"I've never kissed a guy."

"No way," Ino gasped, throwing a hand to her face. "I had absolutely no idea."

Beside her, Sakura exploded into a fit of giggles, punching Ino on the arm for her sarcasm. "Leave her alone, Ino-pig. At least she's not like you, whoring around with all the guys in Konoha. I mean, if I get compared to you during sex one more time..."

Ino fluffed her ponytail, grinning. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, back to the game." She turned toward Tenten, rolling her eyes. "That one totally doesn't count; we all knew you were a face-sucking virgin. The point of the game is to say things that people don't know about you, not things that are blatantly obvious."

Tenten's eyebrow twitched. "What are you saying, Ino."

Sakura raised an eyebrow, grinning mischievously. "Snap, Tenten's getting angry. Best choose your words wisely, Ino. I'd hate to pick the kunais out of you later; it'd ruin my nails."

"What I mean," Ino began, ignoring Sakura, "is that you just radiate virgin. I mean, the hair," she gestured toward the buns, "the clothes," she gripped the shirt, flaunting its bagginess, "the fact that you wear no makeup whatsoever... It's all just so obvious!"

Tenten rolled her eyes, groaning. "Well I'm just so sorry that it bothers you that I wear my hair up every now and then. And these clothes are comfortable!" Tenten fisted her customary red and white uniform, straightening it. "Besides, makeup is for civilians, not shinobi."

"No," Ino corrected, shaking her head, "makeup is for kunoichi, which you are. When are you going to finally put your shaded femininity to good use and woo that teammate of yours? Kami, what's his name?"

"N-Neji-nii-san?" Hinata provided hesitantly, nibbling on her popcorn. Tenten sent her a strangled glare.

"Yes, that's the one, Neji!" Ino tsked, sighing. "I can't believe I always forget his name... I mean, you talk about him all the time; you would think I'd commit it to memory already."

"Please!" Sakura complained, laughing, "you couldn't even remember your boyfriend of four month's name; it's not surprising that the love of Tenten's life evades you." Ino shrugged, but made no move to correct her comment. After all, she was right. Ino had dated him for three or four months before finally giving up on him... the sex had been boring, anyway.

Kami, now what was his name?

"Anyway, what Ino was saying," Sakura interrupted her musing with a smirk, "is that you should branch out for once and just try. What's the worse he can do, say no? Trust me, it's not as bad as it seems..." Sakura trailed off uncomfortably, realizing her mistake. Maybe that hadn't been the best thing to say, with her reputation...

"It doesn't matter anyway," Tenten replied, rolling her eyes, "because I don't like Neji."

Ino laughed. "Yeah, and I don't like boys. But you know, whatever. If you don't want him, I'd love to snatch him up. Banging him would probably be the best sex I've had in a while. I mean, he's got to wear those loose robes for a reason, am I right? I can just imagine how long his—"

"Ino!"

"Ha!" Ino shouted, pointing a finger at Tenten. "I knew it; I knew you cared!"

"Of course I care! You're visually raping my teammate and sparring partner in your mind!" Tenten shouted, finishing her share of popcorn and sending the Yamanaka an infuriating glare. "What other kind of reaction am I supposed to have?"

"Anyone but that one!" Ino laughed, throwing her popcorn at the raging kunoichi. "I knew you were in love with Neji! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" She leaned forward, brushing Tenten's bangs away from her face. "Hear that, Sakura? Tenten loves Neji!"

"U-Um... g-girls... I don't think..."

"I told you, I don't like Neji."

"Do too."

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

A chorus, now.

"Do not!"

"Do—"

"Girls!" Hinata shouted, quite uncharacteristically. Stunned, all three girls turned to gape in her direction. "I do not think now is the appropriate time to be discussing my cousin's relationship with Tenten. If she says that she does not like him, then we must trust her judgment. Leave her alone."

You would think someone had died with how quiet the room got.

As if realizing herself, Hinata glanced away, twiddling with her fingers. "I... I am sorry to have yelled... I, I just... I d-didn't want t-tonight to turn out badly. We s-so seldom get to s-see one another... May we please change the subject?"

Sakura nodded, the first to break the tension. "I think that would be best."

Across the way, Tenten sent Hinata a mouthed thanks.

. . .

"Sakura! Sakura, are you awake?" Ino leaned across the pillows, careful not to awake Hinata or Tenten with her ruckus. "Sakura, wake up! I have something to tell you!"

"Hm... runaway dogs," Sakura gave a noncommittal snore, switching positions. "Come here, puppy... I'll take you home if you... potatoes..." She mumbled something incoherently, kicking her foot underneath her covers.

Annoyed, Ino batted her head with a pillow.

"Ow, what the fuck was that for, Ino! I was trying to sleep!"

"I know," Ino answered, smug. "That's why I woke you up."

"Yeah, well, you better have a good reason for it." She sat up in bed, straightening her spine against the wall. Beside her, Tenten and Hinata slept peacefully. "I don't like to be woken up when I'm trying to get a good nights sleep... you know I have to train with Kakashi-sensei in the morning."

"But this is important," Ino protested, frowning. "I've got a plan to get Tenten to get together with Neji."

If Sakura had been more coherent, she probably would have suppressed her laugh. As it was, Sakura was not more coherent, and her chuckle resulted in yet another pillow-slap from Ino. "Kami, would you stop that already, I said I'm awake!"

"Then don't laugh at my idea, Forehead!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't have laughed if it wasn't so stupid! You'll never get Tenten to agree to make a move on Neji, not in a million years. She's too respectful for that, and I know you don't understand it because you've never had a deep connection in your life, but Tenten really cares about Neji. She wouldn't risk it."

At this, Ino smirked. "I never said anything about getting her permission..." She trailed off suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

Realization dawned on Sakura like a cold weight on her chest. "Oh, no way am I having a part in this. Do what you want, Ino, but I'm going back to bed." With that, she turned, pulling the blankets up over her face in her haste.

"Fine," Ino responded, indignant, "I'll do it without you. Not like I needed you anyway..."

Turning toward Tenten, Ino smacked her hands together, completing the hand seals necessary for her jutsu with maximum efficiency. "I hope you're ready, Neji, because Tenten's about to rock your world." She grinned, forming the last hand seal.

Seconds later, Ino's lifeless body slumped forward, falling back on its pillow.

Beside it, Tenten rose. "Because ready or not, here I come!"

AN: Because Ino is just so troublesome. I hope you enjoy. Reviews are adored.