This is supposed to be funny…but it's not funny. I can't remember the exact dialogue either Sweeney or Anthony say in the first scene when Anthony comes running into Sweeney's shop and tells both Mrs. Lovett and him about seeing Johanna, and her throwing a key at him, and his plan of sneaking into Turpin's place and asking her to go away with him. I got this idea when I remembered something like what happens to Anthony in this story happened to my friend two years ago. But unlike Anthony, she was unfortunate enough to have it fall on her head. You'll all see what I'm talking about when you read. I hope you like it. Or find it amusing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sweeney Todd. Nor will I ever.
The Sailor's Dilemma
The door to the barber shop was thrown open and an over-enthusiastic Anthony came barging in with a wild and excited expression. His eyes were big and round, threatening to pop out of his head at any second. Mrs. Lovett stood by the barber chair, surprised at the intrusion, while Sweeney was hiding behind the door, razor in hand and a thirst for Turpin's blood visible in his posture and eyes, when he came in.
Anthony faced Sweeney and cried, "Mr. Todd! I've met this girl and she threw this at me," Anthony showed him the key with the long blue ribbon attached to it which Johanna had thrown down at him. "Her name's Johanna—" Sweeney stopped and looked at Mrs. Lovett with a knowing glance, and both continued to listen to the sailor's narrative. "I'm going to use it to go in and beg her to come away with me once her guardian Turpin, he's some sort of judge."
"Easy lad, have a seat and tell us everything." Sweeney settled Anthony into the chair and as he did so, he saw a rather odd white glossy blemish on the boy's right shoulder. Mrs. Lovett was staring at the same thing with a confused look as was the barber.
Sweeney's brows furrowed and he frowned curiously.
"What is that?" Sweeney indicated to the stain of both his and Mrs. Lovett's current attention. Startled, but quickly looking to where he was pointing, Anthony turned a deep red and stuttered abashedly, "Oh, it would seem its bird droppings. It must have happened last night."
"Last night?" Sweeney questioned.
Anthony nodded his head sheepishly, still red and explained embarrassedly, "While I was asleep."
"And where were you sleeping love where that sort of thing could 'ave happened?" Mrs. Lovett enquired, finding it disturbing for a man to going running around London with a patent and abasing stain as bird droppings on his clothing without knowing it.
"I've been sleeping on a bench in Regent's Park ma'ma. I haven't any family in London and I don't have a penny to my name so I've been forced to sleep in parks and any other place where I can find to rest for the night." Again he was good enough to explain.
Much to everyone's surprise, Sweeney dug into his pockets and handed the sailor a few coins and said with a stern voice that sounded more like a growl, "Here take this and go find yourself a room in a inn."
Anthony was about to protest, his modesty not allowing him to take the money Sweeney offered him, when said barber gave him a look that told him it was an order which he was expected to obey. Taking the money and placing it safely in his pocket, Anthony stood up and headed for the door to do as he was babe by the barber.
With his hand on the doorknob, he suddenly remembered why he had sought the barber and begged zealously, "Oh! Before I forget, is it alright Mr. Todd if I bring her here for a few hours while I go get a carriage, please sir? I'll for ever be in your debt."
When he didn't answer, with her eyes resting on Sweeney, she answered for him.
"You can bring her here love." Mrs. Lovett said evenly. Sweeney stiffly nodded his head in agreement.
Anthony broke into a bright smile and sincerely thanked them both for their kindness and concurrence.
Right as he was about to leave for the second time, Sweeney suddenly looked at him and said cryptically, "I expect you to do as I've advised you Anthony."
As happy as he was to hear that they would help him rescue Johanna and holding Mr. Todd in high esteem, Anthony inclined his head and parted with the words, "I will do exactly as you've asked of me, Mr. Todd, to be sure."
Again left alone in his shop, Mrs. Lovett couldn't help but stare at her Mr. Todd in bafflement. She couldn't see why he would care where the sailor slept at night or what he did during the hours of light. From the corner of his eye, Sweeney observed her confounded look and muttered darkly, "No daughter of mine is going to be saved by a sailor who goes prancing about London with bird shit on his shoulders and doesn't even know its there."
"Oh." Was all Mrs. Lovett said in response after a long second passed between them. His reason was a good one, if a little odd. But a father always does want what's best for his daughter no matter what.