Just a little Clace Drabble...Implied first time. Nothing too graphic. Just a little something I wanted to happen in City of Heavenly Fire and never really did(;
He was looking at me, his eyes like two pools of liquid fire. I suddenly felt trapped under his unrelenting stare, unwilling to break myself from his trance, my words, intended to lighten the mood, unable to be heard, trailing off. The heavy air that suddenly seemed to surround us was overwhelming. Alarming, even. How we had gone from laughing hysterically in the kitchen, wiping flour and store-bought icing off of our faces, to standing in dead silence, just looking, drinking each other in, I would never know. The abrupt change in mood, in feel, in emotion—was all too much and now, as my heart started to race, not enough.
"Tell me what you're thinking," Jace said, quietly, still keeping his distance.
I released a ragged breath. "I...I'm not exactly sure." I was hot. I was nervous. I was...excited.
"I love you. You know that?"
"I love you too." This feeling was all too familiar yet still so foreign. Just seeing Jace was like waiting for the rapids to silence themselves, then being disappointed at their every present, feverish movement having no intention to slow down. It was like being disappointed, but even more so exhilarated. Unsettling but at the same time the unsettelty was what proved to be the most satisfying. You know you can't expect what's going to come next and though it's scary, terrifying, even a little dark, you're on the edge of your seat. Battling. Fighting. Clawing at your want for the unpredictable predictable shot of something you know so well, but are still trying to figure out.
There was never a dull moment with Jace. There was never any lack of desire. Of need for him. Seeing him was never any less fulfilling, if anything it was even more intense than the last time. He kept me guessing but still supplied me a constant. A rock. He wasn't going anywhere, nor were his feelings or love for me.
How can someone be such an crystal clear enigma?
You'd think that I'd be used to him by now, that I'd even be a little bored, but I was always eager to learn more. To discover what was underneath each one of his layers. To uncover more secrets. To share more of his story and add new chapters along the way.
He was becoming even more apart of my world every second we spent together. And I was already his universe.
There was no one else when we were together. No one we'd rather talk to. No one we'd rather laugh at. No one we'd rather be with. No one we'd rather give ourselves to completely.
It was rare, our love. You didn't see very often. You didn't see it. Period.
After having been through so much with him, after finding myself while at the same time finding the very thing that was worth dying for—or better yet, living life the fullest for—there wasn't a doubt in my mind: I was his. One hundred and ten percent. And he was mine. Mine forever.
"You need to tell me if you're not ready," Jace said, his voice unsteady and all the more endearing.
This was happening. This was finally happening. And there wasn't anything that'd stop me from making the best of it; not my insecurity, not my inexperience, not my fear for the future. This was happening. Now.
"Take me," I whispered, my voice far too confident, unflinching. Daring. I was nervous. So nervous, but I was never more sure about anything in my entire life. I waited for Jace to let my words sink in, and it didn't take long. One minute he was breathing heavily, seemingly lost without his shield from reality—me—and the next he was reaching for his implement. Ready to use it.
My assurance was all it took. The distance between us was no longer. Jace came at me, full force, nothing holding him back.
It was one of the things I'd probably never get used to, above all others: how Jace just took me along for the ride and let me forget about all ambiguity. There were no obstacles in our way, not anymore. And we were finally taking full advantage of it. I reacted and moved and kissed and thought in a haze of lust. I was falling so beautifully, dangerously, helplessly—and I never wanted to land. Being lost in Jace was the best, albiet the most mind boggling experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. Not for world peace. Not for eternity. Not for a lost cause that I was desperate to have back.
My ankles were locked around his torso and my back was getting slammed into the wall behind us, right next to his bedroom door. The pain was beautiful. We were hungry for each other. Unwilling to share. Unwilling to slow down. Unwilling to savor. Too caught up in each other that we were encompassed in oblivion.
His scent was intoxicating, more so than ever before. It acted as a stimulant, driving me forward, erasing all self control, firing me at him like a bullet.
He was everywhere. His hands supported me, squeezed me, caressed and dug into my sensitive skin. I couldn't get enough. More. More. More. I needed more.
Who needed drugs when you had the next best thing: a living, breathing, interactive, constant injection? The strongest injection that even money couldn't buy? Maybe that was why people did drugs; because they didn't have a Jace in their lives. They didn't have the perfect, distraction, companion, friend, source of light. Person to love and love you back.
I was unaware that we were already in the safety of his room, that he'd somehow opened the door and closed it, and now he was gently settling me down on his bed, touching me in ways I'd never imagined could feel so good. His movements were smooth. Skilled. Calming. Erratic. Frenzied. Enticing. His lips detached from mine and I sucked in deep breaths, the euphoria of this moment incomparable and so adrenaline pumping that it put being a shadowhunter, overtaken by the thrill of a fight, to shame.
He was quick to attack my neck and suck and taste every patch of unclothed skin. Jace was moving my shirt off my shoulder and peppering the sweetest of kisses there and I closed my eyes. I was ready for this. I was ready to be with Jace. I was ready.
"Tell me...if...you...need to st-stop," he panted, never swaying from his job at hand.
I was too eager to have his lips back on mine and took his face captive with both of my hands, wasting no time to spoil myself further. "I'm ready," I told him. "I'm ready. Stop hes-it-ating."
"I love you." He spoke in between kisses, the pauses between words so drawn out and pronounced that it'd be hard to understand him if I wasn't hyper aware of every breath, sound, dull noise he made. "I love you so much."
"I love you, Jace. I'm ready."
He pulled away to look me in the eyes. His reflected so much lust and passion that it was overwhelming and almost abnormal that someone so young could feel so strongly towards someone else. We were just kids. How is it that we were so sure? How did we even know what love was? There was really no question when it came to either of us, though. We taught each other.
We looked for each other even when we knew the other wouldn't be showing up, hopeful that maybe, by some miracle, they'd magically appear.
We were constantly worried when we were apart—jumping to conclusions whenever there was a snowstorm, if there was an accident reported on the news, if the other was even a second or two late.
We called each other. Every Morning. During the day. Every night.
We never tired from hearing the others' voice.
We smiled at he mere mention of the others' name.
We'd be hopeless without each other.
We'd be absolutely...nothing.
Somehow, after training for hours, Jace seeing me eat just as much if not more than him for lunch, ruining Isabelle's first real attempt at following a brownie recipe and covering each other in ingredients, and not even bothering to take a shower, had all played an essential role in making my first time with Jace the most romantic, memorable, and perfect moment in—I have no doubt—both of our lives.
It was just a step further into our future together.
And if this was the beginning, there'd really be no end to our story until each of us took our last, dying breaths.
I was originally going to make this a one-shot, but...if I get some people that want me to make this into a story—not just about Jace and Clary, erm, getting it on—then I'd be more than happy to do so.
I have an idea for everyone's favorite Mortal Instrument characters to have one last adventure. If you all want me to start yet another story, it'll be called 'City at Bay'...It won't be all butterflies and rainbows. In fact, 'at bay' is another term for 'trapped'. Think about it...(;
Well, tell me your thoughts on this little, fluffy Clace piece!
Until next time, peace.