Smile, Sima Yi
(one shot)
It was an awful rainy day. Sima Yi paced through the courtyard and into the palace,trying to avoid the puddles.
"Ouch!"his best boots got wet,"Damn it!"
The idea of appearing on the council in wet boots was a kind of terrible.
"That arrogant fool Zhuge Liang... What in Luo Yang will he think of me..."
The council was boring. Many officers yawned looking at their rulers trying to discuss the questions of war and peace.
"Peace is good both for us and for the commoners... I mean,people..."
Sima Yi smirked. Liu Bei was sure a benevolent ruler,if he considered people only commoners. "Yay,I'm a god..."
Zhuge Liang was about to frown but he looked at Sima Yi's boots with a slight smile on his face instead.
It was horrible.
Even for a god.
"Let Cao Cao speak for now..."Sun Quan suggested.
"Wow,I missed the entire Wu speech,"Sima Yi yawned,"It's not a problem,though. Sun Quan never says anything clever enough for such a talented man as me to listen to."
He looked at Lu Xun peacefully sleeping in his armchair.
Cao Cao rose from his chair and said that Sima Yi will speak for the entire Wei Kingdom.
Sima Yi hardly managed not to spit right on the palace floor.
He spoke of the importance of overthrowing Yuan Shu. One time he forgot the words and stuttered,trying his best not to look at Zhuge Liang. The Shuist showed no emotion,except for,maybe a little sly smile in his eyes. Sima Yi clenched his hands. The speech was ruined.
"Oh,um...I see what the Wei position is!"Liu Bei coughed.
"Guess this long-eared nerd can be useful after all..."Sima Yi thought,walking back to his place,as red as the Wu banner.
"The Wei strategist,"Zhuge Liang said loudly,so that Sima Yi could hear,"Ruined the whole speech. I wonder why Cao Cao picked such a jerk to be his strategist! By the way,he has a fissure between his front teeth!"
The Wei strategist clenched his hands so hard that his knuckles turned white. He rushed through the crowd of officers with hate in his eyes.
"Don't worry,master Sima Yi,"Zhang He tried to comfort him,as the carriage started to go forward,"We will take you to Hua Tuo,so that he can cure you..."
"CURE ME?"Sima Yi yelled,"I don't need to! The one who needs to is Zhuge Liang!"
"But,lord Sima Yi..."Zhang He mumbled,"Your fissure?.."
"Aaaargh!"the strategist nearly cried,"Shut up! I don't have it! I don't!"
Everyone kept silent. Only Xiahou Dun allowed himself to chuckle,being stopped by Sima Yi's hateful glare.
Sima Yi locked himself in his chamber. Quietly he approached the mirror.
"Oh my badness!"he whispered,"Maybe it was a good idea to take me to Hua Tuo..."
No. Never would he tell anybody.
Sima Yi heard some strange sounds behind his back.
"Ah?"
He turned over and saw Cao Cao, Zhen Ji, Xiahou Dun, Xu Huang and Zhang He standing near him.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM,BASTARDS?"Sima yelled.
The Weions smiled.
"Stop it,Sima Yi,"Zhen Ji said softly.
"We like you,"Zhang He continued.
"We just wanna help!"Xu Huang explained.
Xiahou Dun took Sima i's hand and Cao Cao hugged him.
"Oh...Really?"Sima Yi was amazed. Wei was considered the most "evil" Kingdom,and the Weions were cruel...
Or were they?..
Sima Yi was sitting in a carriage with the fellow Weions Cao Cao,Zhang He and Zhen Ji.
"I called Hua Tuo yesterday,"Cao Cao said,"He told me we can come today. He will consult you,see?"
They entered a big shady room. It had a medical smell all over it. Zhang He quickly took Sima Yi's hand. He seemed to be afraid of darkness. Or maybe of doctors?..
An old man lit the candles. The room quickly turned into a light one.
"I'm Hua Tuo,"he said,"Please leave the patient to me. You can wait outdoors."
The officers left.
"Poor lord Sima Yi...'Zhang He sobbed,as he imagined the old man killing him with the big scissors,or a scalpel,or making him anti-flu injections.
Twenty minutes have elapsed since the strategist entered the dark room. The Weions were starting to think Sima Yi will never return.
"He had possibly taken Yi as a rabbit to carry experiments out on,"Cao Cao sounded worried.
Zhen Ji closed her eyes and trembled.
But here he was. Sima Yi closed the door quietly and entered the yard. The sun was shining brightly,and the officers could see the sweat drops on his pale forehead.
"I..."Sima Yi gulped,"He said I will have to...wear braces..."
Zhang He fainted while trying to imagine his witty friend wearing braces. Zhen Ji chuckled. Only Cao Cao seemed to be thinking of something.
"Um...Sima Yi? How shall you speak during councils?.."
Sima Yi seemed so desperate and distressed,that Cao Cao understood asking this question would hurt his force's only strategist even more.
"Oh,though...It's okay."
But Sima didn't seem relieved.
Two days passed.
The phone suddenly rang in Cao Cao's cabinet.
"Cao Cao speaking. Hallo? What's up?"
"It's Hua Tuo. Will you bring your patient this year? You're two hours late already!"the voice sounded angry.
"Late for WHAT?"Cao Cao wondered.
"For the operation,Weions! Your precious Sima Yi needs an operation!"Hua Tuo was furious.
"Uh...We're coming,doctor!"Cao Mengde answered as he jumped up from his armchair.
He ran into Sima Yi's room with a face like he was going to slaughter everyone like pigs.
"ZHONGDA!"he roared,"You wretched bastard! Why didn't you tell me about the operation?"
"Because..."Sima Yi sighed,as he looked upon Cao Cao with tears in his eyes,"I was afraid! And you would be afraid! Anybody would! This old man... He has trembling hands! And he wants to cut my lip!"
But the Wei ruler didn't listen. Instead,he pulled Sima Yi into a carriage and drove him to the clinic. As fast,as he could.
The road was terrible. The carriage jumped up and down,making the ruler and the strategist do so too. Cao Cao was frowning. He was really disappointed,for he didn't expect his strategist to be such a coward.
And Sima Yi himself was too much ashamed to speak.
They arrived,at last. Hua Tuo already had another patient,so the Weions had to wait for two more hours. Two more hours of terrible silence.
The patient slowly opened the door. The Weions weren't even looking at him,and that's why they didn't understand what made him run out of the clinic into the yard so quickly. The only thing Sima Yi noticed was a green belt the patient was wearing.
Cao Cao kept silent even when the old doctor came to take his strategist into the cabinet. The thing he heard last before the door closed was Sima Yi's sorry voice,"C-can you hold my hand?.."
He probably couldn't.
Sima Yi lay in the dentist's armchair.
"I will use laser technology,"Hua Tuo said,"This is not even a bit painful."
"Cutting lips using laser is not painful. At all. It is even pleasant,"Sima Yi tried to convince himself. But he failed.
He gripped the chair hardly with his hands,breaking the long fingernails,feeling the all-consuming fear all over his body.
The old man put some pink medicine on the inner side of his lip.
"Does your lip feel chilly?"
The strategist thought for a while.
"N-no..."
Some more pink thing. The doctor took a long syringe and struck it right into Sima Yi's lip.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried not to yell.
"That's all. The next steps won't be painful,"Hua Tuo said.
"S-so it's not the end?.."Sima Yi wondered as he wiped out the tears and took some blue liquid into his mouth.
"No,my friend,it's just the beginning,"because of the white mask,the Weion couldn't see the expression on the doctor's face. This made the procedure even more frightening.
Sima Yi spit the blue liquid out.
Cao Cao was sitting on a small bench in the yard.
"We are doomed,"he thought sadly,"Shu has Yue Ying, Jiang Wei, Pang Tong AND Zhuge Liang. Wu has Lu Meng, Lu Xun and Zhou Yu. And we have a cowardly brace-wearing moron,who will someday defect anyway..."
"Perhaps not a moron."
Cao Cao could hear the horrible laser sounds.
"Perhaps not cowardly..."
He remembered Yuan Shao wearing braces as a kid,when they studied in one school and were best friends.
"Braces are not FOREVER."
Cao Cao tried to remember reading the Romance of the Three Kingdoms some time long,long ago.
"I wont even see him defect."
And suddenly the Wei ruler felt sorry for Sima Yi.
Really sorry.
It was the last step of the operation. Hua Tuo was sewing an iron rod into Sima Yi's lip.
"Wow. I can't even feel it..."the strategist wondered.
"You're free. Take those bottles and clean the mouth with the liquid inside them. So,was it painful?.."now Sima could see a soft smile on the doctor's face.
"Not at all,"Sima Yi answered quietly,staring at the floor.
"Then you mustn't have worried so much!"Hua Tuo told him.
Sima Yi felt like a five-year-old.
"Come here next week,"Hua Tuo told Cao Cao as he returned from the room with Sima Yi,"And I'll make him braces,okay?"
Cao Cao took Sima Yi's hand.
"Okay!"he said gratefully.
"He's a good boy!"the doctor laughed.
The strategist blushed as he followed his lord to the chariot.
Cao Cao felt like he was Sima Yi's daddy...
Xu Zhu entered the dining room with a huge tray of bao zi he had just cooked. Zhen Ji licked her lips.
"YAY!"Xiahou Yuan cheered,watching his friend place the tray right in the middle of the table.
Sima Yi watched his favorite food being consumed by the fellow officers sadly.
But the bao zi was not the only thing Xu Zhu brought from the kitchen.
There was also a big glass of milk and a soft,sweet bun for the arrogant strategist.
"No. Wei is definitely NOT the evil Kingdom..."Sima Yi thought,eating the tasty bun,"Definitely NOT."
Sima Yi was standing in front of the mirror,looking at his new shiny braces.
"Oh,my ba-a-adness!"he sighed,imagining Zhuge Liang laughing his ass out on the council.
He imagined many Zhuge Liangs in a row. They were dancing around him with their mouths open,laughing,with their evil green eyes glowing in the darkness of the hall.
"I don't even care what he thinks!"Sima Yi exclaimed.
"What he thinks" was the thing Sima Yi cared about most...
All the Weions looked worried. It was the council today. And it was held in their palace.
Zhang He ran down the neatly polished stairs to see "his" lord Sima Yi.
He critically looked on the strategist's black fan,his boots with their noses looking up in the air,his blue gown,his high hat.
"Lookin' cool,Master of Manipulation,"Zhang He smiled.
Sima didn't dare smile back.
'Weions are the hosts!"Liu Bei said loudly,"That's why they speak first!"
Sima Yi arose from his seat,trying to hide the blush with his fan. Yue Ying stared at him closely. Sima saw her husband pull her sleeve slightly. Yue Ying turned over in confusion.
He was beautiful. Cao Cao regretted thinking of Wei being doomed. He was proud of his force's only strategist even before his speech. Mengde smiled,remembering that moment of being Sima Yi's "daddy".
Zhongda started speaking in a clear,melodic voice,making Huang Yueying look at him with great interest once more.
At the end of the speech,Sima Yi saw Zhuge Liang's face. No sign of emotion,as usual. Only one person could read the Sleeping Dragon's mind. That was Sima Yi,who noticed angry,hateful sparks in his enemy's green eyes.
Sima Yi didn't care anymore. He turned to Zhuge Liang and smiled,revealing his braces. Kongming hesitated for a moment,but then he repaid the smile. With their braces shining in the sunlight coming fom a big window,the two sworn enemies were smiling at each other,making the audience stare at them in amazement.
They didn't care.