Ice LunaWolf- Hi everyone! Welcome to my new fanfic! This one is a crack fic with anime characters from different anime. Someone do the disclaimer please!

Ciel- Ice LunaWolf does not own Black Butler, FullMetal Alchemist, and Higurashi: When They Cry!

Ice LunaWolf- But I do own the oc character Dr. Nyra Leighton.

…

Dr. Leighton- Hello everyone! I'm Dr. Nyra Leighton and welcome to the Anime Self Help Support Group! Since this is the first group session, why don't you introduce yourselves and tell us why you're here!

Sebastian- Hello, I'm Sebastian Michaelis and I am the butler of the Phantomhive Manor. I'm here because my young master thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with cats.

Ciel- Well you do, Sebastian!

Sebastian- I do not, bocchan!

Ciel- Yes you do! You always ignore my orders whenever there's a cat around and when you pet a cat, it looks like you're molesting the poor thing!

Sebastian- I do not!

Dr. Leighton- Next.

Ciel- I'm Earl Ciel Phantomhive and I'm here because my butler thinks I have an unhealthy obsession with desserts!

Sebastian- And you also have a dress fetish and you possibly have haphephobia.

Ciel- BASTARD! I DON'T HAVE A DRESS FETISH!

Sebastian- Bocchan, I caught you in your bedroom wearing a dress 8 times in 2 weeks!

Ciel- *blushing* Shut up!

Grell- Hi! I'm Grell Sutcliff and I'm a butler for Death! I'm here because I'm soooo obsesses with Sebby!

Sebastian- *shudder*

Grell- Who wouldn't be obsesses with that hot sexy demon butler!

Dr. Leighton- Your file also states that you're gender confused.

Grell- I AM NOT GENDER CONFUSED! I am 100 percent woman!

Dr. Leighton- Ok…

Alois- Hi! I'm the fabulous Alois Trancy! I'm here because I'm obsesses with booty shorts, Ciel, poking out peoples' eyes, Justin Bieber, Claude, and men! Oh and my servants think I'm bipolar!

Dr. Leighton- o.o

Viscount Druitt- Hello everyone! I am the Fabulous and Gorgeous Viscount Aleister Druitt! I am here because I'm obsesses with finding the beautiful little robin that I met at my party months ago! How I long to glazes at her heavenly beauty!

Ciel- *shudder*

Ed- Hi. I'm Edward Elric and I'm the Fullmetal Alchemist!

Alois- I thought the tall guy in the armor was Fullmetal, not this little runt!

Ed- WHO ARE YOU CALLING A LITTLE RUNT, YOU BOOTY SHORT LOVING BIPOLAR SLUT!

Alois- Claude, the blonde girl is being mean to me!

Claude- ….

Ed- I'm not a girl!

Viscount Druitt- Hello my lovely golden canary! How about having a romantic dinner with me tonight?

Dr. Leighton- Some else to add to Mr. Druitt's file! Confuses young boys for girls!

Ed- WHAT THE HELL! I AM NOT A GIRL!

Dr. Leighton- Mr. Elric, please calm down and tell us why you're here!

Ed- I'm here because I'm obsesses with alchemy and making myself taller!

Al- And brother has anger issues and daddy issues!

Ed- Shut up, Al!

Al- Hi everyone. I'm Ed's younger brother, Alphonse Elric! I'm here because I'm obsesses with cats! I hid at least 50 cats in my armor! Meow!

Sebastian- KITTIES!

Ciel- NO SEBASTIAN!

Dr. Leighton- SECURITY!

Security man- *comes into the room* Yes, Madam?

Dr. Leighton- REMOVE ALL THE CATS FROM THE YOUNG MAN'S ARMOR IMMEDIATELY!

Al- NOOOO! NOT MY KITTIES!

(30 minutes later)

Al- *crying in a corner* my kitties…

Dr. Leighton- Next.

Roy- Hi! I'm Roy Mustang and I don't know why I'm here!

Riza- *puts a gun to Roy's head*

Roy- Ok! I'm here because I'm obsesses with mini skirts and I burn things when I get mad!

Riza- And?

Roy- And everyone at the office are sick of Ed and I arguing all the time!

Ed- Well it's your fault, bastard!

Roy- It is not!

Ed- It is too! You always tease me, Colonel Sarcasm!

Roy- You're always breaking down my door and you're always costing the military money because you destroy everything you touch!

Ed- WELL YOU DON'T SEND ME ON WILD GOOSE CHASES THAT ALMOST GETS ME KILLED!

Roy- IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SO TINY THAT A MOUSE COULD CRUSH YOU!

Ed- I'M NOT TINY! I'M STILL GROWING, YOU CORRUPTED COLONEL BASTARD WITH A GOD COMPLEX! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU SUCK IN BED!

Roy- I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COMPLAINING LAST NIGHT!

Ciel- O.O

Alois- O.O

Sebastian- O.O

Grell- O.O

Al- *still in his corner*

Dr. Leighton- O.O Are you guys married?

Ed- NO! HE'S MY BASTARD BOYFRIEND!

Dr. Leighton- Ok… Note to self, get these two some couples therapy.

Maes Hughes- Hi everyone! I'm Maes Hughes! Would you guys like to see some pictures of my darling daughter and my beautiful wife?

Roy- I SWEAR I'M GONNA TORCH THOSE PICTURES OF YOUR, HUGHES!

Dr. Leighton- Why are you here, Mr. Hughes?

Maes Hughes- I'm here because some people think I'm too obsesses with my family!

Roy- Well you do! You're always bragging about them and you show dozens of photos of them to everyone!

Maes Hughes- I also take photos of you and Ed! *holds up photos of Roy and Ed* These are you and Ed getting it on in your office!

Sebastian- *covers Ciel's eyes with his hand*

Roy and Ed- WHAT!

Dr. Leighton- YAOI! *tackles Hughes* GIVE ME YAOI!

Everyone- O.O

Dr. Leighton- *takes photos from Hughes* Hehe! I'm fine, everyone. It's just a little hobby of mine!

Alois- Sure!

Dr. Leighton- Be quiet! Anyway, who's next?

Rena- Hi! I'm Rena Ryugu and I'm here because I'm so obsesses with cute thing that I kidnap them! Can I have pirate boy? He's soooo cute!

Ciel- Pirate boy?

Rena- *grabs Ciel and runs* You so cute that I'm gonna take you home and lock you in my basement and never let you go!

Ciel- SEBASTIAN, SAVE ME!

Dr. Leighton- SECURITY! STOP THAT GIRL!

Sebastian- I'll handle this, Doctor. *goes after Rena and Ciel*

(20 minutes later)

Rena- *tied to a chair*

Dr. Leighton- Are you ok, Mr. Phantomhive?

Ciel- *shaking while sitting on Sebastian's lap* I'm fine….

Dr. Leighton- Ok. I think that is all for today's group session. You may all go home now, but be back here on Friday for our next session!

Everyone- Ok.

Alois- Lets go home and have some kinky fun, Claude! *leaves*

Claude- … *follows Alois*

Ciel- Sebastian, take me home now!

Sebastian- Yes, my lord! *leaves while carrying Ciel*

Grell- Sebby, wait for me! *goes after Sebastian*

Maes Hughes- Better head home to my darling wife and daughter! *leaves*

Roy- Lets go home to bed, Fullmetal!

Ed- You're sleeping on the couch tonight, colonel bastard! Let's go, Al!

Al- Coming, brother… *still sad*

Roy- *pouts*

Riza- It's your own fault, sir! *leaves*

Viscount Druitt- Does my lovely golden canary want to come home with me? *wink*

Ed- FUCK OFF I'M TAKEN! *leaves with Al and a pouting Roy*

Viscount Druitt- *sighs* She's just like my pretty robin! *leaves*

Dr. Leighton- These guys are going to drive me crazy! *leaves*

Rena- *still tied to a chair* Hello! Anyone! I'm still here!

…

Ice LunaWolf- I hope you enjoy this! Sorry if it's a crappy crack fic!

Ciel- Please read and review!