Chapter 1: Preface
January 31, 2009 - Seattle
EPOV
I had known Bella for about 3 months now. And though I had seen her laugh and even kick back and have fun with my siblings, Alice and Emmett, she never seemed to let her guard completely down. Staring into her deep, chocolate, brown eyes, I could always see the pain that seemed to haunt her soul, the sadness that was buried in them. Looking into those dark pools of depth I often found myself wondering about the kind of trauma one has to go through, for it to be burned into your soul they way her past was surely burned into hers.
I had tried to talk to her a couple of times, but she always seemed so nervous when it was just the two of us. She seemed much more comfortable around Emmett. Most people were intimidated by Emmett upon first meeting him, but I happened to be present the first time they met and had the immense pleasure of watching her first reaction to my lovable bear of a brother.
:::Flashback:::
Finally! I thought. We finally graduated! What a waste of four years! I hated high school and college really wasn't that much better. My parents had encouraged me to do what I desired with my life, but I was raised knowing that a degree from college was expected. Now that I finally had that finished, I could concentrate on what I really wanted to do. Compose. I'd played the piano most of my life, taking to it, like a duck takes to water, my mother had told me many times. I'd been composing my own music for several years now. Though, most of that, especially recently, was for ad campaigns.
But there would be no work for now. For the rest of this month, I was free to do as I pleased. And I was going to be doing a lot of camping with my younger brother, Emmett. Dad had mentioned his desire to accompany us for some of the trips and Jasper wanted to go as well. Even Mom and Alice said they wanted to go at least once. And that's why Emmett and I were headed to Newton's Outfitters; to restock our somewhat depleted camping gear.
Bella was there to get directions.
I was standing to the side, attempting to ignore an overly eager Mike Newton and his unsolicited opinion of the best camping areas as he rang up our many purchases. I turned away from his exaggerated grin just in time to see her enter the store. She was wearing sweats and a tank top, with flannel shirt tied around her petite waist. It didn't seem as out of place in an outfitter's store as it might have in any other place. Her wide, expressive, brown eyes met mine for just a moment before she turned away quickly. I was surprised by the depth I'd seen in them as well as the small blush that crept up her face. As she looked back toward Emmett, a look of determination came over her face.
"Excuse me," her soft voice tried to interrupt and Mike immediately stopped what he was doing to smile and gawk at her. Emmett was in a hurry to be free of Mike, as was I, and didn't want anything to slow down the process of our check-out, which had already taken far too long. Without even glancing in her direction, he commented about her waiting her turn.
A lone strand of her hair escaped the loose pony tail at the back of her head and fell across her face as she huffed at Emmett's premature dismissal. She looked exhausted and her eyes though intent and a bit angry, were remarkably sad for a girl her age. I guessed she was fresh out of high school. I wondered briefly, if someone had followed Ben's lead and met another high school girl online and talked her into coming to the dreary Forks.
After she politely and calmly reminded him that ladies should be first, he finally turned to argue, but upon meeting her eyes, he seemed to lose his ferocity and stuttered to find a reply. She seized the chance to infer that he didn't know what ladies were. I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing at her quick retort though I think she could tell how humorous I thought the situation was. Mike immediately started guffawing at her quick wit and it was all I could do to keep from joining him. She told Mike what street she was looking for, of course, B St, which also happens to be Bogachiel Way, except the sign for the latter was taken down by some seniors last year as a joke and had still not been replaced. Judging from Mike's response, she was not the first person since the incident to be confused. Before Mike could fully explain the situation, Emmett regained his voice and offered sweetly to show her himself, probably attempting to make up for his earlier shortness. Her instantaneous and somewhat haughty reply seemed to shock my brother, even more than me and she quickly insisted Mike continue. As she turned to go, Emmett made a last attempt, this time more suggestively, but she shut him down again and quickly left. I was disappointed when I realized her flannel blocked the view of her ass. Even as haggard and tired as she appeared, she was still quite lovely. I watched her climb back into her rusty old truck and wondered how far she'd managed to come in that hideous thing and marveled once more at my earlier theory of her presence. Poor Emmett, he didn't have a clue what happened.
"Like I don't know what Ladies are." He mumbled after we reached the safety of his jeep, a frustrating twenty minutes later. I was surprised to learn he was still thinking about it.
"Esme will be disappointed." I teased him, shaking my head as I climbed in, tossing in the last of the stuff I'd carried. He threw a sleeping bag at me, which I caught and tossed into the back. He pouted all the way home.
:::End Flashback:::
I remember when she first shared the little information of her family. I was shocked speechless. Her father, Charlie, had molested her and her sister, Angela. Her mother, Renee had apparently turned the other cheek and basically denied the whole thing. One day, shortly after she graduated from high school, she had confronted Bella once and attempted to blame the entire thing on her. Bella had actually stood up to her. She admitted to us, that it was one of the few times that she outright called her mother on the lies Renee so desperately clung to. She'd told us that Renee had left the room crying and that Bella had actually thought things might improve. But the next time she talked to her, Renee had adamantly stood by Charlie, mostly making excuses. That was basically the last time she had spoken to either of them. She had never looked back. She had attempted to seem proud of that sentence, I got the impression she said it a lot. Though I couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to convince us or herself. Angela seemed to have a better relationship with them, which in itself mystified Bella. Angela was happily married to Ben, whom she had met online, during her last year of high school.
She had quickly gone on to talk about happier thoughts involving her sister and Ben, whom Bella had only met twice, before moving here, but liked nonetheless. "He's so good for her," she hold told us, smiling broadly, but behind the smile I could see the pain in her eyes deepen. "He really loves her." She added, her voice growing smaller with each word she spoke. Then suddenly, her smile broadened and her voice strengthened, sounding almost as if she was trying to force herself to sound happier than she really felt. "He saved her, you know? He rescued her away and has stood by her side ever since." And even through the smile, I saw her eye glisten with a tear. She blinked suddenly, as if to pull herself out of the trance she had gone into. And then I heard that hollow laugh she sometimes forces out of her, in an attempt to sound happy. "Enough about my childhood," she implored us. "Tell me some of your memories. I'm sure you must have some good stories."
I wanted nothing more than to hold her close at that moment and let her shed the tears which seemed to be holed up behind her eyes, never quite breaking free. I wanted to ask her more about her childhood. Why did it seem as though she yearned for a relationship with her horrid parents? Why did thoughts of her sister, whom she obviously adored, still bring tears to her eyes? She captivated me. I couldn't turn away, yet I couldn't answer her request. Luckily, Alice jumped in with a story about Emmett and I building a snow fort and the snowball fight that quickly ensued when we had attacked her 'stylish' snowman. Bella was laughing again. Back to her 'happy,' normal self, the 'happy' girl with the deeply burdened eyes.
Three months. Has it really only been three months?