Lights

by badtzmaruhoe

Noodle lives day to day in pain, seeing the one person she loves most in the world happy with someone else. Everything they do together is another reason to inflict pain on herself. How is she going to be able to control her urge cut while she's carrying a little piece of him inside her ? give it a try ?

1. Chapter 1

: Hope you like :)

~~Noodle's POV~~

Ask me how it feels to see the one person you care most for in the world, happy with someone else. I could tell exactly how it feels.

When the blade pierces my skin, creating a fresh new wound that fills with blood until it dries becoming another scar, is what helps me relieve the pain that throbs in my heart.

I wounder sometimes if anyone can see through the warm yet fake smile i give them everyday, if only they could though.

Everything was perfect before she came along. When he didn't belong to anyone and with everyday my feeling for him turned into pure love. I wouldn't lock myself in my room for hours, cring until my eyes would begin to bruise.

I cried so many nights, eventually it wasn't enough. Just the thought of them together was enough to make me sick to my stomach, but seeing them together made me even worse.

Every touch, Every hug, Every kiss, Ever I love you made me lose control of myself. One night I just couldn't cry, I couldn't think. My rage was just to intense.

I walked into the kitchen and searched for the sharpest knife I could find. When I did I walked back to my room, locked the door and that is when it started.

I stretched my arm out and before I knew what I was doing I dug the knife into my arm. I felt pain for a second then complete exstacy. I fell onto my bed and let my mind drift off to sleep.

Russel banged on my door the next morning since the door was locked. his yells for me to "wake up" and "open the door" made me jump up to a puddle of blood from my arm and the knife on the floor.

I paniced "I'm changing, be out in a minute."

I heard his loud foot steps walk away from my door. I walked into the bathroom in my room and cleaned the cut, then hid the knife in the cabinet under the sink.

I wore a black long sleeve shirt for the rest of the day to hide what i had done the night before, which was shocking to the others since wearing long sleeve shirts and pants wasn't something I did.

As time went on, their relationship grew stronger. My complection became paler then my normal tone almost to the point where I looked absoultly sick. I would barley eat anymore, I could go hours without food. Cutting became a frequent thing, it was my only escape. My heart was in pieces and there was nothing i could do but hide. I hid how hurt i was inside, how i was destroying myself, and it was all because of Paula.

: the first chapter was pretty dark, I know but let me know what you think ? thanks 3 .