~*~*~*~ A/N: Someone once said, write from experience. Well, I decided to take one of my own experiences (which I've been dwelling on recently), and turn it into a fic. I hope you enjoy. *~*~*~
Dear Journal,
He started doing it today. I should have seen it coming long ago, but it completely caught me by surprise. His cousin Merry, of course, had been doing it a lot recently, but never had I imagined Pippin to. This elusive "it" of course, is being attracted to girls. Other girls, of course, never me. Pippin can't see me like that. Even if I wished for it every night for the next year, it would never happen. I'm his best friend, a sister more like, and he just.. doesn't see me. Oh, Journal, it hurts more than I can say; to love someone so much and have him see someone else. I wish he could see me, I do, but I cannot make him.
Today, it was that Diamond of Longcleeve. (A/N: *growl*) Of course it was her, with her long blonde hair and flirty eyelashes. You should have seen the way he looked at her; the way I catch myself looking at him sometimes. Merry knows that I adore Pippin completely, but he says nothing. I'm glad for that, for if Pippin was aware of my feelings for him; he would think it strange. He would probably avoid me, and I would not want that. Being his friend is better than being nothing at all, is it not?
With a sigh, I closed the leatherbound book I scrawled my writings in and wiped a tear from my cheek. Sniffling, I tucked the journal carefully underneath my feather mattress and sat up. It was well after luncheon, and I was to meet Merry and Pippin for our daily walk. This had begun as a tradition, back when Merry was still just a 'tween, several years ago, and we still walked about Tookborough and Buckland, every day.
I stood, straightening my dress, and grabbed a jacket. It was a bit chilly, or so my father told me. I set out, hugging my arms tightly about me. Up the road, I saw Pippin and Merry, waiting for me underneath the large Oak that had been there since before even The Old Took was born.
"Merry, Pip," I said softly, and the boys regarded me with a nod. We started walking conversation beginning as well.
"I have asked Diamond to Bilbo's party," said Pip with a grin, and Merry nodded, also smiling. I faked a smile, forcing it to my lips, though inside I was screaming.
"What did she say?" asked Merry, taking a pipe from his pocket and filling it with pipeweed.
"Yes, of course," said Pippin eagerly, also stuffing his pipe. "After all, who could resist my charms?"
Merry laughed, and I looked down. Certainly not I.. I could not. I dared not look back up, afraid that Pippin would see through me, right into my mind, and the thoughts that were there.
"Is something wrong, Daffodil?" Pippin asked, as he drew a puff of his pipe. I shook my head quickly, muttering some response that was far too foolish for Pippin to be bothered with.
"You seem strange today," said Merry gently, looking at me carefully. I felt the red blush that was slowly claiming my cheeks go to my ears as well. "Is it some sort of a girl issue?"
"Yes, that must be it," said Pippin softly, nodding. "'Tis all right, I heard my sisters talking all about it."
I glared at the ground, face red, not daring to defend myself against these accusations. We walked in silence for a while, and then Pippin and Merry began their talk of girls once more. I winced as Pippin went on about the beauty of Diamond, and how he wished to kiss her, and hug her, and hold her hand. Why, oh why, was I allowing myself to experience such torture?
"What of you, Daf?" asked Pippin, quickly turning his attention to me. "Do you have any boys in mind?"
My mind went blank; for there was only one boy forever in my mind, and that was the asker of the question. "Well.. not exactly," I muttered, and Pip shook his head.
"You ought to find someone, Daffy," he said, and slapped me on the back. That nickname he had for me since we were just small Hobbits. As his hand touched me, it almost burned, stinging my nerves. I wanted more than a friendly slap on the back, a playful shove, a fake headlock. I wanted to kiss him, and hug him, and hold his hand.
Instead, I remained silent, and listened to him and Merry continue their conversation of girls.
~*~*~* A/N: Let me know what you think! ^.^ *~*~*~
Dear Journal,
He started doing it today. I should have seen it coming long ago, but it completely caught me by surprise. His cousin Merry, of course, had been doing it a lot recently, but never had I imagined Pippin to. This elusive "it" of course, is being attracted to girls. Other girls, of course, never me. Pippin can't see me like that. Even if I wished for it every night for the next year, it would never happen. I'm his best friend, a sister more like, and he just.. doesn't see me. Oh, Journal, it hurts more than I can say; to love someone so much and have him see someone else. I wish he could see me, I do, but I cannot make him.
Today, it was that Diamond of Longcleeve. (A/N: *growl*) Of course it was her, with her long blonde hair and flirty eyelashes. You should have seen the way he looked at her; the way I catch myself looking at him sometimes. Merry knows that I adore Pippin completely, but he says nothing. I'm glad for that, for if Pippin was aware of my feelings for him; he would think it strange. He would probably avoid me, and I would not want that. Being his friend is better than being nothing at all, is it not?
With a sigh, I closed the leatherbound book I scrawled my writings in and wiped a tear from my cheek. Sniffling, I tucked the journal carefully underneath my feather mattress and sat up. It was well after luncheon, and I was to meet Merry and Pippin for our daily walk. This had begun as a tradition, back when Merry was still just a 'tween, several years ago, and we still walked about Tookborough and Buckland, every day.
I stood, straightening my dress, and grabbed a jacket. It was a bit chilly, or so my father told me. I set out, hugging my arms tightly about me. Up the road, I saw Pippin and Merry, waiting for me underneath the large Oak that had been there since before even The Old Took was born.
"Merry, Pip," I said softly, and the boys regarded me with a nod. We started walking conversation beginning as well.
"I have asked Diamond to Bilbo's party," said Pip with a grin, and Merry nodded, also smiling. I faked a smile, forcing it to my lips, though inside I was screaming.
"What did she say?" asked Merry, taking a pipe from his pocket and filling it with pipeweed.
"Yes, of course," said Pippin eagerly, also stuffing his pipe. "After all, who could resist my charms?"
Merry laughed, and I looked down. Certainly not I.. I could not. I dared not look back up, afraid that Pippin would see through me, right into my mind, and the thoughts that were there.
"Is something wrong, Daffodil?" Pippin asked, as he drew a puff of his pipe. I shook my head quickly, muttering some response that was far too foolish for Pippin to be bothered with.
"You seem strange today," said Merry gently, looking at me carefully. I felt the red blush that was slowly claiming my cheeks go to my ears as well. "Is it some sort of a girl issue?"
"Yes, that must be it," said Pippin softly, nodding. "'Tis all right, I heard my sisters talking all about it."
I glared at the ground, face red, not daring to defend myself against these accusations. We walked in silence for a while, and then Pippin and Merry began their talk of girls once more. I winced as Pippin went on about the beauty of Diamond, and how he wished to kiss her, and hug her, and hold her hand. Why, oh why, was I allowing myself to experience such torture?
"What of you, Daf?" asked Pippin, quickly turning his attention to me. "Do you have any boys in mind?"
My mind went blank; for there was only one boy forever in my mind, and that was the asker of the question. "Well.. not exactly," I muttered, and Pip shook his head.
"You ought to find someone, Daffy," he said, and slapped me on the back. That nickname he had for me since we were just small Hobbits. As his hand touched me, it almost burned, stinging my nerves. I wanted more than a friendly slap on the back, a playful shove, a fake headlock. I wanted to kiss him, and hug him, and hold his hand.
Instead, I remained silent, and listened to him and Merry continue their conversation of girls.
~*~*~* A/N: Let me know what you think! ^.^ *~*~*~