This is the promised prequel to my other story 'Feeling Safe' for everyone who wondered what happened to Julian.
I own nothing. Julian and Logan are CP Coulter's characters from Dalton.
Reviews are like Jogan kisses :)
It was especially warm for a late spring day so most of the Stuart boys had decided to spend their time outside enjoying the sun.
Much to Logan's dismay the Windsor's had had the same idea and that ended in him sitting with his two best friends flanking him only a few metres away from his current object of desire. That on his own wouldn't have been a bad thing but unfortunately said person's boyfriend was currently lying with his head in the former boy's lap. Blaine had obviously forgone the gel today so Kurt was running his hands through Blaine's thick curls. Sickeningly sweet.
Logan had decided that morning not to take his medication in favour of feeling and enjoying the sunny day. Feeling something even something as cruel as jealousy was better than being numb. He watched as Kurt swiftly leaned down to place a chaste kiss on Blaine's lips.
"Oh come one. Can I never get away from them?" Logan hissed harshly.
"Just ignore them. We can go sit somewhere else."
"I don't!" said Julian annoyed. "The sun is just right here. Get a fucking grip, Wright. Kurt is with Blaine. We said it numerous times and I am going to say it again. Back off. He's not even worth it." The actor was laid back, propped up on his elbows, eyes closed behind his shades and soaking up the sun.
With one quick movement Logan sat up and grabbed the sunglasses off of Julian's face.
"What was that, Larson?"
"Come on, Wright, give me the bloody glasses back. I am not in the mood for joining your pity party."
"What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Say. About. Kurt?" Logan hissed anger clearly visible in his eyes.
"Should have taken your pills this morning, Wright. At least you are somewhat easy to stand with them."
Logan threw the glasses into the grass and leaned over Julian, hands gripping the actor's arms tightly.
"If you have something to say, say it!"
Julian looked at Logan trying to see how far he could push the other boy before he'd regret it. Fuck this. He didn't care about stopping now. He wanted to push him over the fucking edge. Fighting was better than being ignored.
"I said he's not even worth it"! Julian smirked up at Logan. Satisfied to see his eyes blazing with fire.
"Oh and you know all about being worthless don't you Julian?" The blond instead of seething with rage had a smug grin on his face.
"Logan, shut up!" Derek yelled. As always he seemed to be the only sane person in their trio.
"No Derek, that's fine. Logan is just being the usual prick. Nothing new!" He turned his eyes back to Logan who still had a tight grip on his arms. "You are one to talk about being worthless, Wright. I'm not the one who has to be drugged to be around people. I'm not the one who sits here pities himself because his new favourite toy is with Blaine. I'm not the one everyone is scared to cross because he is a fucking lunatic." Julian had talked himself into a full on rage and everything that he had kept bottled up inside himself was flowing out. "I'm not the one who is too thick to see what's right under his fucking nose. I'm not the one who hurts everyone around him with his bullshit. So, yeah, Logan, think again about who is worthless." With that Julian threw Logan's hands off him, snatched his sunglasses up and walked away.
Logan stared after his friend for a little while until the actor vanished somewhere behind Hanover House. He turned towards Derek with a confused look on his face.
"What's his problem?"
Derek just looked at him and shook his head.
"Why do the two of you always have to fight?"
"Because it's how we work, Derek. Always been like that, you know that."
"Yeah, yeah I know. Course I do. I always end up standing in the middle of everything, don't I?"
"But something was off. Since when does our diva get all offended and blows up like that?" Logan searched his brain for an answer. Julian had been a bit distant since he came back and especially since the Valentine's fair but Logan had blamed that on his long absence or on stress.
"Logan, you are pushing him. In fact you are pushing both of us to our limits with the whole Kurt-Blaine-debacle."
"But you are not blowing up in my face like that!"
"Yeah because I get enough sideaction to relax and I never bother with your silly conquests. Julian just... nevermind."
"No, what about Julian?"
"He just takes it differently for one and then he has too much on his mind already. So leave it alone!"
"There is something you are not telling me. What's going on, Derek?" Logan's stared intently at Derek. The other boy just looked at the ground and thought about it for a few seconds.
"I can't. I promised..." Logan huffed.
"I guess I can tell you one of the things. But don't freak out."
"You know I can't promise that. What has he done now? Impregnated a fan?"
Derek rolled his eyes at that.
"You know about the stalker right?"
"Yeah, he keeps sending his love messages to Julian. So what Jules fell for him or what? Is he gay now? Afraid to come out?" Derek rolled his eyes again. If Logan only knew.
"No, quite the opposite actually. The stalker has gone from sending his love to sending death threats. He promised that something would happen to Jules if he takes on the next movie. Somehow the stalker has a problem with him marrying on screen." This time it was Logan's turn to roll his eyes.
"Psychotic fans. Glad that I don't have to deal with that." He muttered.
"You should be. Remember a few weeks ago when I texted you that Julian needed us? And your highness was too busy throwing yet another pity party?"
"Come on, something stupid is always wrong with Julian. I can't always drop everything just to kiss a scratch on his knee so he stops crying."
"You really are an asshole! I really don't know how Jules... well anyways. That night he wanted to leave Dalton. Like without coming back."
"What changed his mind? Scared of the dark? Scared of being alone in a big city?"
"Shut up, Logan! More like scared for his life. That psychopath stalker came to Dalton or maybe he is already at Dalton. There was blood on the steps and mutilated pictures of him. It was terrifying. He totally freaked out. He was crying and it took me more than an hour to calm him down!"
"What? Derek, what the hell? Why didn't you tell me?" Logan shouted; he was pissed. How could they keep something like that from him? No matter how out of it he was because of Kurt, he would never let anything happen to Julian or Derek. They were his best friends he would do anything to protect them.
"I texted you that night. Julian was so out of it but you didn't show. Hell, you didn't even pick up the fucking phone when I called. The next morning I had to promise him that I wouldn't say anything. He thought that as long as he stayed her, he'd be safe..."
"Wait thought? As in the past?"
"Yeah, letter drenched in blood are still showing up almost every day."
Logan stared at Derek stunned. This happened everyday?
"How did I not notice anything?" He asked.
"Seriously, Logan? You are too caught up in your weird obsession with Kurt to notice anything else going on around you. It's been quite a while since the three of us have hung out like this."
"No way, Julian was just here with us. What are you talking about?"
"Yeah, that was the first time in more than a week that the three of us were together for more than an hour. Julian always ditches us and goes to hang out with that Adam kid. And now you've pushed him away again."
"Adam?"
"The new guy in Hanover. I think he has a serious crush on Julian or something and Jules just need someone who doesn't yell at him all the fucking time."
"Too bad Jules is as straight as a stick. That guy isn't that ugly. Maybe he'd get some action and stop being so fucking uptight."
Derek couldn't believe how oblivious Logan was to everything going on at the moment.
"Yeah, too bad... Can you please try and not fight with him so much? For my sake?"
"I'll try but I can't promise to just take all the shit he's giving me."
Derek shook his head, knowing that that's probably the best deal he'll get from Logan.
"So you'll apologize when he comes back?"
Logan hesitated for a second before nodding.
"Yeah, I'll apologize to our little diva."
"Great and now shut up. I want to enjoy the rest of the afternoon in the sun without hearing your annoying voice." With that Derek lad back down on his back and closed his eyes. Within minutes his breathing had evened out and he was asleep.
Logan tried to relax as well but the things Derek had just told him were running through his mind. He knew the guy. Adam something. He had seen how he had 'saved' Julian from his fans. Well, turns out he was an even bigger fan. Something didn't sit right with Logan about that guy. He was just a bit too weird and then the suddenly blooming friendship with Julian. Something seemed off.
Maybe he was overanalyzing things now that Derek had pointed out Julian's absence in the past days. Somehow Kurt had occupied his mind completely. Well, if Logan was really honest with himself he knew that he had pushed Julian to the back of his mind for a very different reason. One that was too complicated to deal with.
He'd talk to Julian later and everything would go back o normal. Well, as normal as it could be between the two of them.
A few hours later everyone had retreated back into Stuart House and Logan sat on one of the large armchairs facing the door. He was reading while he waited for Julian to turn up. Somehow he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong but he tried to ignore it. There is nothing that could've happened, right?
Around ten he started to worry. This was so unlike Julian. Disappearing for the day was pretty normal, especially if he was sulking but he'd always be back early enough. Logan closed his book with a sigh. He couldn't concentrate on any of the words anymore. What was going on with Julian? Throwing the book onto the table next to him he got up deciding to take a quick look around outside. Maybe he'd be able to spot the actor somewhere.
When he opened the front door of Stuart house his eyes fell immediately on a crushed rose with a note attached to it lying on the steps. Gingerly he picked up the broken flower only to discover his name on the outside of the folded paper. Slowly he opened the crisp white note.
He is mine now, Logan.
Say goodbye to Julian, you'll never see him again!
Logan's blood turned ice-cold at the words written in red on the white background. Was that blood? The blond felt his knees almost giving out and had to steady himself on the railing.
No, it couldn't be. Julian was probably still sulking somewhere. He has to be alright. Suddenly Logan remembered that the last time he saw Julian the actor was walking over to Hanover House. He was probably with that Adam guy right now. He had to check. Holding the broken rose closer to himself he started walking towards Hanover where he knocked on the front door and waited for someone to open the door.
When the door opened Logan was glad to see Justin standing in front of him. At least he wouldn't have to deal with anyone else.
"Logan?" asked the bewildered Justin. "Something wrong?"
"Not really, I just... I need to see Julian, he is with that Adam guy isn't he?" Inside Logan repeated the words 'Please say yes, please let him be here' over and over again like a mantra.
"Sorry, but he left with Adam around six. I don't know what happened but the one second they were kind of fighting and then they left the house towards the parking lot. Haven't come back yet."
Logan could actually feel all the blood leaving his face. No, no, no. This couldn't be right.
"No! You say they were fighting?"
"Yeah I heard them shouting at each other. Then ten minutes later Adam dragged Julian out of the door. Didn't think anything by it. Just the usual craziness."
"You didn't think anything was up when he dragged Julian outside?"
"Not really. I just thought that they would continue their fight outside but neither one has come back so then I checked the parking lot and saw that Adam's car was gone. So they probably made up and went to grab something to eat or whatever. "
"You... I need to see Adam's room."
"Logan, you know that I can't do that. Not without a reason anyway."
Logan started to get angry. This wasn't a game. If he was right in his train of thought then Adam was the crazy stalker and was with Julian right now. He balled his hand into his fist but quickly opened it when he felt a sting in his hand. The thorn of the bloody flower had dug into his palm. Right, the note. He held the note out to Justin so the other prefect could read it.
"Is that enough of a reason for you to show me the bloody room?"
"Logan... "
"Bancroft, I am not joking around here. Julian has a stalker who has threatened his life. I just found this note on the front steps, together with the crushed flower. Now you tell me that Julian left with Adam. Who dragged him out of here? Show me his fucking room." Logan all but yelled at the other prefect who looked up at him, shocked by the new revelations.
"Okay, come one." With that he opened the door wider for Logan to get in. Without saying anything else he started walking up the stairs to the second floor and towards the single room at the end of the hallway.
When Justin turned the door knob only to find it locked, Logan grunted annoyed. There was no fucking time for this but before he could complain the prefect pulled a master key out of his pocket and opened the door.
On the first glance the room seemed pretty normal. It wasn't in meticulously clean or anything but it wasn't pure chaos either. Logan walked over to the desk only to look into the very same light brown eyes he yearned for. It was a magazine with Julian on the cover. He bent down a little to move it out of the way. There they were again, Jules eyes. He started to push the papers and magazines on the desk around, filing through them only to be met by those eyes over and over again. Julian was everywhere. Without thinking he opened the desk drawer only to find copies of letters. Letters addressed to Julian. He went through them quickly, scanning the words on the paper. Every letter was signed with 'Love, your biggest fan'.
Logan felt his heart clench. He had been right. Something about Adam had set him off. He had been right. Julian was with him right now.
"Logan..." As Justin said his name the blond turned around to look at him. But Justin was crouched over something on the floor. Logan took two tentative steps to see what was wrong. When he kneeled down next to his Hanover counterpart he saw it too. Red spots on the floor. He didn't need to check it to realize that it was blood. 'Please, don't let it be Julian's, please let him be alright.' Logan repeated in his mind.
"Have you tried to call him?" Justin's voice brought him back to the present. What? Why didn't he think of that? After fumbling for a second he pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed the '3' on his speed dial. Ringing...ringing...ringing...
"I'm probably busy with all the fangirls... leave a message and I might call you back!" Beep...
Slowly his arm dropped down, phone still clutched in his hand. He looked at Justin and shook his head.
"Okay, I'm going to go and tell Dean Ramsey what is going on. You should go back to Stuart. I am sure Ramsey will call the police and they'll find Julian. "
"Just give me a moment. I wanna see if I can find anything."
"Logan, you know I can't leave you here by yourself."
"Justin, I don't care what you can and can't do. I'm going to look for any clue I can find on where that sick bastard has brought Julian. If I have to turn the whole room upside down, I don't care. Just... he is my best friend." Justin could clearly see the fear in Logan's eyes. He was surprised by Logan's strong feelings. Of course he knew that they were close. They've been best friends since freshmen year but something else was behind his troubled green eyes.
"Okay, take your time, although I am sure the police will go through everything once they are here."
With that Justin turned around and left Logan standing in the middle of the room by himself.
It only took Logan a few seconds to hit number '4' on his speed dial.
Ringing, ringing... "Logan what's going on? Where are you? What..."
"Derek shut up. Something has happened. I found Julian's stalker. It's Adam. I knew something about this guy was fishy. But there is more... D...he-he-he had Jules." Logan had difficulty controlling his voice.
"What? Logan where are you?" Derek shouted through the phone.
"Hanover. I'm in his room. I have to look for something that can tell us where he might have brought Julian."
"I'll be there in two minutes." Before Logan could say anything Derek had ended the call.
He shoved his phone back into his pocket and turned to stare at the room. If I were a crazy stalker where would I hide my evil plans?
He thought that the best option would be the desk so he started to open drawer after drawer spilling the contents on the floor. He was at the last drawer when a panting Derek appeared in the door.
"How do you know he's got Julian?"
"I found a note on the steps. Telling me that I'll never see him again."
"Creepy asshole. Okay what do you think we are looking for?"
"Maybe a piece of paper with a weird address, maybe something that seems completely normal, I don't know, anything!" Logan had started to go through the dresser that stood next to the bed.
"Go through the closet or something. Maybe boxes, whatever."
Five minutes later they still hadn't found anything apart from more creepy pictures. Some pictures where Adam had even photoshopped himself next to Julian.
"This is hopeless, Logan. We won't find anything here. The guy might me a psychopath but he isn't dumb."
Logan felt the frustration bubbling inside him. Frustration, anger, hate. If something happened to Julian it would be his fault. If he hadn't picked a fight with the actor they would have enjoyed the sun and Julian hadn't run off to Hanover. Everything was his fault. Tears were pricking at his eyes. He couldn't lose Julian. Whatever it was he felt, he wanted to have the time to figure it out.
The blond dropped down on Adam's bed screaming into his hands.
"Logan, get up!"
"Shut up Derek. There is nothing here, I get it. What have I done?" The blond yelled.
"No, get off the bed now. I heard something."
"Derek... "
"Get up you stupid prick." At once Logan got up shocked by Derek's insult.
But before he could mutter a comeback the other boy had crossed the room and lifted the mattress off of the bed. Revealing a black book with Julian's face on the cover.
Logan snatched it up at once and opened it on the first page. Derek looked at his friend trying to get a clue about the contents of the book from Logan's expression. Silence was lying heavy on them like fog. All that was audible was heavy panting from both boys. Derek didn't move. He just waited for Logan to say something. Logan's grip on the book in his hands tightened.
"Lo..."
"Shh..." Logan interrupted Derek before he could ask him what was wrong. He watched in silence as Logan flipped through a few pages until his face paled to almost matching the white wall behind him. Derek took a careful step towards one of his best friends. Before he could ask the blond a second time for an answer Logan's eyes widened.
"I know where he is." Logan said, dropped the notebook and dashed out of the room. Derek stood rooted to the spot for a second before he quickly bent down to pick up the notebook and run after Logan. By the time he had almost caught up to him the taller boy was already at his car fumbling with key to open the doors. Without hesitation Derek ran around to the passenger door and slid in as soon as the doors were unlocked.
Only a few seconds later they had left the thick iron gates of Dalton behind them.
"Logan, talk to me. Where are we going? What's going on?"
"Open the bloody book. You'll understand."
Derek opened the book and stared into Julian's eyes over and over again. Every spot of the paper was covered with picture of Julian's eyes. He quickly flipped through the pages only to discover that on a few pages lyrics or parts of poems were written across and around the pictures. Everything was written in a dark red. Derek wasn't sure whether it was blood or not. But if he were honest with himself he really didn't want to know.
"This is sick. He is obsessed with Jules but..."
"Go further!"
Silently Derek turned the page and saw the title of the next one. 'He is mine!" His insides started to clench. Those words rarely meant something positive, especially not with a stalker. There were picture of an old and vacant hotel building circled in red and the words 'perfect location' scribbled over the pictures. Derek thought that the place looked kind of familiar he opened the next page and in those pictures he finally recognized the place.
"Logan, it takes us 20 minutes to get there."
"I know. We have to help him... I-I-... we have to." Logan stopped speaking and concentrated on the road in front of him. "Next page Derek."
With shaking fingers Derek turned to the next page, holding his breath, unsure of what he might find.
At first he thought it was just some nicely decorated and luxurious hotel room but then he saw the title of the page. 'PLAY ROOM!' And then he saw all kinds of things at once. Ropes around the posts of the bed. Chains hanging from one wall and so much more. With a shocked outcry he threw the book down and it landed on his feet.
"That sick bastard. Logan drive faster!" Derek yelled furiously.
"I'm already driving as fast as I can." With that the both boys fell silent. Logan was secretly glad for the silence because he needed his full concentration to reel in his anger and to pay attention to the road.
Sixteen and a half minutes later the blond stopped the car in front of the old hotel complex. Without hesitation he opened his door and got out of the car.
"There's Adam's car. They are here." Derek said while getting out of the car as well.
Both boys walked up to the main entrance. Luckily they found wide open doors leading into the depth of the dilapidated hotel complex.
"I guess the rooms are all upstairs." Logan said suddenly unsure of how to handle this.
"Lo, shouldn't we call the cops. Let them handle everything? This guy is completely mental."
Logan looked back at his friend. For a second he weighed the options. Calling the cops might be a good idea. But it would take them at least half and hour to get here. They couldn't afford losing more time.
"No, it'll take them too long to get here. We have to get him out. Derek, I can't lose him! Call the cops if you want to and wait for them down here. I'll go upstairs and find Julian." Derek looked at his friend, seeing something in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Fear of losing something precious. Losing Julian.
"Okay, go. I'll call the cops." Derek fished his phone out of his pocket while Logan was halfway up the grand staircase when Derek called out to him.
"Logan?" The blond boy turned around, angry about the interruption. He didn't want to lose more time. "Be careful!"
He nodded back at Derek and sprinted the rest of the steps up. Reaching the last step he stopped and looked around for a moment. Long hallways were stretched out on both sides with nearly 20 rooms on each side. He would never find Julian fast enough. The painful truth washed over him and suddenly he felt like all hope was gone and he dropped his gaze onto the floor. Thick dust was covering the old and ragged carpet. A thick layer, only broken by a few footprints. Logan sighed with a smile on his face. The footprints disappeared to his right and he immediately fell back into a quick run following the visible traces of someone's presence in the old hotel.
The tracks stopped in front of a door at the end of the hallway. Unsure of what he would find behind the door Logan took one last breath before pushing it slowly a couple of inches open. All he could see was the edge of a bed but he could hear a whimper accompanied by ruffling of clothes or fabric or something. Hesitantly he pushed the door open a bit more trying to get a glimpse of the whole room.
He had been right. There stood Adam with his back to him. Towering over the large bed where Julian lay. Well, all he could see at the moment was Julian's hair; Adam stood in the way and shielded Julian from his view.
A loud whimper came from the bed and it took Logan every bit of willpower to not just barge into the room. He needed a plan, well, at least an idea how to attack Adam without giving him the chance to hurt Julian.
"Shh... baby. No need to be whiny. You've only yourself to blame." Logan's eyes flicked back to the back of Adams head. "If you'd done what I'd ask you to I wouldn't have to punish you." Punish? Logan's eyes grew wide. What the fuck was that psycho doing to Julian. "Be glad that I am quite fond of your face. I suppose your ribs are hurting I think I broke one or two but that won't kill you. I could do this over and over again and you'd still live." Adam growled loudly.
A shiver ran down Logan's spine that sick bastard. He had hurt Julian. Something deep inside him unravelled and he felt anger and something that could only be described as possessiveness rush through his body.
"Say it!" Adam's voice was even louder now and something in his voice frightened Logan. He was afraid for Julian's life. "Come on baby," the dangerous boy had lowered his voice to an almost soft and comforting level, "I just want to hear you say it. Say that you love me, baby. Say that you'll stay with me." Logan felt bile rise in his throat. That disgusting creep. What the fuck is wrong with that guy.
The next sound he heard broke his heart and he had to place a hand over his mouth to stop himself from gasping. "I-I-I... f-fuck you. I don't love you...I...Lo-Logan!" Julian's voice was barely above a whisper and he sounded tired and broken. Never in his life had Logan heard something more terrifying than the sounds his best friend was making right now.
"All about that idiot. Don't you see that that asshole doesn't love you? He never will. He certainly won't when I am done with you!"
"H-he... is... b-b-bet-ter...than...you..you'll...ever be..." Julian stammered.
"He is nothing. You'll see that sooner or later." Adam snapped. Suddenly Julian screamed out in agony. Adam must've punched him again. He couldn't hold back any longer.
Silently he stepped into the room, slowly making his way over towards the bed. He was glad that Adam stood with his back to him. It would hopefully make it easier to take him down. He was taller than the other boy but Adam didn't look too scrawny. It was hard making out his physique under the rather wide clothes. The fact that he had obviously overpowered Julian meant that he couldn't be too fragile.
"Julian, I want you to say it. I'm done playing nice here." Another scream full of agony ripped through the room and tore at Logan's heart. That bastard. "Say it, baby. Say you love me."
"N-N-Never..." Julian whispered back.
"I don't really want to do this, baby, but you're not giving me another option here." Adam said with a mix of anger, resignation and sadness. "I never meant to do this but if I can't have you then no one will. I'm the only one who deserves you." The words froze Logan into place. What has he planned?
Adam leaned over towards the nightstand next to the bed and opened the drawer. Something metallic flashed in the light. A knife. Logan couldn't believe his eyes. He wouldn't. Or would he? Adam was unstable, a stalker, he had kidnapped Julian after refurnishing this room especially to hold him captured. Of course he would.
It took Logan only a second to decide on his next move. As fast and quiet as possible he stepped closer to Adam. When he was only inches away from the boy he caught Julian's red-rimmed eyes and raised a finger towards his lips signalling him to be quiet.
"L-Lo-Logan!" Julian sighed; tears that had almost stopped started again and rolled down his cheeks. Adam confused by the sudden outburst of the boy turned around. Logan noticed the movement and threw himself at Adam with as much force as he could. Both boys tumbled to the floor in front of the bed. He had Adam pinned to the floor but the other boy struggled and somehow hit him against the temple.
Logan's vision went black for a split second but it was enough time for Adam to push the taller boy off him and sit on top of him. He pulled his arm back and punched Logan hard against the jaw. It hurt like hell but Logan struggled against the weight pressing him down. Adam just smirked at him, believing that he had the situation under control.
"Look, baby, your good friend Logan decided to join us. Maybe now you'll do what I want you to do. Maybe I won't have to kill you after all. I suppose telling you that I'll kill Logan will be enough reason for you to subject to my every need." The boy laughed out loud and Logan saw his chance. Thinking about Julian and the need to save him he mustered all his strength and pushed against Adam.
The boy hadn't paid enough attention to Logan, lost his balance and fell backwards. Logan sprang to his feet as fast as possible and lunged for the boy. He concentrated all his anger and hate on the punches he threw at Adam. Only when he noticed that the boy was unconscious did he let go of him.
Getting up he walked over to the bed to look down at his best friend. Julian's eyes were closed, tears still running down his face. His shirt was bloodied and the brunette was breathing heavily. Tears stung in his eyes at the sight of his friend. Logan reached a hand out towards Julian and brushed his hair out of his face. The smaller boy's eyes opened instantly and a small smile spread across his face when he saw the blond looking down at him.
Julian opened his mouth, trying to say something but only low sounds escaped the actor's lips. Logan leaned in closer, hoping to understand his best friend.
"Lo…. you… you saved…. me." His voice was hoarse and weak and it tore at Logan's heart. He wanted to wrap the boy in his arms and tell him that everything would be alright but he wasn't stupid. Adam had said that he had broken a few of his ribs and it would be too risky to jostle Julian. Instead he leaned closer to his ear and whispered.
"You're gonna be alright Jules. You have to." The words were the pure truth. In the time he had feared for Julian's well being he had realized that he couldn't live without the other boy.
"Lo… if…if anything happens…" Logan cut him off, fingers running carefully through the brown hair.
"Nothing is going to happen. You'll be fine!" He tried o keep his voice from breaking, the fear of losing Julian still so very present.
"Lo… I-I-I love you…" Julian's eyes fluttered a few times before finally closing. Logan panicked for a few seconds before realizing that the actor had simply fallen unconscious. He held onto the boy as tightly as he dared and hoped that the cops and the ambulance would be here soon.
Not five minutes later two police men burst into the room with raised guns. They took in the scene before them and quickly cuffed Adam who had just started to move. They made sure that Logan was unharmed and made way for the paramedics who entered the room. They carefully loaded Julian onto the stretcher and Logan followed them down the stairs and outside where Derek was waiting.
When he saw his friends he ran towards them. "Logan, what happened? Are you alright? What's wrong with Julian? I saw them loading Adam into the police car. Are you harmed? What happened?" Derek rushed his words out until Logan interrupted him.
"I'm okay, the bastard punched me but I am alright. Julian is worse though. Adam broke a few of his ribs at least that's what he said. I-I-I don't know. I think he's unconscious now." Logan couldn't fight the tears anymore as he clutched Derek's arm tightly. "D-D... I-I-I thought I would lose him. He-He told me he loved me. Jules thought he would die a-and he-he said that he loved me. I-I'm confused." Blinking away the tears in his eyes Logan looked at Derek intently, hoping to get an answer out of him.
"I think you two need to talk when all this is over." Derek looked at his friend whose head hung low and was shaking now. "Logan, do you have feelings for Jules?" The blonds head snapped back up.
"I-I-I don't know. I mean...he's my best friend but-but all I could think about while I fought with Adam was that there is so much I want to say to him. I-I can't lose him... I-I think so..." Logan's voice broke and fresh tears streamed down his face.
A smile spread across Derek's face. The situation was as bad as it gets but it seems like something good would come out of it.
"Come on, Lo, we'll follow the ambulance to the hospital. I'm sure Jules wants to see you when he wakes up."
The two boys were silent on the drive to the hospital. Logan repeated Julian's words over and over again in his head. This was big and it would probably change everything but he felt like Julian might be worth it.
Half an hour later Derek and Logan were in the waiting room at the hospital; Logan pacing from one end to the other while Derek sat on an uncomfortable hospital chair and begged Logan to sit down. But the blond couldn't sit still he had to do something and walking around was the only thing he could do. The waiting was the worst kind of torture. Different scenarios ran through his head. One darker than the other. What if Julian didn't wake up? What if the doctors couldn't do anything to help him?
"You are here with Mr. Larson?" A tall man in white lab coat stood in the doorway of the waiting room. Logan spun around and looked at him with wide eyes.
"How is he? Will he be alright?" the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
The doctor smiled at them. "He's going to be fine. A few broken ribs, one almost punctured his lung but we fixed that. It'll take some time to heal but he'll be as good as new." Derek and Logan sighed in relief. The blond ran a hand through his hair trying to calm himself down. Everything was going to be alright.
"Is he awake? Can we see him?" Logan glanced at the doctor with hopeful eyes.
"He's still asleep. The whole thing was rather exhausting for him but if you promise not to wake him up I'll take you to his room." Without hesitation both boys followed the man down the hallway and to Julian's room.
The doctor let them in and told them again not to wake the actor up. Both boys quickly walked into the room, Derek closed the door while Logan stood rooted to the spot. Julian lay on the hospital bed under a white blanket that only made him look even paler. He seemed so small, needles stuck in his arm and hand, a tube running around his head. Tears welled up in Logan's eyes at the sight. It was frightening.
Derek watched Logan's reaction intently. He saw the fear in his eyes and laid a comforting hand on his arm. "He's gonna be alright, Lo. You heard what the doctor said."
Logan couldn't tear his eyes away from Julian. "I know D. It's just... Adam wanted to kill him because he wouldn't say that he loved him. He-he all he said was my name. It made Adam so angry. D, he wanted to kill him. If-if-if I hadn't been there..." Logan's voice broke and finally the tears spilled over, leaving new tear tracks on his cheeks.
"It's okay, Lo. It was close but everything's going to be alright. Don't think about the 'what if's'." Derek squeezed Logan's arm and smiled at him. For a few seconds Logan tore his eyes away from Julian lying on the bed and looked at Derek's hopeful face. A small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes spread on his face.
A groan shook both boys out of their moment. Logan's eyes snapped back to the bed where Julian's eyes were fluttering. With two quick strides he stood directly at the bed looking down at his friend.
"Jules?" He asked quietly, reaching out a hand to place it over Julian's that was lying on top of the blanket. "Jules, are you awake?" Logan tried again. This time Julian's eyes fluttered open and focused on Logan after a second. A weak smile spread on his face.
"Lo..."he croaked, voice raspy and almost too low to hear.
"Don't Jules. I'm here. It'll be alright. Don't talk. You need to save your energy." Logan squeezed the brunette's hand, mimicking the smile on Julian's face.
Derek watched his two best friend in awe. He had never seen Logan be so caring. It was truly amazing. Feeling like he was intruding on something way too private he pushed one of the chairs over to the bed so Logan could sit down.
He looked down at Julian and smiled.
"Hey Jules, it's so good to see you awake. We were really worried." The smile on Julian's face grew a bit wider. "I'm gonna go outside so the two of you can talk."
"Th-thanks D." Julian groaned.
With a nod Derek turned around and left the room. After the door closed again Logan trained his eyes back on Julian. Not letting go of Julian's hand Logan pulled the chair closer and sat down. For the longest time the two boys just looked at each other. Finding peace and ease in the eye of the other one. Logan absentmindedly patterns on the back of Julian's hand.
"Jules," Logan began softly, "what you said back there, did you mean it?"
Logan could see all the emotions playing out on Julian's face. No matter how good an actor the other one was, he was an open book for him.
"Lo, I-I meant every word." Julian whispered into the quiet of the room.
"Why did you never say anything?"
"You never saw me. Didn't think it was important. I'm so tired...I just..." Logan placed a soft finger on Julian's lips, shutting him up.
"We don't have to talk about it now, Jules." He hesitated for a second unsure whether he should just say it or not. "Just know that I can see you now. When I realized you were missing I panicked, not only because we are friends but because I knew that there was so much I wanted to say. We'll work this out. Go to sleep, Jules, I'll be here when you wake up." Slowly he pulled his finger away from Julian's lips instantly missing the additional skin contact.
Julian smiled. "Didn't take you for the cheesy kind, Wright, that was actually kinda cute."
"I swear if you tell anyone you'll be in big trouble, Larson." Logan snarled, the big grin on his face giving away his amusement though. They would always be snarky with each other that was simply how they worked.
"Love you." Julian murmured before his eyes fluttered close and his breathing evened out almost instantly.
Logan just smiled down at him, standing back up for a second he dropped a sweet kiss on Julian's forehead.
"Sleep well, diva. I'll be here." he whispered into Julian's ear before he made himself comfortable in the chair, prepared to wait until Julian woke up again and they could talk. His hand was still resting over Julian's and no matter how uncomfortable it made sitting in the chair, he wouldn't let go of Julian ever again.