A/N: Done for a soundtrack prompt for the Homestuck Shipping Olympics. The songs were Love Me Dead by Ludo, Kiss with a Fist by Florence & the Machine, and Le Disko by Shiny Toy Guns.
It didn't take much to get Spades Slick's gears grinding, really. If you were to look closely at his hands, you could even see scars where his fingernails had dug into his hand too hard from clenching them into rage-full fists. There were a lot of things that pushed his buttons and there were a lot of things that just plain infuriated him. But there were two things that easily topped the list of "things that make Spades Slick want to stab people", two things that often made the conversations they came up in end in blood.
The second one was cats.
Just fuck the little furry bastards. Fuck 'em.
The first was Snowman.
And of course that contemptuous she-witch was a cat person.
There had only been a small handful of people who had ever been foolish to ask "how it was going" with the two of them. And there had only been a small handful of bodies found in the river flowing alongside the city, too.
The mere mention of her name could put Slick in a frenzy depending on what kind of mood he was in. It was rare that anyone who dared mention her in the same context of him got out with anything less than a shining black eye. Whenever their paths crossed—a rare event, but an unfortunate one nonetheless—the gang-wide blood baths that inevitably followed usually made national news. Aside from perhaps "not getting that bitch when he got the chance", Slick would sweep away any regrets afterward; the bloodshed meant little to him.
But just the fact that she existed was enough to make his blood boil, and more than enough for him to want to see more blood spilled.
She knew it, too, and boy, did Snowman take advantage of it. To The Felt, she'd call him her "little toy" (and to his face whenever the opportunity arose). It was all a game to her, another thing that only enraged him further, even moreso when she called it "cat and mouse." As far as Snowman was concerned, she had Slick tied right around her finger in every single way and could, whenever she was bored with him, simply flick him off, away into the fire.
They had the kind of total, absolute hatred between them that made him just want to wrap his hands around her neck and squeeze, to gun down her gang one by one just to see the desperation on her face when it was finally her turn. He wanted her to bleed, to shriek in absolute agony, to cry—he would absolutely soar if he could get her to cry, he was sure, just jump towards the sky and go. He would do anything to wipe that constant arrogant smirk off her face, to see her totally aware that her life was in his hands, that their game of "cat and mouse" had turned him into a mad dog. More than anything, Spades Slick wanted to take Snowman and kiss her, kiss her until their lips bled, to bite and scratch and snog and—
It was pretty wishful thinking.
Although, there was that one time she stabbed him in the eye.
And that was something, he guessed.