DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO. Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto.
I DO NOT OWN THE SONG. "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx
I stared outside the window of my room. Staring outside the window has become a habit. It's like smoking.
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
After he died, I started to stare outside. The gaze just wonders around the view. He promised me. He promised me he would give me a happy family. He lied. He broke the promise.
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever
A few days before he left, and never came back… He came by my place…
"Kurenai… I have something to tell you." He stood in front of me
"Yes? Just spill it out, it's pretty late… Why not come in?" I invited
"I just want to tell you something, it'll be quick," he smiled lightly to me
"So, what is it?" I looked at him curiously
"As you already know I'm off to the mission, I don't know when I will get back," he said
"Yes, but I'm sure you'll get back, okay?" I stepped forward to lean on his chest
"I promise you, when I get back, our child will have a happy family," He hugged me
"You said it… It's our promise, even the child heard it," I hugged him back tight
But he did not keep our promise. He left us all alone, I don't know what to do when Shikamaru came and told me, when I first heard it. That night, I couldn't sleep, I kept on thinking and remembering those sweet and beautiful memories that were buried with him. I never thought he would go and never turn back; it's a one way trip to death.
I lay on the bed with my tears flowing out of my scarlet eyes and soaking the pillow. I closed my eyes and remembered that warm smile of his, his humble voice and his significant cigarette smell that stained him. I know he won't like to see me like this. I have to stay strong and take care of the child alone.
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
Before I knew he was gone forever, I waited him happily. I waited for his return to make that promise into a reality. Just thinking about the child, I was very excited and even looked for names for the child. I was very excited and happy, waiting for his return. My heart ached a little when he went to the mission, but I didn't expect anything like that to happen…
I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
After I heard the news, the thought of my heart ached that time, something happened. Before he left, he left me a sweet and long kiss goodbye, and it was the last trace he left on me. That smell and taste of cigarette on his lips, which I will never taste again. The things he left for me is his belongings and the child in me.
I thought of him for the whole day, his face and image in my mind, burned into mind and heart, whenever I felt the child, I thought of him.
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' Crazy
I was very happy, I felt like I'm the happiest woman, as I am going to have a great family of my own that I longed for, with the man I loved.
I'm in a cage of sorrow and tears when he left me like that. I will have to give the child a father-less life. I've lost the man who once was a comrade, a good friend, a sweet lover and now a cold blood-stained body in the grave to me. I do not wish to lose the seed that he left for me. I will protect it with my life.
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I do not believe when I first heard it. I waited for him. Right at the window I used to be, looking to the high ground where he always stood. I am waiting for his return, to make the promise a reality.
I finally knew what people said, "Dreams are always the sweetest and reality is the opposite of dreams," I finally got to have a bitter taste of reality and kept the sweet taste of dreams buried in the grave I set in my heart.
No matter what, Sarutobi Asuma, I will never give up waiting because I still love you.
I tried hard to make the mood and atmosphere when I was doing this fic! Listening to the song, "Long Kiss Good Bye" by Halcali, Right Here waiting by Richard Marx and some other sad love songs!
R&R! Thanks!! =3