So there I was. Just trying to make heads or tails of this situation, shoving a corpse into the back of Perry's car when he panics. Or t least what I figure is as close to panic as Perry can get. He sees a cop car and his first instinct isn't to like... Pretend he's fucking talking to me or something but fucking kiss me. Which. As nice as the sentiment is, I'm flattered, really I fucking am, I don't want a guy kissing me!

Perry's lips collided with Harry's in a sudden kiss and Harry tried his best to avoid, but when he caught sight of the police car out of his peripheral vision he couldn't stop him. He knew that Perry was giving them a good cover, something that was sure to deter the cops from coming over to inspect their vehicle which was hiding a corpse from sight at the moment. However, somewhere between when their lips met and when Perry's fingers stroked over his cheek and his tongue invaded Harry's mouth, he didn't want to struggle anymore. For a split second he kissed back, his body shivering a little as he found himself... Excited. And so as soon as the car pulled away Harry shoved Perry away, spitting, trying to get that horrifyingly wonderful taste out of his mouth. He wasn't supposed to have enjoyed that. It just wasn't right... Right?

No matter which way Harry tried to think it out as he complained and tried to wipe the tingling sensation off his lips, he couldn't seem to work out a good reason for him to have enjoyed that kiss. So he went into denial. It was like a horrific dream... Once the body was in the car, and Harmony convinced of what Harry wanted her to be convinced of the drive began. The drive to dump the body. Much as Harry would have liked that drive to be peaceful, it just wasn't. He could feel the tension in the air. Tension always provoked stupidity from Harry. Which of course, seemed to just ooze off of him around Perry. More so than normal. Stupid questions spilled from his lips, stupider statements, and no matter what was said, Harry was always wrong.

Much as he hated that, he let it go. He could see such a strange emotion in the Private Detective's eyes when he criticized him. It was as if he cared, but then again, no. He couldn't...

Dumping the body of that poor fucking girl was the hardest thing I've ever had to do... Well almost. There have been harder things since then but you get the fucking picture... Perry seemed so stony and unfazed by it that I wanted to.... Well... To fucking smack him. How could someone be so insensitive to that poor girl's condition. Sure she was fucking dead and couldn't feel us leaving her on the goddamn side walk but there's a level of respect that was just not shown! But try explaining feelings to Perry just once and you'd see immediately he has none. He's a black fucking hole. I thought gay men were supposed to be lovers not... Assholes.

The silence between them was broken by a soft hiccup from Harry as he tried to hold in some unseen emotion. Perry's grip on the steering wheel tightened. He could sense Harry's remorse. It hung like a black cloud in the small space of the car. He cleared his throat.

"Harry. She's gonna get the proper burial she deserves very soon." Perry said. This was his sad and very dry attempt at comfort. There was a long pause that went unbroken between them until Perry turned his car rather sharply into an abandoned alley way. Harry was startled and looked over at Perry.

"What the fuck man? Why are you pulling into a fucking alley?" Harry asked sharply, glaring at the detective. Perry undid his seat belt and leaned over, planting another kiss on Harry. This time, Harry hardly reacted. He seemed stunned. Perry pulled back and sighed as he leaned back against the seat. His throat tightened uncomfortably.

"Sorry." Perry stated quietly. "I... I'm trying to comfort you. You're such a fucking pussy being all shook up and..."

Perry trailed off when he saw the confused and mortified expression on Harry's face. He covered his eyes with his hands as if it could hide his shame from the stupid New Yorker.

"It's the only way you know how, isn't it... Sex. It's the only way a callous asshole like you can fucking comfort a person." Harry said in a quiet monotone. Perry felt his shoulders rise and tense defensively.

If Perry thought he could "comfort" me in a back fucking alley in his fucking car he was sadly mistaken.

"You've gone about this all wrong but I appreciate the shitty ass gesture." Harry seethed quietly. Perry put his hand down and turned a glare on the other man.

"Fuck you Lockhart. I'm trying to be nice here!" Perry snapped. Harry frowned deeply.

"You know what. If you wanna be nice, at least take me back to your place if you're gonna fuck me!" Harry countered, having felt smart as he was speaking the sentence. However, as soon as his own words had sunk in, he was mortified for the second time that evening.

Harry could feel the moments, achingly slow as they passed. It just was so uncomfortable. Finally Perry spoke up.

"How about your place...." he stated more than asked. Harry looked at him incredulously.

"What?" he asked in a flat tone.

This was crazy. This was FUCKING crazy... I mean fuck! Was I seriously about to take a guy back to my hotel room and fuck him? When the fuck did that become okay? Fuck!

With an uneasy swallow, just to see if he could actually do this, Harry leaned over, reaching up and with his eyes shut tight, he pulled Perry into a kiss. He sealed the deal. So Perry started the car back up and headed out. The tension seemed to rise with each passing moment as they drove. Perry was unsure that this would turn out how one would normally expect it to. Considering the fact that A.) Harry was obviously hung up on his High school crush, Harmony and B.) He was by no means gay, just probably very emotional and confused right now; things were not likely to go anywhere at all. He expected to walk Harry up to his room, go in for one more kiss, and Harry would say something like 'No wait. This is a bad idea.' or 'Wait I can't do this.' and Perry would simply walk away.

But why did this bother him? Perry was too smart to pine for the straight man you can't have. Let alone pine for an idiot like Harry. He glance over at the other man. He was a mess just to look at. His hair so... tousled and his clothes just so... Relaxed and uncaring... Perry's eyes traveled down, however, to Harry's boots and he furrowed his brows a bit.

They were nice. Expensive. And very... Feminine. They had to be at least mid calf height under those pants, and they had a slight heal to them. Perry looked away. Now that didn't make much sense to him. Why would a slob like Harry have... Nice boots? Harry was oblivious to Perry's inspection of him. His eyes were focused out the window. He couldn't help but want to look away. He couldn't bring himself to believe that he was about to take a gay man up to his hotel room.

Sure it was a shitty idea. I am... totally... totally fucking aware. But I dunno. I guess being lonely, shot down, and stupid makes you make crazy decisions. Maybe I kinda wanted him to come up to the room with me. Maybe I was repressed or fucking bisexual. You don't know me. So shut the fuck up and pay attention.

The elevator seemed to amplify the tension as they both stepped onto it. It wasn't like some cheesy romantic movie where suddenly the magical elevator spell over took them and they made out in a heated frenzy. No. They were quiet. Still as stone...

When the doors opened up Harry stepped out first, pulling out his key and heading towards the door. Perry deliberately walked behind Harry just to... Well shamefully check out the other man's rear end. Which he was rather unpleasantly, not disappointed when he saw the firm, supple cheeks lightly framed by Harry's jeans. It seemed it only got worse too, Harry's fingers had been so shaky he'd dropped his key and so he bent over to pick it up. Perry lifted his knuckle to his mouth and bit down, turning his head away from the sight. He mouthed the word "FUCK" silently. Now he was really losing his mind. He couldn't be attracted to Harry. He just couldn't. Harry slid the key through the reader and opened the door just an inch before Perry stopped him at the door, pulling him into another kiss, which caught Harry off guard. Perry had to scare Harry away before he lost control of his ever present cool. Straight and slobby or not, Perry found he wanted Harry and he couldn't stand for that.

The sudden kiss caught Harry off guard and he kissed rather weakly back for a moment or two before he got with the program. Perry saw his plan backfiring. The passionate kiss was not enough to make Harry realize he didn't want this... So Perry lifted his hand and rubbed it sensuously against Harry's crotch. Harry gasped a little and his first instinct was to push Perry away. However, months of no contact to his manhood other than his own hand was clouding his judgment. So he didn't push him away, he pressed forward a little.

Yeah. I was pushing towards his hand like a fucking bitch in heat. It was humiliating. But fuck if I was horny why not? I mean. You'd do the same thing. Or maybe you wouldn't but this isn't your fucking story is it? Perry's got skilled hands. Almost as skilled as mine. I'm a magician yanno. I could probably turn a few heads with my own set of tricks... Shut up. I know I'm not sounding clever. I'm fucking horny.

"Wait..." Harry rasped, breaking from Perry's kiss and turning his head away. Perry sighed softly in relief, his hand ceasing it rubbing motion and pulling away. He ran his fingers through his hair, and straightened his shirt a bit, waiting for Harry to turn him away. Harry turned and pushed his hotel room door open.

"Maybe we should go inside or something and not have like... A gay fest in the hallway where you know. Anyone could see or something." Harry rambled off as he pointed towards the inside of the hotel. It was at that moment that Perry had to stop himself from doing something he'd very terribly regret not the next day, but immediately after doing. He stepped inside the hotel, grabbing Harry by his shoulders and guiding him forward into the hotel room.

"You're an idiot Harry. A goddamn certifiable retard. You. A straight man. Invited me. A gay man. To come here. And do what? You're not attracted to me. You're confused, and stupid. And I'm not taking you on as even more of a liability than you already are." Perry said firmly, pushing Harry onto the bed. Harry sat up a little and swung his legs over the side of the bed and looked up at Perry who knelt down and slipped off Harry's boots, then belt, and then jacket, before pushing him to lie down and covering him up.

"It was my mistake to even let this happen..." Perry said finally. Harry frowned up at him.

"I thought you wanted to comfort me?" Harry said quietly. Perry knelt beside Harry's bed, flicking off the light.

"I did. And then I realized why should I? You're a big boy. You can handle it..." Perry said calmly. "Now go to sleep fuckstick."

The insult was without venom, and Harry could tell there was something wrong with Perry. He just wasn't sure what... He furrowed his brows.

"But the point is... That you did... You wanted to help me..." Harry said. Perry stood up.

"Shut the fuck up." Perry snapped. Harry sat up.

"Stay the fuck here." he countered. Perry looked back at him and his lips pulled down into a frown.

"What do you want from me?" Perry's gaze was intense and harsh. Harry swallowed uneasily.

"I really don't know yet." he responded quietly. Perry stood there a moment longer before turning away from him.

"Well don't bother calling me when you actually figure it out..." he said as coldly as he could manage at that moment.

So Perry left. And I'm wondering if somewhere between the stress, the booze the excitement, and the smell of dead bodies and lake water I really did just lose temporary sanity. And if I did. Did that mean Perry was off his fucking rocker too...? I was confused. That much about me he'd gotten right. But I wasn't confused about what I wanted now. I was just confused as to why I should fucking want it.

Maybe I was trying to fill that loveless void in my heart with the nearest thing I could since clearly, Harmony was too busy being well... Harmony... To ever see me as anything more... That the friend. The shoulder to cry on. The "private detective"...

Harmony made me feel used. So what's a guy to do...? What the fuck am I supposed to do...?


To Be Continued...