Indelible (maybe)

By Erin Griffin

Fandom: Warehouse 13

Pairing: Slight Myka/Helena

Summary: As Myka stays away from the Warehouse to think on things, she meets an online friend who helps her find her way back.

A/N: Thanks to erinmar13 for talking the story out with me. It was because of that I was able to find the ending to this story.

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Myka slowly hung her coat up on the rack as she walked into her new apartment. It was in the same complex she used to live in before moving into Leena's Bed and Breakfast with the Warehouse workers, but her original apartment had been rented out. This new apartment, though smaller, was closer to the mailboxes and washing machines, plus it had a better view (and no noisy neighbors living upstairs, as she was on the top floor). The former agent went through her evening routine after a long day working at her father's bookstore. She took a shower, started dinner, and went to the TV where she watched the news. Even six months later, Myka could spot strange stories on ZNN and link them to artifacts. She'd never report them to her former teammates, knowing that if a TV news network had gotten a hold of it, then the team at Warehouse 13 were already on it and had probably already snagged, bagged and tagged whatever it was that caused the story.

Myka turned off the news after she'd eaten, and stared for a long moment at her computer screen, which had words from various novels scrolling across it. Over a month ago, Myka gave in to the temptation to check email. She was as addicted as anyone else to her online music player, and when her father had delegated the job of finding rare book sellers, she'd begun to remember why she loved the internet so much, and why it had been better that she'd stayed away.

She found a couple of new e-penpals through a book-lover's chatroom, and kept up with them just about every night for a while, before one of them dropped off the face of the Earth, leaving her to talk to her friend in Germany. She always intended to stay online for a couple of hours, only to be roped into staying online well into the early morning hours. Her friend claims to be an insomniac, and Myka would believe it too, since she always seemed to be there when she logged on. The two of them played chess or cards as they chatted, mostly about books, since that was the main thing besides food that they had in common. As Myka logged in under a new screen name she was certain Claudia wouldn't find right away, she saw that her friend was online.

indelible_heart said: Good evening, dear.

childlikewonder said: Good morning to you!

Myka grinned as she watched the screen while it told her that 'indelible_heart' was typing, and then she went on to check her email. Though her computer blipped, telling her that her friend had entered her reply, Myka continued her email check. Other than a potential book seller, there wasn't anything to suggest that Claudia had found her on the new email server. It was only a matter of time before the hacker did what she was so good at and found her before filling her inbox with messages like the last one. It wasn't that Myka didn't want to talk to the Warehouse agents. She missed them from the moment she had Mrs. Fredrick deliver the letter. She couldn't face them, knowing she had failed them, knowing she had almost gotten them and millions of others killed. She wasn't safe to be around anymore, but she allowed this electronic friendship, someone who knew her thoughts pretty well, but was far enough away that you can hurt each other. Myka saw the appeal of online relationships, but knew she could never be in one herself.

indelible_heart said: I hope you found what you were looking for on Monday.

childlikewonder said: The man didn't want to sell it after all. No worries, right?

indelible_heart said: Right you are, dear.

childlikewonder said: How was your day and night?

indelible_heart said: As usual, I slept during the day and did a bit of poetry writing at around seven. Can you imagine? Me? Writing poetry?

childlikewonder said: I'd love to read what you've written.

indelible_heart said: I think I'll keep this one to myself. I'd hate for you to think ill of me because I cannot seem to write a respectable poem. ;)

childlikewonder said: It can't be that bad. And if it was, it can't be nearly as bad as the poem I sent you the week we met.

indelible_heart said: Your writing is very beautiful, dear, just as I'm sure you are.

childlikewonder said: You flatter me, but I hope someday you'll trust me enough to send me even the worst of you writing.

indelible_heart said: I trust you immensely. It's me I don't trust. My poems are so terrible they would cause harm to your eyes.

childlikewonder said: I know all about not trusting yourself, but seriously, if you change your mind, my inbox is always open.

indelible_heart said: Thank you, dear.

Myka smiled softly at the screen, partially hoping her friend would send the poems along after that, but when she refreshed her page and saw nothing there, she sighed.

childlikewonder said: So, what are we playing tonight? Chess? Or would you rather join a game of Hearts?

indelible_heart said: My computer is running a bit slow this morning, and I'm sure it would combust if I tried to open a game of chess. It surprises me that conversing with you has yet to do the job.

childlikewonder said: Haha, well, I can let you go for the night if you like.

indelible_heart said: No, I would like to take full advantage of my chatbox while it still works. There was something I wanted t ask you anyway, and if I don't ask you right now, I know I will forget again.

childlikewonder said: Sure thing.

indelible_heart said: Remember last week when we talked about what we were like as children, and you said that your white bear got you teased?

childlikewonder said: Yes, I remember that conversation.

indelible_heart said: You mentioned a lot of names in that conversation, but you only told me about your parents and your sister. In fact, I know those names now when I never even learned your name.

childlikewonder said: That's because you wanted to remain nameless, Indelible. :)

indelible_heart said: You insufferable thing! I suspect you're purposely dancing around the subject, but I am too curious to let it go so easily.

Myka was unsure how to answer this. It was easy to claim them as family, but she'd left them so suddenly. She could hardly do that to family, so did she have the right to claim them as such and be apart of that family anymore?

childlikewonder said: They were friends.

indelible_heart said: Tell me about them. Please.

childlikewonder said: I'd rather not.

indelible_heart said: Did you have a falling out?

childlikewonder said: Something like that.

There was a pause as Myka thought about the things she'd said to Pete before she left, things she wouldn't have gotten to say had Helena pulled the trigger that day in Yellowstone. She hoped her words helped him, and she was glad she even had the chance to tell him at all. Myka noticed that many minutes had passed since her last entry.

childlikewonder said: Are you still there, or did your computer finally combust?

indelible_heart said: I am still here. I got lost in my thoughts, I suppose.

childlikewonder said: Same here.

indelible_heart said: I know you don't want to talk about it, but I'll ask anyway. Have you or your friends tried to talk since your "something like a falling out"?

childlikewonder said: My, you're persistent.

indelible_heart said: As are you.

childlikewonder said: Yes, one of them has emailed me a bunch, but I don't think I can talk to her yet, let alone face any of them.

indelible_heart said: It's a good sign when one party is willing to talk, isn't it? If they were in the wrong, it shows they are wanting to apologize, and if you were the one who was wrong, then they obviously forgive you if you're getting a lot of emails from them.

Myka leaned back in her chair and bit her lip. She wished she'd chanced that trip to the grocery store like she'd wanted to after work. She was out of Twizzlers and regretted the decision to go straight home.

childlikewonder said: I know you're right, Indelible, but

Myka sighed and completed the sentence.

I'm scared.

indelible_heart said: I gathered that, but I also see that you love them, and they love you. I get the feeling that you need them, Wonder. And I'm sure they need you, too.

childlikewonder said: So much time has passed.

indelible_heart said: But not TOO much time, dear. Do you understand that there's such a big difference there? Ring your friends. I'm sure they'll be happy that you did, if only to know how you are doing.

childlikewonder said: I don't know.

indelible_heart said: If you summon the courage to call your friend, I'll send you a poem. Deal?

childlikewonder said: That's unfair, but I'll call. Now, gimme!

Myka smiled, but her chest fluttered when she thought about calling the Warehouse. Refreshing the email page after a couple of minutes, she saw that her online friend had sent her the poem. When she opened it, she recognized it right away as the Shakespeare poem she remembered her friend mentioning as her favorite.

childlikewonder said: Hey!

indelible_heart said: I never said that I'd give you MY poem.

childlikewonder said: You got me, but I am a woman of my word. I'll honor the deal and call my friends.

indelible_heart said: I hope it is a long conversation, dear. Before I go, I want to warn you that I may not be online for a while.

childlikewonder said: Computer issues?

indelible_heart said: Yes. I've also decided to do a bit of traveling. I'm telling you now in case my laptop does die on me and we don't speak for a long time. I didn't want you to ever think its because I didn't want to speak with you. You've always been the best part of my day since we met. You're what I look forward to.

Myka felt her cheeks grow hot. Her friend always called her dear and complimented her often, but being around Helena, she'd gotten used to comments like those. She hadn't realized, though, that her friend Indelible felt the same way she did.

childlikewonder said: I'm glad you feel the same way I do. You've been a great comfort to me this last month. Thank you.

indelible_heart said: I'm honored. Ring your friends. I've got to go now.

Myka felt suddenly like a petulant child who didn't want to go to bed. She got the feeling somehow that she would never speak to Indelible again, and she wanted to stay online with her for a lot more time. She nodded, knowing her friend wouldn't see it, and went through their sign off routine as if they were going to speak again the very next day, anyway.

childlikewonder said: Have a good day.

indelible_heart said: Sleep well, Darling.

Myka was stunned. Instead of 'dear' as usual, her friend had used an endearment she hoped she never heard again, and yet somehow, it was okay. She wondered if Indelible knew the same thing, that they weren't going to speak again, or if so, it wouldn't be for quite some time. Myka watched as indelible_heart's name went grey, signaling that her friend had gone offline, and she sighed sadly, missing her already. Myka then picked up her phone off of its charger. She scrolled the names and easily found Claudia's name, pressing the call button before bringing the phone to her ear nervously.

Helena sniffed as she blew her nose once more. She'd just checked herself in the mirror of the internet café's bathroom again when she felt her mobile phone go off. Since only one person other than the company she purchased the phone from knew the number, she didn't need to check the display to know who called her. She pressed the button that connected the call and waited, knowing the caller would get the first word. There was no greeting or pleasantry.

"She called. She's coming back," Claudia gushed.

"I'm glad. She needs you and the Warehouse," Helena replied.

"I knew she'd always listen to you, s'why I approached you when I found you both on the same day." Helena didn't respond to this. She knew what was coming next. "So you know the deal. You got to speak to Myka, she comes back to the Warehouse where we shower her with love and Twizzlers, and I tell no one you've been hiding out in Germany for the last 2 months since you escaped from wherever the hell you were taken. Everybody's happy."

"There were two things I wanted to say to her, and as 'indelible_heart', I couldn't say either of them," Helena said softly.

"You get one last contact to say goodbye before I shut down the account. Think of it as a thank you. After that, I'll turn you in if you so much as Tweet her again, hear me?"

"Yes."

"I suggest you get out of Germany. I hear Toronto isn't too cold this time'a year."

"Thank you Claud-"

"One week, one last contact and then I close the account. Artie's calling me. Goodbye, H.G."

"Good-" There was a click and then Helena closed the phone as more tears welled in her eyes.

Four days later, after Myka packed up the last of her kitchen items, she went to her computer to start packing it away. She paused. She hadn't heard from Indelible in that time. She instead read through the many emails that Claudia had left her, and was surprised and ashamed at just how many there were. The hacker averaged about 4 emails a day, some updating Myka on what was happening in the Warehouse, some emails with jokes and comics in them, some pleading with Myka to come back, and later, some that acted as journal entries (namely, rants about Artie). That day, she'd finished the last of the emails, though the guilt was still there. She told herself that she would make it up to Claudia somehow, and be the sister she needed all this time even if it meant ribbing her about her crush on the new guy.

Myka went to her other account to see if there were any emails that needed to be forwarded to her father, and she was surprised at what she found.

To: childlikewonder

From: indelible_heart

Subject: The poem I owe you ;)

Myka read the poem with a smile on her face as her heart beat a little faster. When she was done, she wrote a note back, saying thanks and telling her friend that her poem was wonderful, which wasn't a lie. The email bounced back immediately, telling Myka that the account no longer existed. "No…" Myka said sadly, slumping back in her chair. She wished more than anything to have a chance to speak to Indelible again.

*I wanted to write the poem, but I am so horrible myself at it, and figuring out a way to incorporate Helena into Indelible in the poem without Myka figuring it out was SO HARD! I hope you don't hold that against me.*