The World that Never was is one of the few places DiZ doesn't follow me. It's too close to the darkness for him. He says I should only go when he sends me, as it is my most dangerous temptation. I didn't tell him I was coming, but I'm sure he knows anyway. It's not like he has any use for me. He doesn't even know who I am anymore. He can't even say he's my master at this point.
At one point, I thought I could love DiZ as I loved Ansem, but there's just no comparison. I needed someone who wasn't always brooding, so I wouldn't always be brooding. Though those amber eyes were shockingly similar, they didn't hold the same intent, and they definitely couldn't love me the same. I'm not sure they could love me at all. Besides, he seemed pretty contend with Roxas in his grasp. Most everyone preferred Sora, even if it was only half of him.
Most everyone. But not Ansem, never Ansem. I was his love...and I'd betrayed him. I betrayed him, I humiliated him, I left him. And I let Sora kill him. Even though Ansem was my love... And all for what? Why did he have to die? Why did Sora have to kill him?! ...And why did I have to leave? Why did I have to fight him? Why did I have to deny him a second time? Because he was from the darkness wasn't a good enough answer for me. I wasn't exactly from the light, myself. Even after DiZ took me in, I walked the line between. I never belonged anywhere. But when I was with Ansem, he made me feel like I belonged with him.
That's why I'm not with DiZ. I did what he asked, I brought him Roxas, but I was done working for him. It was time I separated from Sora. I couldn't be his friend like this. Even if he didn't attack me on sight, even if he understood, every time he would look at me, he would remember someone he hated or look at me with pitying eyes. He would be ashamed that I'd turned once more to the ever-beckoning darkness. The darkness I half belonged to. The only shame I took in my new form was having to remember the pain I caused my love every time I saw a mirror.
I felt arms wrap around my waist and shot up.
"Think of the mess we'd have to clean up if you fell from this height," the voice's owner gently pulls me down from the ledge of the dark skyscraper. He turns me around and I'm shocked to see what I think for a moment is Ansem. But Ansem is dead and this isn't him, even if he looks identical to the form I've taken on. Chances are, this was his Nobody. I could live with that, knowing part of him was alive. "I've watched you. I've waited for you to come to me, and here you are, my dear Riku."
"You don't know me."
"Part of me did. And all of me loved you."
"You don't have a heart. You can't love me."
He cocks a brow. "Don't I?" he took of my glove, leading my naked hand to his neck. He had a heartbeat.
"Are you not a Nobody?"
"Walk with me," he commands lightly, never letting go. " A Nobody surely is one who has lost their own heart, but the principle of a soulmate still applies."
"I'm sorry, I don't follow, An-"
"Xemnas. My name is Xemnas. When a person finds their soulmate -the person they were born to find and love- their hearts blend into one and they share a heartbeat as long as they are together. While neither of the times you met me did I have a heart, you unknowingly shared yours. I was able to love you both times because we are soulmates. So, tell me Riku: will you join me once more? Not as a servant, but as my love."
I looked directly into his eyes, the eyes that were exactly like Ansem's.
"Can you really still love me? Even if I'm like this now?"
"One does not stop loving one's only true mate over body modification."
"Then I will go with you, but I have a new rule about my body."
"Oh? I'm sure I can comply."
"I will only let you touch me if your hands are so full of intention it feels like you're writing a novel on my skin. That is my only condition."
"Did you even need to say that?"
"Xemnas, I'm serious!"
He cups my face and if I'd ever been angry with him, I absolutely couldn't be now. "You're adorable." He brings his lips to mine and I throw my hands around his neck. I melt one the spot. Did I honestly need to give that condition? He already knew.
This person, not my master, but my soulmate, I loved him more than I did last time.
