Love can be a bitch, sometimes.
This is what Hermione was thinking, two days after drunkenly owling a letter to Harry. One that told him that she was in love with him.
She couldn't even blame it on any of the people she was with, or that fact that she was drunk, due to her wording of the letter.
"I know you probably will think I'm only drunkenly writing this letter to tell you this but I've been in love with you for more than a year now and the only reason I grew the balls to admit it is because I'm drunk but I really do love you."
She was royally screwed.
She had been out with Ginny, Luna, Ron and Neville, for a night out at a muggle club, as a post-Christmas celebration. Harry was at Andromeda Tonks' home, visiting his godson, but they were still having a great time.
Hermione had never been more wasted in her life, and had even been sick. She stopped drinking after that, but she was still inebriated enough to be able to grow the courage to write the letter.
The bookworm could recall her writing to be clearer than Ron's (and Harry's) handwriting when sober. She was rather proud of that fact.
She'd received a reply back only a couple of hours later - a beautiful barn owl that was Harry's delivered the carefully worded note.
"Hermione, I don't like you like that but we are good friends Hermione. We are friends nothing's going to change that."
Not the most eloquent of replies, especially considering that he was sober, and she was not, but she really didn't blame him. She probably would have shit herself, or ran for the hills, if one of her friends - one that she didn't happen to have a crush on - had sent her that.
The brunette raised a hand to her face, in order to wipe away that tears she was sure would be falling. Her face was dry. Her stomach felt queasy, but, if she was honest, it was likely because she was still drunk.
Luna was the only one she told about sending the text (well, the only one she told whilst sober), and the blonde was extremely considerate about it.
Luna was also the one to make Hermione come to the epiphany that maybe she wasn't actually 'in love' with Harry.
The bookworm spent a whole day mulling this over in her head, and she realised that her ditzy friend was right. Books, especially, had led her to believe that falling in love with her best friend was the norm, and her, poor, innocent brain, had led itself to the wrong conclusion. Sure, she loved Harry, but it wasn't romantic. He was like her brother.
She tried sending casual messages to Harry, but he didn't reply to her for a couple of days, which had led to her sending a stream of panicked letters to Luna, who was unable to reply before the next letter arrived. A simple "Everything will be fine, Hermione." was all that she wrote in reply, and that didn't do much to comfort the worried brunette.
It turned out, Harry had been so busy with Teddy, that he hadn't had a chance to reply to her, and she was rather relieved that that was the case (though was somewhat dubious about that being the true reason he had been silent).
"Okay, we need to have a serious talk about this. I'm 90% sure that, if you listened to what I have to say, everything would be back to normal, but that won't happen if you continue to ignore my messages. I know you must be feeling really awkward, and this is why we need to sort this out. I thought we were fine, but after the past couple of days, it's obvious we're not. So, if you would reply, I could tell you something that I came to an epiphany about, which will seriously make things better."
That was the last message Hermione sent before she got a reply.
"We are fine. I wasn't ignoring you, I was really busy today and yesterday with Teddy. I took him out, and wasn't able to read any of the letters you sent."
Still, she really needed to get it off her chest. They were returning to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays, and the bookworm wanted to dissolve all tension before they returned to being in each others' company almost 24/7.
Her reply was wordy, but she hoped it got the message across.
"I hope you had fun with Teddy, but I really think you deserve to hear this. You may think that we're fine, but it would be best if we were to clear the air before we saw each other again.
Here goes.
Sometimes I think I get too attached to the people who show me a slight bit of affection, and then I think that I have a crush on them. When you said you don't like me that way, I wasn't heartbroken, a bit upset, yes, but not in tears the way I would expect myself to be.
I do love you, but I think it's more of a friend/brotherly love, which I've been mistaking all these years for 'in love' kind of love because I've never actually been in a relationship, so I don't know what being in love is truly like. Plus, because of all the books I've read, where best friends fall in love with each other, I think I've been slightly brain washed by the idea of falling for my best friend, so I see it as the 'real' explanation for my feelings.
Yes, I love you, but I'm 95% sure I'm not actually IN love with you.
I hope this alleviates the residual tension between us, because I don't know what I'd do without my best friend. We're two peas in a pod, and being without you would kill me. I miss you, and I hope you're enjoying time with your godson, and I'll see you very soon.
New Years Eve, right? I think I'll stay away from the drink for that.
Anyway, I'll see you soon.
Love,
Hermione."
It was the most honest letter she'd ever wrote, and she sent it off with slight hesitation. She could feel something weighing on her chest, but she ignored it.
Instead, she picked up a book, settled in her favourite armchair in her childhood home, and waited for Harry's reply.
A/N: I left it with a cliffhanger for a reason. Basically all of what happened to Hermione happened to myself recently, and even some (all) of the messages were real texts, only edited, in order to fit the story. I may write a sequel/epilogue, depending on how things go with my own situation. I, just like you guys, are eager to learn what Harry will reply. (Fun fact, while I am obviously Hermione, my 'Harry' is actually called Harry in real life. Coincidence? Probably.)
On a different note, I know that it doesn't seem to be a Harry/Hermione story, but I am a Harmony/Harmione shipper, so I have marked it as such.
Thanks for reading this, and hope I didn't hurt your shipping hearts too much.
~Snowflake~
