I have lost you.
But could I really have lost someone that was never really mine?
In days like these, cold, dark and lonely,
I'd rather believe that you never were mine.
That I never knew what it was to be warm to my very soul.
I'd much rather believe you were never a part of me.
That is preferable to having to adjust to being without you.
That makes it possible to being able to live without you.
I find no relief in the few good memories I hold of you.
In the even fewer memories of us.
Us… was gone in a blink of an eye.
Us…..never saw the light of day.
Us….. never was but in a wanting look in your eyes
Us… never came to be but in the words left unspoken in my mouth.
The tears that flow so freely from my eyes are not of joy,
Nor pain.
These are tears of want.
I want to know what could have been of us.
If my mind had not won the battle over my heart.
If I had given free reign to my passion instead of my senses.
I want to know if our flame would still be burning bright?
Or would ashes be all that was left of us soon after our roaring fire died?
I lost you before I knew I could have had you .
Before I even knew you would want me.
And that is the only thing that keeps me breathing.
Not knowing what could have been of us makes it difficult to live.
Knowing what could have been but isn't
That would make it impossible.