Title: Courting Diaster
Author: TripOverFlatSurfaces
Rating: T
Summary: "War is cruel. War is merciless. War is tearing them apart at the seams. The world is in chaos." Set in Pre-Millefiore. TYL!Tsuna.
Warnings: Language and possible spoilers for the Future Arc.
Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! as it is the property of Akira Amano.
The air is tense. The mansion is eerily silent and people converse in whispers, as if it would be sacrilegious to speak any louder. Stress is a part of it too; Byakuran is still at large and hundreds die every day. For every woman there is a dead lover, husband, brother; for every man, a friend; every child, a parent. War is cruel. War is merciless. War is tearing them apart at the seams. The world is in chaos.
He's tired, Tsuna reflects. Tired of the killing, tired of death, tired of not being able to do anything. Byakuran and his misguided quest for the Vongola Rings…for what? Power? Fear? He feels the familiar rise of anger and hate. That man is a monster, and Tsuna will do anything to stop him, if only for his familiga. His family. The rage seeps out as fast as it came. His family. Tsuna drops his pen with a clatter onto the desk and buries his head into his hands. He takes slow, deep breathes, and then lifts up his head once he gains back some semblance of control. Another breath. "You can come in now Reborn."
A dark figure slips in through the door without a sound. "Hmph. You're getting better, Dame-Tsuna." Tsuna is almost relieved to hear Reborn's normal playful and mocking tone. Almost. The hitman looks awful. Gone is the usual impeccability; instead, his entire being, as well as his Armani suit, seems rumpled and heavy, weighed down by an invisible force. He looks…vulnerable. Tsuna refrains from commenting on it.
"Of course I am. I had to." There's not much either can say after that. Tsuna studies the man in front of him and a horrible feeling starts to well up in the pit of his stomach. If only he had…
"Stop," Reborn commands. "Don't dwell on things you can't change. It isn't your fault." He smirks and it is without humor. "We all should have realized sooner."
Tsuna only turns his head away, letting his eyes rest on a blank stack of paperwork. There's something silly about signing papers as the world collapses down around you. "Things we can't change, huh…?" Fingers reach over and fold one corner of paper over in a small act of defiance. He crumples the entire sheet, letting the crinkling fill the office, before smoothing it back out. He does it again, hyperaware of the way Reborn's stare burns into his skull. "Say, Reborn…if you could go back, what would you do differently?" he asks casually, nearly wistful.
The hitman's eyes narrow. "What are you getting at?"
Reborn, ever the suspicious one. He had a right to, though. They all did now. "Just answer the question."
"No."
"Reborn―"
The click of a gun echoes around the walls. "You're still a hundred years too early to try and fool me, Dame-Tsuna." The remark is soft and laced with steel. "You're planning something." It isn't a question.
"I'm not―"
"Don't." The hitman spits the word out in a rare show of emotion.
Tsuna clenches his hands until the knuckles turn white. He worries his lip, a habit he hasn't quite been able to get rid of. "…I can't tell you."
"And why not?" Silk over razor-sharp blades.
"I can't." Tsuna desperately wishes he is somewhere else. Any place but here, where Reborn looks as though he would like nothing more than to lunge over the desk and shake him until he answers.
"Dame-Tsuna…" the hitman snarls.
Tsuna feels himself crack, just a little bit. "I just can't, alright?" He realizes he has risen to his feet and shakily sinks back down into the chair. Idly, he notes that the gun has transformed back into Leon. "I can't…I…please, just trust me Reborn."
"You're last plan got them killed." Reborn's words cut deep and Tsuna flinches. A little piece of him is darkly gratified to see that Reborn regrets saying it as soon as it leaves his mouth. "No…that's―" The hitman runs a hand over his face in frustration. Tsuna is surprised that the man is being so open with him. "That was out of line."
"But you're right," Tsuna forces out. He swallows thickly. "It was my decision that got them killed." He wants to tell Reborn so badly. So badly it hurts…but no! He'll jeopardize the plan if he does, and the stakes are already much too high for it to fail. Steady, steady, don't break… "Even so, I can't just―just sit by and let Byakuran destroy this entire GODDAMN WORLD!" The wood of his chair groans in protest from the force of the grip he has on it. Noticing, Tsuna lets go as if it burns him.
He chuckles, with more than a touch of hysteria. He runs a hand through his hair. "I can't do this," Tsuna says more to himself than Reborn. "Hell, I can't even hold myself together. How pathetic is that?" His hands are shaking. "Goddammit…" he mutters. Reborn tugs the brim of his fedora down and averts his eyes. He doesn't say a thing and Tsuna isn't sure how he should feel about that. "Go. I―Just leave. Please." To his shock, Reborn listens.
The man pauses at the doorway. "Dame-Tsuna…" For a moment, he looks like he wants to say something more, before shaking his head a little and walking out.
"Reborn, wait…!" Tsuna's hand reaches forward, but Reborn is already gone. His arm falls limply to his side. The image of the hitman's back walking away is burned into his memory and it hits him hard. "He's not going to come back…" Tsuna murmurs to an empty room. After all, Hyper-Intuition is never wrong, he thinks bitterly. Only a few more days, he reminds himself before his resolve can waver.
"JUUDAIME!" The doors slam open. Gokudera slams a piece of paper down onto his desk. "Why were we not informed of this?" He is angry but his eyes peer at Tsuna with hurt confusion. Tsuna decides to play dumb and smiles with his eyes closed in order not to see the expression on Gokudera's face.
"Informed of what?" He makes sure to inject just the right amount of confusion into his tone.
"The Millefiore meeting in three days!" Gokudera is working himself into a frantic state and Tsuna feels guilty knowing that he is the cause. "Why are you going? Those bastards hate the Vongola, remember?"
"I know." Tsuna states simply.
"Then why―"
"But I still have to try, don't I?"
Gokudera stares at his boss helplessly. "Juudaime…"
"Don't worry about it," he assures his right hand man, "Everything will be fine." Then more quietly, "I'm sorry, Hayato." Only Tsuna knows he is apologizing for more than not informing his Guardians about the meeting.
Three more days until the world can end…
Tsuna hopes that it will be enough.
It has to be.
For his familiga.
Vongola will triumph. Tsuna will make sure of it.
.
.
.
A/N:I can't believe I just wrote that. After nearly a year of not being able to write because of feelings of inadequacy, as well as being a first time-ish fanfiction writer, I finally was inspired. I credit my inspiration to a book I recently read called The Fiction Class written by Susan Breen. Not only is it wonderfully written, it also gives the reader writing tips due to the main character teaching a fiction class. So go read it. ;P I promise you won't regret it.
I hope I don't sound too pushy, but reviews would be nice. Please, please, please point out any mistakes I have made so that I might hopefully avoid that in the future and improve. This was not beta'd, so you know… Thank you!