Swishy Fantasies Presents:


Witty Motel, 1313 Nowhere Road: Chapter 1

by: Yours truly


Swishy: Hello! Before we get on with the story, we'd like to take the time to give you the...

DISCLAIMER!!!

Shaadi: Making the font look fancy and bold does not make it anymore original than everyone else's.

Swishy: *frowns* Be quiet, Shaadi. The disclaimer's the most fun part of the fic.

Shaadi: Still, you cannot make it look anymore original...

Swishy: Aw.. Shaadi! Why do you have to take everything so seriously? It's suppose to be fun.

Shaadi: And may I also point out that you are not the first one to use me in a disclaimer, either?

Swishy: I just think it's such a great idea, since you rarely show up in anyone's stories.

Shaadi: Can you at least point out that these are not all your original ideas?

Swishy: *yells* THAT'S WHAT THE DISCLAMER'S FOR, DUMMY SHAADI!

Shaadi: *grumbles* It's not my fault I didn't notice, my mind's on greater things, such as guarding the Millennium Items.

Swishy: Speaking of which, you take your job way too seriously.

Shaadi: I do not. Guarding the Millennium Items is a big responsibility. If these items were to fall into the wrong hands...

Swishy: Weell, Wrapping them in bubble wrap, implanting DNA sensors in them, refusing to keep them in Fort Knox or a Swiss bank because they lack the security, and guarding the room which you keep them in with 78 different varieties of alarms, kinda, well, seems to me to be a slight exaggeration of your duties.

Shaadi: That's not an exaggeration! Fort Knox doesn't have any magical or dimensional barriers, how do you expect them to be able to protect...

Swishy: Just go and do the disclaimer, Shaadi. *hands sheet*

Shaadi: *reads* Disclaimer: Swishy Fantasies does not own the following: disclaimers, Shaadi, any of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Entities, the Big Five, bubble wrap, Fort Knox, Shaadi's mind, DNA sensors, any Swiss Banks, alternate dimensions, or any Millennium Items... yet... Hey! What's the whole "yet" thing about?

Swishy: Did I forget Yodel's brain? 'Cause I don't own that either...

Yodel: *pops up* I ate it! *back down*

Shaadi: I want to know what--

*STARTING FANFIC*

Through keen observations, one could reach the conclusion that if one were to asked 10 common,
everyday high schools students what they thought of school, 9 ½ of them would say they hate it.
Although, at least two of them would probable give you a few choice words if asked to elaborate on
the subject, and these descriptions certainly wouldn't show up in a PG movie any day soon. But that's
off the point. Furthermore, if the same kids were asked again whether they would prefer a field trip
over a day in class, again, about 9 ½ of them would say yes. And finally, to wrap it up, ask those 10
kids again if they would feel happy about going on an all day field trip, about 8 ½ of them would say
"yes" again. One of them would most likely interrupt and ask you why you are asking them so many
questions. And right now, about 9 ½ out of 10 of you are asking yourselves this "Where in the world
is this wandering author going?" About ½ out of 10 of you are asking "Where in the world is Carmen
Sandiego?" So now, as a conclusion, I will explain to you the answer to the first question. You see, I
was leading you readers up to the reaction which our subject, Jounouchi Katsuya*, had when he
found out that instead of taking a test, a pop quiz, and listening to a twenty page lecture on the
history of jam jars, he was, instead going on a field trip to an aquarium. He threw his books in the air
and shouted:

YAHOO!!"

But, due to the side effects of hasty reaction, his math book then proceeded west to the teacher's
coffee mug, language went to the right on to his best friend Hiroto Honda's* head, and his papers
went all over the room. The results of this was Honda nearly having his brains bashed in, Ms. Chono
losing her coffee mug (and coffee), and Jounouchi earning a blow to the stomach and nearly earning
an expulsion plus a F in Physics for not predicting what would happen by flinging his books all over
the place. However, fortunately for Jounouchi, they were interrupted by someone coming in and
announcing that the charter bus was here. Ms. Chono was more than glad to make Jounouchi leave,
leaving Jounouchi to wonder why she got so ticked off at him for a little accident like that. But, never
mind that, onward to the bus he went.

After much apologizing and coaxing, Honda finally agreed that the flying text book incident could be
overlooked and that he would sit next to Jounouchi on the bus. After all, Jounouchi was sorry, and
none of the remaining seats were next to anybody he knew (or wanted to know). So, he sat down next
to Jounouchi and immediately began discussing important matters, such as who was the stupidest
teacher and how school sucked. Every once in a while, between Jounouchi passionately arguing that
Ms. Chono had to be the stupidest teacher in the school ("Expelling me over just a stupid little coffee
mug?!?) and Honda's persistent argument that Mr. Kyoto was more of an idiot than Ms. Chono ("He
failed me over one petty little assignment!!"), from behind them Tea was arguing her point that maybe
it wasn't the teacher, it was Jounouchi and Honda acting up, and that Honda's grade was already on
the edge to begin with. But they pretty much ignored her and continued on to discuss the movies they
had watched recently. Yugi sat beside Tea, half listening to them, half talking about life in general with
his Yami, who was only half listening to Yugi and half thinking about dueling (which he always does).
Yugi had his head against the window as he sat there, half listening, half talking, plus ignoring the
trees going whizzing by outside the window.

Meanwhile, across the aisle, Ryou Bakura had turned around to ask one of the girls sitting behind him
to ask for a CD. One of the most annoying things about the spirit of the Millenium Ring was that he
had thrown out all of Bakura's old CDs, which he said were full of "fu-fu music for pathetic mortal
fools and idiots". His father had refused to let him buy any more CDs because he was wasting money
buying exact copies of the ones he just threw out. So, Bakura had absolutely no CDs. Fortunately for
him, all of his inter-class fans listen to the same genre of music he did, so he just asked to borrow
some of theirs. He put the CD in, on with the headphones, turned the volume to the perfect level, then
pressed play. As the music filled his ears, a strange tremor riveted through him. Had he just flinched
at the music? Then he realized it was the spirit of the Millennium Ring.

"If you don't like it, you don't have to listen." he told the evil spirit. He was answered with a moan, a
growl, and then loud, muttered grumbling. And then Yami Bakura** retreated into the Millennium
Ring.

Meanwhile, behind the girls behind Bakura, Meiko* Tsunami had stealthily pulled out a self-help book
on "How to Feel Less Like an Backstage-er and More Like a Hero: Moving Up In Life". Recently he
had be consumed by this weighty feeling that life was a TV show and he was just some sad little extra.
Because depression like the aforementioned can really hurt your social life and your concentration,
he checked out a book on the subject from the school library. However, to not dig a hole in his social
life in another way, he had disguised the book to look like a common, ordinary magazine. Although
some people thought it was a little strange that Meiko* was in to break-dancing, the trick worked. No
one suspected a thing.

Elsewhere on the bus, people were chatting happily. Unless you were Seto Kaiba or Espa Roba. Kaiba
had a very grumpy expression on his face, and Roba wasn't there, due to the fact that he had sibling
to take care of and two of them that had the chicken pox. Kaiba, on the other hand, had left Mokuba
to go to school, then go straight home and lock the door. After all, he was old enough to take care of
himself. But, just in case, he had hired a bodyguard which had be put through an intense background
check before even being considered for the job. And he had placed tracking devices on both of them.
Speaking of which, he turned on the tracking device. "What?!?" Mokuba wasn't at Kaiba Manor! He
quickly typed in a search of the surrounding area. Mokuba was on a moving vehical traveling on 236
West at 50 mph. He glanced up just in time to see a sign reading "236 W" flash by before..

"Hi, Seto!"

Kaiba jumped. He whirled around (actually, turned around because he was sitting down) to see...
"Mokuba!"

"This's a cool bus. Why doesn't my class get to ride charter buses?"

"What are you doing here?!?"

"I hate school." said Mokuba "It's boring. I heard you were going on a trip to the aquarium, so I
wanted to come too! Please, Seto, can I stay?"

Kaiba frowned "But I thought I hired a bodyguard to keep an eye on you."

"He's worse than school, so Shana distracted him while I snuck to your school."

"Who's Shana?"

Just then a frizzy, blonde-headed girl with a serious caffeine issue popped out from behind Mokuba.

"Himyname'sshananicetomeetyakaibayourmokubasbigbrotherrightwestoppedatstarbucksbeforeweg
ottoyourschoolandiboughtanicedespressodoyouknowthatespressossomekindareallystrongcoffeewithl
otsacaffeineandiputextrasugerinmineyouknowilikesugarireallyreallydoyaknow..."

Kaiba's frown grew sharper.

"Don't worry Seto, We didn't charge it to your credit card even though Shana's espresso was kinda
expensive."

"Mokuba..." began Kaiba, but Shana interrupted him.

"Immokubasfriendifyadidntknowcauseimnothisgirlfriendincaseyouthoughiwascausesomepeoplethink
imhisgirlfriendcausewesitatthesametableatlunchdoyouhaveanyfriendskaiba?"

Kaiba interrupted "Mokuba?"

"Yes, Seto?" said Mokuba nervously.

He sighed. "Do you know how much trouble you may have caused?"

Mokuba looked at the floor. "Sorry, Seto... I just really don't like that bodyguard guy, he made me
look stupid. And his name was Bob! How in the world can I look cool with a bodyguard named Bob?"

"But you can't just hop on someone's field trip without asking. And I don't have anyone to come take
you off the bus. Just sit here and don't make any noise." He motioned to the seat beside himself.

"Where's Shana going to sit?"

Shana added "Yeahthatsrightkaibaicantsitonyourlapyouvegottalaptop..."

The thought of having a sugar-hyped, caffeine loaded pre-teen ditz on his lap made him shudder.

"Just, go, sit anywhere far, far, far up front."

"But I can't talk to her when she's sitting in the front." complained Mokuba.

How could he understand what she was saying? But then he realized that people might start paying
attention to him in the back of the bus.

"Talk later. She goes to the front." commanded Kaiba.

"Awwyouremeankaibamokubayourebrothersameanieidontwannasitnexttohimifhesgonnabeagrouchillsi
tnexttotheguywiththeblackponytail." She then proceeded to suddenly and abruptly sit down five seats
up next to Otogi*, who was reading a magazine.

"Himynamesshanaimmokubasfriendyoureaniceguynicerthankaibaanywayyouvegotcooldiceearingswh
eredyagetthemiwantearingslikethoseyouknowihadanespressobeforeigotonthebusdoyouknowthatespr
essossomekindareallystrongcoffeewithlotsacaffeineandiputextrasugerinmineyouknowilikesugarireall
yreallydoyaknowandwanaplaythelicenceplategamehuh?huh?huh?..."

Otogi looked up slowly from his magazine, turned to look at her for a few seconds, turned back
around slowly and buried his head in the magazine and hoped the aquarium wasn't too much further
away.

After the discovery of the sugar-hyped blond-haired girl on the bus, the trip became very interesting
to a few, and very agonizing to most. Jounouchi thought it was funny, for at least a little while, to
watch her for a while to see if she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. But she didn't, and her
ceaseless babbling began to drive him crazy. When was she going to shut up? Finally, she came down
from her hyperactive state and fell asleep in her chair. But by that time, the continuous steady stream
of words had hypnotized everyone into a deep slumber. (Either that, or everyone didn't really fall
asleep, their brain's just overloaded from too much nonsense to comprehend.) Jounouchi was snoring
loudly and leaning against Honda who was leaning against the window, also snoring. Anzu had fallen
asleep in her chair, and Yugi was leaning forward and was drooling on his Millennium Puzzle, much to
the unhappiness of his disgruntled Yami. Bakura slept for a while peacefully, then occasionally twitch
and smirk in a nasty way, then go back to peaceful dreams. Meiko* slept, Mai** slept, Kaga* slept,
Ryu-zaki* slept, extras numbers 1-16 slept,... ok, lets just let the record say everyone slept EXECPT
Kaiba. He was too busy running a company over a laptop to sleep. He almost never sleeps. Which
makes us wonder whether he's a vampire or not... But totally not the point. Kaiba was awake, typing
up a storm and occasionally taking a sip from his coffee which he paid the teacher not to confiscate.
He shouldn't have done that, however, because the bus all of a sudden lurched and he accidently spilt
his coffee all over Mokuba. Unfortunatly, Mokuba was having a nightmare, and having coffee spilt all
over him just confirmed that his brother was being murdered.

"AAAHHHH!!! SETO'S JUST BEEN MURDERED AND THEY'VE POURED OUT HIS BLOOD ALL OVER
ME!!" (People will believe crazy things when their only half awake)

Before Kaiba could respond, the half-awake Mokuba had jumped to his feet and dove over the seat
right on to Jounouchi and Honda. Jounouchi thought in his sleepy state he was being attacked by a
ferocious creature. So, doing the first thing that came to mind when being attacked by a ...
something... , he started wacking Mokuba. Honda was thrown in a state of disorganized mind, and
started hitting the closest thing to him (Mokuba). Mokuba by now had been thrown into a state of
hysterics and was flailing about, and when Kaiba tried to get him off Jounouchi, he fought back.

"YOU CAN'T EAT MY SPLEEN, MR. EVIL JOUNOUCHI MAN! GO AWAY!!"

"GET OFF ME YOU MAN-EATING CAMEL-DOG!!" yelled Jounouchi

Honda was confused. "Wha..who? Whosgotacameradog?"

"Mokuba!" began Kaiba, trying to get him off of Jounouchi and Honda, but then Jounouchi kicked
Kaiba in the stomach and knocking him on to Shana and Otogi. Otogi was dreaming about being in a
candy factory and bit Kaiba. Shana had other dreams.

"THE SKY IS FALLING!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!! RIVERS OF BLOOD AND ENTRAILS ARE
EVERYWHERE!!" (boy, what a graphic little child)

We can all just see it now. The bus being thrown into chaos, everyone up and panicked, Otogi trying to
eat Kaiba, Jonouchi yelling about man-eating camel-dogs, Mokuba crying, Shana screaming about
"blood, doom, eternal school, evil psycho maniacs, little green yami from Mars, evil Charlie monsters
from Pluto, and the world's end by the moon smashing into it", and Yami Bakura laughing and trying
to bite off their neck. All of a sudden, the bus swerved to the side. It stopped, the door opened, the
bus driver jumped out and ran off into the night screaming "THE WORLD'S ENDING! THE WORLD'S
ENDING!"
"Oh brother." thought Kaiba. He pulled out his Megaphone-in-a-Box, turned it on, and yelled into it.
"FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" Otogi chomped on his wrist. Kaiba put the megaphone in his face.
"ATTENTION, OTOGI! STOP BITING ME!" Otogi stopped biting, woke up, greatly ticked off, seized
the megaphone and said in to it "ATTENTION, KAIBA. I CAN HEAR YOU FINE WITHOUT YOUR
MEGAPHONE." Kaiba glared and seized back the megaphone. "OK. DUE TO THE LACK OF A BUS
DRIVER, I WILL BE IN CHARGE. YOU WILL ALL LISTEN TO ME! ME! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!" He
cackled maniacally. All the people on the bus stared at him. "*ahem* YOU WILL NOW STOP STARING
AT ME, SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET!" Everyone but Jounouchi sat down. "Oh, great. Why does the
mutt always have to be a little rebel?" muttered Kaiba. Jounouchi seized the megaphone and said in
to it "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE?!" Kaiba reclaimed the megaphone. "I AM
NOT ALWAYS IN CHARGE, JOUNOUCHI. DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR PLACE IN LIFE,
YOU CAMEL-DOG."

Jounouchi grabbed it back. "YES YOU ARE ALWAYS TELLING US WHAT TO DO!"

"So, are you admitting that I have superiority over you?"

"NO, I'M SAYING THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS ASSUMING IT!"

"I assume it because it's true."

Before Jounouchi could come up with a counter-argument, Yami Bakura grabbed the megaphone.

"ATTENTION, EVERYONE! THE PHAROAH IS A CAMEL-DOG! SOMEONE HAS JUST PLANTED A
BOMB ON YOUR STUPID LITTLE BUS! ALL YOU IDIOTS BETTER START RUNNING FOR YOU
PATHETIC LITTLE LIVES! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" He thew his head back to laugh and was
trampled by twenty frantic high-schoolers and two scared middle-schoolers, leaving one annoyed
looking Yami Yugi and one flattened-looking Yami Bakura on the bus. He sighed, picked up Yami
Bakura and the abandoned megaphone, and walked calmly walked off the bus. After getting a close
enough distance for the huddle mass of poor, frightened, idiots who actually believe that there was a
bomb on the bus... Actually, it was a mix of that, and people who had been carried off the bus by
force... Well, he just got within hearing range of them. Yami Yugi turned the megaphone back on and
said very calmly into the megaphone. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE. THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE BUS.
EVIL BAKURA'S JUST A MORON. I REPEAT, THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE --"

All of a sudden, the bus exploded into a huge inferno. Great big pieces of the bus were sent flying in
all directions. Glass shards were everywhere, and a large piece of tire landed on Yami Yugi's head.

"ER... I MEAN, THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE BUS, BUT I THINK IT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY
COMBUSTED." said Yami Yugi, looking very shocked.

"Actually," said Yami Bakura dryly, "There was. You wanna know how I knew?"

"No."

"I planted it there." He then broke into insane, evil giggles.

Just then, the clouds let loose all their might and a down-pour started, soaking everyone instantly.
Heavy rain fall stirred up the sand around them. Kaiba felt like he was being rubbed down with sand
paper.

"Jounouchi, both of your "friends" are complete loonies. You belong together in an asylum."

As if on cue, lightning crackled across the sky. "To shelter!" yelled someone, and they all dashed
towards their hotel... and to Fate's arms, waiting to toss them into the jaws of Yami Bakur... er, I
mean Doom.

* ** I alternate between dubbed names and Japanese names, it's a off habit I have.

Swishy: Well, doesn't that make a nice first chapter?

Shaadi: It's too short. You have too many font changes. There are spelling mistakes. You use "and" too much.

Swishy: Stop it, Shaadi! Other people are suppose to review my fic, not you!

Shaadi: I still say it's unfit for publishing... and not very profitable.

Swishy: Everyone, please review my fic. Only no flames pretty please, Shaadi already flamed it enough to start a real bonfire.

Shaadi: By the way, what was that about not having any Millennium Items yet?

Yodel: Shaadi's hair is really pink and his pajamas are like a pink bunny suit.

Shaadi: You lie!

Yodel: They also have camel-dogs on them. See? *holds up Shaadi pajamas with little Jounouchi heads on them*

Swishy: Oh, and by the way, please welcome my co-editor and co-commentor Yodel!

Yodel: I am dead. Review or I will come back from the dead as an evil, carnivorous camel-dog, and steal Bakura away so none of you can have his pretty but deranged Yami.

P.S.: I don't like flames, but please tell me if I misspell someone's name, or if you don't like me using both dubbed names and Japanese names.