A/N: I haven't written anything for a while, but I hope this still might be enjoyable. J Judit J gets the credit for get me going again with her threat to come after me if I don't write an episode tag to every single episode:). I will try my best.
The drive back to the headquarters was quiet.
Lisbon concentrated on driving, forcing her thoughts to stay tight and focused, violently squashing any thoughts trying to sneak out. She couldn't let herself think how they had been fooled by Red John. Again. She would pick apart the whole scenario later, when she was alone and could let her fatigue show. For now, she would concentrate on driving, getting her and Jane safely home. Jane…
Jane, who hadn't said a single word since they left the prison. Who had followed her like a lost puppy and sat down quietly in the car, staring straight ahead without seeing a thing. Who even now barely made a move and only the slightest movement of his chest told her that he was indeed alive.
A new worry rose through the levels of chaos and burst into the front. Jane always bounced back from these setbacks, but what if this was one time too many. She hadn't seen him so desolate before and the deepness of his silence and stillness was unnerving.
Lisbon cast a quick glance in the mirrors; they were alone on a road in the middle of nowhere, the setting sun painting the surrounding sand and dry bushes in dark gold, casting growing shadows. She put her foot determinedly on the break and brought the car to a halt on the side of the road, causing the dust to stream around the car, while they sat inside in silence, without moving.
When the silence became too much, Lisbon reached out for Jane's hand. She slowly slid her fingers over his knuckles, flipping his hand over and resting her hand on his palm twining her fingers with his cold, cold hand. Jane let her do whatever she pleased, but did not react to her presence otherwise.
Lisbon let go of his hand to be better able to release her seatbelt before turning back to him. The dust outside the car had settled and the sun was dipping low below the horizon. The silence was deep and undisturbed as Lisbon studied Jane, trying to read him as he read others, but he wasn't giving too much away.
As Jane sat quietly, frozen in his own personal hell, Lisbon reached for his hand again. The coldness of his fingers gave her an idea, although she wasn't sure how he would react, but at the moment any kind of reaction would be welcome.
She slowly started massaging his left hand, trying to get the blood flowing, trying to bring back any warmth to those graceful fingers. After toiling away for few minutes with this task, she was encouraged when his fingers gave a small twitch. That was better than nothing.
She slowly released his hand and quickly released his seat belt, having to lean across him to make sure that it didn't get entangled with him. Following a random idea in her head, she opened the side door before lifting herself back up to her seat. Warm, dry air flooded the inside of the cool car.
Lisbon pushed and pulled until she managed to move Jane sideways, his legs dangling out of the car as he faced the landscape outside. Lisbon twisted on her seat so that she was faced with his back and hesitantly set her hands on his shoulders. Still no response as Jane was following blindly her lead.
She tugged at his jacket and managed to remove it and tossed it into the back seat and returned her hands on his shoulders. She slowly started massaging his tightly coiled muscles, trying to relax them, trying to bring some warmth back to the man's soul through warming his body.
Just when she thought that it was being useless, that Jane was never going to response to her silly idea and she started faltering in her ministration, Jane leaned back against her hands. The movement was small, but clear and gave her hope.
She moved closer to him to relieve the ache in her own arms and decided to leave his broad shoulders alone for a while as she let one of her arms to rest while lifting the other one to massage the tight muscles around his neck. When her hand made contact with the bare skin of his neck, he reacted with a violent shudder almost shrugging of Lisbon and making her to topple over backwards. She had hoped for a reaction and she got what she wanted.
Jane's hand rose quickly and with almost too much force clamped down on Lisbon's small hand against his neck. She froze. Jane's head fell forwards, his chin almost touching his chest as he held her hand against his neck and it took few moments to get over the shock of skin to skin sensation before Lisbon realized that Jane's shoulders were shaking as he tried to control his sobbing.
Without thinking Lisbon shuffled closer on her knees until she was sharing the same seat, her knees around Jane's hips and she tightly held him from behind, resting her cheek against his back as he wept. Jane rested his hands around hers as she circled his waist, tightly clasping them like he was afraid the she would evaporate if he let go.
The warm air gusted around the pair as the sun disappeared and eventually the coolness of the night made Lisbon to shiver. Jane had stopped crying some time ago, the hot wind drying his face, but neither of them had wanted to let go of the comfort of the other's presence. Now though Jane let go of her hands and moved to turn on his seat, making Lisbon to scuttle back to her own seat and settle down facing the wind shield as if nothing had happened.
Jane sat properly again on his seat and reached to close the door without looking at Lisbon. She sighed deeply in her mind resigned to revert back to their usual relationship. She could only hope that this short moment in time, when she could offer him support and show that she cared, was enough to avert any impending disaster and that Jane would regain his strength to go on.
She lifted her hand to the keys in ignition to start the car again when a warm hand stopped her in mid motion. Startled she looked up into Jane's sad eyes and was frozen when he removed his hand and cupped her face with both of his hands.
He quietly caressed her face for a moment as he stared into her eyes and Lisbon could only think how good his hands felt. When her eyes were closing without any conscious decision from her part in response to Jane's caress, she became aware of his proximity and how he was getting closer.
Jane's kiss on her forehead lingered on until finally his lips departed her skin. When she opened her eyes, she found him still cradling her head, looking back with glistening eyes. Lisbon smiled shyly back and covered his hand with hers before leaning down to start the car to continue their way home.
Jane would recover and they would figure this out somehow. As she drove on, the warmth of Jane's hand as he held hers tightly gave her all the reassurance that she needed.
They were going to be okay.
The end