Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or any of the characters all of those belong to Joss Whedon and his mutanites at M.E., also if I'm correct the rights of the show I believe be long to Fox… feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Paring: Buffy/Faith

Motive: I was bored and the idea for this particular story just popped in my head.

Rating: NC-17

A/N: Please review, I love reviews.

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People think I'm dead, but what do they know right? Or maybe it's not that they know, but more like they don't care… blissfully bound to the fact of one thing: I'm gone.

And of course when I say people, I'm saying B and the Scoobs…

Sometimes they make me sick, with all their righteousness and everything else. And B… don't get me started on her… always a thorn to my side… whenever I'm around she's always trying to one up me. And she's always the perfect angel… It's like, men want to be with her and women want to be her.

Not me… I'll never be her… but I've always wanted to be with her.

Surprised eh? Heh, I have a tendency to do that to people, just ask B. I kinda do regret helping the mayor looking back on it, all he did was use me… saying pretty words and pat me on the head when I did something right… something I've always wanted… Well he did what every male figure did in my life, Use me for what I was worth and then hang me out to dry.

But anyway back to B.

I knew I wanted her the first time I saw her. I know cliché right? The whole "two people look into each other's eyes and fall instantly in love" thing. You know, I usually hate clichés, but this is an exception… it's only one sided… B? Last time I checked she still drives stick… and let me tell you how crazy it makes me… Ok maybe not, cause you probably already know the deal with Angel… but the thoughts of her and him getting wriggly made my blood boil, picturing his hands roaming all over her body got me itching for a kill, and imagining her spasm against his body in ecstasy… well at that point I was already killing, vampires that is. I use those thoughts to egg me on when I'm slaying and afterwards I'm so hungry and horny that I take it out on a diner and maybe some random guy or girl there… but I don't always come home with a body on my arm so a lot of times I have to deal using the five finger treatment. It's then that you know who I'm thinking about.

B.

It's always about her; in everything I did it was always about her. Rather it was to please her or hurt her entirely, and with every action I do now, it will always be about her. God… I sound like some depressed and obsessed love sick puppy... God I sound like Angel!!!!

I always said if I sounded like that hunk of brooding ash that I would kill myself… But after B stabbed me in the gut… I don't want to die… and look at me now, just talking my life away to someone who probably thinks I'm nuts.

Back then I really did hurt B as best as I could… and now I kinda just want to apologize and move on with my life… with out her…

Who am I kidding? I couldn't live without her… the best I could do is pull an Angel and just watch over her… grr… Great now I'm acting like him too!

Couple of days ago I was following her around, as creepy as that is, but to her I'm dead so it really doesn't matter right? Well she was apparently having problems in fitting in not only in her school life but the slaying life at UCS.

I mean there was this gang of vamps and they pretty much took her down… this surprised the shit out of me. Buffy, my B, got beat by a small gang of vamps. And let me tell you, that the main leader bitch, pissed me the hell off and when I was watching all of this go down I wanted to dust her… so I did… well not while B was around of course. The vamps tried riling her up by stealing all of her shit and taking it back to their nest, and if you know B like I do… you don't touch her pastels for nothing… that'll get you hurt. But she never went to get them so I did, well not to take her crap… but I did give all those vamps a good whooping, even the drugged out hippy vamp. And before B ever showed up I made sure I was gone… I wasn't going to take away that bliss from her.

You're probably wondering why I'm not angry or wanting to kill her.

Simple…

I deserved what I got… even though, in a small way, I still have resentment towards her for stabbing me in the gut, I still deserved it.

The things I did to them… choking Xander, holding a knife to Red's throat… and what I did to B… well I don't expect forgiveness from her.

Why should I?

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud knock on my door. Stupid hotel manager, I already paid him this week. I get up off my bed and head over to the door and as I get up the door bangs louder.

"Alright, I'm coming! Shit, don't get your boxers in a bunch!" I yell towards my door.

I open the door and expect to get chew out by the hotel manager, Mike. But instead I find I'm somewhat in complete shock.

"Buffy…"