note:
I was listening to the song We Move Lightly by Dustin O'Halloran when I had the idea for this, and I listened to it the entire time I wrote it, so if you want to, listen to it as you read. It sets the tone for it really well I think. Yeah… Enjoy.
True death is falling with no one reaching for you. Knowing fully well that no one ever will again. You're still there, but you're gone for them. Still there in the back of their minds, resting in a piece of their hearts never accessed, but gone. Not quite forgotten, but past looking for. Past missing and longing. Beyond reach. Forever.
Trying to reach out to them is useless. They can't see you any longer. As much as it hurts to accept, they'll never be able to speak with you freely without a price being paid. But at what cost would any of them go to find me? In a place where there is no life or death. Caught in the seams of time, seemingly dead, but very much alive. If only someone would go check, digging through the soil watered by tears, and find me lying at the bottom, not breathing but pulse still pumping.
This has been my life for the past year. I'm still here. It's hard to explain, but I'm ok. Find me. I miss you all. I trust you to find me, Gray. Before I really am gone for good. Thank you for unknowingly waiting for me all this time. I still love you even in this post death stage. Wherever I am. I'm sorry you've thought I was dead the whole time. Help me come back. Find me. You're the only one who can.
-Juvia Lockser
The next day Gray found the letter on his bed. Shock was evident on his face before tears clouded his vision. Gray Fullbuster wasn't usually one to cry, preferring to keep his cool facade on at all times. This was one of the few times he let that illusion crumble. Still hearing the words of the letter echoing in his mind, he ran with tears of confusion streaming down his face until he reached Juvia's grave. He stood panting before the grave before dropping to his knees and staring at the headstone. More tears watered the soil that covered the girl he loved from sight. He hesitantly ran his fingers over where her name was engraved before digging through the dirt with his hands. He became more frantic as he dug deeper.
He didn't stop when Lucy noticed him and yelled his name. He didn't stop when he saw Mira, Erza, and other concerned members of the guild stop and look on as Natsu, Gajeel, and Laxus all began running towards him. He couldn't stop. Even as many of the girls began crying at the sight of him breaking down. It took the combined strength of Natsu, Gajeel, and Laxus to pull him away from the grave and into the guild. Her grave. He struggled the entire time to get away from them and go back to where Juvia was. He yelled as loudly as he could to be let go, that Juvia was alive, and…that he loved her. Natsu threw him roughly to the floor.
"You think you're the only one suffering? That this isn't hard on all of us?" He yelled. Gray shook his head and held back more bitter tears that threatened to fall.
"She's alive though. There was a letter." He choked out. Everyone stiffened.
"What letter?" Erza asked gently as she kneeled down next to him on the floor.
"From Juvia." He said, holding out the dirty letter that was still clutched in his hand. Erza took it and opened it up. She was silent for a moment before speaking softly.
"Gray, this piece of paper is blank."
note:
Wow. What did I just…? This is what you get when it's raining outside and I decide to write. I'm contemplating on whether to leave this as is or write more to it, so please review and tell me what you think I should do. Thanks for reading. Until Then.