Hello, and thanks for reading my first fiction. Alice is the story of, you guessed it, Alice. We find out that Alice knows little about her previous life. She does find out that she was in a psych ward of some sort. This story shows Alice's path to find herself, or should I say her previous self. This before Breaking Dawn just to let you know. Don't want to give away anything if you haven't read the last book.

PLEASE JUST RED TO THE THIRD OR FOURTH CHAPTER. STUFF ACTUALLY HAPPENS! THANKS. I PUT THE PREFACE AND SECOND CHAPTER TOGETHER.

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.: Preface :.

Institutionalized. Crazy. Psychotic.

Call me what you want. You, the innocent bystander, probably know more about me than I do myself. It's been years and all I can acquire about my past life is that no one cared about me enough to take me out of that hideous and horrid loony bin. Was I crazy? Had I gone completely mad? Where was my family, my friends? Or were they gone too?

Alice.

That name is all I have left of myself. All I have left of the past, the present, the future. I guess time shouldn't matter all that much to me, or to us. Immortality is a gift. Shouldn't I be happy about this life Carlisle chose for me.

I know, that somewhere deep inside my resting soul that I will always long and yearn to know what might have been, or what already was.

Alice is all I have left of myself. Somehow, I need more.

.:|:.

.: Wonderland :.

Caught in a dream. I wish. I think all of us vampires longed to have that sensation of sleep and the ever so taken for granted thing humans call dreams. The closest thing I get to a peaceful and serene place like that is in my visions. When I see the future I am taken away from what's happening at the moment. All I see is what will be and not what is. I aspire for the roles to be reversed. I want to be able to see the past. I want to dream. It's like I am caught in a never ending insomnia. I want to be taken from this world into open space, to dream of what was.

I could always think. Daydream. I've always imagined, with a child like wonder, what my life was like. At least before I found out I was trapped inside that hellish dwelling. In my thoughts I was happy. Back then, at least. Not that I am not happy now. I just have this rock at the pit of my stomach, this pain that cannot be explained. Is my heart three sizes too small. Am I really that helpless that I have to compare myself to "The Grinch?" I imagine I was in school, learning the wonders of the world. Back then school would have challenged me, and things that I know now would have ignited so much interest and inspiration. Family. A void that was filled when Carlisle changed me. I have so many people around me. I shouldn't be like this. How does Edward feel when he reads these thoughts? Insufficient, I would guess. Or maybe he feels the same way. Am I still crazy? Of course he doesn't feel the same way. He has Bella. If he were to go back and choose between a short life without his one true love and long never ending life with Bella, what do you think he'd choose? I think everyone would sway with Edward on the question.

I still long to know where was my family? Was I missed, or am I topic that is only whispered about at the family reunions. They're long gone now; except for my niece. How would I start that conversation anyway? 'Hi, remember your loony aunt. Well that's me.' I think I'd need a different approach. I could befriend her, and casually bring up the topic. Okay, now I'm boarding on the line between normal and psychotic. That thought seems to be creeping into my mind lately. Maybe I was right to be put in that place.

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