Dude, she's hot.
Oneshot.
It was a regular day at the park, and instead of working, Mordecai the Bluejay and Rigby the Raccoon were slacking off playing Karate Choppers.
"WHOOOOA! Double death combooo!" the two said in unison"
"Alright dude, I gotta go," said Mordecai, "I'm meeting Margaret for coffee"
"Aw man!" Rigby whined, "What am I sposed to do now?"
"I dunno, work maybe?" said a voice from behind the couch.
"Nah, screw that Benson, we're on our lunch break!" Rigby replied.
"Well I don't see you eating anything!" said Benson, half yelling at the short mammal.
"We were just about to leave for the coffee shop," said Rigby defiantly.
"Dude, come on," said Mordecai, "I'm finally gonna ask Margaret out today. I don't need you there throwing me off!"
"Pfft, yea, like you have the balls. Oh, umm, hey Margaret," mimicked Rigby, "I umm, was wondering if, umm-OW!" Rigby was silenced by his taller friends wing hitting his ribs. "Dude, calm down! I'm only screwing with you, I'll keep my mouth shut, I swear."
"Alright, but you better keep quiet, or else we might just have to play another round of punchies."
The two arrived at the coffee shop to be greeted by Margaret the Robin and Eileen the Mole.
"Hey Mordecai, hey Rigby," said Margaret.
"H-hey Margaret," said Mordecai nervously.
"Hey Rigby," said Eileen.
"Yea, hey," said Rigby unenthusiastically. It was obvious Rigby didn't want to be there, and he wasn't doing much to hide it.
"My shift just ended," said Margaret cheerfully, "Do you guys wanna go to the arcade?"
"Hells yea I do!" said Rigby, happy at the notion of leaving to play video games.
"Okay, just lemme get my bag. Eileen, are you coming?"
"No, I still have another hour left until my shift is over, but you guys have fun."
As the two girls walked away, Mordecai turned to Rigby. "Dude, do me a solid and stay here with Eileen"
"What?! Said Rigby incredulously, "no way, I wanna play strong johns!"
"Rigby," the Bluejay said sternly, "a solid is a solid. Remember the last time one of us didn't do it?
Rigby gulped, remembering how they almost died from Mordecai's reluctance. "Alright, I'll stay here. But you owe me a solid!"
"Deal," said the bird as Margaret approached.
"All right," she said, "Rigby, are you coming?"
"No," the raccoon replied grouchily, "I'm gonna stay here and get a cup of coffee."
"Okay, see you later."
After the two left, Eileen noticed Rigby had stayed behind. "Hey Rigby, why'd you stay here? Do you want some coffee?""
"Yea, sure. Mordecai wanted some alone time with Margaret, so I stayed behind."
"Aww, that's sweet. I'll go get your coffee."
As Eileen walked back to the kitchen, Rigby couldn't help but watch her go. Damn her, he thought, why does she have to sway her hips like that when she walks? Even though he would never admit it, Rigby did consider Eileen to be hot, even with her glasses on. When she came back, Rigby realized he had been staring at her the whole time.
"Rigby, are you okay? You look a little flushed."
"What? Oh, right, yea I'm fine, just pissed that Mordecai ditched me. He even took the cart."
"I can take you home if you want, my boss wont notice if I slip out for a few minutes"
"Sure," Rigby said, "lets go."
Dude, Rigby thought to himself as they walked to Eileen's car. You know she's hot, why don't you just tell her? Its not like she'll freak out, it's pretty obvious that she likes you, so what are you afraid of?
"Rigby," said Eileen, concern in her voice, "are you sure you're okay? You look really worried."
"What, me? Worried? Of course not," he lied, "I'm never worried!"
"Okay, but you know you can tell me anything, right?"
"Yea, I know," said Rigby, settling into his car seat. Anything but this, that is.
When they arrived at the park, Rigby still couldn't rap his head around Eileen. Something about her made him infuriated, but somehow happy at the same time.
"Let me walk you to your door, you still look a bit sick."
"I'm fine," the stubborn Raccoon said, but didn't object any further.
They got to the front porch, and Eileen turned to face Rigby.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked.
Screw it; I'm going for it.
"Eileen," Rigby started, still unsure of himself.
"Yes Rigby?"
"Do you want to come inside? We can hang out and play games, or I can make you my famous RigJuice, or-" He was silenced by Eileen's delicate fingers on his lips.
"I'd love to, but I've got to be back at work" she said sadly.
"Aww man, just for a little while?"
"Okay," she said, feeling sorry for the poor guy.
Mordecai did ditch him, after all, she reasoned. Her eyes were shining brown through her glasses, and Rigby couldn't help but feel a little guilty for ignoring her for so long. She so obviously likes, you, why do you have to be such an ass?
They both walked into the empty house (Pops and Benson were out working), and Rigby sat down next to Eileen on the couch.
"Eileen," he began, "I need to tell you something."
"What is it, Rigby?"
Before Eileen knew what was happening, Rigby's lips were on hers. He kissed her softly and pulled his head away. They looked at each other, and hastily moved their lips together again. Both were inexperienced, as much as Rigby says otherwise, but that didn't seem to matter now. Rigby's kiss was rough and greedy, and Eileen's was gentle and kind. He moved against her, holding her tightly, and bit her bottom lip. It was too much for Eileen, and she clung to him desperately, her hands running through his short brown fur.
After a while they moved apart for air, and Rigby grabbed Eileen's hand. "Do you wanna go to my room?" he suggested, a confident grin on his face.
"Sure," she replied, smiling as he led her up the stairs.
"Rigby?" called Mordecai, "I'm back, lunch blew. I totally screwed it up with Margaret. Ugh, I'm exhausted. Rigby? Are you home? Dude, you better not be pranking me, I'm so not in the mood. Why is the door locked? You better not be sleeping, Benson's gonna kill us." Mordecai fiddled with the lock to his bedroom and opened the door
"There you are, ugh DUDE, SICK!"
"Mordecai!" said Rigby sleepily, Eileen wrapped in his tail next to him, "The door was locked for a reason!"
"Sorry man, but at least cover up!"
"I DON'T WEAR CLOTHES! JUST GET OUT MAN!"
Mordecai quickly slammed the door and ran down the stairs, nearly smacking head first into Benson at the door.
"There you are!" he said angrily, "You and Rigby still need to clean out Skips garage and clean the fountain!"
"Benson man, now is not a good time. Seriously." The bird said, running outside and grabbing the nearest cart."
"Mordecai, get back here RIGHT NOW, or you're FIRED!"
"Its not worth it dude," he said, taking off towards the coffee shop.
Back upstairs, Eileen had finally woken up. "What was that, Rigby?" She asked.
"Nothing, just Mordecai being a tool."
"What? He saw me naked!" she said panicked.
"Who cares, you're hot anyway."
"Really?" she asked, snuggling closer to him. "Hotter than Margaret?"
"Way hotter, now shush, Benson's gonna make me work soon, and I wanna enjoy this while I still can."
"I love you, Rigby."
"I know," he said, pulling her closer, "I know."