I can sense it deep within you. That faint glimmer of light that you refuse to extinguish. You cling to it as you cling to sentimental vestiges of the past, of a life you chose to abandon long ago. I can sense the conflict within you, that deeply-rooted guilt that haunts you. It manifests in your pitiful attempts to pin your atrocities on others, as a half-witted attempt to absolve yourself of guilt. You justify your crimes, under the guise of keeping the peace, of restoring order to a galaxy locked in the bitterness of the conflict you helped cause. You are wracked with guilt, haunted and tormented by the last vestiges of a moral consciousness you insist on clinging to. The Light still hangs on within you, even if you think you are too consumed in your own rage and power-lust to see it.
But I know better.
Your instinctual fear of losing yourself gives me power. It provides me the fuel I need to whisper to you in your subconscious, planting suggestions, planting self-doubt, and giving you the motivation to drive yourself forward in your quest to give me more power. You are drunk on it, the sadistic pleasure that comes with your indulgence in the Dark Side. Every day you will hunger for more, until one day consumes you.
And I will be there to witness it with pleasure.
I am your Darkness. I am the feral beast that exists deep within your psyche that you feed through every fit of rage, every indulgence in hate, every drop of blood spilled. I am the monster that festers in the deepest and most horrifying reaches of your sick and twisted mind. Some will argue that this is external influence. Others will argue that you freely made these choices yourself. But regardless of motive, you are now a slave to me. I am on the other end of the leash that binds us together.
I am the monster that dwells within. I relish in the pleasure that comes with every scream of agony you inflict. I electrify your senses, give you strength and power, all the while consuming everything about you: everything you were, everything you are, everything that you would have been without me. Everything you have ever known, ever loved, every sentiment of joy, love, friendship, loyalty, compassion, mercy. I have extinguished them all, replaced them with a hate that even you've admitted you can't explain. But it is there, and its endless whispering drives you mad.
I am the maniacal laugh that tears from your throat as the Lightning tears from your fingers. I am the pleasure you receive when you exploit the suffering of others. I am the life force you drain from the innocent. I am the ember that burns within your eyes as you commune with the Darkness. I am the scream of every victim, every enemy, and every innocent.
You obey my commands, listen to my whispers, tap into my reserves of power. You conspire and contrive, weave your dark machinations, and scheme against those who dare to oppose you. You willingly and gladly kill, maim, torture, and exploit, and take pleasure in every moment of it. Yet somehow, throughout this transformation into the very thing you were taught to hate, you still cling to that glimmer of light. Somehow, even through giving in to your hate, through allowing the Force to change you in horrific ways, you still cling onto that last vestige of your weaker self. You call it a conscience, your love for those who were once close, a remnant of who you once were, a treasured memory of a simpler and happier time. Some part of who you once were still lives on, and you think that by burying it deep that you can hide it from me. But I am part of you. There is nothing you can hide from me. And I will slowly find that fragment of your former self, root it out, and crush it in much of the same way I broke the rest of you. You think you are your own free agent in this madness of your own creation. But you are not. You are mine.
The person you once were is gone. I am all that remains.
I am the monster within.
Author's Note: This is just a stream of consciousness piece inspired by the Palpatine laugh at the end of the Episode IX teaser. It's a short vignette written to explore the darkest part of the mind of a Dark Side user. Thank you so much for reading, and if you liked this, check out my other Star Wars fanfiction!
