Hey there! Here's a new Larry one shot, I know that no-one has requested it but I just needed to write it due to some events. Hope you like it though! :D
Enjoy! xxx
Need You
The fact that no-one seemd to see how sad and depressed I actually am surprised me a bit. I mean sure I didn't make it noticeable, I hid it under big grins and silly banter, except when I was at home.
The only one who I think has noticed my slight change in personality was Harry, well he knew me like the back of his hand, so I would of been surprised if he hadn't noticed. He is my boyfriend after all. He often looked at me with concern and had talked to me too many times for me to remember, usualy about how he wanted to help me if I only let him in. When I finally told him what was happening at home he got so furious and I had put everything I had into calming him.
But he was also the only one, if he hadn't told his mum as they were pretty close. I didn't blame everyone else for not noticing though, as much as I wanted to blame them I just couldn't. I had brought this mess upon myself.
I sat curled up on the sofa in my room, hugging my knees tightly and crying silently in the darkness while the yelling continued downstairs.
They only argue when they think I don't hear them, when they think that me and the girls are asleep. But I stayed up late to listen to their arguments even if they in fact tore me apart bit by bit. I let out a strangled sob and hugged my knees tighter whenever he fired some especially harsh comment about me at my mother.
I don't even know how many timed I've wished that I hadn't told them in the first place, wished that I could go back in time to prevent myself from telling them. But how could I possibly know tht my father is homophobic and started to think less of me.
I remember the day when I finally picked up the guts to tell them a few weeks ago after Harry and I had gotten together. Mum was a bit startled at first but she was fine with it, as long as I was happy she was happy, and she was glad that I had found someone to love. But then I turned to see my fathers reaction and the look on his face was complete and utter disgust, I didn't think of it much at first, I mean you're bound to be surprised when your son confess that he's gay, because that's what I thought, that he only was surprised. I never thought that it would turn to this. When he started to make snarky comments about me I started to get worried, and when I finally asked him what his problem was he answered with a voice full of venom that gays disgusted him. I couldn't believe him, my father said that I disgusted him and that's when the self harming begun.
It took the pain and the unwanted feeling away for a couple of minutes, but the unwanted and worthless feelings did always come back, haunting me.
My hands itched after the shiny razors I kept well hidden in my toiletry bag, but I couldn't. Not now since Harry and I got together. I had placed the cuts carefully on the inner side of my left thigh where they wasn't especially visible, just small white scars. But now when Harry had his attention to that area quite often I couldn't do it, it was a wonder that he hadn't found them yet.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" My mothers high pitched scream brought be back to reality and away from the dark thoughts clouding my mind. I sighed and sunk deeper down in the sofa. For fuck sake not only my birthday was yesterday but the fact that they are once again arguing about me, well that's not new, but do they have to do it on Christmas. I took a deep breath and looked up on the cealing, letting the tears fall freely.
"Isn't the right question; What the hell is wrong with LOUIS!" He yelled back at her. The tears started to run faster making my vision blurry, I felt so worthless. I shoved my earphones into my ears and put my iPod on highest volume to drown their voices, but I could still hear them screaming at each other.
I just couldn't believe that my dad who I loved and looked up to was homophobic and couldn't even stand beeing in the same room as me anymore. What was so wrong and messed up about me that he'd started to resent me and make him avoid me like I was some sort of sikness.I pulled out my earphones and groaned loudly, they weren't helping anyway.
"Louis are you alright?" A small voice reached my ears. I looked up and quickly wiped away the tears. There in the doorway stood a beautiful blond little girl staring at me with her big blue eyes filled with concern and sympathy. I nodded shakily and looked away from her, she couldn't see me like this. Which thirteen year old would want to see their seven years older big brother cry and be vulnerable.
The girls took it well when he told them that he liked Harry, they got really excited as they too liked Harry, but as an older brother that is. But I don't know if they really understood the meanings of me liking Harry.
Lottie made her way over to me on the sofa and I opened my arms for her to crawl into.
"It'll be okay, don't cry Lou." She soothed and pulled me in for a comforting hug. I let out a dry laugh, it felt so weird that my little sister was the one comforting me, when it should be reversed roles, I was the one who should protect her. But since the start of One Direction I haven't been able to play that part pretty well.
"Why are you up anyway?" I asked her, my voice slightly shaky from crying so much.
"Umh, I woke up by their screams and got a bit scared, so I decided to see if you were still up." She mumbled against my shoulder. Her eyes widend when dad suddenly screamed higher than ever before.
"I DID NOT RAISE MY SON TO BE A FUCKING FAGGOT! YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S NOT EVEN MY SON ANYMORE!" He boomed, Lottie started to shake in my arms and tears started to run down her pink cheeks. She looked up at me with her big, teary, blue eyes.
"Please make them stop." She pleaded lowly. It broke me to see her like this. It was one thing when it was only me who got effected, but a whole other thing if my litte sisters got effected by his blunt hate.
"Here." I whispered and handed her my earphones and iPod. "Take these and put on some song you like and then try to sleep. I'll stay here with you all the time, alright baby?" She nodded and took the earphones then started to scroll down my music list. She chose Chasing Cars and then settled in my arms.
"I love you Louis." She whispered and closed her eyes tirely.
"I love you too Lotts." I whispered back and kissed the crown of her head.
"Don't you dare talking like that about him women! Persons like him doesn't deserve a place on this earth." He yelled. I couldn't help myself this time, I let out a surpressed sob and the tears started to run faster and faster down my face, but then remembered that I was holding on to Lottie. I looked down at her and saw that she was sound asleep. On shaking legs I picked her up and walked into her rom with her and gently placed her on her bed, pulling the covers up to her chin.
"No it's SICK and WRONG!" He screamed.
"HE IS YOUR SON!" Mum screamed back.
"Not anymore!" He hissed.
"Leave and don't ever come back, I'll promise you that I'll call the police." She yelled.
*Please save me.* I pressed on the send button and then tiptoed my way back to my own room. Once in there I broke down completely. I sunk down on my knees and cried uncontrolably, choking on my own sobs while the screaming downstairs continued.
My dad didn't want me, he thought that people like me deserved to die. My sobs got harder and I started to have problem breathing, might aswell die that way he'd get what he wanted.
I don't know for how long I sat there crying my heart out and thinking about how worthless I am before the yelling stopped and the front door was pulled oped and got flung to a close with a loud bang making the windows in my room shutter.
I pulled my phone out to see if I'd gotten any reply from him, wich I hadn't. Even he didn't want to handle me right now, it's been two hours since I sent him the text. The thought only made me cry harder again.
Suddenly the doorbell set off, I looked down at my phone again. Who on earth was visiting at 02:38 am on christmas!
I got up slowly from the floor my curiosity getting the better of me. I threw a quick glance in the hallway mirror and saw that I looked a mess, but I honestly didn't care anymore.
It was quiet down here, no more yelling. He had left earlier, probably went to a pub to get pissed, which made it "okay" for me to come out of my room and mum was nowhere to be seen, suerly asleep already, fighting do exhaust her, as much as it exhaust me. Even though I wasn't the one screaming.
I slowly pulled the door open and peeked out in the dark, scared that it might be dad.
My breath got caught in my throat and I looked at the angel in disbelief. Harry.
"Harry?" I whispered and then my knees gave in from under me and I started to fall towards the ground sobbing, but before I hit the stone porch a pair of strong arms caught me and pulled me in for a tight embrace.
"Shhh, I'm here now babe." He soothed and had to lift me to get me back into the house. He locked the front door behind him and started to make his way up the stairs, which was a pretty hard job with me crying in his arms. I felt lifeless, I couldn't move. The only thing spinning around in my head was that he was here, here with me.
"What are you doing here, it's Christmas?" I asked once he had camled me down enough to be able to talk.
"Well, my boyfriend send me a very worrying text saying "Save me" so of course I just couldn't ignore it or just send a quick text to reply, no I needed to find out what's wrong and how would be able to fix it." He told me sincearly and looked into my blue eyes with his green ones, it felt like he was looking into my soul.
"So you just jumped into the car and drove all the way here in the middle of the night on Christmas?" I asked bewildred.
"You don't even have a drivers license, you could have gotten yourself killed!" I exclaimed, panic pouring through my voice.
"Louis calm down, you're going to make yourself sick." He smiled softly. "You need me and mum was okay with me driving here. And even if she wouldn't have been I would of left anyway." He said and then walked over to the bed and put me down, then he crept over the bed to lay down next to me. He put his arms around me and pulled me into him.
"Now tell me what happened this time." He breathed and traced small patterns on my chest with one of his long index fingers.
All of this had happened before, but those times dad's words hadn't been so harsh and honest, because that's what they were, honest. And those other times I used to call or text Harry during the whole fight.
They never fight when we have guests. The only time they had was when Harry was over and dad got really angry and yelled that he didn't want another faggot in his house and that it was enough with the one who was already living under his roof. Harry and I spend the rest of that night locked up in my room with the girls hiding and beeing out of the way while mum and him started to fight again.
"He said, or screamed rather, that h- he didn't want a son like me and that I wasn't his son anymore an- and.." I couldn't finish the sentence before I sarted to sob again. Harry shifted slightly then pulled me onto his lap and started to rock us back and forth. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck and took deep breaths, breathing in his scent.
"What did he say babe?" He asked when I made no effort to continue. "It's not good to bottle things like this up." He whispered softly against my hair and hen kissed it.
"Hh- he said th- that people like, like me doesn't dese- deserved to be al- alive." I whispered between sobs. "The- then mum screamed at him tho- to leave and never come back so he left ab- about one and a ha- half hour ago." I continued. The rocking came to an abrupt stop and I felt his entire body stiffen. I looked up at him and all I could see was fury in his green eyes, which got darker and darker by the second.
".What!" He hissed through gritted teeths. Like on a signal I heard the front door open and then close. By the look on Harry's face he'd heard too.
"But the important thing is that you're here with me now." I hurried to say before something happened that he'll regret later.
"I am going to kill that fucking bastard!" Harry hissed and pushed me gently of him and then got up from the bed.
"Harry please not now." I begged him and put my hand on his shoulder to prevent him from moving.
"GET OUT!" Mums scream suddenly came from downstairs. I pushed past Harry then started to run down the flight of stairs, Harry not far behind. When I reached the bottom nothing could really prepare me for what I was going to see. Dad stood hovering over mum with his fist raised about to hit her.
"DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO HER!" I screeched and ran forward to push him away from her.
"Don't touch me you fucking faggot!" He spat and was about to push me back when a fist hit his jaw making him stagger backwards both from the force and the surprise.
"You." He hissed and set his eyes on Harry who had stepped away from him and were standing next to me clenshing his right hand against his chest, pain showing through the anger in his beautiful features.
"Don't even look at him." I hissed through gritted teeth. "Now leave and don't ever come back or I'll make sure that you'll be put behind bars, all I've got to say is that you stomped Harry and tecnichally he's still a child, so you'll be put away for child abuse." I said and looked him in the eye. Sure I was probably overreacting, but the look on his face made me feel better then ever. For about three seconds he looked terrified, but then he collected himself.
"You can't kick me out faggot." He mocked and laughed.
"Watch me!" I snapped and gave him a hard push so that he stumbled out through the door mum had opened and then closed it again with a lout bang then turned the lock. I looked out through thelittle window and saw that he got up and started to walk away from our house.
"I'm so, so sorry Lou, I should have kicked him out earlier. I'm sorry." Mum cried and pulled me in for a bone crushing bearhug.
"It's okay mum, now go back to bed and we'll talk more tomorrow yeah?" I smiled and kissed her cheek.
"Yeah but don't you ever forget that I love you so much no matter what!" She smiled.
"I love you too mum." I smiled back at her.
"And welcome to the family Harry." She smiled, kissed his cheek and pulled him in for a hug while Harry just stood there blushing. She turned away from us and walked back into her bedroom closing the door carefully behind her, leaving me and Harry alone in the hall.
"Thank you." I whispered and walked over to him.
"I love you." Was his reply before he grabbed a hold of my collar and pulled me as close as possible into him then slammed our lips together. I put one hand around his neck and the other one caressing his cheek. His hands were still holding a tight grip around my collar preventing me from beeing able to move, not that I wanted to move away from him. He ran his tongue along my bottom lips begging for entrance which I quickly guaranteed.
"Please help me forget that this night ever happened." I panted afyer we broke away.
"Sure just follow me." He whispered, his eyes dark with lust. He took my hand hand then practically dragged me up the stairs.
"Wait!" I whispered and stopped abruptly outside the girls room. I peeked in and saw that they all were sleeping peacefully, I closed the door carefully. Harry pulled my hand inpatiently which made me chuckle slightly to myself. Harry's behaviour making me remember the previous night, when Harry gave me the best birthday present ever. An entire night alone with him.
Then I let myself be dragged across the hall and into my room. As soon as the door closed Harry got me pinned up against it then he started to kiss me fiercly.
"I need you Louis." He breathed. I shoved my hand down the front of his pants and he he groaned with pleasure, his knees buckled and I followed him down on the floor.
"We have to be quiet." I whispered into his ear then nibbled his earlobe softly and he muffled his moans by biting my shoulder.
This night taking a wonderful turn.
THE END
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Thanks for reading! :D xxx
