Title: Kate
Author:Ozluv04
Disclaimer: Kate,etc. all belong to J.J. Abrams and co. as well as ABC.
Warnings: Implied sexual abuse. Spoilers for all of season one.
A/N: A study of Kate through her alias's. some from the show, some of my on making. Much of her backstory is purely imagined on my part. My own crackpot theories derived from the shows veiled clues. All strung together to produce this fic. Enjoy! As always, feedback welcome.
Once upon a time her mother named her Katherine. But she never quite fit the name. It swallowed her whole with it's expectations. It was who she was supposed to be. It was a promise that she would grow up and be a lady. A woman. One day she would shrug of the innocence of childhood and become Katherine. That was the plan. Then childhood was ripped from her by a man she thought she could trust. And the woman who gave her the name, and her very life, looked at her with disgust. She decided she would never be Katherine.
Once upon a time she was Katie. It was a childish nickname, lovingly bestowed on her by Tom.
Of all the people she would ever be, Katie was her favorite. She was happy then. Happy to be a child, a young adult, a teenager. To fumble her way through childhood, learning and discovering. Only acknowledging the darkness when her stepfather slipped into her bedroom and wouldn't allow her to ignore it. But the rest of the time she could be Tom's Katie. He was her friend, her defender, her sanctuary. A part of her would always be Katie. Because a part of her would always be his.
Once upon a time she called herself Madeline. It was her first true alias. Something make believe. A little girl with a hat who murdered her stepfather and went on the lam. She ran far and she ran hard. Trying to drown her mother's screams, trying to regret the blood on her hands.
Once upon a time she called herself Amy. Simple, short. She thought she could find normal again. She'd make a call and Tom would come to her and he could have a new name to. They'd hop the border-Mexico, Canada whichever he preferred. She'd have her 'happily ever after' after all. But the Marshall was just behind her and the man in front of her was offering her a job.
Once upon a time she called herself Kat. She used the name when she was baiting her mouse. If the Marshall was going to be relentless, she was going to give as good as she got. She called his house, she teased him and taunted him. Toyed with him. Let him get close and then run away. She told him the gory details, embellishing for effect. Told him about every 'job', every hit. Made it sound callous like she had no regrets. Made him wonder if it would be him, or his wife, or his son next. She blamed him for Tom's death, and she wanted him to pay.
Once upon a time she called herself Maggie. And took a dishonest man for a ride. Robbing the bank in hopes she might find Katie in box 815.
Once upon a time she called herself Annie. She wasn't such a bad person to be. On a trip to Australia just passing through. Seeing the world. Eager to take a job, to work for food. Annie wasn't too bad. But then there was the Marshall and he knew she was Kate.
On the island she was Kate. A nice compromise between Katherine and Katie. Not the woman, not the child. Someone else entirely. It meant different things to different people. To Sawyer it signified a certain kinship. He knew about taking on new names. To Jack-she wasn't sure what it meant. She wasn't entirely comfortable with it yet. Being Kate, the person she had been all along, was harder than she ever imagined. Some days she longed to run, to be somebody else. To be Mary, Sarah, May. Being Kate who encompassed all her parts: Katie, Annie, Maggie, Kat was terrifying and exhilarating.
But sometimes the urge to become someone else was too hard to resist. On those days she collected passports and thought about the people she might become one day when she had somewhere to run.