Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.
Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.
Author's Note: This takes place in an AU where Lily lived and raised her autistic son with the help of Remus & Sirius. Being raised by loving parents led to Harry not trying to hide his autistic traits, as well as the adoption of a crazy black squirrel. That's right, y'all. Mayhem makes another appearance!
Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 10); MC4A
House: Hufflepuff
Assignment No.: Term 10 – Assignment 7
Subject (Task No.): Arithmancy (Task #4: Write about someone pursuing one of these professions [teaching].)
Space Address (Prompt): 4A (Purple)
Word Count: 652
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Indistinguishable from Disrespect
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"And you'll find that werewolves are quite easy to subdue with this simple spell," Lockhart explained. He demonstrated the 'spell' with an overly dramatic gesture that sent his lavender robes swishing about him. Harry didn't bother to watch too closely, instead focusing on doodling in his notebook. Mayhem snored delicately in his ear. The squirrel was a warm weight against the back of Harry's neck, which helped him stay grounded even with Lockhart's flashy style of lecturing.
Not that Lockhart had anything on Moony and Padfoot, when it came to Defense against the Dark Arts. Even his mother knew more than this farce, and she was a healer specializing in potions. But Harry knew that he wasn't supposed to call people out on their lies in public. It was rude, even if it was true. Harry didn't understand why it was ruder to announce that Lockhart was spouting lies than for Lockhart to be telling the lies in the first place, but he figured it was one of those weird social rules that didn't make sense yet everyone followed.
People were downright weird at the best of times.
At least Lockhart looked pretty in the various pastels he seemed to adore. Today was lavender, a nice soft purple (which wasn't Harry's favorite shade, but it was a purple, so Lockhart was forgiven). Last lesson had been a pale blue that did not do anything for the man's eyes, like he probably thought it did. The lesson before that had been either seafoam or sage. Luna and Harry weren't sure, and it had led to a fierce debate when they both should have been working on their Defense essays. God knows that it was a more interesting topic than Lockhart's favorite brand of hair potion.
Lockhart didn't use Cousin Fleamont's brand, so clearly it was inferior, regardless of the troll grade Lockhart had given Harry's essay explaining that fact.
At least Padfoot had found that funny, even if his mother and Moony hadn't. Their last letter had been full of unhelpful advice about the importance of doing assignments to the professor's specifications, even if he didn't like the professor. Harry had no problem doing the assignments when they were actually about the subject! Hair potion had nothing to do with defense, just like the stupid spell Lockhart was failing to cast had nothing to do with werewolves.
It was a copying spell. If someone tried to use it against a werewolf, all they would end up doing is doubling their danger. If they were lucky, the werewolf would be like Moony, who just wanted to be left alone during the full moon. If they were very unlucky, well, their problems would soon be over, wouldn't they?
"Mr. Potter, are you paying attention?" Lockhart barked, sounding more like Snape for a moment. Harry didn't bother looking up from his drawing of a Snorkack stomping a peacock into the ground.
"No," Harry admitted readily. He didn't try to control his tone, so it came out flat and distant. It highlighted just how little he cared about the so-called lesson being taught. Around him, his fellow Ravenclaws gasped in shock. Harry finally looked up, quickly realizing that this might be one of those times when he shouldn't have been honest about what he was doing (or rather, not doing). Mayhem flicked his tail but didn't wake.
Some familiar he was. Real supportive. Not.
In the end, he lost Ravenclaw another ten points for cheek (though Ravenclaw was used to that by now, because Snape did the same practically every lesson) and got a detention with Lockhart. Six hours answering Lockhart's fan mail taught him just as much of a lesson as listening to Lockhart lecture on literally any topic.
At least lavender did more for Lockhart's complexion than the cotton candy pink he wore to the detention, even if it wasn't Harry's favorite shade of purple.