A.N. So my American family and I went to a burger joint for dinner after an evening at the beach. While I (a hetalia fan/Italy roleplayer) sat in the booth next to my older sister (who is also a Hetalia fan/Romano cosplayer/roleplayer) she was commenting on how she really was enjoying her food. As she said this she stuffed a few more French fries into her mouth. She then proceeded to freeze and her face was overcome with a look of utter horror. "Actually, I just became disgusted with myself." I was really confused so I asked her, "What? Why?" And that's when it dawned on me that she was eating potatoes and Romano hates potatoes. I laughed at her but then proceeded to say, "Well at least you have been eating them with a lot of ketchup." Her face broke into a grin and she exclaimed, "Oh my gosh that's right! I do love ketchup!" Immediately we grinned and exclaimed, "Headcanon accepted!" All the while our parents looked on like: -.-'
So I decided to write the lengthy one shot based on that experience/newly developed headcanon between my sister and I XD
Please enjoy.
Ketchup
"Idiota! Why the hell do you think I'd want to waste my day hanging around those bastardos?!" Romano shouted comically with his hands on his hips in a gesture that only served to further prove how upset he was at the prospect.
The Northern personification of the country of Italy cowered in fear at his older brother's harsh words. He held his hands over his ears, trying to block out his Fratello's angry screaming. Prussia and America who stood just behind the small Italian nation laughed heartily, thinking Romano was only kidding. Prussia had invited Italy to hang out with him and America for the day because Denmark was too busy; however, Romano was not fond of the two nations whom he so lovingly nicknamed the, "albino-potato-bastard" and the "hamburger-bastard".
Prussia had just gotten through a particularly obnoxious yet somehow still awesome bout of laughter before he moved to stand beside Italy and sling an arm over the smaller nation's shoulders in a gesture that was purely friendly.
"Kesese, come on Romano you don't mean that! There are tons of other nations dying to hang out with us by our request! We're awesome!" Italy gave a weak smile up at the Albino as he knew his words would only make the situation worse. Romano reacted by marching towards the three nations and wrenching his younger brother from their clutches.
"Fratello I don't want you hanging around bastardos like them eh!"
America began to laugh obnoxiously once more, "Hahahaha! Oh come on dude lighten up! We're not as horrible as you make us out to be! Listen to the Prussian we really are pretty awesome if you give us a chance, besides today will be our treat too you if you come."
Prussia's eyebrows shot upwards in alarm at the American's words and he began to grumble, "What the he-" however he was cut short from speaking when America's well placed elbow to his gut shut his mouth. Italy's head was tilted sideways in a cute little gesture as though he were taking this into consideration. He then proceeded to turn to Romano.
"Ve, per favore Fratello? Their treat and I promise I won't ever ask you for something like this again!" Italy had his hands clasped in front of him as he made a show of begging his brother to come along with them as they hung out. Romano now had his arms crossed over his chest defensively as his whole posture screamed "no" yet his face showed obviously that he was breaking and beginning to lean towards a, "maybe" perhaps even, a "yes".
"On one condition…" he began after a pregnant pause where the three consulting nations stood with bated breath. He directed the rest of his query at America, "Will you be taking us out to eat? And I mean good food too you Bastard! Not some fake shit, like that Olive-whatever-the-hell it is fucking called! That place is so fake it makes me wanna to puke!"
As everyone's smiles stretched into grins at his words, Romano huffed out a breath in annoyance, "Cosa!" America's grin was radiant as he moved to settle an arm around Romano's shoulders. "Dude! I promise dinner will be my treat and we won't go to any "fake Italian restaurants." Romano groaned in irritation at the close proximity and loss of personal space before weakly shoving the American away with an angry remark of, "Don't touch me!"
Prussia and America broke out into chuckles that even Italy couldn't help but join in to with his own refrained giggles.
The four nations had piled into America's truck and were on their way to an American mall. They had each dressed casually and because their evening was going to be spent amongst humans they had to be on a first name basis. Romano was less than pleased but he had his alternative names for the two idiots in the driver's and passenger's seats in front of him.
"So Feliciano, did I mention what movie we're going to see at the movie theater?" Prussia asked without looking back at the younger Italian nation he'd addressed. Italy thought silently for a second before replying, "Ve no, Gil I don't think you did. Why? Are you going to tell us or is it a surprise?"
Prussia gave his signature laugh before giving the American to his left a playful sock in the shoulder. "So I guess this horror film just came out in theaters and it's supposed to be really scary. Kesese this chicken probably didn't want to watch it by himself." America gave a nervous chuckle as he focused on his driving and replied, "Dude whatever do you wanna hang out or not? It's supposed to be a good movie anyway so why are you complaining?" Prussia grinned cheekily.
America then raised his eyes to the rearview mirror to look at the Italian brother's occupying the backseat. "It's gonna be so tight dudes!" He gave them a thumbs-up and continued with his driving. Italy began to fidget uncomfortably and he glanced at Romano who sat slouched in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest and annoyed pout on his face. This only served to make the smaller Italian more nervous as he came to the conclusion that his big brother Romano wasn't in the least bit fazed at the prospect of having to watch a Horror film.
Yes, there was the possibility that it would end up being dumb but Italy didn't do well with horror at all. He hoped that the movie wouldn't be too bad. "Oh und hey! Guys I forgot to mention something else." Prussia began as he turned in his seat to address the Italians. "The movie is supposed to be based on actual events that really happened! Awesome right?" As Prussia broke out into a toothy grin Italy's face broke out into an expression of horror and Romano looked disturbed. "What the fuck?" Italy heard his brother mutter under his breath.
As they turned into the parking lot of the mall Italy's mood began to melt into its regular light-heartedness. The four made their way to the entrance after which they navigated the large building that was surprisingly enough rather crowded with shoppers and other groups of people hanging out like they were and made it to the theater. America had apparently pre-ordered their tickets so there was no need to stand in line and purchase them there. Once they'd entered the employee at the entrance had directed them to, "Theater 5 on your left, thank you."
The three followed behind the exuberant America as he bounded over to the snack bar like a child. "Okay dudes we got the works! Anyone want popcorn, soda, nachos, candy, slushie, ice cream?" America babbled excitedly and none of them was sure if it was his nerves kicking in at the moment or his normal exuberance. Romano shrugged like he didn't care and America proceeded to order what he wanted, Prussia smiled kindly at the two, "You sure you don't want to share a popcorn or anything? Feliciano do you want candy or ice cream?" Italy beamed up at Prussia before saying, "Oh Grazie Gilbert, uhm do you think I could maybe get some chocolate?"
Prussia broke out into a grin, "Ja Feli, the awesome me shall get you your chocolate just wait here!" Romano rolled his eyes at both America and Prussia's antics. Those two were always way too happy. Prussia returned presently with a bag of popcorn for himself and a box of bite sized chocolates for Italy. America returned presently; his arms loaded with a large bag of popcorn, a soda, and a hotdog. "Okay dudes whose ready?!"
The four nations walked down the large hall amongst the other movie goers. Small children tugged at parent's hands, teenagers laughed loudly amongst each other, couples walked in comfortable silences and then there was these four. As they neared theater 5 America's pace began to slow which caused Romano to bump into him and then Italy to accidentally bump into Romano. America was basically standing outside of the theater babbling out his fears and second thoughts as Romano was cussing him out for not walking faster while at the same time scolding Italy harshly for not watching where he was going. Italy was hurriedly apologizing while also saying that Romano should apologize to Alfred. Prussia all the while stood watching the three of them without trying to laugh but he was failing miserably.
Finally Prussia, Italy, Romano, and America made it into the theater. It was already rather dark and the pre-movie trailers were playing on the screen. Prussia led the group to sit on the end of a row in the middle of the theater. He entered first sitting down on the fourth seat in, followed by Italy, then Romano, and lastly America, who sat in the aisle seat.
Right as they had all settled into their seats the feature presentation began. America began munching noisily on his popcorn and hotdog while slurping on his soda and Prussia shared his popcorn with Italy while Italy shared his chocolate with Prussia. He would occasionally offer some to Romano but he'd refuse.
As the movie played on and the story line progressed America had ditched his food and drink to curl up into his seat. He had his knees pulled up to his chin and his arms were wrapped around them in an effort to console himself. All the while he would keep mumbling to himself in a horrified way, "It's just a movie, oh but it actually happened! Oh shit! Oh shit!"
Romano had jumped a few times and admittedly even covered his own eyes but other than that he was okay with watching the horror film despite the occurrence of moments where the entire theater would jump and shout with fear but then, Romano would simply add in to the shouts with his own, "Oh fucking…hell no!"
Italy on the other hand was faring just a little better than America. He had curled up on his seat long before America had and he had been covering his face with his hands shamelessly as well as squealing and squeaking in terror at every scary part. At this point he had taken to being consoled by Prussia. Yes, Prussia would protect him from the scary monsters.
Prussia was enjoying the horror film way too much. He would cackle rather maniacally at the scary parts despite being scared himself. He would occasionally become so startled that he would jump and mutter, "Oh sheiza! Kesese," but other than that he was enjoying himself and kept his signature grin in place. He was especially enjoying himself now that Italy had cuddled closer to his side and taken to hiding his face in his shoulder when terrified. Prussia had slowly gotten his arm around the smaller nation to comfort him and now that was the position in which they found themselves enjoying the film.
Romano jumped in his seat for what had to be the hundredth time since the start of the film. He looked over to see his younger brother curled into the Albino-bastard who had his arm wrapped around him. He felt anger surge through him and he whispered harshly at the two. "Oi! Albino-pervert! Keepa your hands to yourself and offa my baby brother eh!" At that point neither personification had moved at Romano's words and he wasn't sure if they had heard him or were purposely ignoring him. He opened his mouth ready to shout obscenities at their apparent deafness when a sudden pressure on his right shoulder drew his attention away from the Prussian with his arm around his brother to the American sitting to his right.
America was so terrified right now. He mumbled quickly and he stared horrified at the screen in front of him. "They're just toys they cannot actually attack you! Oh shit! Why the hell is it moving by itself? Run! Ohhh, good job; call for your mom little girl she'll save you! Oh shit! Oh shit! No!" By the time he'd screamed out "no!" he'd latched himself to Romano's arm and buried his face in the Italian's shoulder.
Romano jumped as his attention was immediately drawn to the American who'd latched himself to his arm. What the fucking hell? Romano shook his arm violently as he felt as though he was quickly losing the circulation in the limb. "What the fuck Alfred! I told you, don't touch m-" Romano was cut off as America, whose face had been pressed into Romano's shoulder up until then peeked up at him over his glasses with large eyes that were brimming over with tears. "Is it over dude?" He whispered fearfully.
Romano's face broke from anger into surprise. Right now the expression he was presented with from the American reminded him unwittingly of his younger brother Veneciano. Romano sighed and replied through grit teeth, "Si the scene is over now can you let go of my arm eh? You're fucking cutting off the circulation." America blinked, his eyes sparkling as a grin replaced the features that had been previously horror stricken. He straightened in his seat after releasing Romano from his vice like grip. "Haha thanks dude. Sorry." Romano grumbled under his breath and rolled his eyes before replying, "Whatever Bastardo just don't let it happen again eh?"
At the end of the movie Prussia stood immediately from his seat making a show of stretching his arms above his head. "Kesese that was un awesome movie ja?" He turned to see Italy shakily standing and forcing a wavering smile onto his still rather horrified face. Romano stood lazily like he had been nothing but extremely bored by the film. America stood shakily as well and chuckled. "Well dudes that movie wasn't so bad right? Hahaha." Romano rolled his eyes as Italy looked at him rather disbelievingly. "Well I thought it was terrifying but I'm glad we could all come together, ve."
The four nations were back in America's car. "Ve America, where are we going to go to eat dinner? I'm hungry?" America nodded, "Yeah dude I'm starving too but it's a surprise." Romano growled out, "It better someplace with good food damn it!" America laughed heartily at Romano, "Dudes don't worry I got you!"
As he spoke, he had exited the freeway and driven into a shopping center. It had everything from restaurants to stores but the four nations' destination was one restaurant in particular. A burger joint that was still open despite how quickly the evening was turning to night. The restaurant appeared to be crowded, downright packed, according to the looks of it. The parking lot had minimal amount of parking spaces left and the diners were eating both in the dining hall inside the actual restaurant and in their provided outdoor sitting area.
America parked the car and with a satisfied sigh he turned in his seat to look at the other occupants of the car. Prussia looked fine as though he had assumed all along that America would take them to a burger joint. Italy looked wary and his face appeared worried. Romano appeared to be struggling with his quickly rising temper.
He failed in his struggle and resigned to letting America know exactly what he was thinking. "What the crapola Alfred! I said I didn't want to be taken to any fake Italian restaurants but that did not mean I would be okay with eating your stupid American food!" America responded by bursting into laughter. "Aw come on Lovino, dude you'll love it. I just know it."
The four men proceeded to exit the vehicle and Amrica led the way into the restaurant. They waited in a line that went quick enough for how long it was. When they got to the front and the employee working the register asked what they wanted America stepped in and ordered for everyone. He asked about certain toppings and beverages everyone wanted individually but overall he chose the meal. He was paying after all.
After ordering the four made their way to a booth where they sat down. Prussia and America sat beside each other, occupying one side of the booth while Italy and Romano occupied the other, sitting next to one another. "So…this has been fun si?" Italy tried to strike up conversation rather awkwardly while his brother continued to grumble grouchily beside him. Prussia gave a grin an he replied, "Ja especially because this evening has been Alfred's treat!"
America in response to Prussia's words rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Come on man it's the least I could do right. And Lovino, bro don't worry about the food. It'll be great." Prussia cackled at Romano's face and the Italian replied, "Like hell I'm not gonna to worry about it! I am gonna take your word? Hell no. You are the one here who used to somehow live off of Arthur's cooking! Not happening."
America's grin faltered as he seemed to think about Romano's words when he finally understood that the Southern personification of Italy was referring to England's cooking abilities his expression slipped into a grimace. "Yeah well dude that doesn't count." A blush began to slowly form on the nation's cheeks. "Kesesese like hell it doesn't! But whatever right? Seriously though these burgers are pretty damn good. And that's coming from me." Prussia laughed. Italy grinned at his words and Romano allowed the tiniest smirk to slip onto his face before saying, "Yeah whatever you are no better you damn potato eater."
As they broke out into laughter their waiter approached their table with their order. He gave them all their drinks. Prussia had gotten a strawberry milkshake, America had gotten a large coke, Italy had a large chocolate milkshake, and Romano ordered an iced tea. Then he placed everyone's burgers in front of them. They all had a burger with fries on the side. America immediately began tucking into his food. Prussia grabbed a few fries, ate them and then proceeded to grab one more and raise up to the top of his head. Almost immediately Gilbird, his small yellow companion, flew out of his hair and snatched up the fry.
The tiny yellow bird perched on Prussia's shoulder. Romano reacted comically, "What the hell Gilbert has he been in your fucking hair this whole time?" Prussia chuckled, "Ja, the little guy goes everywhere with me." America looked over at the small bird, "Yo little dude. I almost forgot all about him." Italy cooed at the little guy, "Ciao Gilbird! Aw aren't you just adorable?" The little guy, in response to all the attention he was receiving, fluffed his feathers to appear all the more adorable.
"So why the fuck do you think I'd want to eat these?" Romano asked suddenly while holding up a french fry. Italy smiled, "Aw come fratello just try it?" Romano scowled stubbornly. "No Feliciano! This I where I draw the line! I'll eat the fucking burger…it has tomatoes on it; at least you bastards did something right. But I will not eat these damn potatoes." Prussia feigned an insulted look and said, "Aw come now Lovino you can't hate awesome potatoes that badly?"
"Dude it's not like you'll die. Just try one fry." America was already halfway through his meal while Romano had barely touched his. The two surprisingly just as stubborn men looked at each other intensely then Romano finally relented. "God dammit, fine!" In a moment their booth hushed into shocked silence as Romano snatched up three French fries and stuffed them into his mouth. He chewed them savagely and then swallowed forcefully. The silence at the table stretched on.
"Fratello..?" Italy asked slowly as Romano sat with his arms crossed over his chest and his hair shading his face from view. Romano looked up at everyone with a scowl on his face. "That was fucking disgusting you fucker!" He snatched up his drink and proceeded to gulp down almost all of it. Prussia and America began to laugh hysterically. "Damn Lovino!" America crooned. "I didn't think you had it in you!" Italy sat beside his brother trying not to laugh. He turned and picked up the bottle of ketchup sitting on the table.
"You know Fratello I really think you should try them with this. It tastes better I swear." Italy was smiling sincerely at his brother who looked him in the face skeptically then looked at the bottle of Ketchup in his hand. He picked it up looking at it's label. He was pleasantly surprised to see the picture of a tomato on the label so he then proceeded to pour a little bit of the condiment on the fries. He slowly tried the fires again, this time with the ketchup.
"So dude? What do you think?" America asked cautiously. Romano sat chewing thoughtfully. Prussia and Italy sat staring at him intently. "You know…" Romano began after a pause. He picked up the bottle of ketchup again, "This is probably the only god damn thing you've ever done right." He smirked at America as he gesture to the bottle in his hand. America and the other two occupants at the table broke out into grins. "Awesome!" Prussia grinned and continued eating his meal. Italy smiled warmly as he ate is food.
He was ecstatic the Romano seemed to be enjoying his food now. His older brother had even added more ketchup to his hamburger. Despite already knowing what his answer would be, Italy grinned and asked Romano, "So you like the ketchup fratello?" Romano who was currently munching on more fries slathered in Ketchup said, "What the fuck do you think? This is fucking genius! I can now cover the disgusting taste of these potatoes with the wonderful taste of tomates!" So everyone had enjoyed their evening after all and Romano found a new joy in the condiment known as Ketchup.
A.N. So did you enjoy it? I ope it ws able to mae you laugh at least once. I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading! Toodles~