A/N: I know I have other stories that have been left incomplete, but this is one idea that just wouldn't leave me alone until I got it out of my system. It will be a two part story. Warning for those of you that do not wished to be spoiled for series six as this does contain references to the first four episodes, particularly episode 4. Thanks to terriejane, a-lady-to-me, angel-princess-anna, and drstacib for giving me feedback and ideas for this one. I hope you all enjoy and please review.

Something wasn't right. He could feel it in his bones. And if there was one thing he knew it was to never ignore a hunch; it had served him well in the war. Though most would probably argue otherwise given his injury. But in truth he could have escaped unscathed if he had only been looking out for himself. And if he had only listened to that nagging feeling in the back of his head when it told him to follow Anna the night of the concert...No. He wouldn't dwell on that. Not now. Not when they had both come so far.

He looked up from his tea that had gone cool and let his eyes wander to the untouched plate of biscuits Mrs. Patmore had set out for him on a plate. Probably out of sympathy, he thought to himself. John was sure he looked like a lost puppy whenever Anna wasn't around to brighten his day. And even more so now. He felt like rubbish after hardly sleeping. Though that was usually the case when Anna wasn't lying beside him. But getting any sleep had been futile when he was busy fretting over his wife.

There was something amiss about the way she had hurried to leave so quickly in the middle of the night with Lady Mary. She said Lady Mary had been ill, but the eldest Crawley daughter certainly didn't look ill. In fact she had seemed very keen to give out orders, it was Anna who had looked out of sorts. She was practically grimacing the whole time they walked to the car, he didn't want to draw attention to the matter in case he was wrong. But he had also noticed the slow step of her gate as she walked, it was almost as pronounced as his limp. She barely met his eyes as they spoke to one another. As he helped her into her coat at the back door of the servants hall she had nearly forgotten to say 'goodbye' to him in her haste. He managed to steal a kiss in the doorway as they exited, but her heart wasn't in it somehow. But what concerned him most of all was when Lady Mary had told him not to worry as she climbed into the car. One never says such things unless there is reason to fret.

John pondered on the thought a little longer. His stomach felt empty, but he couldn't find it in himself to take a bite of the sweet treats laid out before him. Instead, he pushed the plate to the middle of the table and tried to go back to his reading. It was to no avail. Perhaps he could use a bit of a walk or some fresh air while he waited for his Lordship. He was about to close his book and leave the servants hall when he heard a conversation between Mrs. Baxter and Mr. Molesley.

"I'm surprised Lady Mary didn't take you to London instead of Anna," Mr. Molesley commented from his seat beside her at the table.

"Why do you say that?" Mrs. Baxter replied, her eyes never breaking focus from her sewing.

"Well, it's just you've been helping with some of her duties lately."

This piqued John's interest. He hadn't noticed Mrs. Baxter helping with Anna's duties. If she had needed help, why didn't she ask him?

"It has only been a few things here and there. It wasn't anything she couldn't handle on her own."

"But you said Lady Mary asked you to retrieve the summer clothing from the attics the other day so Anna wouldn't have to."

"It's not as if Anna wasn't working," Mrs. Baxter quickly corrected him. "She helped me with some mending and I retrieved the clothing. We help each other where we can."

John smiled to himself. His mind put at ease if only momentarily. That sounded like the Anna he knew.

"If you say so," the older man replied. He returned his focus to the newspaper in his hands.

"Why this sudden interest in Mrs. Bates?" she asked with a teasing smile.

"I'm not," he answered somewhat defensively. "Well...not like that anyway," Mr. Molesley blushed and smiled at Mrs. Baxter. He clearly only had eyes for her.

John smirked to himself and his eyes rolled. He wondered if this is what it had been like from the outside looking in during those early days when he had yet to profess his love for Anna.

"In what way then?" Mrs. Baxter asked.

John held his breath and his ears perked up. This would be Mr. Molesley's opportunity to correct her and say that he only had eyes for Mrs. Baxter. The poor, bumbling footman would probably blow his chance once more, but John was hopeful. His voice lowered and John almost had to ease the rocking chair back as far as it would go to hear Mr Molesley's response.

"Well, it's just that I ran into her in the hallway earlier, after our conversation by the stairwell. Anna looked like she had trouble catching her breath and clenched at her stomach, or so it seemed," Mr. Molesley answered back.

"Was she alright?" Mrs. Baxter asked with concern in a hushed voice.

"I suppose so. She said something about 'carry on' like they say in the Navy," Mr. Molesley said.

The gears were now turning in John's head. More than turning. The moment Mr. Molesley mentioned that she looked like she was clenching her stomach his mind had already put most of the pieces together. She didn't make the trip to the attics. She didn't carry the trunks down to the car with him. She had been eating more. Although he had chalked that up to the fact that with Sergeant Willis's revelation that they were in the clear she was finally returning back to her old eating habits. He couldn't help but notice she had been gaining some weight around the middle, but she had been so frail after her return from prison he had thought nothing of it. She was practically glowing since her last trip to London, and while they were often pressed for time they had returned to their lovemaking with the fervor of their days as newlyweds. Could it be that she was with child? He dare not hope too much, especially if she had gone to London for the reason he suspected. He prayed he was wrong in that assumption. John couldn't bare to think of her losing another baby; especially on her own. Not when things were finally looking up for them. She had looked so full of light earlier when Gwen had stopped by for a visit. John recalled the way Anna seemed to be bubbling over with joy as she asked their former coworker to tell them everything about her children.

He had been taken aback by the inquiry given the conversations they had shared over the previous weeks. He had chided himself for not realizing sooner, there had been signs when he thought her cycle should have come or she had rebuffed his advances in the bedroom, which had seemed odd when she had been so insistent on starting a family. Now he knew why. Two...possibly three children lost. His heart ached for her and for the children that never were. He wanted so badly to take away that pain. To give her the child she so desperately deserved. The suggestion of adoption had come up more than once, but she rejected the idea. Told him it wouldn't do. How could he make her see that she was all he ever wanted. That her happiness was his happiness. If the only way they could achieve their dream was to bring someone else's child into their home he would have gladly done it. He would loved that child with all his heart. He wouldn't deny he wanted a child of their own, but it wasn't a matter of male pride or carrying on the family bloodline like it was for their employers. For him it was a matter of wanting a child that was a smaller version of his gorgeous wife. Yet with each passing month it seemed it was not meant to be for them.

John closed the book with a thud and made his way upstairs to his Lordship's room. He needed somewhere to think in private. He was getting carried away, this could just be a misunderstanding or coincidence. The urge to speak to Mr. Molesely had to be tempered, he knew if he spoke to the older gentleman it would only serve to confirm Anna's condition and he wouldn't have her return from London to that. It was bad enough she had to carry the title of the wife of a murderer, a victim, and then a murderer herself. Sometimes evidence could only clear one's name, but not erase the memories for those that would pass judgement on them. He wouldn't let her be the subject of ridicule for being unable to bare his child.

A little while later…

As John hung up Lord Grantham's clothing his thoughts drifted to Anna, as they so often did. She looked gorgeous yesterday morning, just as she had every morning that he woke up next to her. But there was something different about her. A glow that he had first noticed at the Carsons wedding. There was more color to her cheeks, her hair shined brighter, and her eyes were filled with mirth. She had a spring in her step since she last returned from London with Lady Mary. The few days away from Downton seemed to have done her good and since then they had begun to look at properties in the area. An attempt to revive an old dream. One that hadn't been completely smothered out by the darkness that had surrounded them for so long. Instead she had left looking mournful...hadn't even turned back to to look at him as the car pulled away last night. Would she return to him with as she had the last time?

They had spent so much time apart, that even a little time away from one another was cause for worry. He'd never admit that to her, but sometimes when she went to London he'd have horrible nightmares that she was taken away from him by the police or that a dark figure was following her around, waiting to prey on her. Then there were the nightmares that she never moved back in with him from the cottage in an effort to stop him from finding out about her 'shame' as she had once called it. Those nights were the longest nights. Sometimes worse than when he was in prison. At least when he was in prison she would smile on occasion. But when she had gone, she never did. Not until their reunion at Christmas when they had snuck off to somewhere quiet, her body pressed against his, her tiny frame hoisted above his as she wrapped her arms around him. Their bodies fell into alignment and John thought it would take an army to ever remove her from his side again. They managed to pry themselves away from one another long enough for her to ask him if he was truly home for good and he replied 'truly'. It was the first spark of the old Anna he had seen in a long time.

A smirk graced his face as he thought of her and faded when he considered what might be happening to his Anna right now. What might have already happened.

"Bates, my good fellow," Robert greeted warmly as he came into the dressing room. "How are you this evening?"

John allowed his eyes to lift momentarily and faked a smile for his employer. "Well enough m'Lord."

"I suppose you are looking down in the mouth because Anna is away with Lady Mary, but they'll be back soon," Lord Grantham assured.

John only wished that were true. "I hope so m'Lord." He hadn't slept at all last night and he gathered tonight would be much the same. He allowed his eyes to close momentarily and shook off the idea of sleep, even though his body swayed slightly on his good leg.

"If it makes you feel any better, Lady Mary said that her trip went well. She just needed a few days of rest and will be back on Friday. I'm sure it will be a nice little vacation for Anna," Lord Grantham commented.

"I'm sure it will," John answered back. He hoped that was the case. John began to help Lord Grantham out of his evening clothes, his hands moving on their own accord, performing what had become as routine as breathing.

"You know, Bates. If you want, you could stay in your old room tonight. Save yourself the long walk back to the cottage." His injury was a subject that Lord Grantham would seldom tread on, so John forgave him for doing so lightly.

"You'll have to forgive me for declining the offer. I don't think that would do any good my Lord. It doesn't quite feel the same as sleeping in my own bed."

The two men shared a knowing look with one another.

"I do believe I understand your meaning. Have a good evening, Bates."

"Same to you m'Lord."

"And Bates…"

"Yes, m'Lord."

This time John's eyes shot up to meet his employer's when he heard a loud hiss escape Lord Grantham's mouth. The older man appeared to be pressing on his side with his hand as he bit down on his lower lip.

"Are you alright, m'Lord?" The older man waved him off, but still appeared to be waiting for the pain to abate. "Shall I call Dr. Clarkson?"

"No. I just can't consume port anymore."

John appeared skeptical, but let Lord Grantham have his way. "Very good."

Lord Grantham let the pain pass through his lips with a woosh. "Bates...don't feel the urge to hurry in tomorrow morning. I'm rather knackered from my ride earlier."

"Thank you, m'Lord."

Their time apart was torture, but he made good use of it. John resolved that when Anna returned he would do whatever was necessary to assure her happiness. He had tidied up the cottage, put away the laundry, and stopped in the village to get some of her favorite biscuits and soaps. He made it a point to ask Lord Grantham for he and Anna to take some time off when the Carsons had returned and settled back into their work schedule. It would give them the opportunity to find some more properties and for Anna to put her feet up. Silently he prepared himself for the worst, if she returned broken once more he would love her more fiercely and would have to stave off asking any questions until they were at home where they could speak in private.

John sat at the table in the servant's hall and read through the list of advertisements for hotels for sale in the area, his eyes avoiding the clock. Anna had left on Tuesday and was due to come back today, or so he was told. He didn't know if he could endure another night with little sleep. Thomas's voice broke through the silence that had become customary now as the amount of staff overseeing the house had dwindled. "Mr. Molesley, Mr. Branson just informed me the car has arrived at the station. They'll be here shortly. You are to help with the bags."

The footman set his book on the mantle and began to head to the front entrance.

"Mrs. Baxter, you are to turn down Lady Mary's bed in case she requires a nap and make sure the room is tidy."

The lady's maid nodded her head in acknowledgement and followed in Mr. Molesley's wake to head upstairs.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" John asked.

"No, Mr. Bates. Your help won't be required."

John let his head droop solemnly. Holding his breath, he anxiously awaited his wife's return.

He had waited just outside of the servant's entrance to the main hall, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. But he couldn't see her clearly. The moment Lady Mary stepped through the door Lord and Lady Grantham had ascended upon her like vultures, they were expecting some explanation for her sudden trip to the hospital. She waved off their concerns and insisted she was fine. But John's concern did not lie with Lady Mary. His eyes were trained on his wife looking for some indication of the outcome of their trip. Anna began to help Lady Mary out of her coat, but instead the younger woman completed the task herself and simply handed the coat to Anna.

"Anna, you can head upstairs now. Mr. Molesley will bring the luggage up. I'd like to tidy up a bit before the Carsons arrive."

"Very good, m'Lady," Anna said. The corner of her lip quirked slightly as if the inklings of a smile lingered there somewhere, but her mood was unreadable.

"Barrow," Lady Mary addressed the under butler. "See that my afternoon tea is brought upstairs."

"Of course, m'Lady."

John's eyes followed Anna, she did appear to be in better condition than when she left. Although she still looked exhausted. He wanted so badly to rush to her side and simply hold her, but if this life had taught him anything it was that such things must wait. Too bad patience was never his strong suit.

He tried to take an interest and keep his mind occupied with helping the servant's decorate the hall. As Andy put the finishing touches on one of the wall ornaments he saw her out of the corner of his eye coming down the stairs. He made one last comment to the younger footman and wasted no time in heading towards her to be at her side. Anna scooted past Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Baxter, her eyes not registering his presence yet. She seemed quite taken with the decorations in the servants hall and lost in thought as she beamed proudly. She turned to look at him just as his hand came to rest on her upper back as if she had been expecting him to appear in that moment. And she would have been right, he thought to himself. A subtle smile was etched on her face. He wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Are you finished?" he asked softly. It wasn't the question he really wanted to ask, but this wasn't the time or the place.

Anna's eyes were still fixated on the way the servants hall had been transformed. She walked slowly to match his pace. Their elbows grazing past one another with every step. "I've unpacked, and then none of them are changing so they can come back and say hello."

He walked beside her leisurely, choosing his next words carefully. "And the trip went well?" He hoped she caught his meaning. What he was really asking was was she well. Let her put him out of his misery. He had been sick with worry for the last two days.

"I think so, yes. Why?" The tone of her voice had risen slightly with an air of mischief about it. She slowly turned to face him and smiled up at him gently.

Bates checked over his shoulder to make sure no prying ears were nearby. He lowered his voice, "Because I believe I know what you are hiding." He tilted his head so that her eyes met his. He cast off a reassuring smile hoping that he didn't sound like he was coming down on her.

Her face grew serious.

"And I feel sure I know what it is that took you to London in a rush. And I hope I'm wrong."

Anna looked at him with sympathy. She could only imagine how much brooding he had been doing in her absence. He must have been so worried. Though this wasn't how she had imagined telling him, she couldn't put it off any longer. Not only because she wanted to put his mind at ease, but also because she was full to bursting with joy, and she didn't think she could keep this secret to herself much longer. Her features softened and her eyes somehow became lighter as she stared up at him lovingly. "You're not wrong in all of it. But you're wrong if you think I'm hiding something sad."

He wasn't sure what to make of her statement, but he stood staring at her silently waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"What I've been hiding is very, very happy."

His stoic features crumbled instantly as his face broke into a smile. His eyebrows raised with excitement and his eyes instantly filled with happy tears. "Oh god!" His voice was filled with emotion, and a nervous chuckle managed to escape between words.

She smiled wider than he could ever recall.

He wanted nothing more than to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her fully. To worship her and her body as only she deserved. John had to remind himself of their current situation and where they were. "Are you sure?" he asked. He was trying to tame his excitement, but was failing miserably.

She nodded her head in silent agreement. Their hands had found each other and were clasped so tightly. Her husband brought them up towards his heart. His eyes locked onto hers. She had never looked more beautiful to him than she had in that moment. Surely he must be dreaming he thought to himself. "Really?" he asked softly. His voice was wavering, he was sure he was choking on tears.

"Really," she confirmed.

They shared an easy smile. Their celebration would have to wait until later.

"They're here," Mrs. Patmore called out as she entered the servants hall.

John reluctantly began to let go of her hand, but she gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze, indicating their conversation was not over.

If one were to ask him what all took place for the rest of that afternoon in the servants hall he could not have recalled. For John Bates was completely besotted and in awe of his wife. One thing he could not deny, he was sure anyone else would have thought him soft in the head with the way he was smiling at her. Three words came to mind. She was marvelous.