One minute I'd feel normal, then I'd be all overly cheerful and craving pasta, then THIS!"
"Yeah, me too…It seems we're acting like Hetalia characters" I laughed, "You don't even WANT to know what happened in English today."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me. Today, Ciana just suddenly stood on her chair and screamed "I AM SO AWESOME!"" she chuckled at the memory, "It was SO funny" she looked up to find me dying in hysterics.
"That's mein brüder for you…" I laughed, winking at her.
"But in all seriousness, tell me if something really weird or strange happens to you" I told her, laughing fit completely over.
"You too." Then I could've sworn she said "potato bastard" under her breath.
I sighed.
Later, After Chorus
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"And this is where the funny really begins" England chuckled, sipping his tea.
"Mon cher, you scare me sometimes" France said smiling, while brushing England's hair off his face.
"I TOLD you to stop doing that, frog!"
"Ahonhon…you know you enjoy it!"
"What the hell? No!"
America and Germany sighed. "There they go again…" America said, with a twinge of jealousy.
"Dummkopfs…"
REAL WORLD About 8:45 P.M.
I was on the computer, watching various anime videos Rose had sent me, when suddenly there was a strong pang of pain in my chest.
"OW!" I yelped.
"Is everything alright?" my dad asked me, worried.
"Y-yeah…" I winced. I got up from the computer and started to drag myself upstairs.
"Gute nacht, vater…" I barely got the words out. I didn't even notice something sounded wrong, despite the questioning glances my dad was sending in my direction.
As soon as I got into my room, I grabbed my phone, which was ringing.
It's Rose…
"Hello?" I winced as another pang hit me.
"Hi…o-ow" she groaned.
She sounds like she's in pain…
"You too"
"Yeah…I'm getting these terrible chest pangs, and they're getting more and m-more frequent"
"Me too…" another pang hit me, "Agh, I'm going to try and check with the others…I have this feeling that I can't shake off."
I hung up. I called Brian next.
"Aaaaaleeeeex! I hurt…" he was whining.
"Just try to deal with it, you're not the only one"
I hung up on him.
Holden was next. No answer. I swear, he never changes. (But that's a story for another time…)
I called Lizzie and Lucy next. Same as Rose and Brian.
The pain got worse.
PRESENT
The train reached my subway stop as my mind finished going through the events of the past few days. I started making my way to school. As I neared the cafeteria doors, I started to wonder about how awkward things were going to be and if people were going to notice the changes or not. Just outside the entrance, I ran my hand through my neatly slicked back hair, took two deep breaths, and walked in. I scoured the tables for them an-
…that was easy.
There they were…how come I was the latest one there? I scolded myself for bad punctuality, and walked over to the table where-
Wow…Holden, Lizzie, Lucy, and Brian…or should I say Japan, Hungary, Russia, and America?
I got the strange impulse to laugh, and almost did. As I neared the table, 4 worried sets of eyes looked up at me- one blank brown, one fierce hazel, one pale purple, and one shining blue. I slid into the seat next to Holden.
"Hey guys, why the long faces?" I joked.
No one even cracked a smile. (Not that I blamed them, it was hardly one of my best)
"Psh…don't blame me for trying to lighten the mood" I told them.
Brian was the first to speak.
"Dudes! How do you think we should solve this? I mean, I obviously am the best thinker of this group, but no harm in asking others, right? Ahaha!"
I felt my fists clench and anger bubble up, but then I had to remind myself that, well, Brian and America were NOT a good combination.
"I think we should listen to Ame-I mean Brian" Holden said quietly, never looking up.
"Whoever did this, I SWEAR I will hit them!" Lizzie pulled out a medium-sized frying pan.
"Heh. Lizzie, I'm sure that that WON'T be necessary" I said a bit nervously.
"Kolkolkol I think we should figure out the culprit, THEN smash some faces in!" Lucy said, looking a little TOO happy… Lizzie high-fived her.
"Guys- GUYS! There'll be NO smashing-in of faces! Though, I admit I might be a little tempted myself…" a sly grin appeared on my face. Then I remembered.
"Wait a minute- I know this is true for me and Roma-Rose. No one noticed any change in our appearance. How about you?" I asked them.
"It's the strangest thing" Lizzie told me.
"Whoever did this must've wanted us to think we were going crazy" Brian added, looking pleased with himself (perhaps because he had actually made a sensible point).
Holden nodded. "Yes, I a-"
I cut him off. "YES, we ALL know you agree with Ame-Brian" I snapped at him. He seemed to shrink back, and I felt guilty.
"Look, I know it's hard for me, so we should all bear with it until we come up with a RATIONAL solution" I looked pointedly at Lizzie and Lucy.
"Whoa, way to take charge, GERMANY" Lizzie said in a snarky voice.
I blushed. "Look, let's try not to fight as much as we can un-"
We were then told to go upstairs to class.
"Everyone, try to act as normal as you can. We don't need any suspicion going around that we've, I don't know, joined some secret society or gone crazy" I said to them before we parted ways.
"Why would anyone think we were CRAZY?" Lizzie said while putting away her frying pan.
"Yeah, seriously, we're perfectly normal…" Brian said as he stuffed a hamburger into his mouth.
I might add, Lucy just stood there, watching everyone with a smile on her face.
I snorted. "Right. Just, um, try to keep the number of hamburgers down to a bare minimum, NO frying pan attacks, and for the love of GOD, stop staring everyone like that, Lucy!"
"Kolkolkolkolkol. What was that, Germa-Alex?" She smiled at me. (The lights seemed to flicker in the hallway)
I shivered. "Just- just act normal". I walked away (Noting every little dirt spot on the floor. They should really clean the floors more often here- twice a day should be enough…) and prepared for my first day of classes as Germany.
By Lunchtime
Number of Frying Pan Threats: 4
Number of Hamburgers Eaten: 11
Number of Things Holden Refrained From Saying: 56
Number of Creepy Looks Given by Lucy: ∞
Gah! Did they not listen to anything I said? The sooner this problem is solved, the better!
Meanwhile, at Rose's School (she told me later)
Halfway through Humanities class, Ciana got an urge. The urge to proclaim her Prussian awesomeness to the world (…or at least to the class, which was close enough). She had been getting these urges the whole day, and was tired of brushing them off. So she stood up, climbed on top of her desk (ignoring the amount of strange looks bombarding her direction), and screamed "Everyone! Embrace the awesomeness! Prussia is the most awesome country, and you should all join me and my awesomeness!"
She ran a hand through her silver hair, red eyes shining. Everyone just stared at her, with occasional snickers and murmurs coming from certain parts of the room. Even the teacher was at a loss for words.
After waiting for a response for about 5 minutes, Pru-Ciana said, "Oh, come ON! Are you guys just THAT un-awesome? Who WOULDN'T want to be Prussian?"
Finally, one boy in the back, Alessandro, spoke up.
"But- but Prussia isn't a country any…" he trailed off, because the look Ciana gave him was just, well, one of THOSE looks. The kind that could make even AMERICA shut up. The whole room seemed to darken under her death glare.
"What the HELL d-do you mean by that, you-you scheiße!" she shrieked, "Everyone knows Prussia is still the most awesome country out there, including West!"
Ale shrank back down, and tried to mumble an apology, but she was on full-on rant mode.
As she started ranting about how he was just jealous of her awesomeness, Rose rolled her eyes and stood up.
"Look what you did, idiota! Bastard couldn't keep your mouth shut, dammit!" Rose turned as red as a tomato as she said this.
At this point, Ale looked very, very, VERY small and timid (quite like Latvia). He wasn't used to being yelled at by nation-influenced people.
Honestly, when she told me this, I felt sorry for the poor guy AND the teacher. No one should have to deal with Romano and Prussia at the same time…NO ONE!
In Chorus (After what seemed like FOREVER)
As I walked into the building, I braced myself for the worst. But when I entered the rehearsal room, it was quiet with no signs of Rose, Tyler, OR Maggie.
This is almost TOO quiet. Oh well, maybe nothing is wrong…for once…
I sighed and got my binder off of the shelf. I dragged myself listlessly towards my chair, each step sounding like individual sighs. I plopped into the chair, slouched back, and leaned my head against the wall. I was exhausted. Too much excitement for one day. But as soon as I shut my eyes, I heard a WAY too cheerful voice call out-
"Hey Alex! Guess what I for lunch! Pastaaaaa! I had three bowls of it and Mio Dio, the sauce-"
I groaned, and slouched back even further in my chair. Any further and I'd be slipping down onto the floor. I buried my face into my hands.
"Mein Gott…please save me…" I mumbled a feeble prayer just as Maggie walked in with- of course, a cup of tea in her hand.
Oh, good. Rose, seeing the new arrival, and bored of my lack of response, went over to talk to her new vict- I mean Maggie. Of course she was still talking a-mile-a-minute and at what sounded like the top of her lungs.
Can this day get any worse?
As soon as this thought entered my mind, Tyler decided to saunter into the room, saying "Allo! You Mademoiselles try not to faint now, but of course, if you do…I'll catch you" he winked, and then sat down at his chair, pulling out a rose.
I shuddered. It just did.
Everyone else in the room was either
a) Laughing hysterically at Tyler's behavior
b) Getting freaked out by Rose's behavior
c) Wondering if they should be concerned about me
-Or-
d) Wondering HOW the hell Maggie could drink 6 cups of tea in a row in under 5 minutes.
By now, I was just kind of grateful that I hadn't blown up by now, and that Rose hadn't turned back into Romano.
"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING YOU TO STOP. TOUCHING. MY. FUCKING. HAIR?"
Guess I spoke too soon.
Reluctantly, I parted with my chair to tell Tyler to stop trying to pull his and Rose's clothes off simultaneously.
But apparently Maggie had decided to intervene before I did.
"Look, you bloody frog, would you try to respect others' personal space for once?" It was hard to tell whose face was redder, Maggie's or Rose's. It was like trying to compare a tomato with a pomegranate.
"Ahonhonhonhon…Angle-Maggie…I see you are becoming jealous…" he smirked, "However, there is no need to, mon cher…you know you are the only one for me…"
Maggie's face was leaning more towards purple-red now.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU MEAN BY THAT!" she was almost out of breath.
"You know what I mean, Angleterre" Tyler began stroking her face, his smirk getting even stronger when he saw her lean into it for a bit. She then realized exactly WHAT she was doing, and pulled back instantly, screaming all kinds of curses and "I HATE YOU TYLER!"s.
Rose and I just stood there, feeling very disturbed…and pretty much scarred for life…
We both shuddered at the same time, trying to block what just happened out of our minds, and thanking the Heavens we were not the victim this time.
Thankfully, our director walked in, ensuring our sexual safety. (For now…)
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"I'm so boooooooooored, can't we get involved yet?" America whined loudly while playing the latest Call of Duty game on his video game system.
England shook his head, with a disgusted look crossing his features. "Let's just let them figure it out!"
REAL WORLD
"Dudes, I have an idea!" Brian said. We all groaned, pretty much knowing where this was headed.
This is it. I am fed up with all the "In America" jokes, and the stupid ideas. I swear, I'm g-
"I think we should hold our own "World Conference" with all us, uh, changed people" he smirked, and then sat back down. (Why was he standing?)
Lizzie looked annoyed. "Oh, so you could talk your ass off for the ENTIRE-"
"I think it's a great idea!" I cut her off, giving her a Look. Brian smiled widely and started doing some…happy dance? (Couldn't tell if he was having a seizure or not…Whatever.)
"BUT." I stopped his infernal twirling (Seriously…) and met eye contact with him, "I swear to GOD. If you start talking about some "Super Hero Global Man-"
"NOT to worry-Haha! - the hero always does what he's told!" he winked at me, and then sat back down. (Someone – Lizzie? Holden? The voice sounded different…strange - said "I beg to differ")
Flustered, and a bit red, I got back to the main point of business.
"So. Let's call everyone and meet in 2 hours. 5:00 should be do-able for everyone!" I met the gaze of everyone, daring them to speak otherwise, "…RIGHT?"
"No Taiwan time…-_-"
"No Pokem- I mean, ALEX time…heh *munch*"
"No yaoi watchi- uh…uh…COOKING time"
"Kolkolkolkolkolkol"
I face-palmed. "RIGHT?" I tried to give them my best intimidating Germany look. There was a collective sigh around the group.
"…Right…"
"Kolkolkolkol"
That'd have to do.
2 Hours+4 Phone Calls Later= CHAOS
After about the 53rd hamburger, the constant "I am awesome" declarations, the 15th rape whistle going off, 84th grammar correction made, the amounts of time Rose had said "fuck", and- oh GOD…so much more…
Let's just say…whatever smidgen of sanity I had left in me was threatening to leave me faster than you could say "PASTAA~".
The whole room was shaking (or maybe it was just me).
"EVERYONE SHUT UP AND STOP THE VERDAMMT RACKET!" Wow, I really need to break this habit.
"Can't we just..." I felt myself growing faint. I sat back down wearily. "Can't we just find a solution and- and…get this over with?" I sighed. So…peaceful…maybe my yelling actually worked for on-
"OK EVERYONE, it seems like Alex is too tired to continue, so I'LL be taking over!"
What is with me and speaking too soon?
"Oh JEEZ. Oi, hamburger bastard! I thought this fucking meeting was for the INTELLIGENT members of our situation!" Rose said with a smirk to Brian.
"Then why would YOU be here? Huh? HUH?" Brian retaliated.
"Well, at least MY Facebook profile picture doesn't look like-"
"Enough, guys! You know, I don't like being like this, and I want to return back to normal. And you know what I have to say? I think that since all of THIS is possible, who's to say that the Hetalia characters aren't real? You- you know what? I bet THEY'RE the ones that did this to us!" This whole rant was said by…
Wait, who is this?
And apparently, judging by the looks on everyone else's faces, they looked like they were thinking the same exact question.
Hmm…he looks…kind of familiar…I guess…
"Ahonhonhonhon~! Mon petite crêpe!" Fr-Tyler exclaimed. He ran over to…the person and started hugging him. "You have come to visit moi! How sweet!"
Figures FRANCE would know who it was…
"Agh, I've never seen you before in my life, eh? MAPLE!" he yelped when Tyler started groping him in…CERTAIN areas…
Maple? Wait, don't tell me it's-
"Matt?" Brian and Holden asked simultaneously.
"Yes! Haven't you seen me at all the meetings with you, Alex, Lizzie, and Lucy?" He looked at our faces hopefully in search of a sign of remembrance.
Brian (of course) was the first to speak.
"Ahaha! Duuuude, I would've remembered if you were there, I'm the HERO!" he smiled brightly, momentarily dazzling him.
"Oh…so you don't remember…I guess I'll just go now…" Cana-Matt started trudging towards the door.
"No, don't go" a quiet voice stopped him; "We would like to have you here." Holden bowed slightly, then sat down, looking at his lap.
Matt hesitated. "Oh, all right…" he sat in the seat in between Holden and me.
"So guys, I have a totally AWESOME idea. Of course it's AWESOME because it comes from the AWESOME me!" Ciana spoke up. Rose rolled her eyes.
"Will you just SHUT UP for once?" she growled, "No one cares about your fake fucking awesomeness because PRUSSIA ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING COUNTRY ANYMORE!" Everyone was stunned.
"Jeez, dude, you okay? Do you need someone to drive you home or something?" Brian asked her. His concern seemed to make her even angrier.
"I ESPECIALLY do not want you fucking AMERICAN sympathy!" she was furious (over what? Jesus…so moody…), "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR SYMPATHY? YOU Can..." she trailed off, and seemed to MELT into North Italy.
"Veee~! I smell pasta!" she exclaimed happily.
What the-
"I took the liberty of ordering us all food" Holden said quietly, "No one works well on an empty stomach."
Oh.
Well, anything to get Romano off of our hands.
Anyway.
After everyone had consumed the food Holden had so considerately ordered for us, we FINALLY got back to discussing the IMPORTANT issue.
"As I was saying, un-awesome peoples, I think that the real Hetalia characters did this to us for whatever un-awesome reasons they had!" Ciana looked genuinely proud of herself, as if-
"HEY. I said that already!" a whisper of a voice tried to say. No one noticed. No one cared.
"Guys, we should cast a summoning circle and call them to us! I have all of the proper equipment" Maggie suggested.
"Um. Just because you LOOK like England, doesn't mean you suddenly have the ability to perform black magic" I reminded her.
"Shut up, tosser! It wouldn't hurt to give it a go!" Her face began to turn a very familiar red.
"Alright, alright!" I didn't want a repeat of Rose's unexpected meltdown.
"Meet me…in the church basement on Ivy Lane in my neighborhood. The door will be unlocked" the lights flickered. Almost everyone shivered. Lucy's smile seemed to get bigger.
It just keeps getting better and better…
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"I resent that girl's creepiness!" England complained; "I never am that scary!" he sniffed.
"Riiiiiiiight, Iggy. So THAT'S what the whole "Those kids will have to pay" thing was…not creepy at all…" America snorted, and then took a sip out of his Coke.
"I-uh…um…r-Bugger!" England sputtered. "It's just…the, um…the weather changing that's effecting my mood…HA!" he exclaimed with contempt.
"Lame…" America shook his head.
"Well, if this interests you, we'll be meeting with them soon…in the real world" England pushed on his favorite sunglasses.
"YES!" then the blue-eyed nation started performing a seizure-like dance (I swear, it must be an America thing…)
REAL WORLD
The candles flickered, casting oddly shaped shadows on the basement floor.
"Vee…this place is giving me the creeps!" Rose looked like she was about to cry.
"Don't worry…" I felt the strange compulsion to protect the Italy-resembling Rose. I shook the weird feeling off quickly, rolling my eyes at it. "So…um…" I shifted my gaze to Maggie, who had a black hooded cloak on (Where did she…? I don't even want to know…), "Want to start? Heh."
So then Maggie commenced the "summoning ritual". She drew a circle on the floor, and then started chanting.
"…..Dumbledoratheexplora!"
Oh, no…if this is anything like the episode…
I mentally face-palmed.
"I SUMMON THEE…"
Yep.
I assume you can guess the rest.
Ugh. I bet the real Hetalia characters are laughing their personified butts off right now.
HETALIA UNIVERSE
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" America laughed in England's face, "THAT WAS AS MUCH OF A FAIL AS THE FIRST TIME! AHAHA!" he laughed louder than a passing airplane would be.
"Shut the bloody hell up! The spell worked, just not the way…it was…supposed to go…" he sunk into his British emo corner. This seemed to make America laugh even more.
"AHAHAHAHA…but seriously dude. I'm so freaking bored." He started poking England's cheek with his finger repeatedly.
"AGH. Fine! Bloody hell." England testily pushed America's finger out of the way. "Let's go. I have that transportation spell somewhere…"
France pulled a piece of paper out of his underwear.
"Ahonhonhon! Looking for something, Angleterre?"
"AH! BLOODY- FRAAAANCE!"
…and that's how France ended up with a black eye…from scones. Scones which are harder than a Canadian's hockey puck.
Yeah.
REAL WORLD ~ Second attempt at a meeting.
This time we were using the school's auditorium. God knows how long we would be able to stay in here without getting kicked out.
THIS TIME, I swear, I will NOT blow up at anyone. Oh God, more hamburgers…Lizzie and her frying pan…. SUCCESS!
"WILL YOU FUCKFACES SHUT. UP?" Rose screamed.
Ah, well. At least it wasn't me this time.
I cleared my throat. "We need to-" I paused as Maggie came in late. LATE. DON'T PEOPLE KEEP PUNCTUALITY A PRIORITY ANYMO-
Wait. I could've sworn Maggie came in earlier. I have the tea stains on the carpet to prove it…
Two Maggies?
Unless…
"The REAL England!" I said with a stunned look on my face. Heck, EVERYONE'S face looked like mine.
"Ahh. Smart one. Well done, people" he took his sunglasses (Did I mention he had sunglasses on? Who the hell- Never mind.),and sat down casually in an empty seat.
"Care to explain ANYTHING?" I snarled. I did NOT have any patience. I could feel my fists clenching.
He raised his (rather bushy) eyebrow. "Touchy. Just like Germany. Mmmph" he started snickering.
"Listen, person of un-awesomeness, can you just turn us back?" Ciana muttered something about her one and only awesomeness, and shot a piercing red-eyed glare towards England.
This only made England snicker more.
"Before I do anything regarding your…situation" ("WHICH WAS CAUSED BY YOU!" Brian and Rose noted- for once in agreement) England smiled. "Perhaps you would like to meet your…counterparts?"
A number of us exchanged glances.
Just then, we heard obnoxious laughter echoing off the hallways outside, followed by flirtatious (rapist?) laughter, and "kolkolkol"-ing. Oh yeah, not to mention "KESESESE"-ing and "Veee~"-ing and- well, you get the picture.
I buried my face in my hands. Why did I have a feeling-?
"AWESOMEEE!" Prussia and Ciana found each other and started high-fiving and screaming about who was awesomer.
Oh dear God. Which was followed by-
"DUUUUUDE! IN AMERICA!" followed by laughter, then realization that they both watched Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, which led to-
OH my God. Germany.
I met his piercing blue gaze, but quickly looked away. This was clearly going to be awkward. As he neared me, I found myself involuntarily shuffling away from him. I forced my body to stop and to look up at him.
"So. Um. Hi. Or should I say, Guten tag? Heh" Once again, I found myself mentally sarcastically commending myself of my stupidity.
"Uh, ja. Guten tag." He shifted his stance nervously. It was just then that I realized he was almost if not just as nervous as I was.
Aw…
We started chatting, at first awkwardly, because of his apparent hatred for fangirls and cosplayers, but then we both loosened up and forgot our worries.
He turned out to be a pretty nice guy, despite his obvious love of wurst and cleaning, but especially because of his not-so-obvious-but-obvious-to-me- love of Italy.
In other words, if England hadn't started talking again, I might've had to run away to suppress the fangirl squeals and screams that I could feel bubbling inside of me. (Shut up, you'd want to too…)
"I presume everyone is wondering why you woke up that fateful morning as the famed personifications [ourselves] you watch on that show called- what the bloody hell his it ca-" he paused as Japan reminded him. "Ah, yes…Hetalia." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, the reason I decided to place this spell upon…you is, well…we're tired of fangirls. –a few gasps from our side of the room- and hate it when you impersonate us…and try to imitate us…" he shuddered. Rose and I rolled our eyes. He continued, "So…I wanted to see you all freak out somehow…a-and that's how the plan was born" he wiped off some sweat that was gathering on his forehead.
I shook my head in disgust. "So you basically did this…to protect your "manly pride"?" I coughed. (I heard Brian say- "As straight as a curly fry…") "I'm sorry, but…L.A.M.E.!"
America: Right on!
"Shut up!"
Brian: Right on!
"SHUT-"
"Ok, ok!"
"As I was saying, haven't you ever heard of the phrase- "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", Mr. I'm-the-Expert-on-All-the-World's-Literature?" I shot England a withering glance. He looked kind of sheepish.
"Ok, I guess I might not have thought it quite through…" he started to try to explain himself, but was interrupted by Rose.
"YOU DAMN WELL DID NOT THINK IT THROUGH, TEA BASTARD! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THESE PAST DAYS?"
Damn. And I thought I was the one with the meltdowns.
England chuckled. "Actually, I do. You and your friends pose as a rather amusing form of entertainment…" he was silenced by the collection of disparaging looks my friends and I were giving him.
"Dude. Just. Turn. Us. Back." Brian was looking pretty annoyed- NOT a good sign.
"Yeah…British fuckface…" Wow, twice in agreement in one day…apocalypse, much?
"Alright…alright, FINE…tomorrow you'll all find yourselves back to normal..." England grumbled.
"Mon cher! I always knew you had it in you to LOVE! I will give you a special surprise tonight just for that!" France attached himself to England's waist with his vise-like grip.
"Bloody- get OFF!" It took Russia, Germany, AND Switzerland to pry him off. England fake-dusted the front of his suit and pretended like nothing just happened. "A-as I was saying, there is one slight issue…"
Lord, what NOW?
I think I heard everyone sigh in defeat.
"What?" I asked, shaking my head.
He replied, "Well, you see…"
MORNING- CANADA 8:00A.M.
Sarah felt woozy. Her head pounded. She was wondering exactly what the hell happened last night when-
She looked in the mirror. A pair of green eyes stared back at her. There appeared to be two bushy caterpillars sitting on top of them. Two very familiar "caterpillars"…
"BLOODY-"
The End~