I wrote this a while ago, after I watched The Voyage Home and I was trying to sort of figure out what was going on with Spock in it so I wrote all these little things. This is the first one, it's across between a song and a poem. And... it's about Spock and Kirk. I wanted to put McCoy in the story somewhere, but he wouldn't write himself. He never does. Anyway... well.

You
Are the first person I remember when I awake
They say that I was dead
But I don't remember it
My mind is a blank, clean slate.

They have explained little
They say that they will teach me all they can
Until my memory comes back

But I don't know who I am
But I don't know who I was
But I don't recognize my name
Or these people all around me

They stare at me, some of them
As if waiting

But I don't know what to give
But I don't know anything
But I don't know where I am
But I don't know who I am

There is silence in the air
there is such solemnity

I don't want any of it
I just don't know what else to do

And then I am ushered past
and you are different
all standing in a line
looking at me with open eyes and open minds

But I cannot speak your language
and my mind can't understand
and my tongue is silenced
all I can do is stand

And then I make my first decision
in this new life
and I turn around
and they let me, because they know I don't know anything
because they know
I don't know it's not what they wanted
because they know
I don't know it's not proper
it's not right

And because, I think,
because of who I am

Because of who I was.

But I am not stupid
already I can tell things
from the way the people stand
from there eyes
from their minds
from their hands

And you are different
all standing in a line
and you are bright and fearless
and you have chosen to turn around, all of you, like me.

And they say you did it all for me.

And somehow, I know You will be there.
I didn't even know I was searching for You
until I looked at every face
and felt everybody's mind
and there was something I needed
but I didn't know what

Until I saw You
standing there
at the end
of the line
and your eyes
shone bright
and you looked at me with hope
and I knew
it was You
and when I said nothing
I saw the hope slowly fading from your eyes

And that was my first brush with tragedy
because I couldn't let you down
And so I needed to speak
so you would understand

Because they said
that you can't speak with minds
like we do
and I don't know of any 'we'
because it's not them I feel close to

And then it comes
a language
different from the ones They spoke
but I cannot understand it
but that doesn't matter
because I know You will.

'my father says that you are my friend.'

And my tongue is freed
and I speak
and you answer
so you speak again
and I answer
and then you say something new
and it has meaning
as the others didn't
meanings I don't understand.
'Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.'

You ask me 'don't you remember?'
and I look into your mind
and find the question
and then I have to answer.

And then a thought comes into my mind
and it is strange and exhilarating
because this is a word I once knew.
And I say it.

"Jim. You're name, is Jim."

And you smile
and then I have my first brush with happiness
because your happiness
infects me,
and I seem to float
on air.

.

.

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